Welcome to the longest running blog on the WNW Blog Spot…RAW IS BLOGGED!!!

And for the final time, I promise not to Billy Gunn this blog!

It’s hard to believe that my time at Wrestling News World has come to an end. I guess all good things must come to an end. I somewhat dreaded writing this final blog. Part of me is ready for my time to end while the other half of me wants to keep on doing what I love.

I started writing for WNW back in the summer of 2006. I saw a posting for the opening for a writer spot and I knew I had to take it. It had always been one of my dreams to write for a wrestling site and express my opinion. From then on, I wrote about TNA and Smackdown, two shows I knew had the potential to make it big. Then in August of 2006, I took over the spot as writer of “RAW is Blogged.” I developed a following, as evidence from all the e-mails, good & bad, I received on a weekly basis. The comment boards were lit up with everything from ideas to criticism to praise. I loved what I was doing.

Writing “RAW is Blogged” led to other opportunities. I got to write for the Fight Network’s web site. I got to write for another wrestling web site that competes with WNW & I don’t think exists anymore. I also got to start co-hosting a wrestling radio show on TNA. I met some great people and got to attend ECW’s December to Dismember, an event that will be remembered for all the wrong reasons. This was my “PPV debut” as I sat opposite the hard camera. If you go back & watch and look directly behind the Hardy Boys, you’ll see a guy with a black ECW shirt on. That’s me! Later in the month, I got to attend a live TNA PPV and see what goes on behind the scenes.

I was at one of the final house shows for Chris Benoit, who days later committed a heinous act. I’ve seen a lot over the past few years and it sucks that it’s all coming to an end.

I’ve seen & covered John Cena’s rise to prominence and permanent place in the WWE main event picture. I covered Ric Flair’s final days with the WWE, including his emotional send off on Monday Night RAW. I’ve even seen a midget take two 40-year-old men to court. I’ve seen pretty much everything on RAW, even stuff I hope to never see again!

I want to get all of my thank yous out of the way.

I want to thank a few of the readers I heard from most often.

The first is Ron Brown. Ron has been a good reader over the past few years. From time to time, he’d send me e-mails concerning various wrestling topics and always brought a fresh perspective to the business. Thanks Ron!

The next would be Ben Nicoll. Like a “seven nation army” me and Ben fought off a lot of the haters on the comment boards. He’s said some funny stuff over the years in dealing with the trolls on the boards. Thanks Ben!

The next would be Billy Tzavaras. Billy never hesitated to call me down after I said something stupid. He’s sent me e-mails with his thoughts and concerns on the product and my blog itself. He was my favorite Canadian lol. Thanks Billy!

The next would be Carlton Graham. Better known as “Wisdom” CG would also give me his thoughts and funny stories concerning my blog & the product. You better watch out for him because he’s going to make it big! Thanks Wisdom!

I’d also like to thank every fan that’s every supported me. I know I’m forgetting the names of some of you but I always appreciated your support. Words can’t describe how grateful I am to have such a following of people who supported me each week.

I want to thank the “haters” and “trolls.” Without you guys, I wouldn’t have laughed each week with some of the stuff you would post on the comment boards. Most of you cried & whined but wouldn’t “man up” and directly e-mail me like some of the others who disagreed with me. Hey, it takes a real man to argue behind a screen name on an internet message board.

Most of all, I want to thank the people who actually read my blog. I know some of you just skipped on down to post your comments and didn’t bother reading what I wrote. I understand. It’s cool. I just hope in the future, you’ll read what the other writers have to say. Chances are, you didn’t just read that sentence or this one but that’s your choice.

I also want to give a shout out/thanks to Robert Manisero. We didn’t get to talk as much as everybody else but I enjoyed reading your reports on WWE Superstars. I hope you’ll enjoy your new role!

I would like to thank Kendra Bunyon & Sean Hopkins. I enjoyed our time during the Live Blogs during events. You two always brought a different perspective on the product and I always loved talking with you guys.

I want to also thank Chris Jacks & Paul Smith. These two guys made this job fun and challenging. I enjoyed reading their material and hoped I could match their efforts each week.

Chris, you’re now the Senior man on the staff, having been here the longest once I step down. I hope you’ll continue your fresh ideas and creative thoughts on your Smackdown & music blog. You were one of my favorites!

Paul, I want to wish you luck man. You’ve gotten a taste of it doing ECW coverage. Get ready for it to increase ten-fold! You know people will hate on your work no matter what. I want to wish you luck. You’ll have people forgetting about me within a couple of weeks (hopefully). The current state of the product isn’t great. I hope that it gets better so you have some quality entertainment to cover. I had some good times and I only want the best product for you! Good luck man! It’s been fun!

Lastly, I’d like to thank Richard & Ryan Gray. These two brothers were running my favorite wrestling web site and decided to take a chance on me. They gave me a shot most people dream of and I tried my best each week to deliver a good blog. I’m just glad they didn’t “future endeavor” me after a few weeks! I could not have done it without their guidance and support along the way. Thanks guys!

So for the final time, let’s get to RAW…IS…BLOGGED!!!

RAW is Blogged:
RAW is LIVE from Hartford, Connecticut with this week’s guest host: Timbaland!

The Skinny: The saga continues as the WWE demonstrates they don’t have a long-term booking plan!

I noticed on the intro that The Million Dollar Man has indeed replaced Hulk Hogan in the intro. If you cross the WWE, they’ll cut your ass out!

The show started off with Chris Jericho outside the arena, protesting his banishment from RAW. He offered to have people sign a petition to allow him back on RAW.

Opening Segment: John Cena, Sheamus
Michael Cole started off by wishing us a happy new year. By my count, we have a few days left in 2009 but King quickly corrected him. I won’t miss Michael Cole. Cena made his way down to a huge ovation and pulled a table out from under the ring. He set it up and talked about his loss to Sheamus. King mentioned this had been the most talked about match in months. Yeah, in your own mind, King! He got a huge “CENA” chant and wanted to make his rematch with Sheamus into a tables match. Sheamus came out and said that Cena had something to prove. Sheamus said RAW belonged to him but Cena quickly said RAW belonged to the WWE Universe. I won’t miss that cheap pop shit either! Sheamus said there would be no tables match and the rematch would be on his terms. Sheamus started to walk out but Cena gave him an FU through a table. Uh, that was weird. It was only the first of the weird shit they pulled throughout the night.

Timbaland was backstage with the Bellas and Gail Kim, who must have been demoted to eye candy level. Josh Matthews came in and asked Timbaland if the match was still on. OH, THAT ROVING REPORTER JOSH MATTHEWS! Mr. Land asked the people a few times if they wanted to see the “biggest match of the century” and of course they said yes. Land said it was still on.

You know, I get they want to make this into a big deal but I have to wonder why they insist on shoving this down our throats? Remember when Cena took on Lashley at the Great American Bash and they aired continuous vignettes about how it was a dream match, how it was pitting the two biggest stars against each other, even had guys picking who they thought would win? Yeah, you can’t make something into a big deal by forcing people to feel that way. You let stuff work and the crowd will let you know when it’s a big deal, when it’s the “biggest match of the century.” This continues to be a downfall for the WWE. For the guy who e-mailed me last week, how’s that for “biased” opinion?

In a weirder turn of events, Randy Orton said he was ready to break up Legacy. He said he had wasted the past year & a half associating with failure. Rhodes & DiBiase said that Orton should be thanking them for all they’ve done. Rhodes said that without them, Orton wouldn’t have won the WWE Championship three times. Orton had other ideas. He said they should be tag team champions. He said he arranged for two singles matches for Rhodes & DiBiase. If they lost, they would be out of Legacy and Orton would beat the hell out of them.

If I may opine again, since it’s my last blog, haven’t they done this before? Didn’t they have to win matches to get INTO Legacy? This just represents another example of the lack of a long-term booking plan. These two shouldn’t have to prove themselves at all. They should have been in singles matches all along and tag matches to prove themselves and get Legacy over. How the hell do you do that when you’re either A) being buried or B) being Orton’s do-boys?

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho was still protesting outside. We also got another factoid that RAW had more female viewers last week than a bunch of random, chick-watching families. For some reason, I think that’s total BS.

Match #1 – Ted DiBiase vs. Evan Bourne
Prior to the match, Orton made his way down to watch the matches and we had another Marine 2 promo. This is completely weird how this guy is a heel, yet they’re pushing his movie. This was a quick match that had Bourne get some offense. Then, DiBiase went to reverse Bourne into the turnbuckle but didn’t throw Bourne far enough. He immediately hit Dream Street for the win.
Winner: Ted DiBiase in about 3 minutes

Match #2 – Cody Rhodes vs. Mark Henry
As with DiBiase, they’ve done nothing to put Rhodes over. Mark Henry went for a big leg over Rhodes on the ropes and ended up on the outside. He seemed to hurt his knee and Rhodes continued to work this. He kicked Henry in the leg, then hit a DDT for the win. Yeah, that was a fast finish.
Winner: Cody Rhodes in 2:07

Backstage, Jillian Hall was talking with Gail about auditioning for Timbaland’s new tour. Triple H and Hornswoggle were joking around. He had Horny duct taped to a skateboard. He debated with HBK what was going on before sending Horny into Jillian, who was talking with ‘Land. After Horny crashed, he high-fived ‘Land. Um, wow?

Match #3 – Kelly Kelly vs. Maryse
They’re smart, sexy, and powerful, they’re Michael Cole’s barbers! I’ll definitely miss Maryse’s hair thing. They traded a few punches but rolled around. Kelly hit a few moves but Maryse ended up hitting her hair DDT for the win. We got a sexy pin!
Winner: Maryse in 1:38

After the match, Maryse called out Melina. She had a psycho look about her that was very sexy. She talked in French and said Melina would never be as sexy as her. I have to agree. She then kicked Kelly and left.

They then aired a Royal Rumble promo, the first time it’s been mentioned to my knowledge since after TLC. It discussed how it was a straight shot to Wrestlemania. Um, haven’t the past few years involved the Elimination Chamber with the original RR winner not actually cashing in his shot at WM? They did it in 2008 and technically, they did it last year.

Meanwhile, Jericho was still protesting and Big Show came in and said it was over. There were underlying gay tendencies being acknowledged. Jericho was given an envelope by Big Show, which made him happy. Money? No. Nude Big Show photos? No. Ticket? Yes.

In-Ring Segment: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels
Vince came out to discuss Bret Hart. A side note: I saw a clip from a few years ago with HBK in it. He was out talking about Bret Hart and stuff. All of a sudden, Hart’s music hit and the place went nuts. Of course, it was HBK just messing with the crowd. Anyway, Vince came out and immediately received a “WE WANT BRET” chant. He took credit for the guest host idea even though Donald Trump originally “announced” it. He showed a video package on hart, including the Montreal Screw Job. He said again that Bret screwed Bret. He insulted the fans for chanting ‘WHAT.” He said he could never announce Hart as a guest host and that he’ll never be a guest host.

HBK then made his way out. He said there were rivalries bigger than the industry but he wasn’t talking about Hart, rather he was talking about The Undertaker. Vince said the only person that could make that happen was HBK himself. HBK said that Vince is afraid of Bret and he needed closure. Vince said he wasn’t afraid of anybody and he was fearless. HBK said that if Hart was a guest host, only good things would happen. So Vince agreed and said Hart would host next week. Thanks DirecTV.

Meanwhile, Josh Matthews tried to interview John Cena on his attack on Sheamus. Before Cena could cut another cookie-cutter, goofy promo, SHEAMUS ATTACKED CENA! Damn, I wanted one last Cena promo for the road.

Elsewhere, Kofi was with MVP and Timbaland. MVP said he deserved a shot at Kofi if Kofi beat Miz for the US title. MVP, go beat Chavo or somebody and then give us a call. You ain’t done crap! Miz came in and said he’d still be champion a year from now. He also told that he knew from experience Gail Kim couldn’t keep up with Maryse. Dude really is supposedly dating Maryse! ‘Land said that if Kofi won, he’d get his title shot right after the match. They then rapped to “really” which sucked. Even Michael Cole got into the act by rapping, then acting serious.

Match #3a – The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston
Just think, Kofi was a main eventer a few weeks ago and now he’s doing this. The match didn’t last long as Miz came off the top rope and Kofi hit a Trouble in Paradise for the win.
Winner: Kofi Kingston in 48 seconds

Match #3b – United States Championship: The Miz © vs. Kofi Kingston
If this match lasted how long I think it did, it was around 3 minutes. Kofi dominated Miz after the return from commercial. He hit a Trouble in Paradise but as he was going for the pin, Randy Orton pulled him out.
Winner: Kofi Kingston by DQ in 3 minutes

Orton drug Kofi out and hit an RKO.

I have to ask, what the hell did that prove? I mean, they buried Miz pretty much but then had Kofi get jumped. Couldn’t they have done a match without burying Miz and furthermore, the US title?

After the break, that roving reporter Josh Matthews caught up with Orton, who said him & Kofi weren’t finished. He said they’d settle everything next week.

Match #4 – DX vs. The Big Show & Chavo Guerrero
Triple H made more gay jokes concerning Big Show & Jericho. Jericho walked in during the speech because he had gotten a ticket from Big Show. Chavo ended up being Show’s partner. Cole tried to explain this retarded decision but I wasn’t buying it. They had some back & forth action before Horny got in and tried to hit a Pedigree on Chavo. Chavo reversed but couldn’t get out of Triple H’s.
Winner: DX in 4:56

After the match, Jericho was pissed. Triple H said he’d get a rematch next week but if he lost, he’d be gone for good.

Main Event – WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Sheamus ©
Timbaland was the guest ring announcer but got little to no reaction when he came out. He seemed to struggle with his lines. Cena & Sheamus traded punches. Cena hit some VINTAGE flying shoulders. I guess “shoulder block” is now banned? Cena had Sheamus up for an FU but Sheamus grabbed the ref, getting himself a DQ.
Winner: John Cena by DQ in 2:16

Sheamus started to leave and Cena went out and attacked him. Sheamus hit 2 bicycle kicks to end the show.

I give this RAW:
2 out of 4 ring posts

The Final Word:
Well, there you have it once again. WWE doesn’t have a long-term booking plan and it shows. It seems as though they have a bi-weekly plan where they do just enough to get by. I mean, Rhodes & DiBiase have to prove themselves or be thrown out of Legacy? Kofi “challenges” for the US title but Miz gets buried?

I know Vince has his way and will continue to use this approach until somebody forces him to change. I’ll probably watch enough next week to see Bret Hart’s return & segments he’s in. I’m checking out what TNA has to offer.

And less than 15 minutes of actual wrestling? WOW!

I’ll never get why Vince does things the way he does. I will say this:

You can’t depend on John Cena, Triple H, Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker forever. You must build new stars and if you don’t, you are doomed. The current plan right now isn’t working and won’t work if you want success in the future.

Once again, it’s been a pleasure. I’ve enjoyed the good, the bad, and the ugly while doing this job. I hope the product continues to improve in 2010. I know that it wasn’t the greatest ever. I know you guys didn’t enjoy hearing me complain. You have to admit; I always told it like I saw it and never sugarcoated anything! Thanks to everybody who has been a part of this amazing ride!

“RAW is Blogged” Power Rankings
1. The Undertaker
2. Christian
3. Sheamus +1
4. DX +1
5. Randy Orton -2
6. John Cena
7. Kofi Kingston
8. Batista
9. John Morrison NEW
10. Jeri-Show
Honorable Mention:
Mark Henry, Yoshi Tatsu

“RAW is Blogged” Match of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #1
Wrestlemania 25
The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

“RAW is Blogged” YouTube Clip of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #1
Stone Cold Steve Austin’s Beer Bash – http://youtube.com/watch?v=iyD8O_zILy4

Welcome to the longest running blog on the WNW Blog Spot…RAW IS BLOGGED!!!

I promise not to Billy Gunn this blog.

One of the things I enjoyed about post-PPV RAW’s is the chance to let stuff breathe and slowly move on to the next PPV, especially if it’s over a month away.

What happened last week? We had one of the worst RAWs in history. Now, initially I gave it a 2 out of 4 rating. I went back and changed that to 0 after reading the thoughts from readers and other opinions and seeing some of the skits again.

I don’t remember the last time I said this but I know I’ve said it during 2009 so I’ll say it again; if the WWE continues their current pathway, they will be out of business within 5 years.

Don’t misunderstand me. When I say out of business, I mean, they may have one show and about 30 wrestlers.

Do you remember when you first started watching wrestling? Do you remember how all of your friends also watched & at school, you’d discuss what happened on the shows? Do you remember imitating the wrestlers because that was the cool thing to do?

I remember back in 4th grade, around the height of the Austin era in 1997/1998, I started back watching wrestling. Austin was the man. Goldberg was the man. The dream match between those two was the greatest dream a 10 year old could have.

But as I grew older, being a wrestling fan was thought of as silly. You were almost looked down upon because of the silliness that came with liking wrestling.

When Vince bought WCW, it became cool again because we would finally see the two companies have a war. All of the stars on WCW you wanted to see fight against the stars on WWE would be coming into the company. Then, Vince screwed that whole thing up and the company hasn’t recovered.

Eight years later, they’re still trying to dig themselves out of the hole they created when they purchased WCW. Yes, there have been flashes here & there, i.e. Edge-Undertaker, Punk-Undertaker, John Cena-Edge, but for the most part, they haven’t put their best foot forward.

Once again, we’re about to finish a year with no new stars out in the open.

Kofi Kingston? Nope, he was buried two straight nights after having flashes of main event caliber matches.

CM Punk? Well, he was on the rise to be a consistent main event guy only to be buried at the hands of John ‘Super’ Cena.

Jack Swagger? Who? Oh, yeah, I remember him. I haven’t seen him in weeks though.

Sheamus? Are you kidding me? He has done nothing to be even be considered a threat.

MVP? Well, he was going strong until he got bogged down with Mark Henry. Now, he’s hanging with Goldust. I’m sure there’s street cred there!

Ted Dibiase? He’s Orton’s bitch.

Cody Rhodes? See above.

Evan Bourne? Are you kidding? He hasn’t taken enough steroids for Vince to consider giving him the IC or US title, let alone a world title.

It seems as though I’m singing the same song every week and now, every month. But that’s not the end of it.

Vince has suckered a large group of fans into his ploy: kids. Kids will big their parents constantly to buy them shit and he’ll profit from this. After a while though, those kids will grow tiresome of wrestling, similar to the people who used to love it, like our friends. You must remember the time a friend of yours grew out of liking wrestling. They no longer cared for the product. The same thing will happen with this current crop. They’ll grow out of it because the same guys continue to reign over everybody; see WCW. I don’t want to liken WWE to WCW because WWE is still making money. However, unless something drastic changes, WWE will become WCW all over again.

RAW is Blogged:
RAW is LIVE from Tampa, Florida with this week’s guest host: Johnny Damon!

The Skinny:
Former Boston Red Sox member Johnny Damon hosted RAW and the entire time, I hoped he’d get his ass kicked for leaving us Boston fans to go to New York!

Opening Segment: Johnny Damon
Johnny Damon was introduced and Michael Cole explained that he used to play for Boston & New York, so boos were expected in Tampa Bay Ray country. I guess that’s fine since they claim Cena is the most controversial champion when people boo his ass. He seemed to fit right in and enjoyed the heel role. He didn’t get a big reaction act first. He said he was excited to be there and Santa would grant wishes tonight. Wait, I thought that was a genie? As he was talking, we had some fake audio of growling and a tiger came from the crowd with a lady chasing him with a golf club. More on that in a minute. The people booed this and Cole & King laughed like they were listening to Dane Cook on XM radio. Damon wanted to get this “showing” and introduced the Divas.

Before we get to the Divas match, I want to ridicule the Tiger skit. By now, most of you have heard about Tiger Woods. For the love of Bob Backlund, ESPN can’t get enough of this shit, going so far to give Tiger his own spot on the ESPN Bottomline. The man’s the best golfer probably to walk the planet. He cheated, allegedly, on his hot ass wife. He screwed up. He’s stepped back out of the spotlight to get his life together. Yet, the WWE shows their true colors again. Weeks after it has happened and everybody & his Uncle Joe has made their own jokes & spoofs, they finally pull some shit. If this had been a few weeks ago, around the time my MOTHER said Tiger changed his name to ‘Cheetah’ (get it?) I might would laugh. This was the first of many “WTF” the WWE pulled on the night.

Match #1 – Melina, Kelly, Gail vs. Jillian, Alicia, Maryse
This was a Santa’s Little Helpers match. Oh those WWE creative guys! Jillian & Gail started the match. Gail hit a few of her VINTAGE moves until Jillian gained control & tagged in Maryse. Gail finally got the tide in her favor & tagged in, of all people, KELLY! Because when you need a game winning drive, you turn to your 3rd string QB! Kelly hit some clotheslines & kicks. All hell broke loose and Melina & Alicia finally saw some action. Maryse had Kelly up but Melina drop kicked Maryse in the back, giving Kelly the help to get the pin.
Winners: Melina, Kelly, Gail

So, two people who were just in the title picture get hardly any action while Kelly & Jillian, who are hardly ever in the title picture, get most of the in-ring work? Wow.

In the mean time, we had our first of three Little People’s Court segments. It started with HBK in the arena, who was reading his subpoena. He & HHH ventured “under the ring” and used their DX glow sticks, which you can find at WWEShop.com, to find the light switch in the hallway. They then went into the area marked “Little People’s Court.” Inside, it was setup similar to a court room. Trips joked that the bailiff & HBK had similar hair follicles. Horny played them a video of stuff that had gone on over the past few weeks. I timed this segment around 7 minutes.

Match #2 – Legacy vs. Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, & Mark Henry
When Kofi came out, they did the camera so his pyro could be shown but nothing happened. My, how far Kofi has fallen. Orton started for his team but tagged in Rhodes. Rhodes & DiBiase were then both manhandled by Mark Henry. Kofi & Orton got the respective hot tags for their teams until Kofi got in trouble and Evan Bourne came him. Why they don’t push him is beyond me. He ended up hitting a Shooting Star Press on Rhodes but it was broken up by DiBiase. Kofi finally got in and went off, hitting his VINTAGE controlled frenzy. He ended up hitting Trouble in Paradise on DiBiase for the win.
Winners: Kingston, Bourne, Henry

Elsewhere, the Bellas & Eve were with Damon & Santa. Eve made a big deal about walking a foot to get some eggnog. While there, Carlito walked in and they both happened to be standing under some miseltoe. When Carlito went to kiss Eve, he discovered Chris Masters. Sgt. Santa then ordered them to take part in a match, which Damon agreed was a good idea.

After the break, they gave us another bullshit factoid about guys watching RAW last week, more than any show on ABC, NBC, CBS, and the CW combined. Well, most of the shows on those channels are chick shows. I do, however, watch NCIS on Tuesday nights on CBS. Good shit!

They had another Little People’s Court segment. This one lasted around 4 minutes. It was more of the same though. HBK said Horny had to prove himself to get in DX. They little jury threw shit at DX as they ran out from “under the ring.”

Match #3 – John Cena vs. Jack Swagger
This match pitted the guy who said he wouldn’t lose a match until he was US champ against the guy who said he wouldn’t lose a match until he was WWE champ. Guess which one has bigger goals & will ALWAYS go over. That’s right. Despite getting in plenty of offense to make it believable for once, Jack Swagger was no contest for Super Cena. Michael Cole once again remarked that Cena would trade being Superstar of the Year for the WWE Championship. NO FUCKING DUH! Do you honestly think Peyton Manning would rather be NFL MVP instead of winning the Super Bowl? Hey Cole, do you think Kobe Bryant would rather win NBA MVP than the NBA Championship? Are you a fucking moron, Michael Cole? Yes you are! Cena locked in the STFU for the win.
Winner: John “Super” Cena

Elsewhere, Dusty Rhodes, as Santa, told MVP he needed to go after people. So MVP said he wanted to face Sheamus and if he beat him, he would then get a title shot. Why doesn’t everybody subscribe to that philosophy?

Match #4 – Carlito vs. Chris Masters
Eve was at ringside. Masters reversed a springboard back elbow into the Master Lock for the win. If you want a detailed recap other than what I just gave you, seriously, you need to step away from the wrestling for a couple of days!
Winner: Chris Masters

Post match, Eve got in the ring with some miseltoe & kissed Masters. Well, I can take Eve out of my spank bank.

They then recapped the Tribute to the Troops. I missed the part with Cena. Can anybody shed any light on how they explained him having the title despite losing it?

Meanwhile, Miz told IR-Santa all the stuff he wanted for Christmas. We got some more from the Crazy Bitch & Tiger. Mae Young made out with Johnny Damon. Somewhere, Jim Cornette just turned off his TV.

Match #5 – Sheamus vs. MVP
You know, it’s not a good sign when your champion comes out and gets NO REACTION! There was a funny sign in the crowd that said “Santa, give Sheamus a tan.” MVP got a little offense in before Sheamus hit me Razor’s Edge for the victory. Add that to the list of people Sheamus has beat: a guy who hangs with Goldust.
Winner: Sheamus

After the match, Super Cena donned a cape and flew to the ring. He ripped it off and said he came for his rematch against Sheamus for the title. Sheamus had other plans. He grabbed the mic and said ‘No bitch, who you think you talkin’ to? This ain’t money in the bank. We fight when I say we fight.” Ok, I lied. That would have been better. Sheamus left, then got back in the ring, then left again.

Backstage, Vince came in to tell Damon he had done a great job. He asked him what he would do about the Cena-Sheamus challenge. So, Damon said instead of giving the fans a quality main event, better than the shit planned, he’d make it for next week. Before Vince could leave, Damon asked him about Bret Hart hosting RAW.

Match #6 – The Miz vs. Santa-ino Clause
Santino came out dressed as Santa. He sang “Santino Clause is coming to town.” La de fucking dah! Miz clobbered Santino. It’s bad when the US champ gets more heat than the WWE champ. He hit the Stroke for the win.
Winner: The Miz

Afterwards, he stomped on Santino’s bag and left.

They recapped the Little People’s Court segments. All together, they wasted about 15 minutes of our lives recapping this crap.

Main Event Segment: Big Show, Jericho, Lil’ DX, DX
Big Show came out & said his wish will be granted by Santa. So Santa came out with the Bellas. He said he wanted Christ Jericho back. The Santa sounded a lot like Jericho. He said that yes, Jericho will be back on RAW next week. Horny came out and ripped off Jericho’s beard. Lil’ DX came out and attacked Jericho as Cole & King laughed some more, like Denis Leary was doing a comedy set. Show ripped a midget off and hit a sideslam before he tossed the little guy out. Hornswoggle then stood toe-to-toe with Jericho & kicked him in the shin. Big DX then came out and cleaned house. Trips said he wanted to squash him but HBK said the little guy was starting to grow on him. He asked Triple H if they could keep him. They named him the DX mascot & celebrated. If you’re not down with that, Horny says suck it. They did the pyro & everything as the show went off the air.

I give this RAW:
0 out of 4 ring posts

The Final Word:
Are you kidding me?

I realize they’ve got a month of build for the Royal Rumble. Even then, nobody will actually want to see the show. Why? Because they will have wasted all of their time with pointless shows like this. I’ll be amazed if this gets at least a 3.2 rating. I mean, this was horrible.

They did nothing in terms of storylines except for Cena.

I don’t care to see 6-man or 6-diva tag matches with pointless outcomes that won’t mean anything in the coming weeks. I don’t care to see Chris Masters destroy Carlito. I don’t care to see Santino get beaten down by The Miz. I don’t care to see Johnny Damon kiss Mae Young. I sure as hell don’t care to see a chick chasing a guy in a tiger suit because Vince wants to get off late at night when Linda’s asleep.

Before I hear the bitter crap, save it. If you liked that entire show, top to bottom, then you need to find another show to watch/like. If you like seeing little midgets in a court room with 40-yeard old men, then please take up Pokemon or some other game.

That show sucked, plain & simple. I feel for Paul. He’s got to take this show over in January while I step aside. If you honestly think the WWE product will get better because we’re changing blog writers, somebody needs to go upside your head with a glass jar.

I mean, seriously.

In any event, I’m going to enjoy this week with my family. I hope everybody is safe if you travel, especially on the east coast with all the snow. Make sure you enjoy your time with your family this year. Remember the reason for the season. If anybody tries to get you to go shopping on Saturday, STAY HOME! It’s gonna be crazy! Merry Christmas to all!

“RAW is Blogged” Power Rankings
1. The Undertaker
2. Christian
3. Randy Orton
4. Sheamus
5. DX
6. John Cena
7. Kofi Kingston
8. Batista
9. The Miz
10. Jeri-Show
Honorable Mention:
John Morrison, Mark Henry, Yoshi Tatsu

“RAW is Blogged” Match of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #2
Wrestlemania 24
World Heavyweight Championship
Edge vs. The Undertaker

“RAW is Blogged” YouTube Clip of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #2
Vince McMahon as the Higher Power – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Bd_8OVnzWg

RAW – Mondays at 9PM on USA Network

Royal Rumble – January 31st – 8PM – Only on PPV!

Welcome to the longest running blog on the WNW Blog Spot…RAW IS BLOGGED!!!

I promise not to Billy Gunn this blog.

Me has a new WWE Champion! Me name is Sheamus!

Yes, Sheamus has won the WWE Championship. He defeated John Cena last night at TLC in a Tables Match.

I’m thinking what you’re thinking probably…WHAT THE F*$%!?

Yes, I called for a new face to challenge John Cena for the WWE Championship. Yes, I was shocked when it was Sheamus who was the guy chosen. Let’s look at his credentials.

He beat Jamie Noble. Who hasn’t defeated Jamie Noble?

He beat Jerry Lawler. Again, who hasn’t beat Jerry Lawler? Oh yeah, Michael Cole hasn’t.

He beat up a time keeper. Well shit, that’s something not many people have done.

He beat Santino Marella. HELLO!? SANTINO!?

He won a break out battle royal. Ok, but who hasn’t won a battle royal? I guess we should give every swingin’ dick who wins a battle royal a title shot. Remember, there’s a lot of guys who don’t do anything and get a title shot.

Moving forward, I liked the idea of having a new face in the title picture. I just didn’t get why the hell it was Sheamus’ ugly mug.

Then the PPV arrives and he goes over & wins the WWE Championship. Are you kidding me? Really, this guy hasn’t done anything but become one of Triple H’s boys and he gets the title? Seriously?

I know people will claim I’m “bitter” as they’ve done for the 3 ½ years I’ve written for WNW. But can’t you see why I’m bitter? They push this guy to the moon who isn’t seen as a contender and give him the title. I’m supposed to be happy? HE HASN’T DONE ANYTHING! He beat a jobber, a mid-card guy, and a freakin’ announcer. Oh, he ran “rough-shod over ECW” which just buries ECW when the announcers talk about it.

Don’t get me wrong, he worked well. He pulled off his gimmick and heel presence very well. I just question the decision of putting the title on him this early.

After that debacle, not much else went on at the PPV except DX winning the tag titles finally. This was fine with me and I figured it was coming. I just hope…HOPE…they can feud with a younger team to give them a rub. No, not Legacy cause all they are is Orton’s bitches. Hart Dynasty is a good choice but they went over clean against them a few weeks ago. Cryme Tyme? Perhaps. Who knows.

In other news, Drew McIntyre also proved that kissing up to DX can get you a title. Undertaker retained, which was expected. I can’t believe Kofi didn’t go over but right now, he’s a bigger star for losing to Orton than Sheamus is for beating Cena.

Final Brand Blog Writers Challenge Standings:
Luke Parks (RAW): 3-4 at TLC, 46-50 overall
Paul Smith (ECW): 6-1 at TLC, 53-43 overall
Chris Jacks (Smackdown): 2-5 at TLC, 45-51 overall

Yes America, I failed you in winning the BBWC. Paul Smith proved that he can predict outcomes of pre-determined matches. I wish I had fared better in my final PPV but it wasn’t meant to be. Chris Jacks proved that even the best Jeff Hardy impersonators can’t predict matches. I proved that I can’t predict worth a piss despite my vast knowledge of the wrestling business. Hell, I started off 0-5 and managed to somehow claw my way back into second place. It was fun. I have enjoyed the time with my two colleagues in picking matches and talking about the event itself in the Live Blog.

RAW is Blogged:
RAW is LIVE from Corpus Christi, Texas for the 2009 Slammys with guest host Dennis Miller!

The Skinny: The 2009 Slammys are in the books and I will not lose another match until CM Punk becomes World Heavyweight Champion again! Ok, so I lied & I’m not John Cena.

They opened the show and said that “Superstar of the Year” would be determined by 3 matches. What a novel idea!

Opening Segment: Dennis Miller
Dennis Miller came out to a small ovation. He read from a script, which didn’t bother me because it was an award show setting. He did ok, telling a few jokes that not everybody got. He joked about politicians, likening George W. Bush & Dick Cheney to DX and Barack Obama to John Cena. Bush got cheered while Obama got booed. Hey, we’re in Texas, what did you expect? I kind of laughed when Obama got booed. He plugged his charity, USA Cares, and the Armed Forces. The military got a nice pop.

**Any comments degrading our men & women in uniform will be deleted and you will be banned.**

Moving forward, Miller brought out R-Truth & Jillian Hall

Slammy Award: Best Tag Team
Jillian sang “Whoop! There it is” by Tag Team, a song popular when I was in middle school. Jeri-Show ended up winning. Jericho stated that they would cash in their rematch clause later in the night.

Matt Striker was on commentary with Jerry Lawler & Michael “Vintage” Cole.

Match #1 – Ruthless Roundtable vs. Christian, Kane, The Great Khali
They recapped the problems the Roundtable had last week on ECW. Silly Billy Regal informed us that the Roundtable is on the same page. Translation: we’re about to have problems. Christian came out and said he found two guys to be his partners who had problems in the past. They turned out to be Kane & the Punjabi Playboy, Michael Cole’s words not mine, Great Khali. Kozlov and Khali started the match but that train wreck was soon derailed when Ezekiel Jackson came in. Christian got in and the tide turned in the heels favor. However, this was soon stopped as Regal got in, followed by Kane, who took control. Kane battled before tagging in Khali, who hit the Big Chop for the victory.
Winners: Great Khali, Kane, Christian

Miller came out and told some more jokes before introducing the General Managers from ECW & Smackdown, Tiffany from ECW and Teddy Long from Smackdown.

Slammy Award: Breakout Star of the Year
After doing my Excess awards for so many years, these fuckers definitely stole my ideas. The winner turned out to be me fellow Irishman, Sheamus. All the kids booed him when he came out. When you see little 10 year old kids booing a guy, you have to laugh. They got a “You Suck” chant going while Sheamus asked if they all took him seriously. Sheamus, I don’t know about everyone else but I answer no.

Match #2A – Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston
The reasoning for this match was Cody wanted to follow in his “leader’s” footsteps and beat Kofi. This wasn’t going on for long until DiBiase came in and nailed Kofi, giving him the win by DQ.
Winner: Kofi Kingston by DQ

Almost on cue, Evan Bourne came out and made the save. Meanwhile, Miller said he had just won an award for “Best Announcement by a Guest Host” and made the match into a tag team match. He then told Jeremy Piven & Al Sharpton to “suck it.” I laughed at that!

Match #2B – Legacy vs. Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne
There’s been some bad weather in my area the past few days and it continued somewhat during the match with the cable acting up. I did get back in time to see Kofi get thrown out and then Rhodes hit Dream Street on Bourne to get the win.
Winner: Legacy

Miller then came out and introduced Vickie Guerrero & Santino Marella.

Slammy Award: Shocker of the Year
Please save all of your sexual jokes concerning the shocker for another time. The winner ended up being the time CM Punk beat Jeff Hardy on Smackdown in a cage match that “retired” Hardy.

Match #3 – CM Punk vs. John Cena – Superstar of the Year First Round Match
Prior to the match, Punk cut another excellent promo that reminded me of his ROH days. I mean, this guy can cut the best “asshole, obnoxious, suck my d*ck” promos of anybody I know. Oh wait, I can act like that every day! Cena came out to a huge ovation. During this match, I kept hearing a noticeable scream from the crowd. Like, it seemed to be right by one of the microphones around ringside. You could pick it out from the crowd easily. However, Punk’s promo & this intro were longer than the match as he quickly locked in, then relocked in the STFU for the victory. WTF!?
Winner: John Cena

Post match, Cena got on the mic. He apologized to anybody he may have let down. The scream continued. He continued his fiery speech. He even pointed out a fan at ringside that must have had a sign or yelled something but Cena said he understood why the guy did what he did. He said he wouldn’t give up on the fans. He said his road to Wrestlemania started on RAW. He says he won’t lose another match until he’s champion again. Translation: I’m going on a run and won’t lose until I win the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania 26.

This reminded me of the speech Florida Gator Tim Tebow gave after a loss during the 2008 season. He vowed to work harder than anybody in the country and wouldn’t stop until the Gators won the national title. Sure enough, they won their remaining games, including the BCS National Championship. Now, I’m not saying they stole that idea. The average fan may not know where it came from except from John “Super” Cena. However, to someone like me and probably a lot of others who remember Tebow’s speech, they’re very similar.

Miller came out and introduced ‘The Show’ Triple H who responded by screwing up Miller’s name. Matt Striker was in full heel announcer mode. PLEASE PUT HIM ON RAW!

Slammy Award: Match of the Year
Triple H came out to give the award for Match of the Year. My vote was on HBK-Taker from WM25 while I figured the Cena lovers would want anything involving him to win. Sure enough, it was HBK-Taker that won the award. HBK came out and thanked everybody. The scream continued. He then got really serious and challenged Undertaker to go one more time at Wrestlemania.

Match #4 – The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton – Superstar of the Year First Round Match
This was a prototypical Undertaker match. Undertaker hit a Big Boot after Snake eyes, which gained a “VINTAGE” from Michael Cole. Striker called out Cole after ‘Taker hit a leg drop on the ring apron, asking him if he used “VINTAGE” more than once in a match and Cole said no. As he was on the outside, Legacy came down and distracted Undertaker. Orton hit an RKO and the ref counted to 10, leaving Undertaker outside and giving Orton the win.
Winner: Randy Orton

After the match, Legacy tried to get on Undertaker but he threw Rhodes & DiBiase out. Then, he chokeslammed Orton as that annoying scream continued.

Miller came out and said Vince gave him some comedy notes. This gained a few laughs from Cole & Lawler. Miller introduced Vince.

Slammy Award: Best RAW Guest Host
Vince said the guest host idea was his, as if we forget Donald Trump making the idea. He asked the crowd if they had passed away and said they were a lousy crowd. The winner turned out to be Bob Barker, who thanked everybody in a pre-taped spot. Vince then asked Miller who he wanted as a guest host and Miller said Bret Hart. Vince said no and Miller asked the crowd if they were interested & they cheered. Vince walked off and he seemed like he was really pissed but who knows.

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho visited Miller backstage. Miller said he was an “energy blackhole” and he represented a problem in society where spoiled punks think the world revolves around them. I can’t disagree with him there. I can’t stand trust-fund babies who think the world revolves around them.

Match #5 – Unified Tag Team Championship: DX © vs. Jeri-Show
Before the match could get going, Triple H pushed the ref, who called for the bell.
Winners: Jeri-Show by DQ

After the match, DX got some other Superstars dressed in DX gear to throw Jericho out. I don’t necessarily mind this but when it’s a title rematch & you pull it off like this, it feels too contrived.

Slammy Award: Extreme Moment of the Year
Carlito, Eve & Chris Masters came out to present. The winner turned out to be the time Jeff Hardy jumped off the huge ladder at Summerslam. Matt Hardy came out to accept, who had to deal with crap from Carlito. Masters ended up locking on the Master Lock and Hardy punched Carlito. Hardy & Masters shook hands to end the segment.

Match #6 – The Miz, Zack Ryder, Drew McIntyre vs. John Morrison, Yoshi Tatsu, Mark Henry
This was a quick match. I finally got to see John Morrison’s pyro on his entrance. Two thumbs up! Miz & Henry started it off. Like I said, it was quick as Yoshi hit a inziguri on Ryder, after his woo, woo, woo, to pick up the win. No heels attempted to break up the pin.
Winners: Yoshi, Morrison, Mark Henry

Match #7 – Team Mickie vs. Team Michelle
They’re smart, sexy, powerful, they’re Michael Cole’s tailors! Layla had trouble getting into the ring. This was pretty much pointless as two Divas did anything in their night gowns. I was more shocked that Michelle McCool didn’t try & find a way to incorporate an AJ Styles-like hoody in her entrance. Mickie looked awesome as she hit a DDT on Rosa for the win.
Winners: Team Mickie

Slammy Award: Diva of the Year
Goldust & MVP came out to present the award. Goldust made some jokes but ended up leaving. The winner was Maria. Everybody looked shocked as hell that she won, including Maria! The fucking scream continued! I know I wasn’t the only one that heard it. Batista came out, impersonating Kanye West I assume, and interrupted Maria’s speech. He was escorted out by two police officers. I had to laugh at this.

Miller came out and introduced Abraham Washington, Tony Atlas & Big Dick Johnson. Atlas laughed uncontrollably, almost like Michael Cole’s wife when they get ready to have sex. OHHH BURN! Lawler also laughed, surprise surprise.

Slammy Award: “Oh My” Moment
Because of political correctness in society, this name was changed from the “OH MY GOD” moment to the “OH MY” moment. What a bunch of crap. Michael Cole throwing up on Chris Jericho was the winner. Cole ran up the ramp like he had won the World Series. Like, he really acted like a complete dumbass. And I’m supposed to take him seriously as an announcer? He hugged Big Dick Johnson. He said that “slobberknocker” and “my God” are passé and it was the era of “VINTAGE!” He also said to forget “Boomer Sooner” it was time for “Hook’em Horns.” Hey bitch, in Corpus Christi, I don’t think they care about UT. Ladies & gentlemen, Michael Cole…bitch for life.

Miller came out and thanked everybody. He plugged his charity and said he was going to take his eyes out with a power tool after seeing Big Dick Johnson.

Meanwhile, DX was backstage. They did a product segment, plugging various items. HBK had a mock-Money in the Bank ring set up. Triple H fell over and destroyed it. Then, he brought out a DX Snuggie. If you’ve ever seen a Snuggie commercial, you need to YouTube that bitch it again. It’s become a big joke in my Sport Marketing class. I mean, seriously, it’s a joke. They sat down to watch the “History of the World Heavyweight Championship” DVD and the match involved Triple H beating down HBK. Hornswoggle showed up with gifts, which turned out to be WWE Shop gift cards. They went after him but he escaped. He stood in front of Triple H, who realized he was punching HBK. Triple H then left as Horny crotch-chopped in front of HBK.

You know, I laughed at that segment and thought it was funny. However, why do you go from having HBK act serious, trying to sell a potential match to him doing comedy bullshit?

Next week’s host would be Yankee Johnny Damon. As a Boston Red Sox fan, he can kiss my ass. I’m still not over him leaving Boston, just like I’m not over Peyton Manning getting screwed over for the Heisman. So yeah, I’m bitter about that shit!

Main Event – Superstar of the Year Finals: Randy Orton vs. John Cena
This was a match full of counters. Orton wore down Cena for most of the match. Cena had Orton up for the FU but Orton reversed into an RKO, which was blocked. Orton hit the DDT on the outside of the ring and seemed to bump his head. Inside the ring, he couldn’t get a pin. So, he went for the punt, which was blocked. Cena hit an FU for the win. Did you really think he’d lose after his speech earlier?
Winner: John Cena, YOUR SUPERSTAR OF THE CENTURY!!!

After the match, the damn scream continued.

I give this RAW:
0 out of 4 ring posts

The Final Word:
I gave this RAW a 0 out of 4 because it seemed to drag on, and on, and on. I can remember when they’d do 3-hour shows that seemed to flow and be quick. Maybe the Slammy segments made it boring, I’m not sure. However, I won’t miss doing 3-hour shows. This show sucked.

Elsewhere, they didn’t start building towards the Royal Rumble. I may have missed it but I don’t recall them plugging it at all. I’ve resorted to the fact they won’t build PPVs properly anymore until TNA becomes formidable competition.

If Cena losing the title is such a big deal, why not mention it more? Why not have Sheamus cut a longer promo, talking about the award?

Dennis Miller was fine in his role. He didn’t screw up too badly on stuff and was funny in some spots.

However, this felt like another throw-away show with no end goal except giving out some fake awards and putting over John Cena some more. “Oh Luke, you’re so bitter! I’ll be glad when you’re gone!”

Do you really think that me leaving will make RAW better? I doubt it too. They should have put Sheamus in a match against a formidable mid-card or lower-upper-card guy. He hasn’t beaten anybody really and his title win was somewhat flukish. Again, this show sucked.

“RAW is Blogged” Power Rankings
1. The Undertaker
2. Christian
3. Randy Orton +4
4. Sheamus +6
5. DX +4
6. John Cena -3
7. Kofi Kingston -3
8. Batista -3
9. The Miz -3
10. Jeri-Show -2
Honorable Mention:
John Morrison, Mark Henry, Yoshi Tatsu

“RAW is Blogged” Match of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #3
Unforgiven ‘06
World Heavyweight Championship – Tables, Ladders, & Chairs
John Cena vs. Edge

“RAW is Blogged” YouTube Clip of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #3
Shane McMahon “buys” WCW – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2adQoxTm-8w

RAW – Mondays at 9PM on USA Network

Royal Rumble – January 31st – 8PM – Only on PPV!

World Heavyweight Championship
Chair Match
The Undertaker © vs. Batista
Batista finally turned heel! I’ve been waiting for this since at least, well, since I started at WNW. I think it’s a great change of pace for Batista. You can only be a loveable monster for so long. He’s done a tremendous job against The Undertaker so far. This is probably the best thing on Smackdown right now. There’s a huge difference in RAW and Smackdown in that Smackdown actually has good storylines! I think it’s too early for Batista to win the title. Then again, this could be the perfect opportunity to take the title off ‘Taker and start the build for Wrestlemania. I’m guessing a Chair match is like Smackdown vs. RAW in the first guy to hit their opponent with a chair wins. Then again, they could go TNA and hang the chair up on a pole. You have to climb up to get the chair, then you can use it. I’m picking Undertaker to win and retain his title.
My Projected Winner: The Undertaker

WWE Championship
Table Match
John Cena © vs. Sheamus
After weeks, probably months, of griping about a new challenger in the main event scene, we finally got one. It wasn’t the one I wanted or expected. I thought there were more deserving guys like MVP who deserved a title shot. Sheamus came onto the scene having done nothing. I don’t really count work in ECW unless it involves the ECW title. However, he destroyed Jamie Noble & Jerry Lawler so why not give him a title shot!? What’s funny is they’ve already given this match result away so why talk any further?
My Projected Winner: John Cena

ECW Championship
Ladder Match
Christian © vs. Shelton Benjamin
Can you say…Match of the night? I’m shocked they even let ECW on the card. They treat ECW like the red-headed stepchild, no offense to you red-heads out there. It’s pathetic. ECW has bred some future stars. Zack Ryder has come on as of late. Tyler Reks has impressed me. Unlike RAW, ECW has developed guys rather than throwing them immediately into the spotlight like they did Sheamus. Now, with Christian & Shelton involved, this has the potential to be the Match of the Night. They can pull out a lot of stuff that would make everybody’s jaw drop. The rumors are growing that ECW will be remodeled in some manner to increase ratings. I’m not sure what they could do. I think it’s mainly the deal with SyFy that cripples them from being successful. Anyway, I think this would be a good time to transition to Shelton being a champion. He’s the guy I’ve wanted to be champion for so long. Christian needs to win Money in the Bank and Shelton needs a title. Make him a damn contender!
My Projected Winner: Shelton Benjamin

Unified Tag Team Championship
Tables, Ladders, & Chairs Match
Jeri-Show © vs. DX
This has been the main focus of RAW in the past few weeks. They’ve teased this match up for a while now and it’s finally taking place. There are two underlying storylines that could possibly start during this match. There’s a huge rumor that there will be an HBK-HHH match at Wrestlemania 26 in Phoenix. HBK is said to be on his last run as his body is taking a toll from the rigors of the WWE. Triple H is looking to turn heel again and make another run at the title. I honestly like heel Triple H better than face Triple H. On the other side, they’ve teased the break up of Jeri-Show for a few weeks. Big Show has come a long way in getting over as a tag team guy again. When they first started, I thought this would blow up in their face. But, Jericho & Show has taken the ball and run with it. Maybe it’s because Jericho is one of the best performers in the company right now. However, I think all good things are going to come to an end sooner or later. This is a TLC match. They’ve teased the fact that DX has never been tag champions. I honestly believe the time has come for them to win the titles but the taking the belts off Jeri-Show while they’re hot is a tall order. With a tough decision, I’m going with DX.
My Projected Winner: DX

Intercontinental Championship
John Morrison © vs. Drew McIntyre
This has become a hot feud over the past few weeks on Smackdown. I keep saying it but I’m continually impressed by John Morrison’s face run. I really hope he gets the Money in the Bank or something to put him over the top on the main event side on Smackdown. Now, Drew McIntyre hasn’t impressed me as much. I think he’s got a long way to go before he becomes a legitimate threat. I think winning the title here could do wonders for his career but I’m going with Morrison.
My Projected Winner: John Morrison

Women’s Championship
Michelle McCool © vs. Mickie James
Little AJ Styles is going to defend her title against “Piggy” James. I thought that angle and whole deal was pretty crappy. I don’t think Mickie will get the title here based on that Piggy crap. I can’t believe they’d do that to her. She’s one of the hottest Divas and isn’t boney looking. I guess I like mine thick haha.
My Projected Winner: Michelle McCool

Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston
Kofi Kingston has arrived. When I wanted someone elevated, Kofi was a good choice. I think he can go far if given the right stuff. So far, he’s been given the right stuff to succeed. Orton has also been good in a supportive role in helping Kofi get over. I think the rubber match is crucial for Kofi. He must win to ensure the fans take him seriously. If he loses, it could seem to be the same old crap; a guy gets a potential shot at glory only to have a wily veteran take him back down. That’s why Kofi must win. Kofi must get a huge push and at least challenge for the title in the coming year.
My Projected Winner: Kofi Kingston

The Final Word:
Well, there you have it. It’s a summation of the entire WWE year rolled into one event. We have a few fresh faces but a PPV that’s pretty much dominated by the same veterans.

I think the Kofi-Orton match is crucial because they need to push Kofi into the spotlight.

Sheamus-Cena is a no-brainer from the Tribute to the Troops spoilers and WWE showing a graphic with Cena holding the title. We can only hope that Sheamus isn’t treated like a complete joke.

On the tag side of things, I think they need to somehow push a newer team and let the mid-card guys have their day in the sun with the titles.

Morrison should continue his reign of awesomeness as well as Undertaker’s domination of Smackdown.

This concludes my last Excess blog for a while. This will be my first of many goodbyes over the next few weeks.

I want to thank all of the readers of Excess who have given me their thoughts on each PPV event. I have to say it has been fun over the past few years. Excess developed from a blog concerning Smackdown & ECW when I was the lone writer for WNW to a preview of WWE PPVs.

As I mentioned earlier, my favorite Excess had to be the one for Wrestlemania 24. The sheer emotion surrounding the event was enough to make anyone want to watch. I have to admit it has been somewhat disappointing over the past year when PPVs were treated as jokes with the lack of build.

I figure someone will point out the last sentence as more “bitterness” or something and they’ll ignore the rest of the stuff I’ve said.

I also want to thank Paul & Chris for the fun we’ve had doing the Live PPV Blog and the Brand Blog Writers Challenge. I’m sure Paul will come out as the winner as me & Chris could never get any momentum going to catch him. It’s kind of hard to predict an outcome that’s already been pre-determined by a writing crew!

Either way, I hope to be back in the future as Excess will remain my own personal column as Paul takes over RAW is Blogged. I hope you guys won’t miss me too much! Thanks for all of the great memories!

RAW – Mondays at 9PM on USA Network

TLC – December 13th – 8PM – Only on PPV!

Welcome to the longest running blog on the WNW Blog Spot…RAW IS BLOGGED!!!

I promise not to Billy Gunn this blog.

I didn’t want to lead with the death of Umaga but instead the current push to hire my replacement for when I step aside at the end of the year.

I’m amazed at the “lack of response” that the job opening to write RAW is Blogged had received. Richard Gray sent me an e-mail this morning (Monday) discussing the matter.

I’m simply amazed. Since I started writing for WNW, there’s been a constant stream, almost every week, of people telling me how to do my job, how they could do it better, how I shouldn’t even be allowed to post, how I should step aside, etc.

“Oh Luke, you’re so bitter! You act like writing this blog is a chore! If you hate it so much, why don’t you quit?”

Now, I am stepping aside as I said a few weeks ago. I understand the product isn’t at the level it was when I first started. As I told Richard, it’s just not fun anymore. I don’t enjoy the product.

What I can’t understand is after all these years of talking trash to me, nobody wanted to step up to the plate. Some of you may have indeed put your money where your mouth is and submitted an application to replace me as the writer of RAW is Blogged. I applaud you.

However, there is a certain group that hadn’t submitted their application & sample blog. You know who you are. You’ll probably submit a comment that I’ll delete, bashing me & my blog, telling me how I suck & you could do better. But now, when the time comes for you to step up to the plate, you’re scared or just too chicken to submit an application. It’s quite hilarious.

I’m sad to be leaving because I’ve enjoyed writing this blog for so long. I started in July 2006 and it’s been a wild ride. But, I’ll say my goodbyes later on.

My replacement will be named soon.

By now, everybody has heard the news about the passing of Umaga. My prayers & thoughts were with his family over the weekend. I was shocked to see the news on WNW’s page about the state he was found in. I checked throughout the day for the developments that were posted until the final word of his passing. I don’t want to dwell on the passing of Umaga but rather the circumstances surrounding it.

It seems almost every year, we are hearing of a professional wrestler that has lost his life at an early age. I wasn’t working for WNW during the time we lost Eddie Guerrero. I was however working during the time of the Chris Benoit incident.

Now, I’m not rehashing any of the details from the things that have happened. I am pissed at Vince McMahon for the culture that’s been created and continues to be fostered. This culture involves the necessary enhancement of a wrestler’s body so he can catch his break because McMahon is obsessed with big guys. The Wellness Policy is a joke.

Jeff Hardy has been caught multiple times and he’s a guy I want to clean his act up. Rey Mysterio was caught with painkillers because the toll of their in-ring work breaks bodies down. Chris Masters was caught and he had to get off the juice, shrinking his physique a great deal. Kurt Angle was released because of painkillers and other ailments.

Why?

If you’re not a big guy, you have a limited shot in making it in the WWE. Drug abuse is rampant among some companies.

Why must this continue? How many deaths will it take because a leader of the locker room or company finally puts their foot down and changes the culture? It can’t change overnight, I realize that. What will it take? Does a wrestler need to die in the ring during a live broadcast for it to change? My heartfelt condolences are with Umaga’s family.

On a brighter note, I guess if that’s a good transition, I really like the new RAW theme. I didn’t like it at first but now, it’s on my iPod and in my player in my TrailBlazer. I’m not a big Nickelback fan but I really like this song. It gets me fired up!

RAW is Blogged:
RAW is LIVE from Dallas, Texas with tonight’s guest host, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban!

The Skinny:
Mark Cuban became one of the better guest hosts and ended up through table!

Opening Segment: Mark Cuban
Mark Cuban came out to a nice pop, followed by a bigger one when he asks if there are any Mavs fans in the crowd. They put him over as a guy who sat at ringside/courtside instead of a luxury box despite being a billionaire. I guess we’ve got Dusty Rhodes in the house? He said later on, Sheamus & John Cena would have a showdown. Oh goody! Can they do a pose-down like Steiner & Triple H did one time? I miss those days. Not really but you know what I mean!

Match #1 – John Cena vs. Carlito
Carlito was essentially squashed in this match, making him look like a joke. I guess you can count attempting your finishing move as offense. Sheamus came down & distracted Cena. Cena reversed the Back Stabber into the FU for the win.
Winner: John Cena

The Slammys will be hosted next week by Dennis Miller. In all seriousness, that should be some funny stuff.

In-Ring Promo: The Legacy, Mark Cuban
Randy Orton & Friends came down to the ring. Orton wanted Cuban to lift his title ban but Cuban said no. He said later on, Orton would face Kofi Kingston. He then buried the WWE referees, saying they were worse than NBA referees. Well, I don’t see WWE referees getting busted for a gambling ring. Where the hell is Earl Hebner at? I miss the time when he was pissed at WCW’s Nick Patrick and they had referee brawls. Cody Rhodes challenged Cuban to a match but he declined.

Match #2 – Primo & Evan Bourne vs. The Legacy
Legacy worked over Primo for most of the match. I don’t understand the random pairing of guys but I guess they’re trying to revive the undercard tag team scene. Bourne got the hot tag but couldn’t produce for his team. DiBiase ended up hitting Dream Street for the victory.
Winner: The Legacy

After the match, Cuban got security to toss Legacy out of the arena.

Match #3 – Maryse vs. Gail Kim
Kelly was the special ring announcer for this match. The moves in this match were simple. Gail hit a few clotheslines. Maryse slapped at Gail and ran around. Then, with Maryse’s legs up on the ropes and the referee looking right at them, Maryse got the pin. Cuban might have been onto something when he said that WWE referees SUCK.
Winner: Maryse

Post match saw Maryse get into it with Kelly, who was saved by Melina. Maryse wanted to be announced as the next Diva’s Champion instead of the winner. When that didn’t work out, she shoved Kelly. Maryse is awesome.

Backstage, we got another comedy segment from DX & Hornswoggle. Apparently, DX has a lot of merchandise for sale, just in time for the Christmas season. Hornswoggle ended up taking out DX & a Christmas tree. Triple H said he was the gift that kept on giving.

Match #4 – Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston
Mark Cuban was the special referee for this match. Orton was out to take on Kofi. This was an exciting match. After many moves, Kofi missed a Trouble in Paradise and Orton turned it into a backbreaker. Orton then went for an RKO but Kofi turned it into a back slide for the victory. Cuban counted to 3 in the fastest count ever. I really like this feud. It’s getting Kofi up as a legitimate, believable contender. I think it’s the best thing going on RAW right now!
Winner: Kofi Kingston

After the match, Cuban announced that Kofi would face Orton at TLC in a rubber match. Orton took the news about as well as a guy who found out he was the father of the town whore’s kid.

Match #5 – United States Championship: The Miz © vs. Mark Henry
I felt for sure we’d get a squash match that would give Mark Henry the title. Instead, we saw a semi-squash match with Miz getting enough offense to be believable. He dove off the top rope, like last week, and countered from the World’s Strongest Slam into a DDT for the victory. LIKE OMG! MIZ WENT OVER! It’s about time. This was a good match considering who was involved.
Winner: The Miz

Match #6 – Hornswoggle & Eve vs. Jillian & Chavo Guerrero
Are you kidding me? People wonder why I’m frustrated with this show. Eve ended up splashing Jillian to pick up the win. If you want more in depth analysis, call Michael Cole.
Winner: Hornswoggle & Eve

After the match, Chris Masters came out and helped Eve. He locked the Master Lock on Chavo. Wow. Chris Masters as a face?

Main Event – Chris Jericho vs. DX
Prior to the match, Chris Jericho paid a small tribute to Umaga. He had on a black wristband, which is always a nice thing. He said that he’d stay on RAW as long as he wants because he & Show will beat DX on Sunday. The match itself sucked. It felt as though you knew nobody was going to win and they were just biding their time until the finish. Big Show came in and almost got nailed with a chair but he punched it into Triple H’s face. Show held a ladder against DX while Jericho hit multiple chair shots. After the pointless match, the post-match angle was actually good. Another good job by the shitty writing team.
Winner: No Contest

In-Ring Segment: Mark Cuban, Sheamus, John Cena
Then, the train wreck started. Cuban asked each of the two guys a few questions; why do you feel you will win? Are you concerned about competing in a table match? And do you have anything to say to your opponent? Who the fuck is writing these questions, Katie Couric? When Sheamus talked, I couldn’t help but laugh. It’s like the Lucky Charms guy has become a pro wrestler. He’s not believable. After answering “no comment” to the first two questions, Cena cut a long-ass promo on himself, closing with a sucking up to Sheamus. I mean, can somebody write him a new promo? All this led to the tables being overturned and Sheamus & Cena getting into a shoving match. Cuban stepped in and Sheamus pushed him down. As Cena checked on Cuban, he took a boot to the face. Sheamus then took the fight to Cuban. Cuban bowed up & pushed Sheamus. Sheamus then slammed Cuban through a table which got a major reaction from the crowd. Sheamus backed his way up the ramp as some of the Mavericks came over to help Cuban. Sheamus was about to attack again when Cena came up to help out. Sheamus left as the show went off the air.

I give this RAW:
2 out of 4 ring posts

The Final Word:
I’ll sound like a guy I know when I say this. They did some good stuff. They did some bad stuff.

They made their new, big, bad heel look like a bitch after the owner of a franchise got in his face.

Why the hell Hornswoggle & Chavo are still in angles is beyond me.

Cuban did well but he’s more of the heelish type.

They built towards the PPV pretty well but it doesn’t make me WANT to see the PPV.

“RAW is Blogged” Power Rankings
1. The Undertaker
2. Christian
3. John Cena
4. Kofi Kingston
5. Batista
6. The Miz
7. Randy Orton
8. Jeri-Show
9. DX
10. Sheamus
Honorable Mention:
John Morrison, Mark Henry

“RAW is Blogged” Match of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #4
Wrestlemania 23
World Heavyweight Championship
The Undertaker vs. Batista

“RAW is Blogged” YouTube Clip of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #4
Chris Jericho Debuts – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Lw98sEPLkI

RAW – Mondays at 9PM on USA Network

Tables, Ladders, & Chairs – December 13th – 8PM – Only on PPV!

Welcome to the longest running blog on the WNW Blog Spot…RAW IS BLOGGED!!!

I promise not to Billy Gunn this blog.

It was a crazy weekend. With Thanksgiving and nonstop college football, I really didn’t have an opportunity to write any pre-show thoughts.

Not to mention, some how I got a virus on my computer. I want to choke whoever created it & placed it in a file I downloaded for school. Now, because of whoever, I get a pop up every two minutes from ‘System Defender.’ It might be a good thing because I had been looking to buy a new laptop anyway. Oh well, let’s get on with the Little Man Show with MINI ME!

RAW is Blogged:
RAW is LIVE from Baltimore, Maryland with this week’s guest host: Verne Troyer!

The Skinny: The build towards “TLC” continues and Sheamus backed down from Cena!

Opening Segment: Jeri-Show, DX
Chris Jericho came out and said he & Show were there to clear up some rumors and to expose DX. Jericho said he & Show had never been tag champions before. Big Show said DX was a fraud and they couldn’t compare to Jeri-Show because of their lack of in-ring dominance. They continued rambling and Show said that his fist has knocked out some of the business’s best. Jericho continued talking before DX made their way out to the ring. Cole put them over saying they never backed down from challenges. We weren’t 10 minutes into the show before Cole was channeling his inter-Cena. Triple H started off by saying Jeri-Show was boring everybody to death. He said they were missing the point. Trips said that they were tag champs and nobody cared. Thataway to bury the title you’re competing for. He put over the fact they’ve been a part of every revolution in wrestling. Were they in WCW? He said they took life by the throat and took what they wanted. HBK said they’d make history in a few weeks. He continued and said there was an added bonus. Triple H said the bonus would be getting rid of Jericho from RAW. He said Jericho was a Smackdown star, he had been on Smackdown and the only reason he was on RAW was because of the titles. Well, at least they talked about the Brand Extension for a change and at least Michael Cole isn’t pointing it out every five seconds. Jericho said that if he left, the ratings would go in the toilet. Well….. Jericho said they won the titles on their first night while DX coasted on their reputation. They made a match between Jericho & Triple H. The loser faces the other team in a handicap match. Jericho said he was never leaving RAW.

They showed the footage from last week’s BIG win for the Indian Divas and Maryse’s SEXY return.

Match #1 – Melina & Gail Kim vs. Maryse & Jillian Hall
They’re smart, sexy, and powerful. They are the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers! Backstage, Josh Matthews caught up with Maryse and her thoughts on last week. How do you say it, sucky my d*cky? Oh, sorry about that. Maryse didn’t do the hair thing. Instead, she tagged in Jillian & did the hair thing while standing on the apron. Maryse taunted Melina during her time in the ring. This was somewhat sloppy, even Melina hitting a kick to Maryse’s side but Cole thought it was her head. Maryse hit her Hair Plant DDT for the win as Gail Kim looked on.
Winners: Maryse & Jillian Hall

Afterwards, King & Cole were shocked over the Divas match but managed to regain their composure enough to put over Sheamus as a “threat” since his debut. Ok, does everybody see why I can’t stand this show? Sheamus beat up Jamie Noble, Jerry Lawler, and lucked up & won a battle royal. How the fuck is that making an impact and being a threat?

Match #2 – Sheamus vs. Santino Marella
What’s even funnier is when Sheamus was introduced, he got no reaction. Sheamus got on the microphone and said after he beats Cena, Cena will take him seriously. The crowd booed him but I guess they got coached to do this. His opponent was Santino. Wow. King didn’t even realize they were going to have a match DESPITE there being a referee in the ring. Cole said Sheamus had been running through the RAW roster. See what I mean? 3 guys and he’s running through the roster? Santino asked Sheamus if he was overlooking him and why he wasn’t talking about him. Santino said Sheamus must be jealous because he had skin pigmentation unlike Sheamus. Santino said he must be mad because he was after “me Lucky Charms.” Santino called him “Lamus” which resulted in a beat down. He hit the bicycle kick and the Razor’s Edge. Sheamus then pulled out a table and put Santino through it. This gained some heat finally but I don’t think for the right reasons. I don’t think that was an actual match.
Winner: Sheamus

Backstage, Jeri-Show was walking when they passed Verne Troyer, who was on the phone. They did the size differential which Vince loves. Jericho started trying to get Troyer’s attention and Troyer told him to hold that thought.

They had Troyer sitting on a stool for his segment. He stumbled his way through his lines before he laid the law down on The Miz. This brought out The Miz. Miz started doing a bunch of Austin Powers stuff, dubbing Troyer “Mini-Miz.” Mark Henry came out to help Troyer, who was threatened by Miz in being kicked down to the ring. Miz talked about how boring Mark Henry was. Troyer then announced that Miz would face Mark Henry.

They plugged an edition of WWE Magazine, dubbed “Tomorrow’s Champions.” Wow. Maybe they won’t bury ‘Tomorrow’s Champions.’

Match #3 – Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton
As Kofi was making his way down to the ring, he was attacked by Cody Rhodes. The referee asked Kofi is he was alright & if he wanted the match. Just once, I wish they’d turn and be say “yeah, I’m fucking fantastic. I just got my ass kicked and you think I’m alright? How would you feel if someone beat your ass? Would you be alright?” As Orton’s music hit, Ted DiBiase came out and attacked Kingston. And we’re supposed to believe those two cronies are tomorrow’s champions? The ref against asked if Kofi was alright and Kofi said he was. Orton finally came down to the ring to start the match. After Orton beat on Kofi some, Kofi attempted a come back that was stopped short with an RKO for the win. That wasn’t a bad thing. They showed Kofi would fight no matter what and Orton only got the win because of all the outside interference. Good segment & match.
Winner: Randy Orton

Afterwards, Orton did some more work on Kofi and got a “Randy Sucks” chant from the kids in attendance.

Backstage, Troyer & MVP were talking noise while Mark Henry paced. Jillian came in & sang while Mark Henry danced. Henry ended up falling on Jillian. Troyer said she might be dead and continued playing Smackdown vs. RAW.

Elsewhere, Cena pulled up in a good looking Ford Mustang.

In-Ring Segment: John Cena, Carlito, Sheamus
They still love Cena in Baltimore as he got a huge ovation when he came out. He talked about last week & Sheamus and tonight, they go to war. He said he’d defend the title against Sheamus later in the evening. If you’ve seen one intense Cena promo, you’ve seen them all. This gained a “CENA” chant from the kids in attendance. Instead of Sheamus, Carlito came out. Carlito said he wasn’t Sheamus & didn’t like him. He said Sheamus represented a lot of guys in the back who hope Cena loses. He said people were tired of Cena hogging the spotlight. Cena said Carlito’s mouth was going to back him into a fight he couldn’t get out of. Cena told Carlito to step up and he would unleash hell on him. Cena said told Carlito to do something. Before Carlito could spit his apple in Cena’s face, he got FUed & tossed out of the ring. Sheamus came out and Cena told him if he wanted some, come get some. Sheamus backed out and left.

Match #4 – The Miz vs. Mark Henry
Troyer was sitting on his stool in a suit. He introduced his two “homies” MVP and Mark Henry. MVP said they were going to make history; Mark Henry was going to get on the mic. Henry then started rapping. He wasn’t too bad but I nearly hurled. Miz had plenty of offense but Henry caught him and hit a World’s Strongest Slam for the win. Apparently, that puts Mark Henry in the US title hunt. At least he did something to deserve a shot!
Winner: Mark Henry

Afterwards, Troyer wanted to celebrate. So, the Bellas, Eve, and Kelly Kelly all came out to dance.

Mark Cuban will be running the show next week. I used to like him but I don’t anymore.

And while we’re talking about not liking stuff, I think Twilight sucks.

Elsewhere, DX was talking backstage about their Little People’s Court. Hornswoggle walked in talking “leprechaun” about DX & their court appearance. Troyer said Horny needed to sue them for everything they’ve got. Yippee!

Main Event: Chris Jericho vs. Triple H
When you hear DX’s theme, do you get the same urge I do to do a crotch chop & skip around like HBK? HBK joined Cole & King on commentary during the match. As the match started, Big Show’s music hit and he distracted Triple H as they had the first commercial. The Big Show ended up on commentary too. Big Show punched Triple H and voluntarily left ring side. HBK hit Sweet Chin Music on Jericho and got tossed from ring side. Jericho went for the Code Breaker, but Triple H countered into the Pedigree. Jericho blocked and into the Walls but Triple H blocked and got the win by roll up.
Winner: Triple H

Next week, it will be Jericho against DX in a handicap match. HBK got on the mic and said next week was Jericho’s last night on RAW.

I give this RAW:
3 out of 4 ring posts

The Final Word:
I enjoyed this episode of RAW. I felt like the built towards the PPV in a positive way.

Verne Troyer was ok in his role as guest host. He’s not a draw like Shaq but he was good enough to not make RAW suck.

I honestly don’t have many complaints. I thought the rapping from Mark Henry could have gone by the way side but other than that, it was a fine show.

“RAW is Blogged” Power Rankings
1. The Undertaker
2. Christian
3. John Cena
4. Kofi Kingston
5. Batista +1
6. The Miz -1
7. Randy Orton +1
8. Jeri-Show -1
9. DX
10. Sheamus
Honorable Mention:
John Morrison, Mark Henry

“RAW is Blogged” Match of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #5
Wrestlemania 15
WWE Championship
The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin

“RAW is Blogged” YouTube Clip of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #5
Austin & Booker T fight in a Super Market – http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ZxqhCumGJs

RAW – Mondays at 9PM on USA Network

Tables, Ladders, & Chairs – December 13th – 8PM – Only on PPV!

I promise not to Billy Gunn this blog.

Survivor Series is in the books and by God, it delivered.

The title matches were pretty good. I must say they delivered in the WWE Championship match.

The team matches were fine. I was surprised Miz’s team went over but oh well. Kofi got a huge rub after being the lone survivor left for his team.

The Rey-Batista match was as good as it could be. I just hope this is it for them and they don’t rehash it when Rey returns.

Brand Blog Writers Challenge:
Luke Parks (RAW): 4-2 at Survivor Series, 43-46 overall
Paul Smith (ECW): 4-2 at Survivor Series, 47-42 overall
Chris Jacks (Smackdown): 4-2 at Survivor Series, 43-46 overall

As you can see, we all did well. I think Paul finally wrapped up the crown unless I pick every match opposite of him at the last PPV and get them all right. Me & Chris are just battling for 2nd place now!

Since this is a 3-hour edition of RAW, let’s get right to it!

RAW is Blogged:
RAW is LIVE from Hershey, Pennsylvania with tonight’s guest host, former Minnesota Governor, Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura!

The Skinny:
The call to elevate talent was finally answered but it wasn’t who we all were hoping for!

Opening Segment: Randy Orton, Jesse Ventura
Orton came our complaining about wanting another title shot. Ventura made his way out to a nice reception. He said he liked Orton’s style but he wanted to bring something new to the WWE. He said he noticed it was always the same guys getting the title shots. Really Governor? You noticed that too? He said we would have a series of matches between guys who had never been world champion before. The winners would go on to a Battle Royal to determine the new #1 Contender. Ventura was pretty good in his opening segment.

Match #1 – Breakthrough Rumble Qualifier: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler
Kofi Kingston came out to face Dolph Ziggler. Apparently, these matches would be interbrand matches between never-before-world-champions. Ziggler handled most of the action until Kofi made a believable comeback. He went for Trouble in Paradise & missed. I looked down & when I looked up, he had hit it to get the pin.
Winner: Kofi Kingston

Miz was backstage and said people should be grateful to him. Just think ladies & gentlemen. This guy is with Maryse. Lucky bastard.

Match #2 – Breakthrough Rumble Qualifier: Sheamus vs. Finlay
Sheamus & Jerry Lawler are gonna throw down sooner or later. Finlay came out. They brawled for a little bit and Sheamus hit the Razor’s Edge for the pin.
Winner: Sheamus

Post match, Sheamus attacked Finlay and knocked him into the crowd.

Elsewhere, Teddy Long, Vickie Guerrero & Eric Escobar were sharing a Thanksgiving meal. Escobar prevented Teddy from throwing mashed potatoes into Vickie’s face. Is it possible for Vickie to have an angle where she isn’t messing around with a guy.

They plugged Ventura’s conspiracy show. I don’t care what evidence he says he’s got. Most of the people that love conspiracy theories have no life. Sorry if I just offended somebody.

Orton wanted to be in the battle royal. Ventura put him over but said he wouldn’t go back on his decision.

Match #3 – CM Punk vs. Randy Orton
Prior to the match, Punk cut a golden, ROH-esque promo about the Thanksgiving holidays. He talked about how he was drug free, alcohol free, and better than you. I loved this shit. He got in on the Thanksgiving deal, telling people they’d eat too much, take some drugs, then eat some more. It was golden! He even called Cena a turkey. As Cena was prancing around, Punk threw his shirt at Cena. I figured Cena would pick it up, fold it up, and hand it back to Punk, being the squeaky clean guy he is. Instead, he just set it on the ring apron. Way to go Cena, I still hate you. This was a good match. Punk worked slowly but methodically in getting his offense on Cena. Punk & Cena represent the same thing; squeaky clean role models, whom you should follow. However, Punk gets booed because he says he’s better than you. Cena gets cheered because he’s better than everybody in the company. Punk hit a number of moves before Cena hulked up, hit the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and made it seem like we were almost done. He got Punk up into the FU, which got reversed into the GTS which got reversed into the STFU. I felt for sure Punk was going to tap, further crushing my love for him. But, he didn’t and missed a splash in the corner. Then, Cena got him up and hit a Super FU for the win. King claimed he had never seen that before which is complete bullshit cause Cena has done it a number of other times. That’s just further evidence that the WWE doesn’t plan for or remember the big picture. Watching Punk get beat by Cena was like finding out Santa Claus isn’t real. Sorry to spoil it for the 3 of you that still believe!
Winner: John Cena

Meanwhile backstage, Ventura insulted Vince & the WWE. He then said he wanted Vince to come back as an announcer and announce one last match with him. He had an outfit & everything.

Match #4 – Breakthrough Rumble Qualifier: Chavo Guerrero, Jack Swagger, & Chris Masters vs. MVP, Mark Henry, & R-Truth
It seemed like they were pressed for time. I guess because they had a bunch of stupid segments they felt they needed to cram this match full of guys. And on top of that, the ECW title isn’t considered a big deal anymore. I think we should start a petition to have it rechristened the European Championship. Remember it? Had all the flags of the different European countries. Anyway, this was an all-over-the-place brawl. Truth hit a flying forearm to get the victory for his team. Poor Swagger.
Winners: MVP, Mark Henry, & R-Truth

Meanwhile, Triple H & HBK had a funny segment, bickering about Survivor Series. HBK said he figured he’d get Pedigreed first and said if it made Trips feel any better, he was aiming for Cena when he hit him with Sweet Chin Music. Then it all came to a crashing end when DX was served by the guy who played Kurt Angle a few years ago. They’re being sued by Hornswoggle.

Match #5 – Breakthrough Rumble Qualifier: Evan Bourne vs. Randy Orton
Prior to this match, Orton came out & jumped Primo from behind and took his spot in the match, thanks to Ventura. Seriously, Primo? That’s one reason I hate the Royal Rumble are the guys that you & I both know have no shot in hell of winning. Orton made quick work of Bourne. I thought they’d make an effort in getting Bourne over but his roller coaster ride on RAW continues.
Winner: Randy Orton

They aired the “The Marine 2” trailer. I don’t know what it is about WWE but their trailers for the movies don’t seem to make sense. It’s like they don’t put forth the most important details of the story to get you to want to watch the movie. I mean, Ted is still a face so who will support a movie of a heel?

Match #6 – Mayflower Melee: Pilgrims vs. Indians
You have got to be kidding me. The pilgrims were the heels; Michelle McCool, Jillian Hall, and Layla while the Indians were the faces; Mickie James, Melina, and Kelly Kelly. The Gobbledly Gooker was introduced as the guest time keeper. What did I do to deserve this? Apparently, Michelle “Styles” McCool was thinking the same thing. She got on the mic before the match and complained about having to do this. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought it was a shoot. There wasn’t much action as Melina & Jillian did most of the work. Michelle & Layla ended up walking out on Jillian while Melina got the win. Listen, they need to cut this Indian bullshit out. They’re Native Americans!
Winners: Indians

After the match, King got in the ring and did an interview with the winning team, minus Mickie & Kelly. The Gooker removed its head to reveal MARYSE! She then beat down Melina. She took off her costume to reveal her sexy body. She seemed to have a little trouble with the legs & shoes but that was worth the wait. She did her “piss off” hand stuff to King and the crowd, plus the ultra-sexy hair flip stuff. Wow.

Match #7 – DX vs. The Hart Dynasty
DX being sued by Hornswoggle next week. Great. As if my life couldn’t get any better, I get to deal with that. The Harts did most of the work at the early portion of the match. DH Smith had Triple H up but got a Sweet Chin Music. Then, Triple H Pedigreed Tyson Kidd to get the win. So, instead of putting over future stars in some capacity other than a clean win, they bury HD. I’ll be glad when I’m done covering RAW because they continue to do stupid shit.
Winners: DX

After the match, Chris Jericho came out to announce that DX would face Jeri-Show for the “undisputed” tag team championships. They bantered back & forth, with DX insinuating Big Show was at the chocolate factory, and then HBK said they’d face Jeri-Show for the “united” tag team championships. Jericho ended up walking out on the segment after complaining about DX’s coolness.

It may be small but I have a slight problem with 2-3 main event guys screwing up the name of the titles they’ll be fighting for. It was bad enough having the guest host fuck it up when talking about what the winner of the Breakthrough Battle Royal would fight for. But Jericho & HBK? Are you serious? Yes, again, I realize it’s a small tidbit but it just shows the lack of “give a damn” on the part of the people involved.

In-Ring Segment: Batista, Kane
Rey Mysterio’s music hit and Michael Cole said they were surprised to hear it. Well, didn’t they just show Batista coming to the ring & Cole said he’d explain his destruction of Rey? Michael Cole needs to go. Batista said Rey would be spending Thanksgiving in a hospital bed. He said no one will disrespect him and he’s putting everyone on notice. He said if a Smackdown guy won the Breakthrough Battle Royal, he would take them out. This brought out Kane who challenged Batista to make an example out of him. Batista, who I noticed has a nose stone now, walked away.

Match #8 – Breakthrough Rumble Qualifier: Cryme Tyme vs. Legacy
They worked over JTG until Shad got in. He gave DiBiase a powerbomb which led to Rhodes making the save. DiBiase then got the pin for his team. It’s a shame we can’t have a good tag team title picture with these quality teams around.
Winners: Legacy

They showed a graphic of all the guys involved in the match. Besides only 1 guy from Smackdown, the only believable guy on there was Kofi.

Backstage, Gail Kim was about to say what she was thankful for before Alicia Fox interrupted her. They threatened each other with pies before Santino Marella came up. He said they belonged in a kitchen, which resulted in him getting pied. Then, the Bellas came up and he said they too belonged in a kitchen which got him more pies. Then, he said Eve could wipe off his face, which got him another pie. Then, Vickie Guerrero came up and thought she was going to pie Santino. However, he threw his arms up, which sent the pie into Vickie’s face.

Main Event: Breakthrough Battle Royal for a World Heavyweight/WWE Championship Match
Vince & Jesse were back on commentary for the match. I really enjoyed them in this role. Vince was his old self again while Jesse called out strategies & rules. Maybe Vince should let his current guys do that. MATT STRIKER FOR RAW ANNOUNCER! Orton stood outside for most of the match. It wasn’t much to it. If you’ve seen a battle royal, you’ve seen them all. Kofi eliminated Orton, who seethed outside. When Kofi turned around, Sheamus sent him to the outside to get the win. Seriously?
Winner: Sheamus

In-Ring Segment: Sheamus, Jesse Ventura, John Cena
When they started off, Cena treated Sheamus as a joke. He said usually when he got a new opponent, they were a future Hall of Famer. Way to bury the talent there Cena! Cena then highlighted his career in screaming man fashion that’s made me want to punch him in the face. They signed the contract and Jesse said there’s a conspiracy to keep the title on Cena. He said the higher ups didn’t want a revolutionary as a champion. I guess Jeff Hardy was normal? He complained about never getting a title shot. Sheamus then nailed Cena, got him up, and power slammed him through the table. Ventura then said the match would be a Tables Match. Seeing as how we haven’t had a Tables Match in a while, they might want to explain the rules to the little kids.

I give this RAW:
2 out of 4 ring posts

The Final Word:
Are you kidding me?
I liked this show to start off with. But, are you kidding me?

We want a fresh main event picture. Hell, even Ventura mentioned the stale crap at the start of the show. They’ve been building Kofi up the past few weeks, which led me to believe Kofi was finally going to arrive.

So who do they give us? Sheamus. Sheamus. Me Lucky fucking Charms. Seriously, Sheamus? It’s like having a hot chick at the bar (the potential for a fresh main event). She’s looking good. Things are going well so you decide to make your move (starting a tournament with people that haven’t been champion). Luckily, she agrees to go back to your place (Kofi getting into the battle royal). The pace is picking up and you think it’s your time to get lucky (Kofi eliminating Orton). She’s got a nice rack and you think it’s your time to score with some big knockers. Then, you get her bra off and find out it was a push up, that she has a little bitty rack (Sheamus winning). That’s pretty much how I felt when Sheamus won.

Overall, the show was decent. They got me excited enough to enjoy the show because there was a chance to get a fresh main event picture, minus the guy they put in there. They went ahead & started building for TLC which is good.

Next week, Mini Me is the guest host. They’re doing a court deal with DX & Hornswoggle. I hate this expression but FML!

“RAW is Blogged” Power Rankings
1. The Undertaker
2. Christian
3. John Cena +1
4. Kofi Kingston +2
5. The Miz
6. Batista NEW
7. Jeri-Show -4
8. Randy Orton -3
9. DX -1
10. Sheamus NEW
Honorable Mention:
John Morrison, Drew McIntyre

“RAW is Blogged” Match of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #6
Wrestlemania 19
WWE Championship
Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

“RAW is Blogged” YouTube Clip of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #6
Stone Cold Drives the Zamboni – http://youtube.com/watch?v=HAgZDZWwgRI

RAW – Mondays at 9PM on USA Network

TLC – December 13th – 8PM – Only on PPV!

Excess returns for the next WWE PPV, Survivor Series. This annual spectacle features team matches with random Superstars. This year, we’ve got two title matches added in the mix and a battle between friends. I’m trying to come from behind & win the Brand Blog Writers Challenge so let’s get to the card!

World Heavyweight Championship
Triple Threat Match
The Undertaker © vs. The Big Show vs. Chris Jericho
I think it’s weird they decided to put the Unified Tag Team Champions into the main title match for the Smackdown side of things. But then again, this is the WWE and what else is new? I think Undertaker’s body is breaking down and it’s only a matter of time before he calls it quits, say this upcoming Wrestlemania. I don’t look for them to put the title on Big Show or Jericho for the time being considering they’re the tag champs. I look for the story of the match to be Jericho & Show try to up-one each other and Undertaker takes advantage to retain the title.
My Projected Winner: The Undertaker

WWE Championship
Triple Threat Match
John Cena © vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels
On any given day, this would be a dream match to most people. However, to this writer, it sucks. The way they built this match was horrible. Triple H and HBK were named the #1 Contender’s, so they got put in the match. Instead of building the match, it was a comedy skit gone badly as Cena & DX messed around with Hornswoggle for the entire phase. I mean, are you kidding me? This is how the WWE Championship match is built up these days? I’d almost rather watch another pole match from TNA rather than this shit. I’m picking Cena but not because I want to. I look for the Triple H-HBK Wrestlemania match be built up from here.
My Projected Winner: John Cena

Survivor Series Elimination Match
Team Kingston: Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Christian
vs.
Team Orton: Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, CM Punk, William Regal
This team match probably has the biggest star power in it. Starting with Team Orton, Randy Orton is a former WWE Champion. He’s got the most star power in the match. Continuing on Team Orton, there’s Legacy. These guys have come a long way but their stock has gone down. I wonder why they don’t give these guys a push to the moon, complete with the tag titles, and make them unstoppable. Instead, they go between being contenders and Orton’s lackies. The heel turn of DiBiase has been pushed back but I wouldn’t be shocked if they teased it more here. Continuing, CM Punk is the damn man. I think everybody knows I like Punk and think he is a huge draw. He’s come down a little bit since his last run with the title, which was a lot better than his first run. I think he’s got star potential. William Regal is a proven veteran. I think he deserves a run with the ECW title and perhaps a run with the World title before his career ends. Moving forward, Team Kingston is a nice mix. Kofi has really impressed me over the past few weeks. It’s about time he became a serious contender rather than a goofy mid-card guy. MVP & Mark Henry are doing so-so after their pairing. I felt sure they’d get a title run sooner or later. I haven’t seen much of R-Truth’s work on Smackdown. I hear it’s been good but the stuff I saw was decent. Christian is the best worked in the WWE right now. Why he hasn’t been moved to a main brand and given a push is stupid, right up there with Vince’s obsession with burying fake characters, i.e. the owner of the Nuggets. In reality, I think this match could continue Kingston’s push. To make it a better though, I think Orton needs to go over in a devious fashion. Kingston has gotten the better of Orton over the past few weeks and if he doesn’t go over here, it will make the feud better. So, I’m going with Team Orton.
My Projected Winner: Team Orton

Survivor Series Elimination Match
Team Morrison: John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay
vs.
Team Miz: The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger
This is another match with exciting future main event guys in it. I can say without question, John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Jack Swagger and Shelton Benjamin all have main event written all over them. Hardy & Benjamin are two I wish would catch their break sometime soon. Finlay is just there to make sure people don’t screw up. McIntyre, Sheamus & Dolph don’t impress me much. Bourne & Miz seem to be solid mid-card guys with a Mysterio-like main event run. I think that Team Morrison has too much potential to not go over in this match. Then again, the team matches are about like predicting the weather; you might get them right, then you might not despite the rumors coming out of creative meetings. I don’t think Team Miz is ready to go over just yet.
My Projected Winner: Team Morrison

Diva Survivor Series Elimination Match
Team Mickie: Mickie James, Eve, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Gail Kim
vs.
Team Michelle: Michelle McCool, Jillian Hall, Beth Phoenix, Layla, Alicia Fox
Does anybody really care about this match? These Divas have changed so many times over the past few months that you would almost believe it was a Smackdown vs. RAW match instead of heel-face. Put them in bikinis and then I might care. Put them in lingerie and I’m game. Hell, put them in skimpy Santa costumes and my interest is peaked. By a toss of a coin, I’m going Team Mickie.
My Projected Winner: Team Mickie

Batista vs. Rey Mysterio
Thank God for a Batista heel turn. I know he’s been asking for this for so many months. I’ve been asking for this since about 2006, when I started at WNW. Batista and Mysterio have built up a huge friendship angle that it’s actually refreshing instead of being repetitive. The injuries to Mysterio’s knees tend to lead me to picking Batista. I wouldn’t bet on them putting Mysterio over the first time if they wanted to continue this feud. If Batista crushes Mysterio, why continue it? Like I said, with Mysterio’s knees bothering him like they are, I doubt he’ll go over.
My Projected Winner: Batista

The Final Word:
Well folks, once again, another WWE PPV with lackluster build. I don’t know what it will take for the WWE to actually build its PPV. A lot of people said they enjoyed RAW this past Monday while I said I hated it. What’s more important; one-show TV ratings or PPV buys? Is the goal to have good weekly TV shows that people somewhat like or PPV events that bring in the money? Look at UFC.

UFC has weekly TV programs but their main focus isn’t selling the TV program. Their main focus is selling the PPV event. They build and advertise the event regardless of who is fighting. I know UFC and WWE are totally different animals but their goal should be the same; sell the PPV.

I haven’t cared much for Survivor Series. I loved it when there were team matches that meant something, whether it was inter-brand or WWE-Alliance. It felt more special when there was something on the line. Now, it seems like they don’t care and they know people will be sucked into buying the events.

I think the title matches can deliver. I don’t expect a lot out of the team matches but that’s not saying anything. Batista-Mysterio could be good if booked properly and not booked like a Cena-overcoming-the-odds deal.

RAW – Mondays at 9PM on USA Network

Survivor Series – November 22 – 8PM – Only on PPV!

Welcome to the longest running blog on the WNW Blog Spot…RAW IS BLOGGED!!!

I promise not to Billy Gunn this blog.

The news has been coming out that Brock Lesnar’s career in the UFC is in jeopardy due to some ailments he’s been suffering from for the past few weeks/months. I wanted to take time out to put this in perspective.

Lesnar has become a huge draw for UFC. His fight with Frank Mir drew over 1.5 million buys on PPV. His debut drew 600,000. His second fight against Heath Herring drew 625,000 and his title fight against Randy Couture scored 920,000 buys. To say this guy is a big deal is an understatement.

I won’t get into the speculation of what Lesnar has. It could be anything but I’m not a doctor. They’ve said that it’s his intestines but again, I won’t speculate.

This is a huge deal. Lesnar is a bigger star than John Cena. This story is similar to if Cena were to get hurt and maybe jeopardize his career. We all know that could lose the WWE millions of dollars. Similar to Cena, Lesnar going out, because he’s a big enough star, could lose the UFC millions.

In other news, AJ Styles has retained the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. Based on what I’ve seen from the spoilers & reports, TNA is the same crap since Hogan & Bischoff’s arrival. Now, I hope they were just letting the stuff run its course and are going to have a restart at this week’s tapings. I figure that Turning Point was Russo’s last hoo-rah and the Hogan-Bischoff Era starts this week. If they don’t pick it up, when I stop writing at the end of the year, I doubt I watch wrestling period.

RAW is Blogged:
RAW is LIVE from New York City at Madison Square Garden, the Mecca of Sports Entertainment. Tonight’s guest host is WWE Hall of Famer, the Hot Rod, Rowdy Roddy Piper!

The Skinny: Try telling the WWE they have a PPV this weekend. It won’t matter.

Opening Segment: Rowdy Roddy Piper, Iron Sheik, Bella Twins
RAW opened up backstage with Piper’s Pit with Piper & Luis Something who has been on VH1 and in some movies. Piper talked about the Iron Chef and the Iron Sheik came in with the Bellas. It was supposed to be a Saturday Night Live deal because they did “Live from New York, it’s Monday Night RAW.” Um, ok.

We got the new theme song from Nickelback and new graphics for RAW. I’ll be honest, I’m a nerd when it comes to graphics. I like watching sports and their graphic changes. Like ESPN’s new BottomLine, I love it. When CBS changed their graphics for NFL games, I thought it was cool. I wish Fox had kept their “Fox Box” instead of the little upper lefthand box they use now. Anyways, the new theme was ok. It’s something I haven’t heard from Nickelback and I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not a Nickelback fan except for a couple of songs.

Match #1 – United States Championship: The Miz © vs. MVP
Miz complained that he hadn’t said one word and everybody already hated him. He mentioned the Yankees, which got a mixed reaction presumably because there are probably Mets fans in the crowd. He said they didn’t earn the World Series title, they bought it. Again, the Mets tried that same process but it didn’t work. He said that everybody hated New York and their sports teams. A “Let’s Go Yankees” chant started up. He said he didn’t buy his US title but he earned it. The crowd was hot as they reacted to everything the Miz had to say. MVP, with a Yankees hat on, would be his opponent. What exactly did MVP do to deserve this title shot? They showed Sherri Shepherd (that’s her name right?) at ringside. MVP dominated most of the match. Things were going well until he tried the Playmaker. Miz reversed this but not for long as MVP got back in control for a little bit. Miz then hit the Stroke for the victory. Well, it’s safe to say that what MVP had built up just went out the window.
Winner: The Miz

Match #2 – Chavo Guerrero vs. Santino Marella
Santino came out in a New York Rangers jersey. That’s smart considering the Rangers play in the Garden. He took that off and revealed a Giants jersey, which got boos. He took the Giants jersey off to reveal a Knicks jersey, which got even more boos. Then, he took that off to reveal a Jets jersey, which didn’t catch as many boos. Then, he revealed a Mets jersey, which split the crowd even more. After that, he showed off a Phillies jersey, which caught boos. Finally, he revealed a Yankees jersey, which seemed to get the most cheers. Chavo did most of the work until Hornswoggle came out and distracted Chavo, giving Santino the win. I don’t like this expression but……FML! If you don’t know what that means, look it up.
Winner: Santino Marella

Shortly after the match, DX’s music hit. They came out, throwing glow sticks into the crowd. All that was missing was the ecstasy. If I need to explain that to anybody, shoot me an e-mail.

In-Ring Segment: DX, Hornswoggle
Triple H started off by keeping the crowd hot. They plugged their merchandise. Triple H said they weren’t there to talk about merchandise but the match at Survivor Series for the WWE Championship. Triple H said that Cena said they would implode at SS and he didn’t even know what implode meant. He said they were a unit and as long as the title came to DX, it didn’t matter who had it. Their sights turned to Hornswoggle, mentioning he didn’t pay for his merchandise. Triple H said they would consider letting him be a member of DX. Hornswoggle came out and jumped around, doing the DX chop. Triple H told him that he needed to know one thing…are you ready? Trips did the “let’s get ready to suck it” stuff but before he finished, he got Hornswoggle & did the Pedigree. HBK then said if you’re not down with that, they’ve got two words for you. Then, they got the Hornswoggle hard board and carried Hornswoggle out of the arena. Well, that wasn’t that great, considering they’re more worried about selling the destruction of a midget instead of the match on Sunday.

After the break, the plugged Jay-Z’s new album and talked about the history of Madison Square Garden & the WWE. One thing I liked was the recap of Eddie Guerrero winning the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania 20. The anniversary of Eddie’s passing was this past Friday.

Meanwhile backstage, Jericho visited with Piper. They chatted and Piper brought in Chris Masters. Like last week, he flexed his pecs to the Black Eyed Peas song. Jericho looked disgusted and then they showed members of the Black Eyed Peas in the crowd. Listen, if Fergie isn’t with them, I don’t want to see them.

Match #3 – Diva’s Championship: Melina © vs. Alicia Fox
They brought out Judah Friedlander, who stars on “30 Rock.” I just remember him from “Meet the Parents” and I think a Dave Matthews video. After the entrances, Judah announced that it would be a Lumberjill match and all of the Divas came out to ringside. This didn’t last long. Alicia got thrown outside and the Jills beat her down. Melina ended up getting the win.
Winner: Melina

Post-match, all the Divas got in the ring and went at it. Team Mickie James cleaned house before celebrating with Judah.

In-Ring Segment: Piper’s Pit
Piper talked about all he had done throughout at the years. He said that he was the reason Hulk Hogan had no hair. He then said that he wanted one more match with Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Surprisingly, Vince made his way out to the ring. Vince started making fun of some of the things about Piper. Vince said that he was retired from in-ring competition. He mentioned how good he looked. Piper said he had been in 7,000 matches and 30 car crashes. Piper then challenged him to a fight later on as Vince made fun of Piper as Piper walked out. Um, that was one of the weirdest segments I’ve seen.

Meanwhile, RAW will be a 3-hour Thanksgiving edition next week hosted by Jesse Ventura. Yeah, just how I want to spend my Thanksgiving vacation!

Match #4 – Sheamus vs. The Ringside Helper & Jerry Lawler
Sheamus challenged somebody to come out and face him. When nobody did, he beat up the ringside helper guy. Jerry Lawler stood up to intervene and Sheamus nailed him too.
Winner: Sheamus

After the break, Matt Striker came out to fill in for King for the rest of the night.

Match #5 – Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger
Evan Bourne got it started off well. But, with a commercial break in the middle, this turned out to be a quick match. After the break, it was maybe 2-3 minutes before Swagger hit the Gutwrench Powerbomb to get the victory.
Winner: Jack Swagger

My problem with this was they had teased Miz & Swagger’s problems but there was no Miz or Eve in this match. It’s like, why have continuity?

Piper came out and called Vince out. Instead, he got Randy Orton. Orton took some shots on Piper. As he went for the punt, he stopped too early before Kofi Kingston’s music hit. He came out and he & Orton went at it for a while. The action spilled into the crowd and then back into the ring. Kofi pretty much beat the holy hell out of Randy Orton, all throughout the arena. He knocked the living shit out of him with a top to one of the cases they put equipment in. Kofi got up on a railing and was about to do a splash through a table before the referees grabbed his arms. He broke away from them, got back up, and hit his “boom drop” onto Orton, through the table.

They plugged the new Hulk Hogan DVD. This just dripped with irony. Vince doesn’t want to pay attention to the competition. Yet, here he is releasing a Hogan DVD with Hogan now with the competition. I realize that the DVD was already scheduled to be released but it’s just hilarious. You can’t tell me they can’t postpone the DVD’s release or something. I mean, it’s just funny as hell to me, probably not to you but in my world, that doesn’t matter, does it lol?

Backstage, John Cena sucked up to the crowd. Cena continued running his mouth and got a sheet of paper from a backstage hand. Cena said he made a mistake in that the match wasn’t a handicap match but instead a triple threat match. That’s pretty crappy when the face of your company doesn’t know what type of match he’s in. He continued making a goofy ass promo that nearly made me want to watch the Browns-Ravens debacle. Seriously, who the fuck wrote that promo? If it was Cena, he needs a good slap across the face.

Main Event: Jeri-Show vs. DX vs. John Cena & The Undertaker
Jeri-Show was out first, followed by DX. The first champion to come out was John Cena. I still wanted to punch him in the face for that shitty promo. Undertaker, by far, got the biggest pop of the night for just the druid chants. I marked out for the druids, I have to admit. Before his music even hit, an “Under-taker” chant broke out. In an odd move, HBK, Jericho, and Cena started off the match. I just always figured two guys were in the match. Things quickly changed as Show, Trips, and ‘Taker got tagged in. Undertaker & Triple H stared each other down before setting their sights on Big Show. We got some vintage Triple H with a spinebuster. I’ll be glad when I don’t have to hear Michael Cole. I mean, I might just say ‘vintage’ after I take a shit tomorrow and say “VINTAGE LUKE PARKS WITH A BIG TURD!” This was a random match. It didn’t tell a story at all, like the challengers trying to take out the champions. Or, teasing a turn of DX or Jeri-Show on each other because they can’t trust each other when a title is on the line. It was just random moves by everybody. VINTAGE SHAWN MICHAELS WITH AN ELBOW! At the end, everybody hit their finishers. Triple H took Undertaker to the outside, which allowed Cena to hit the FU on Triple H to get the pin for his team.
Winners: John Cena & The Undertaker

Afterwards, Undertaker hit a tombstone on Cena in another “Madison Square Garden Moment.” Hearing that 500 times from Cole was about as bad as “WWE Universe” and “Vintage.”

I give this RAW:
1 out of 4 ring posts

The Final Word:
Is there a PPV coming up this Sunday? If you were to watch WWE programming, you probably wouldn’t know. The guest host gimmick sucked this week. I usually like Piper but he wasn’t any good in a role that would typically fit him. The stuff with Vince McMahon? What purpose did that serve? You’re right, none at all.

Instead of building up interest for their championship match, DX treated Survivor Series as a B-Level PPV that nobody cares about. Are you telling me the only build they could have done was with Hornswoggle, then a little bit of stuff in the main event? ARE YOU SHITTING ME!? People wonder why I don’t like RAW right now. Hell, it should be obvious why I don’t like RAW right now. They don’t use the TV to build their PPVs. TNA uses their PPVs to build their TV. In WWE, they don’t do anything to make me want to see the PPV. Just from RAW alone, I wouldn’t spend my hard earned money to buy Survivor Series.

I don’t care to see the Divas team match. I mean, we get that crap every other week. I MIGHT tune in to see Kingston & Orton go at it but there’s no guarantee they’ll get enough of each other to send me away a happy customer.

Why is MVP getting a US title shot?

Why is Swagger going over Bourne clean with no mention of Miz or Eve in that angle?

I mean, does anybody really want to watch Survivor Series. They’re treating the WWE Championship match as a joke in the first place. I’m so frustrated with this crap I could puke. I surely hope whoever takes my place will get a better product than I’ve had the past year. Another PPV that hasn’t been built worth a damn.

“RAW is Blogged” Power Rankings
1. The Undertaker
2. Christian
3. Jeri-Show
4. John Cena
5. Randy Orton
6. Kofi Kingston
7. The Miz
8. DX
9. John Morrison
10. Jack Swagger
Honorable Mention:
The Legacy, Mark Henry

“RAW is Blogged” Match of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #7
Wrestlemania 17
WWE Tag Team Championship – TLC Match
Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Edge & Christian

“RAW is Blogged” YouTube Clip of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #7
Undertaker Returns at WM 20 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUR_YxaESUc

RAW – Mondays at 9PM on USA Network

Survivor Series – November 22nd – 8PM – Only on PPV!

Welcome to the longest running blog on the WNW Blog Spot…RAW IS BLOGGED!!!

I promise not to Billy Gunn this blog.

Unfortunately, too much crap went on as far as tests are concerned this week. Therefore, Billy Gunn probably got more pre-show notes than I did.

RAW is Blogged:
RAW is semi-LIVE from Sheffield, England with this week’s guest host: Ricky Hatton.

The Skinny:
Ricky Hatton hosted RAW and it’s amazing to see how a top-notch boxer can turn into a beer-belly idiot.

Opening Segment: Ricky Hatton, Jeri-Show
Hatton came out and talked about his memories from Sheffield. They showed one of his previous fights with Lawler going “boom” every time the knockout punch came. I kind of wish they’d let an MMA guy host RAW. That way, they could show all of the knockouts whoever hosts has had. Then again, what MMA guy would be stupid enough to stoop to WWE’s level? Jeri-Show came out and we got the usual tall guy, small guy standover from the Big Show. They continued their crap from previous weeks so Hatton made Jeri-Show against DX.

Match #1 – Alicia Fox vs. Kelly Kelly
One word to sum this match up: sloppy. They attempted moves that are out of their skill set and looked horrible. Alicia won with an axe kick.
Winner: Alicia Fox

Match #2 – Sheamus vs. Local Jobber
Seriously, we got no name for the local guy. They couldn’t playoff William Regal and call him Bobby Regal or something? If you’ve seen a Sheamus squash match, you didn’t miss anything here.
Winner: Sheamus

Meanwhile backstage, we had some horrid comedy featuring Hatton with the Bellas, Santino, & Chavo. Chavo challenged Santino to a match but Hatton instead accepted. YAHOO!

Match #3 – Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne
During the match featuring promising stars, The Miz came out to distract Swagger. After the distraction, Bourne hit a spinning kick, then the Shooting Star Press for the victory.
Winner: Evan Bourne

People wonder why I don’t recap stuff like the previous match. Well, just look at it. They’ve got their future stars in the ring and could certainly showcase them in a legitimate way. However, Bourne needs outside interference to even get a win. And when he gets the win, they put Swagger over as being a clutz, further devaluing him. It would be like this past weekend, when the Falcons beat the Redskins, yet the announcers jump on the Redskins bandwagon, putting them over as the team that should have won but are too much of a bunch of idiots to win. PATHETIC!

In-Ring Segment: The VIP Lounge with Kofi Kingston, Legacy
MVP & Mark Henry were down for the VIP Lounge with special guest, Kofi Kingston. They weren’t talking for long before Legacy came out. Orton said they should go back to the hood where they came from. Apparently, if you’re black and you work in WWE, you’re subject to racial angles regardless of where you came from or what you actually did. Moving on, there was actually a match between Orton & Henry.

Match #4 – Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry
Orton was in control for the early part of the match. As Henry started a comeback, Orton reversed a choke slam into an RKO for the victory.
Winner: Randy Orton

Match #5 – Ricky Hatton vs. Chavo Guerrero
Why me? What did I do to deserve a product that was good when I first started to a weekly dose of Chavo Guerrero comedy when I’m about to leave? This was awful.
Winner: Ricky Hatton

Continuing on the Farewell Tour from Hell, DX and John Cena were backstage with Hornswoggle doing comedy for the Survivor Series match. Horny was dressed as Cena. When DX left, he changed back into their gear.

You know, shit like this won’t sell a match. It’s almost as if the match itself is a joke and just a filler. I’ll never get the WWE.

Main Event: DX vs. Jeri-Show
Super Cena was on commentary for this match. He tried extra hard to sell the match for Survivor Series. I wasn’t buying what he was selling though. Jericho & Big Show worked over HBK for most of the match. Triple H then got the hot tag, tried a Pedigree on Show but he reversed it into a spear. The finish saw Show hit Jericho with the KO punch, Trips & Show end up on the outside, and HBK get the pin on Jericho for the win.
Winners: DX

I give this RAW:
2 out of 4 ring posts

The Final Word:
This show sucked. Hatton didn’t seem over as one would think or at least he didn’t seem over to me.

The top angle on RAW is based on what a damn midget is doing and who he’s impersonating. It’s one thing to push a match as the greatest of all-time when it’s not but it’s another thing to push a comedy angle for the main title. United States title? Fine. Women’s title? Who cares. But the angle around the WWE Championship should not be a bunch of comedy bullshit.

Survivor Series in essence is a throw-away PPV. I used to be interested when the teams actually meant something. Nowadays, I could care less because it’s a bunch of random superstars paired together. The days of “Smackdown vs. RAW” or the Alliance vs. Team WWF, I cared about those. Now, I don’t care at all.

“RAW is Blogged” Power Rankings
1. The Undertaker
2. Christian
3. Jeri-Show
4. John Cena
5. Randy Orton
6. Kofi Kingston
7. The Miz
8. DX
9. John Morrison
10. Jack Swagger
Honorable Mention:
The Legacy, Mark Henry

“RAW is Blogged” Match of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #8
Wrestlemania 21
Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

“RAW is Blogged” YouTube Clip of the Week – Top 10 of All-Time – #8
DX Mocks The Nation – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nD5FrCVfg3s

RAW – Mondays at 9PM on USA Network

Survivor Series – November 22nd – 8PM – Only on PPV!