The ECW Report

By Paul Smith

paulsmith3010@gmail.com

Welcome to The ECW Report and I am your host Paul Smith.

The Pre Game: Okay guys, I am so sorry about no report for two whole weeks including the UK ECW which I really wanted to cover (having witnessed it live, awesome show overall, although not so amazing on TV save for Regal/Christian and Jericho/Taker) but my computer died two Tuesdays ago, and as such I haven’t been able to get on here to do this blog or even tell the website what was going on.

A little bit of extra news, I received the Dragon Gate USA DVD, ‘Open The Historic Gate’ courtesy of the brothers Gray this very morning and I will be reviewing this DVD for the website, and the review will be both of the Enter The Dragon PPV (+unaired match) that got rave reviews and the bonus disc of extra matches and highlight reels and such so look out for that.

Also I can’t think of a better double header all year than Desmond ‘Nigel’ Wolfe/Kurt Angle and Joe/Daniels/AJ in any company…except maybe the DVD I’m about to review funnily enough. The whole show was actually really good though and there was lots of great wrestling which didn’t end up being overshadowed with shitty booking with only Kevin Nash’s turn or not turn or whatever and his subsequent promo being especially stupid.

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ECW is taped and rolling from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania the home of…well…ECW!

On with the show.

This week’s show begins with CM Punk. Sweet. Punk remembers ECW as his stepping stone and Punk says that his rise to World Heavyweight Champion is ECW’s proudest moment. He says that his return adulation will be the longest and loudest in history. High hopes, but hey a CM Punk match on ECW. I’m not gonna complain.

Next, is our title screen now with even more Christian surveying the horizon.

Anyway tonights main event is to hype up Team Kofi vs Team Orton: Christian and R-Truth vs CM Punk and William Regal.

The radio then tells me everything I know: namely that Zack Ryder is out in his lingerie with that match ruining scarlet woman, Rosa Mendes. Ryder is not here to talk about him, but here to introduce us to Rosa Mendes. Fan-fucking-tastic. Ryder tells Rosa how cool and smart and funny and beautiful she is. WHAT ABOUT SMART SEXY AND POWERFUL!? Ryder considers himself lucky to have had Rosa in his corner on Superstars last week. Rosa babbles some shit about shoes, but I guess I’m supposed to hate that. Ryder interrupts and says he wants her in his corner because he’s having another rematch with Shelton. Shelton interrupts more shit babbling from Rosa. Benjamin accepts the challenge and then Benjamin says he wants to ‘wrestle’ Rosa. You dog. Benjamin says that Ryder is a black and decker. A power tool. Haw haw. Benjamin says the match is gonna be right now. Ryder says no…bro and that he shouldn’t disrespect his girl. With Benjamin distracted Ryder cheap shots him and then runs off like a little girl. Benjamin looked like he liked it. Masochist. These kind of segments are good when they’re kept short and these guys have gotten fairly decent on the mic. Next up is MASK VS CAREER, Hurricane vs Pirate Paul. Cool video package documenting the feud. Stuff like this makes these matches seem important. But when we know these guys are career lower mid carders it kind of isn’t, but still nice see them make it look like they give a shit.

Paul Burchill w/ Katie Lea vs The Hurricane, Mask vs Career(s)
Burchill’s music interrupts Not-Really-New-At-All-Voice Lady’s match setup dealy. Where is her respect?! Some feeling out and a stand off. They do some mat wrestling to start us off proper. Burchill starts mauling Hurricane who ends up headscissoring the Ripper out of th ring before hitting a running plancha to the outside. Burchill folds up Hurricane with a very nice Saito suplex as we go into the break. On the other side we have a beautiful display of finest chinlockery. Burchill hit a clothesline (which it looked like Hurricane went down for the bump a little early for) for a two count. Hurricane flips out of a lift move but gets murdered by a lariat for two. Hope spot central as Burchill misses a charge and they do the boo yay punches. Thesz press by Hurricane. He hits a falling clothesline for a two count and suggests he may soon be doing signature maneuveries. Burchill nearly destroys his spine with a straight Pele kick. Burchill bridges a Northern Lights suplex countering the eye of the hurricane, and it looks like the Pirate is getting desperate. Hurricane peels off a headscissors from the rope for a close nearfall. Katie Lea distractes Hurricane and Burchill hits the jackhammer! But no! Cane kicks out~! Burchill goes for another but Hurricane turns it into the eye of the hurricane…and Burchill kicks out too! WHAT MORE WILL IT TAKE!? Hurricane heads up top but Burchill stops him. Burchill goes up and looks like he’s going for either a neckbreaker or a suplex off the top to the outside. Hurricane however, hits a super overcast for the win!
Winner: The Hurricane, Paul and Katie Lea Burchill must leave ECW

Opinion: And so probably my favourite feud on the show after seeming like it would never end, ends here. Great match to follow up the ones they had had prior. Burchill now leaves for RAW which is in my opinion a shame, as I very much enjoy blogging his matches **3/4

Paul and Katie look distraught. I almost feel bad for the guy. The crowd, well some of them, chant hey na na goodbye. How touching. Perphaps for the final time, I can report that Katie Lea this week looked like a burlesque witch hooker.

CM Punk is backstage with Tiffany. Punk lectures Tiffany on having the occasional drink. She suggests Punk loosen up and try and be a human being. Not sure what the point of that was but Tiffany sure does have an annoying voice. Anyway because good matches aren’t part of the plan we have one half of the legendary ROCK N RAVE INFECTION making his way to the ring.

Jobodov Jobski vs Vance Hoyt Lance Archer Vance Archer
The jobber is Johnny Andrews. So since this will be a stupid one minute match, I will instead give you my thoughts on Vance Archer. Lance Hoyt knows more moves than most of these big men. But he is still boring and he can’t talk. And what exactly is he going to do when they stop him squashing people? Feud with Goldust? Or maybe Tommy Dreamer. Who knows. It’ll suck whatever it is.
Winner: Take One Guess SQUASH

Running down the Survivor Series card. Storywise kinda crappy, matchwise though I’m looking forward to it. Christian is backstage before being interrupted by CM Punk. Christian says the sXe thing is kind of lame basically. He asks if he can hold hands with a girl. Whether he gets grounded for breaking curfew. Christian says the peeps call Punk a nerd. Punk isn’t a nerd, and he demands respect and goes down all of his accomplishments. Christian points out that all of those belts: former champion. BOOK THIS FEUD.

I don’t know why but they pimp out that kinda cool new Jay Z song. Dunno if a Blueprint 3 is necessary though. They show the same New York video they did on RAW. I guess thats the reason. I may check out that RAw from this week as it sounded like a good show. This package moves into that very RAW’s main event. I always love when they do that entrance way at MSG too.

CM Punk & William Regal vs ECW Champion Christian & R-Truth
Only 10 months ago these guys were feuding and in fact at the last Survivor Series, CM Punk eliminated Regal. But now this is all forgotten and Punk claps Regal as he enters the ring and they shake hands. Consistency? Don’t make me laugh. The match last week was completely awesome by the way with Regal and Christian. R-Truth’s pop sounded like the biggest of the show. Odd. Anyway minus commercials, this is going to get about eight minutes. Punk and Christian star. Seriously, book this. Christian slaps the shit out of Punk before throwing Regal into Punk. Stereo missile dropkicks as Christian tags in Truth as we go to break. Truth is in with Regal and hits a tilt a whirl headscissors before Punk tags in and gets kicked to the outside. Christian hits his jumping dropkick to the outside on Regal before Truth nearly kills himself with a dive onto Punk. This is all action to start with. Punk tags in Regal, who goes to work on Truth’s left leg, continuing Punk’s work. Punk is back in and he bends the leg. Anyway the general gist here is is Regal and Punk tag frequently while keeping Truth away from his corner. Truth his an enziguiri and we get a Punk tag on the other side while Christian runs wild off the hot tag. Tornado DDT gets two for Christian, who hits the shoryuken. Punk and Christian counter out of each other’s finishers and Christian counters the pepsi twist into a reverse DDT and WE ARE BREAKING DOWN. Regal hits the knee trembler on Christian before Punk KOs him with the Go2Sleep for the win. As always Punk’s glee at his victory is a thing of awesomeness.

Winners: CM Punk & William Regal

Opinion: This was a decent match with a hot open and while it kind of built to Survivor Series, the match itself was kind of formulaic, but it did make me want to see more of Punk vs Christian, even though I think I’m supposed to want to see more Punk vs R-Truth. Oh well **

Two good matches is good enough for me and the ECW go home show earns…

This episode of ECW earns a thumbs up.

Couple of quick notes. I should be joining Chris Jacks for more prediction madness over the weekend for more Talent Exchange. Also either this week or next week marks a year of me working here at WNW on the ECW Blog. It’s been a pleasure writing for you guys, and I just hope it’s been a pleasure to read it.

Until next time, I have been Paul Smith. Thanks for reading.

Tags: Christian, CM Punk, Paul Burchill, R-Truth, the hurricane, vance archer, William Regal