RAW Results 7/23/12 – No Stone Cold! No Stone Cold!

1,000th episode of RAW starts with a totally new opening promo.

Video

Lovely video hitting on many high points of the show, from the new Special Guest Hosts to the weddings, Goldust, Regal as a showgirl. A variety of little people, Miz’s angry girl, Jericho’s first night, Christian, Simmons, VKM, Steph, Shane, HBK losing his smile, Edge retiring, Flair retiring. Trip talking about Eddie passing, tears flowing. SCSA on the Zamboni, on VKM in the hospital. Punk cashing in and winning. HBK and Bret hugging. Batista quitting. Shane buying WCW. Taker, Kane, Bearer. So many moments, mostly good.

Announce Segment

January, 11, 1993 to July 23, 2012 – 1000 episodes of RAW. Cole welcomes us to the show.

In Ring Segment

VKM comes out with a glowing smile on his face. He struts to the ring, and gets solid pop. King and Cole are dressed up for the evening. King’s been there since the start of RAW. King is choked up.

VKM says 1,000th episodes! He thanks the fans. “Thank you Vince!” chants. Welcome to Monday Night RAW! Please welcome Degeneration X! DX’s music plays and the fans go even more wild!

Triple H and HBK come out to the stage. Both in camos with their DX t-shirts. Cole talks up how DX changed the WWE. They throw glow sticks to the fans. This time Trip gets ready for the pyro, but HBK stops with a mic. He needs to catch his breath. The fans go wild again. HBK says he’s feeling this. But he feels like he’s missing something. He has his pants and his underwear, they’re bunching. But something is missing. Trip agrees that something is missing. Their wearing the gratuitous merch, what can it be? HBK asks if Trip has his undies on? Trip checks and says he does. Trip asks if there used to be more of them? (YAY!) The fans go wild! Trip says he can’t hear them, did there used to be more of them? DX music hits and out comes the Jeep! X-Pac, Road Dogg and Billy Gunn out to the ring and the fans are wild. The DX in-ring pyro hits and they all pose and crotch chop. King says something about it’s fine with him for them to start the AE tomorrow!

RD hits his normal opening schpeal, and everyone points for the New Age Outlaws! Trip says if that isn’t a start… But he needs to know one thing. Are you ready? NO, I SAID, ARE YOU READY? Then, for the thousands in attendance, the millions watching around the world, and for Trip as he’s the only one left with a full head of hair. They all break up. And, because this is the 1,000th episode of RAW, and he will see us all when they hit 2000! Let’s get ready to SUCK IT!

HBK tries to speak, but Gunn says it’s his part. He wasn’t given much, but this is his part. HBK says he originated this part. He wasn’t given much either, but it was his little sunshine. Trip steps in and tells Gunn to give HBK this, because he might lose his smile, and when he does that he does strange things like posing for Playgirl. HBK’s face about drops. HBK says he was stupid, okay? And he needed the money! They all laugh and can’t stop. HBK says he can’t work this way. Trip tells them to do it together. Then they argue about how they will do it, 1-2-3, and then do it? Or 1-2-3, but then Sandow’s music and he comes out to heat. He introduces himself. He’s our intellectual savior of the unwashed masses. Trip isn’t impressed, but HBK wants to hear him out, because they are pretty scuzzy.

Sandow says this is what RAW, WWE and society has fallen to. Common degenerates who’s sophomoric and disgusting behavior has brainwashed the masses into liking this crass conduct. HBK says he’s going back home and to church and asking forgiveness again. Sandow say those buffoons could eviscerate him and dump him like common trash. But he’ll be a martyr for those who appreciate a sophisticated mind.

Trip says they’ve been apart for a while, but they need to plan and discuss. Sandow isn’t allowed in. Calls Trip rude. Trip says they’re rude guys. They talk, then break with ‘DX’!

Sweet chin music on Sandow. Trip hits his pedigree to HUGE pop. HBK puts the helmet on. Gunn says, if you’re not down for that, we have two words for you – SUCK IT! They all pose with Sandow face down on the mat. Trip and X-Pac remove his robe, then throw Sandow from the ring. They all pose, HBK with that little smile of his.

Promo for what’s the come on the show, then DX poses once again on the stage.

>Commercial

Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara & Sheamus vs Jericho & Ziggler w/ Vickie & ADR

JR’s music and he comes out to announce! King wants to sit between JR and Cole. Rey out in red and blue. Video of Rey’s attack on ADR on RAW last week. Sin Cara out to tag with Rey. Sheamus out to round out the group. JR talks JR up like no other announcer could. The lights go out, then Jericho in his blinkie jacket on stage. He struts to the ring. Video of Ziggler going off on Jericho last week on RAW, Jericho didn’t say anything aloud, just a code breaker. Jericho smirks after the video. Ziggler out with Vickie wearing a lovely purple dress. Ricardo announces ADR in an 2012 Astin Martin Mirage. They discuss JR’ face fur on announce. ADR is in new gold trunks.

>Commercial

Ziggler tags in and a snap mare of Sin Cara. Elbow drop for two. Cole says the elbow drop was to Rey, but it was Sin Cara. Jericho tags in, but Sin Cara comes back with two. Drop kick to Sin Cara. Jericho slams Sin Cara to the mat. Jericho with a foot on Sin Cara poses for the pin. ADR tags in and whips Sin Cara. Kick to Sin Cara in the corner for two. Cole again says the pin on Rey, but it’s Sin Cara! Sin Cara thrown back, but gets his feet up. DDT on ADR.

Sheamus in with clotheslines and a shoulder block in the corner on Jericho. Really crappy back breaker on Jericho, then Sheamus pins, but ADR breaks the count. Rey in and takes ADR out. Sin Cara in and on Ziggler, both from the ring. Jericho tries for the walls, but no. Jericho trues for the code breaker, but Sheamus muscles out. Jericho ducks the brogue kick, Sheamus gets tied up in the ropes. Jericho with the lionsault, but Ziggler is there and attacks Jericho! Ziggler knocked to the floor. Brogue kick to Jericho for three.

Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara & Sheamus vs Jericho & Ziggler w/ Vickie & ADR

Cole seems to dismiss JR. It’s said Rock is there to discuss WWE Championship.

>Commercial

Announce Segment

King and Cole welcome us back, JR isn’t at announce. They show fans’ Tout videos for AJ and Bryan getting married tonight. Some and happy, one says they need to see a shrink, one blows a raspberry. Cole says Charlie Sheen is there via satellite. Sheen says the show is epic. He thinks he’d fit in with DX. And Sheamus seems to party like Sheen did back in the day. He thinks he’d have fit in well with the WWE. Cole talks about AJ and Bryan getting married.

Video

Recap of AJ and Bryan’s courtship. It starts with Bryan telling AJ that he loves her, then he proposes to her. AJ says yes, so then they make out in the ring.

Backstage Segment

AJ brushing her hair and talks about how private and special her wedding will be, right Layla? Layla asks if AJ really wants to do this? AJ asks why people ask that and about her being unstable. Have they looked around this place? AJ opens the door to show Duggan yelling, “Hooooooooooo!” 2X4 in hand. Then, R-Truth and Piper are trying to play jump-rope with Little Jimmy! Little Jimmy has his feelings hurt. Layla is all excited about Little Jimmy, such a great dancer, and so cool. AJ talks about Little Jimmy being invisible, but Layla doesn’t seem to get that.

They look out again and there’s a guy in a hand costume with Mae Young standing next to him! He’s Mae Young’s son, all grown up. He wishes AJ the best of luck! AJ thanks them, Layla looks shocked. AJ looks at Layla in an ‘I told you so!’ look. Layla wishes AJ luck and bolts from the room.

>Commercial

Announce Segment

A Sonic car hop comes up to bring them refreshments.

Swagger vs Funkasaurus

Swagger is already ringside, but doesn’t get a slushy. Funkasaurus out to the ring with his Funkadactyls red and white. Cole pushed Shazam, Clay’s music? Clay is in stars and stripes tonight. He introduced Dude Love! Foley out as one of his personas.

Swagger attacks, but Clay ducks and he takes Swagger down for three.

Winner – Funkasaurus (0:16)

Love and Funkasaurus dance in the ring. Multi-colored Socko to Swagger who had reached his feet.

Backstage Segment

Trip talking with Trish about yoga. She says his mind is the problem. Trish bends Trip over, the way he did with her so many years ago, but this time DX comes in. They all bustle out, except X-Pac and Trish. He puts an arm around and tries to chat her up, but she’s completely freaked out.

Backstage Segment

Bryan is in his white tux, down to the shoes, and he talking to four men in white coats? Cole wants people to go on Twitter and say whether they think #ajido or #ajidont.

>Commercial

Wedding!

The ring is set up for the wedding. King is in the ring. He announces the person performing the ceremony, it’s Slick! The first African American manager. Cole says 74% say #ajdont. King says he’s been married so many times that he has rice marks on his face. Love is grand, but divorce is $100,000. Slick is all in character and wants to get this show on the road.

Bryan’s music hits, he comes out in his tux, yelling “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” He stops outside the ring, composes himself, enters the ring, but goes right back to “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” Bryan gives thumbs up and the Wedding March plays. Out comes AJ in a lovely white strapless wedding gown with a mermaid bottom and train. Bryan holds the ropes for AJ to get in the ring. Cole talks about other weddings – Steph and Trip, Lita and Kane!

Slick starts performing the ceremony. He calls them unique and beautiful individuals. In lieu of a wedding party, they have the fans. Slick goes all out, but AJ and Bryan get the giggles. He asks if anyone can give just cause as to why they can’t be married, speak now, or forever hold your peace. The fans are very against the marriage. Slick says he never heard that before. “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” from the fans. Bryan says they’ve had their ups and downs, has always loved her. Once they’re man and wife, a new chapter will begin for both of them. He will finally have everything he’s ever wanted. AJ is all giddy.

Slick asks Bryan if he takes AJ to be his lawfully wedded wife? “YES!” Do you AJ? “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” From the fans – “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” Slick says by the power vested in him by the state of…

Wait! AJ says she wasn’t saying yes to Bryan, but to someone else. Another man. Another man who made a proposal to her earlier tonight. AJ gives Bryan that crazy look. Out comes VKM!

VKM tells Bryan it’s not that kind of proposal, a business proposal. To make 1,000th episode of RAW and every night following great, say hello to the new GM of RAW. VKM reaches to welcome someone out, then says AJ!

AJ slaps the bouquet into Bryan’s chest, hikes her dress up, skips around Bryan, showing off her black Chucks on her feet. She skips to the stage, then starts yelling “YES!” “YES!” “YES!”

>Commercial

In Ring Segment

Bryan in the ring with three refs. Bryan just keeps yelling “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” over and over. Punk’s music hits and he comes out to HUGE pop! Punk has a mic in hand, but poses for the fans first.

“CM Punk!” chants. Punk tells Bryan that he didn’t come out to rub it in his face. But he did just get stood up at the altar. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Everyone’s in collective shock that she woulnd marry him. Bryan should be pitching a fit because AJ is the GM of RAW. Bryan can continue throwing a fit, Punk will continue being Champ and best in the world.

Best in the world? He’s not even the best in the ring tonight. Not only isn’t Punk the best in the world, Bryan says he’s the greatest of all time!

Can you smell? Yup, Rock’s music hits and he comes out to the biggest pop of the night? Might be. Rock to the ring and poses for the fans to go wild. Rock walks right between them to another corner to pose. He calls for a mic. His music stops and he sucks up the love. Rock looks at Bryan who glares back. Rock says Bryan doesn’t get to say who the greatest of all time is. THEY get to say who the greatest of all time is. (Fans) The fans are that much hotter. Since they said that, the people’s Champ says this – finally the Rock has come back to St. Louis! They’re even wilder!

See, Rock says… Bryan yells, HEY! He doesn’t know who Rock thinks he is.

No! N-n-n-n-n-o! NO! You don’t just cut off the Rock like that! No! Rock and Bryan glare at each other. “Boots to asses!” chants. Punk nods with a smirk. No, you don’t cut the Rock off. You don’t understand. It was right here Rock won his first WWE Championship! Rock isn’t here to talk to Frodo, no! He’s there to talk about the WWE Championship. Rock just got word that at the Royal Rumble, whoever the WWE Champ is, they will go one on one against the great one. They will defend against the Rock.

Punk says that’s good news for Rock, and for Punk. Whoever will be WWE Champ? Rock’s looking at him. Tonight he’ll beat Cena. He wishes tomorrow was the Royal Rumble. Just like Punk will end Cena tonight, he’ll beat Rock at the Royal Rumble.

Rock says he wants to make something perfectly clear to him. Rock won his first WWE Championship in St. Louis, so Rock will look Punk in the eye and tell him Punk, best in the world, at Royal Rumble, Rock will be the next WWE Champ.

“NO!” “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” This is supposed to be about him! It was supposed to be the greatest night of his life! Does he want to know who he’ll fight Rocky? Somehow, some way, Rock will fight Bryan. Not only will he be Champ, but he’ll be the face of the WWE!

Rock says that’s what Bryan’s saying? No, what Rock is saying is that he’s looking at what would happen if a homeless lumberjack banged an Oompah Loompah! Punk points and smiles. “Oompah, Loompah, doompitty dee, you look like a troll from Lord of The Rings!” Rock didn’t come to talk to the Oompah Loompah, he’s there to talk to Punk. Punk needs to kick ass, like Rock knows he will. Now, for the Oompah Loompah, sorry he didn’t get married, but it ain’t all bad for him tonight because Rock got him a wedding gift anyway.

ROCK BOTTOM! If you smelllllll what the Rock is cookin’! Rock leaves the ring, but on the ramp Rock turns and looks at Punk who looks back with a smirk. Rock stops on the stage and does the same.

>Commercial

Promo

WWE 13! Time to pre-order!

Twitter Poll

Who do we want Rock to face at the Royal Rumble – #rockpunk or #rockshow or #rockcena.

IC Title Match – Christian (C) vs Miz

Justin announces Bret Hart as the Special Guest Ring Announcer. Bret out to the ring in jeans and black leather jacket, as per usual. Justin shakes Bret’s hand and gives him the mic. He says one of the best moments of his career was winning the IC Title against one of the best who ever lived, Mr. Perfect! He has the honor of introducing the combatants for the IC Title tonight. The IC Champ, Christian! Christian out to the ring. A side hug to Bret from Christian. His opponent, Miz. Miz out to the ring. Christian seems to contemplate his opponent.

Christian gets the fans clapping. Christian beahind Miz, Miz reverses. Miz runs the ropes into Christian’s block. Christian off the top in a missile drop kick. Miz into a corner, but gets his feet up. Miz sent out, Christian flies off the top onto Miz, but Christian holds his knee when he lands.

>Commercial

Miz with a sort of single leg crab on Christian, but Christian pushes out. Christian slams Miz back to the mat. Bit slap to Miz, then a clothesline. Christian out and an upper cut on Miz through the ropes. Christian climbs and a crossbody for two. Christian to the second ropes with an upper cut. Christian gets the fans clapping, then a back kick. Christian take Miz down, but Miz back with a boot to Christian’s head for two. Christian to his feet, but holding his right knee. Miz ties Christian’s knee in the ropes. Miz rushes Christian and gets a slap for it. Bit DDT to Miz for a long two.

Christian sets up for the spear, but Miz stops him and plants Christian for two. Miz is freaked that Christian kicked out. Miz is focused, rushes Christian, but gets corner. Christian can’t manage the killswitch, then again misses, then Miz hits the SCF for three!

Winner & new IC Champ– Miz! (7:38)

Video of the high points of the match. He’s a Triple Crown winner! This is his first IC win. He grabs a mic and says, “I’m the IC Champ, and I’m… Awesome!”

Announce Segment

Cole talks to Sheen. Sheen says it’s epic. Loves the Rock and can’t wait to see Royal Rumble. He calls Bryan a weasel and says he has anger management issues and doesn’t know how to treat a woman like AJ. Sheen then calls Bryan an Oompah Loompah.

>Commercial

Video

Regis talking about being a fan on sports entertainment. He made his WWE debut on WrestleMania 7. He’s had them all on his show – Blassie, Slaughter, Rock, Iron Sheik, Cena, all of them. He loves the WWE. Congratulations on 1000 episodes.

In Ring Segment

Trip back out to the ring, but much more focused than earlier.

WWE Slam of The Week

Laurinaitis and Trip getting into it verbally, then Brock attacked Trip from behind, then ‘broke Trip’s arm’ on the mat.

Trip asks if they’re having a good time? He’s had his fun, so it’s time to kick up the intensity a bit. He knows Brock is there. He called Brock out and wants to fight Brock at SummerSlam. He wants an answer and he wants it now.

Brock’s music. Trip looks very focused, but it’s Heyman who comes out to the ring. King wants to know why Brock doesn’t come out. Trip says he came out to talk to the horse’s head, not the horse’s ass! Heyman smirks. He says Trip’s negotiating skills have improved. Trip is right about one thing, Brock is there tonight. Brock has authorized Heyman through power of attorney now. Trip wants to fight Brock at SummerSlam? Brock’s answer to Trip is no. Sorry.

Trip says if Brock doesn’t want to come out and talk to him, Trip will go find him. Heyman says there’s lawsuits already, Mr. COO, is that best for business. Trip says Brock is such a coward he won’t tell Trip to his face? All this hype, bravado, but Brock is a bully? A coward? Is that is Paul?

Heyman says Trip resorts to name calling? Heyman teaches his kids not to do. Is that what Trip teaches his kids?

Trip gets pissed and says he warned Heyman not to talk about his family. Heyman says he shouldn’t do that. He feels bad for Trip’s kids. Has he ever heard ‘the sins of the father will be visited upon by the children.’

Steph’s music hits and she comes stomping out in a conservative, but sexy black dress and that pissed look on her face. She glides compared to the way she used to bounce (boobs) to the ring. Steph tells Heyman to never speak about her children ever again. Want to get personal? Let’s say what the lawsuits are about. They’re about Heyman masking his failures as a businessman. Failures at WCW and ECW and WWE. He calls himself a visionary, when it comes to VKM, Heyman’s looking in the rear view mirror.

Heyman says they’re going to talk about Daddy now? Steph tells Heyman to shut up. At least her Daddy had the guts to step in the ring with her husband. That’s more than she can say for Brock! At least her kids will be proud of their father and grandfather. Unlike Heyman’s kids. They’re ashamed of him because they know their father is nothing more than a professional parasite!

Steph slaps the taste of of Heyman’s mouth. He has to grab the ropes to stay vertical. Heyman then leaves the ring, but stops on the apron. Trip takes Steph’s elbow and backs her up a bit as Heyman comes back in the ring with that vindictive wormy look he has, all wild eyed. He asks if that’s what she wants? She wants to see her husband get hurt? His career ended? She wants to see her husband fight Brock? She has it! It’s on. Brock will face Trip at SummerSlam.

Heyman then stops, tucks the mic under his arm and claps for Steph. He says bravo! Bravo! Daddy’s little girl did it again! She always gets what she wants. He fell for it. It’s what her father taught her! What she teaches her children. It that the lesson…

Steph dives on Heyman, takes him down and is on top of him hitting on him. Trip smirks and lets Steph beat on Heyman, but then Brock’s music hits. Trip gets Steph from the ring fast, she scurries. Brock into the ring and while diving at Trip, picks him up and slams him back into the corner. Trip’s lower back hits the top buckle. Blows to Trip, but then Trip fights back. Blows back and forth. Knee to Trip’s gut, but Trip back with one. Back and forth until Trip clotheslines Brock from the ring. Brock on the ramp with Heyman, Trip in the ring, Steph can be seen by announce clapping her hands over his head. Off comes Trip’s shirt and he yells for Brock to ‘come on!’ Brock rips of his shirt and throws his shirt toward the ring and yells, “Fuck off!” They, of course, bleep out Brock, but it’s very obvious what he says and he really looks mad.

>Commercial

Video

Tout – Kofi talking about wheat we just saw on RAW. Fans talking about the wedding, Rock with a Title shot, AJ being the GM is great, then show Jericho’s blinkie jacket.

Announce Segment

There was a Twitter poll for the dream match for WWE 13, it’s Cena vs SCSA wins. They show clips of what it will look like. This is the fastest pre-order game in WWE history.

Video

This rivalry put WWE on the mat – rivalry between SCSA and VKM. Clips of the feud and many people talking about the feud – Cena, Steph, Maria Menunos, Miz. Austin filled VKM’s car with concrete. The Zamboni. The beer truck. Cena asks if there would be 1,000th episode of RAW if not for this feud. Steph says it invigorated the WWE.

>Commercial

In Ring Segment

Santino out to the ring with Hornswoggle. They’re holding a bunch of Brawlin’ Buddies. They talk now! King and Cole talk them up in a big way. Hornswoggle and Santino trow some to the fans, and hand them out. There’s a bunch that look like Orton!

No DQ, No Countout Match – Slater vs Lita

Justin announce Finkel as the Special Guest Ring Announcer. Slater out to the ring. Cole says people have been calling him the ‘one man band aid!’ Slater says all that’s happened to him is in the past. We will only remember his victory tonight, because it will be epic. He challenges any legend to a No DQ, No Countout Match. Lita out in a barely there sports bra type top, maybe a black bikini top? She’s also wearing gray pants with her logo on the front of the left leg, and looks AMAZING! Lita poses on a corner as Slater complains. Slater asks if she thinks she can beat him? He accepts her challenge, ring the bell. But Lita says she has something to say to him. For tonight’s match she hired some protection. APA!!!!!! They both come to the ring and Slater leaves the ring and stomps up the ramp. But Road Warrior Animal’s music hits, and all the legend who beat Slater over the past weeks.

Lita kicks Slater, hits her twist of fate. JBL with his clothesline from hell. Lita climbs and hits her moonsault for three! Cole begs King to be able to say it – ‘Vintage’ Lita! ‘Vintage’ APA! ‘Vintage’ legends! (Remember I was timing from the bell, not the actual wrestling in the ring.)

Winner – Lita (1:55)

All the legends in the ring with Lita, raising her hand. Ron takes the mic, looks down at Slater and then at the fans. “DAMN!” King is all giddy talking about everyone in the ring. Slaughter is checking Slater to see if he’s still alive.

Video

VKM announcing AJ the new GM of RAW. AJ then ditched Bryan and was all “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” in the ring. Then Rock gave Bryan his wedding gift – the Rock bottom.

Backstage Segment

Sean Mooney (was an announcer on the very first RAW) is with Bryan backstage. Bryan says this entire night has been tainted. AJ humiliated him, Rock assaulted him, then called a name by Sheen. Sheen needs more than anger management, he needs life management. If Sheen was where Mooney is there now, he’d slap the “YES!” lock on him faster than he could say, ‘winning!’

>Commercial

Announce Segment

WWE has hit the 1,000,000,000 follower mark with social media, and Alex Guerrero Jr is the 1,000,000,000th follower. Cole is with him in the front row. He’s from San Antonio, Texas. He won tickets to the show. He’s having a better time than Bryan, that’s for sure. He can’t wait for the next 1000 episodes of RAW! Cole says he can go home having his dream come true, being interviewed by Cole!

Video

King says that ‘May I have your attention please.’ is Cole’ catchphrase, and they have someone there to talk about famous catchphrases. The video starts and it’s Fozzie Bear! He says RAW has had many great Superstars with many great catchphrases, sounding something like this. Spirit Squad, Jericho, Foley, DX, Vickie, SCSA, Booker, Bryan, Funaki, Ryder, Simmons, VKM, Trip, Punk, Miz, Edge, Savage!, Cena, Rock. Jericho had many, but it ends with, ‘And that’s the bottom line, ’cause Stone Cold said so!”

Backstage Segment

Ryder with Cena and Mean Gene Okerland. He says he’s been doing his research about Okerlund. He was the one behind GTV. Okerlund wasn’t even working there then! No one gets it. Rock comes up, Ryder and Okerlund leave. Cena says it’s been a long time. Rock says to Cena to have good luck and have a great match. Cena says at the Royal Rumble Rock will face the Champ? Rock agrees. Cena says he’s winning tonight to face the great one. Rock says he can’t tell Cena… how much he’s looking forward to that. The fans can be heard with their five word dueling chants.

>Commercial

Kane vs No One!

Fire erupts and out comes Kane. Kane is about to call the fire from the corners, but Mahal’s music hits and he comes out leading Reks, Hawkins, Drew Camacho and Hunico. Mahal says for 999 episodes of RAW, there hasn’t been matches for them, they’ve had no opportunity. They now take their own. They circle the ring, all on the apron…

GONG! GONG! GONG!

New video on the screen for Taker. So much smoke, then there he is. Taker out in a sick studded trench, hood up on his head, but eyes piercing through. Taker slowly walks to the ring; to his brother. King comments that Taker was there on the first RAW, now for the 1,000th episode of RAW. Taker raises the lights and he enters the ring to join his brother. Kane looks a bit apprehensive from a corner. Taker struggles to get the hood off, but he shows his barely there mohawk. The brothers continue to glare at each other.

Mahal, then Camacho come in and attack the Brothers of Destruction. Hunico and Hawkins eat double chokeslams from them. Taker slides his thumb across his throat, then double tombstones.

The brothers are nose to nose, they look over at the guys on the mat. “This is awesome!” chants fill the arena. They kick the guys from the ring, then both look at the fans who are so happy.

GONG! Taker on his knee poses while his brother stands behind him. Kane rolls over the top rope and out, and the show cuts away before Taker leaves the ring.

Video

Steph, Sheamus, Miz, and Eve at a school to talk about bullying. Sheamus is always great at these, but Miz really shows his chops and is impressive.

>Commercial

Announce Segment

Back to Sheen. Cole brings up what Bryan said about Sheen. Sheen says there’s a reason he’s drinking a shake, because he’s going to shake Bryan so hard his fake beer will fall off and loser will be seen on his goat face. Sheen basically challenges Bryan, but when Cole asks if he’s challenging Bryan, and Sheen says Bryan might needs a translator, but when he’s in LA. After Sheen goes off the air, Cole says SummerSlam is in LA.

Video

Last week on RAW when Cena rushed the ring and said he’d be cashing in his MITB contract.

MITB Contract WWE Championship Match – CM Punk (C) vs Cena

Cena out to the ring, case held above his head. It has a handle, but is still very dented. Cena gets in the ring and looks at the case. Cena looks up at 1,000th episode of RAW running around the ticker high in the stands. Punk’s music and he comes out to huge pop again.

The Twitter Poll gives #rockpunk 55%!

>Commercial

Punk extends his hand. Cena walks over, shakes, then they lock up. Side headlock on Punk. “Let’s go Cena!” and “CM Punk!” chants. Shoulder block drops Punk. They circle, side headlock on Punk. If Punk retains he will tie for 16th longest reign. Back and forth, then Punk with a backslide on Cena for two. They lock up . Arm bar into a hammer lock on Cena. Punk works it into an abdominal stretch! Cena muscles free with a hip toss. Cena grabs Punk’s foot, but is kicked off! They stare at each other – stalemate!

They lock up and Punk backed into a corner. Clean break. Circle, then lock up. Forearm to Cena’s back. Blows on Cena. Cena back with blows on Punk. Side headlock take-down on Punk. On their knees Cena calls the moves, they get up and Punk suplexes free of the hold. Kick to Cena’s back. Back breaker on Cena for two.

Punk ties up Cena’s legs, then a reverse chinlock on Cena on the mat. King says no one has ever said when they will cash in – RVD did for One Night Stand. They exchange blows, back and forth. Cena gets control, then shoulder blocks on Punk. Punk falls out of the back slam, then Punk on Cena with clothesline. Punk hits his high knee in the corner, then waves his hand in front of his face to the fans. Cena avoids Punk’s bulldog. Cena sets up for the 5 knuckle shuffle, but is kicked in the head, then kicked in the back of the head.

Punk gets Cena up, but he wiggles free and pushes Punk into the ref. Ref bump. Cena hits his AA and pins, but no ref. Punk is still holding his head as Cena checks on the ref. Big Show slides into the ring. Cena back in and eats a spear from Big Show. Big Show calls for the WMD. Punk, sitting in a corner just stares. Big Show hits the WMD to Cena’s head. Big Show leaves the ring to huge heat.

Punk looks around, Cena is down and there’s no ref. Punk goes out and slaps the ref a bit to wake him up. Punk scratches his head. Punk sends the ref into the ring. Both Punk and the ref in the ring. Punk pins and the ref counts, but Cena kicks out! Punk looks about to cry. Punk pulls Cena up, sets up and Cena reverses the GTS into the STF!

Big Show is back in and a blow to Cena’s back.

Winner – Cena via DQ? (11:26)

Big Show beats on Cena in a big way. Punk stares a bit in shock as Big Show stomps Cena. Big Show picks Cena up and slams him to the mat, but too close to the ropes and Cena’s legs hit hard.

Can you smell? Rock runs to the ring. Blows on Big Show, then a spinebuster. Rock sets up for the people’s elbow, but Punk into the ring with a big clothesline on Rock! Punk’s eyes are cold! Punk just turned heel! Punk picks up Rock and hits the GTS which Rock over sells a bit, but it works. Still a few chants for Punk can be heard, but much of it is heat as he looks around at Cena on the mat in one corner and Rock selling the GTS in the center of the ring. Punk, Title belt in hand leaves the ring, goes down the stairs and slowly walks up the ramp with that pissy look on his face. Slowly, very slowly up the ramp as Cole signs off for the night.

Biggest pop
Rock
DX
Brothers of Destruction
VKM
Lita & APA & Legends

Biggest heat
Bryan
Heyman
Brock

Biggest swerve!
Punk’s heel turn

Biggest bummer (for me)
No Stone Cole Steve Austin

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  • Pizzaman

    Yes the old dx is back

  • mark freeman

    Thats it im turning off now, that DX reunion has made my night. Anythingcan happen now and I will still be smiling.
    .

    • mark freeman

      Oh and Im guessing that was a nice spot for Damien Sandhow…

      • mark freeman

        Glad I didnt turn off, JR on commentary….its getting better and better

        • AnacondaVise

          Jim Ross is just an instant upgrade.

  • AnacondaVise

    That has to be a good sign for Sandow having him be apart of that moment.

  • Kleck

    This is so nice to listen to JR. I absolutely love this!

  • James

    Wow DX put on a good opening show it was great

  • Ranfery25

    This RAW is AWESOME!

  • Mr. Love

    I am watching RAW recorded so I am catching up to everything but I just marked out so hard for all of DX!!!!!!

  • Dan Galloway

    I would have liked a new stage set up though.

  • Me.

    F***ing Tout. As annoying as I expected.

  • Me.

    WHAT … THE … HELL?!?!?!??!?

    We didn't need that storyline (Mae Young giving birth to a hand…).

    • http://wwe.com Hockeymadness50

      IT’S A JOKE!

  • Kleck

    Mae Young…they went there…

  • dusty588

    Mae Young's son = Win! lol

  • Simon Veitch

    I can't believe the hand made a return… I'm glad it was kept short though, and not elaborated on so that only those who know of the angle and the history would understand it. Couldn't help but cringe, but i guess it was entertaining and proved AJ's point.

  • mark freeman

    May Youngs son looked too old, surely he was about 30, but im sure it only happened about 14 years ago….unless hands age faster than people….nice to see him all grown upo though, i was wondering about him….

  • kel

    AJ the new GM! Yes! Yes! Yes!

    • billy

      aj sux that ruined the whole show, man i hate aj. why is she gm so stupid

  • Robert olley

    Why does wwe insist on dropping the ball it was so obvious to debut dean ambrose at the wedding

    • christopher525

      Actually, I would have had him interrupt the dance party to get his Foley feud on TV.

  • AnacondaVise

    CM Punk was not impressed by The Rock.

    • LucasLockie

      I was actually really expecting him

    • The Honesty Policy

      Yeah!!! I have the same look on my face when I'm holding my bus pass and a BMW pulls up…It's called JEALOUSY buddy!!!

  • Austin

    I would love to see CM Punk or DB vs Rock SO much more than a Cena rematch

    • Joe

      No cena would be way better just cause he d loose to the rock again and this time Rock takes the title it would be epic to see punk rock wrestlemania

      • http://wwe.com Hockeymadness50

        Austin has a good thought. But instead if a 2 on 1 handicap match, it should b a survivor series dayjavo. With Punk and Show vs the team of The Rock and Cena

  • Eric

    so far nothing truly exciting happened. Brodus Clay squashing a low carder (very original), a ruined wedding (very original), and DX with their childish unfunny humor (very original). AJ as the GM wtf!!!! It should have been Vickie or Regal. It should of been a returning John Morrison or Shelton Bejamin against Christian.

    • mathew30

      damn it, and we wonder why they havent called you up as a writer or producer. i guess we will never know

    • Skyrim

      Cause Shelton Benjamin was so over with the fans. Oh that's right, he was the guy with less charisma than The Great Khali, a glorified spot monkey would be a wasted slot on the 1000th episode of raw. JoMo I could almost agree with. And to your points of unoriginal content on this raw: How would Vickie or Regal being GM be original? Or does originality only matter when it comes to getting what you want?

      • Terra Ryzing

        Shelton Benjamin a spot monkey? Can I have whatever you’re smoking? He was a collegiate wrestler….get your facts straight before you blast someone. And if you’re talking spot monkeys, JoMo is a shoe in.

    • billy

      your right. aj gm wtf makes me hate wrestling

  • Me.

    Wheee, more social stupidity. If 1/3 of the show is going to be this, I'm done watching.

  • Me.

    Why do I always hear Tazz when Lesnar's music hits?

    "well, …. here comes the pain!"

    • Adam

      It's the same with me.

  • Brandon

    WWE needs to slow the storylines down and make sense. AJ gets a little attention and they shove her down our throats. Gonna be old in 2 weeks.

  • Bluetrooperair

    All hype no action….the best part of the show is the flashbacks….AJ as gm is horrible..

  • mark freeman

    this is awesome.

    • Ken

      Wrong way wwe. Punk a bad guy again bullsh*t. Turn cena if you were ginna turn one of the two faces of wwe

    • Ken

      Wrong way wwe. Punk a bad guy again BS. Why didn’t you Turn cena if you were gonna turn one of the two faces of wwe

      • http://wwe.com Hockeymadness50

        Wat the hell u talking bout. Cena won’t turn heel. He’s the face of WWE

  • C.J. Lewis

    Why is JR not calling the title match? Not cool!

  • Matt

    No stone cold?

  • Creative stuff!

    Now that was at turn of events…Didn't quite see that coming from Punk!

  • ldb

    where the heck was scsa?!!!

    • http://wwe.com Hockeymadness50

      Probably filming some of Grown Ups 2

  • AnacondaVise

    I can't believe the glass didn't break…

  • Kings of Wrestling

    YES i was waiting for Punk to turn heel. Bought time. Best raw in years.

    • Gary

      and that decision sucks…and ruins a great match with the Rock and what could have been a GREAT outcome for Punk ….now as heel…the outcome is obvious.

  • Kleck

    No Stone Cold? Even with this more than historical show…I am surprised.

  • Ranfery25

    WWE gave the Universe what they wanted!

    • Joe O.

      And exactly what was that? I’d like to know cuz I didn’t WANT a heel turn for CM Punk.

  • tmcveigh

    Can we veto any plans for Daniel Bryan vs Charlie sheen? Nobody wants to see Bryan get beaten by a two bit actor just so the wwe can gain a little mainstream exposure, and all at the cost of the most talented in ring performer in the company!

  • Russ

    Heal time 4 Cena?

    • http://wwe.com Hockeymadness50

      No. 4 Punk

    • Chris

      Clearly not…

  • Eric

    No Austin?! Is he on bad terms or something? He was shown a bunch in video packages but he's not there in person? Overall the show was a nice trip down memory lane.

    • Austin

      I’m right here. And I don’t remember being show in video packages……….weird.

    • Trey

      What a let down. It was cool seeing all of DX minus Chyna. Adding Stephanie into the mix was a nice touch. Cena turning heel wouldve been more surprising. No Stone cold is an epic fail!!! And bringing undertaker out just to destroy six jobbers is boring as hell. C-

  • Andrew

    Kinda sad we didn't see Texas Rattlesnake.

  • mw

    who
    is smackdown gm

  • Michael

    The show missed having legends in actual matches and no stone cold common man

  • AnacondaVise

    AJ as GM I don't really think is a big deal. I don't think it's going to last long and she will just fill in till they figure out what they want to do at GM and with her.

  • Just Saying

    Anyone else hear the TNA! TNA! chants while Punk was rolling Cena into the ring before the cover? Odd why someone would pay so much for ringside just to shout that… Die hard? Is was clear as day too.

    • James M>>>

      Heard it, one person, probably a paid TNA mark

    • James M>>>

      Heard it, one person, probably a paid TNA mark.

  • http://wwe.com Hockeymadness50

    Punk lost his mind. He probably turned his back on the WWE Universr

  • Austin

    Wait a sec. WWE did something I didn’t see coming…..and it wasn’t stupid!!! CM Punk turning heel is a great decision. This way instead of Punk being the number 2 good guy,he can be the number 1 bad guy. This was the best overall Raw since the 15th anniversary one from 2007. Amazing show.

  • Bryan

    So wait…was that a heel turn for Punk?

  • King

    I enjoyed the show, best in awhile. Lita is still hot, loved seeing DX together again and I hope Punk stays heel. Wwe needs a top heel bad, I mean with Jericho and Ziggler getting some babyface reactions. Seriously though , NO STONE COLD??!! That sucked big time!!

  • An0n

    nice heel turn for punk

  • skeeber04

    Miz is AWESOME!!!!!

  • Dig Baddy

    WelL that wasn't the swerve I wanted to see at the end but hey I love Punk and he's still champ so it's all good. 12 stunners followed by 12 beers would have topped it off though!

  • Joe

    Who cares

  • WyFo

    Well they kinda wasted a MITB briefcase -_-

    • Gary

      I bet you they give it back to Cena and cite some stipulation about the match not being able to end in a DQ or something. Made no sense to use it and just waste it that way. Its not as if someone (The GM) couldn't have simply booked Cena vs Punk b/c of the episode being #1000 without the case being put in use. Cena gets the case back, Rocky beats Punk, Cena challenges at WM and wins back the title…also giving Cena a win over Rocky so they're even out of respect. Each will have a WM win over the other.

    • christopher525

      They gave it to Cena because he's not going to get hurt being the "first to lose" and his loss as a DQ hurts him even less. If it's OK for the challenger to cash in at random, when someone is down, a champ should be able to get a DQ win.

  • Alan

    That could have been alot better. The biggest shocker of the night no stone cold WOW way to drop the ball wwe. I kept waiting for some kind of honor to those who had landmark events on raw, like King on the most raw or I think they said Trip in the most matches. I wish they would brought them to the ring and gave them some props.

  • Flame.L-DW.Leader

    Raw was Awesome the whole dx thing was awesome and i liked how undertaker came back to help kane while kane betrayed him like 2 years ago and buried him but the thing i didnt like was cm punk turning heel he could of beat up big show and should of told referee what happened but im suprise john kicked out while big show knocked him out well cena ruined the streak of the mitb winning champoinships i was excited when Rock came and started to do people's elbow but punk ruined it i hope there not turning punk heel its more better when he is not heel more exciting

  • Bubba J

    Why are people criticizing AJ as the GM? I thought we liked her? Or did the IWC dump her already? Seriously though, wait until the first week of her being GM, then criticize. There is no need to jump the gun. Anyways, the ending to this 1000th RAW was EPIC.

  • Andrew

    So very disappointed that stone cold didn’t show.I was hoping for a round of stunners.Of all the people that should of showed up..he is what made wwe.biggest screw up ever wwe..

  • JasonGaza

    I honestly think it isnt a heel turn. Cm Punk is like the Scorpion(mk) of wwe, he isnt good or bad but everybody still loves him

    • christopher525

      The Punisher, the ultimate "anti-hero."

  • mathew30

    i said this as a tweet , i doubt ANY youngsters new 90% of who appeared tonight

    • Ronnnnn

      True… But I bet 90% of them knew how to spell

    • Mr.Love

      And how to make complete sentences

    • WyFo

      Define “Youngsters”. Im 13 and knew just about everyone. The only one I didn’t know was the man who was the priest at DB and AJ’s wedding.

  • unknown

    i hope it ends up being cm punk vs the rock at the rumble cause the promos will be epic!
    plus am i the only one happy that rey is back because he can surely help sin cara and give him advice and be his mentor so he can adjust to the american style?

  • christopher525

    Am I the only one who thinks someone should step in and tell Undertaker that mohawk deal ain't working for him? Maybe to hit a gym before you're going to be on TV again also? (Pretty bad, as I've been a fan of his for, well as long as he's been with WWF/WWE)

    • Chris

      Yea, not digging the Mohawk

  • Ricky Valdez

    CM PUNK is officially my HERO. DIE ROCKY DIE, that was awesome PUNK kicking dwane Johnson’s ass, die rocky die. IT’S CLOBBERING TIME!!!!!! BEST IN THE WORLD.

    • Gary

      all it means now is that a heel Punk loses to Rocky at The Rumble…so don't get too excited. A babyface Punk going clean over Rocky at the Rumble would have elevated him into the stratosphere. This was the cowards way out by the writing team and its getting annoying.

      • Jman72485

        Who knows? Maybe they’ll put Punk over Rock if they want to keep Punk as a top heel…

      • christopher525

        Maybe Punk wins and Rock decides to enter the Rumble, wins, then goes on to Wrestlemania for one last chance.

    • Bryan

      Wow…Die? Really? I like Punk and everything to, but come on bro. Have some class.

      • Joe O.

        Those were the chants during the Attitude Era when The Rock was heel. Watch some old clips.

  • Ricky Valdez

    It was so good to see the undertaker again still get goosebumbs.

  • jdl

    Did… did Punk just turn heel? Seriously? Uhhh… wow.

    • Gary

      worst writing decision EVER

      • Ronnnnn

        Yep, much worse than having Mike Adamle as GM, or fake Diesel and Razor, or Mordecai.

  • Mayank S

    IMO the biggest pop of the night was Taker and his entrance, he also got the "this is awesome" chants out from the crowd later.

  • Tripp

    Has anyone noticed this was the first time a new champion was not crowned after cashing in the money in the bank briefcase? And John Cena of all people was the first!?! Great turn for punk he will shine

    • Chris

      OH MY!!! NO….I never picked up on that!!! I jest, EVERYONE noticed! The one single thing in your defence here is that somehow the announce team didn't bring that up at all!

      • Tripp

        Defence?

        • Kurt

          Of course! It’s around Deyard.

        • Kurt

          I have one in deyard!

  • Robert

    fans voted for Punk 55%, over Cena 35% to face Rocky…..guess they wanted Cena to stay the top face of the WWe,so made Punk heal to "save Cena"

    • Chris

      Yea, my guess is there were a few endings planned and they waited for the result of the vote to see which one they went with

  • Craigscool88

    Smack down gm more then likely teddy again and I just watched raw to me it could of been ten times better the only bit I really liked was the dx reunion but even that could of been better now I have a question for Richard if he reads this do u reckon wwe should have taker vs all his past wrestlemania opponents vs him in a handicap elimination style (like y2j vs piper snuka and steamboat) match at wrestlemania 29 or 30 and at the end be down to hhh n hbk and maybe end the streak or even keep it going????

    • Chris

      An aging Undertaker, in a match against 17 guys? I'm not even sure what to say to that….

      • Craigscool88

        Well actually the first few could be gone pretty quick I just thought it might be a good way for taker to retire and also have some legends at mania

        • Craigscool88

          He faced Kane twice (i think) Shaun twice and hhh twice and giant Gonzales is dead I think also so it would be like 13-15 and also they could play it as a real “test” for taker to keep he’s streak

          • mark freeman

            HHH 3 times

          • Chris

            Kane twice, HBK twice, Triple H 3 times, and Bossman and Gonzales both passed, So it would be 15 guys….and its still the most stupid idea I ever heard! Stop trying to reason with the non-crazy people

          • Craigscool88

            Yeah so what it’s actually 14 with the two dead they could build it up pretty good and get rid of the older ones pretty quickly in the match and really what is there left for taker wow Brock lesner then what he should already of retired if he can’t work all year why should he headline mania what about the talent that works there arses off all year and arnt on the show

    • Dan

      That is a ridiculous idea.

  • Craigscool88

    I have a question for Richard if he reads this do u reckon wwe should have taker vs all his past wrestlemania opponents vs him in a handicap elimination style (like y2j vs piper snuka and steamboat) match at wrestlemania 29 or 30 and at the end be down to hhh n hbk and maybe end the streak or even keep it going????

  • Gary

    If this is a C.M. Punk heel turn….these writers absolutely suck b/c that ending was horrible. Turn Cena heel…not the hottest guy in the industry for the last year!! I was so looking forward to a Punk/Rock match with Punk as a baby face. Had they done that and put him over Rock…it would have been massive. Now, its a for gone conclusion that Rocky wins the strap at The Rumble. I'm pissed.

    • ericdraven86

      Cena is not going to turn heel for a long time. WWE gets too much good publicity with Cena doing the Make-A-Wish visits. He can’t do those if he is a bad guy.

      • Gary

        I'm aware. I don't care. lol I'm talking from a pure creative writing standpoint.

  • Matt

    Booker T should have been there too!

  • Anderson

    HUGE bummer the Steve Austin wasn’t there!!!

  • http://www.gmail.com Ayush

    Cena – WWE CHAMPION

  • Logan_Walker

    Good Show but i dont think i never seen any divas match

  • Angel Psymon

    Having not watched the show with my own eyes yet, so maybe I'm missing something, but I'm not sure how what was written here makes CM Punk a heel. It sounds very much like the same CM Punk that we've all come to expect. It happened to be The Rock, sure, but if it had been anyone else coming out earlier in the night to say they were going to beat the champion and then later in the night came out to upstage him during his main event, Punk would have destroyed that person either way.

    • ericdraven86

      I am inclined to agree with you. Besides, we know he doesn’t like The Rock because all last summer he was taking shots at him in interviews. I won’t believe this is a heel turn, until I hear a heel promo.

      • Mr.Love

        I don’t think he is doing a full heel turn. It just looked to me he was more conflicted than anything……. I am interested to see where they go with this

  • manips

    is it me, or did the rock shrink?

    • manips

      also, i love the punk swerve. i can’t wait to see him on the mike without the limits that come with being a face.

  • Frankii

    LITA! I loved this! One of the best Raw shows in a while! Im glad we saw the undertaker return! And I’m glad Stephanie showed up too, I would of liked to see SCSA, and I hope to see the Rock vs CM Punk at the Royal Rumble, I think Punk being a heal is great! I’m glad they turned him, and Mai Young and her son I loved how they put that in there lol!

  • Tjones

    Since Big Show interfered doesnt that mean Cena still has his MITB case? Thats how its played out in the past….

    • Chris

      No it doesn't mean that at all. It never has. They only get the case back if the ring bell hasn't sounded to start the match.

  • PainOfDemise

    Great show, only disappointment of the night was that there was n Stone Cold. I can't believe he wasn't there. Other wise than that, there were some good surprises.

  • Tim

    Facial hair makes people look older but it made the Rock look younger now that he shaved he looks a lot older

  • Satan

    Bye bye Stone Cold Bummer, Hello Deadman!

  • Blake

    They really lived up to what they advertisers awsome yes yes yes the brothers of destruction reunite

  • Josh

    I'll be at Raw next week in Cincinnati…should be interesting to see the hangover from this weeks Raw. It will probably open with Punk coming out to cut a heel promo (which I'm personally looking forward to), AJ as the GM (smh), and supposedly the return of Randy Orton in some shape and form…maybe a run-in with Punk or something. Can't wait to see how things unfold.

  • Joe

    Watch next week on raw were gonna hear the same promos as always punks gonna say how he’s not the main event with the title and John cena a kiss ass then cena gonna say how can punk turn his back on the wwe universe blah blah blah get ready summers slam cena/punk wwe championship

  • Anand

    How many of you heard the TNA chants towards the end of the Cena punk main event? When punk was trying to revive the fallen referee and the camera was closed up on punk near the announce area?

    Was kinda awkward. Why would someone try to ruin a classic 1000th episode of a show by taking the name of the Rival?

  • A2H

    OMG, i had forgotten how hot Lita is…
    No wonder she was my favorite diva! She still is..

    • Chris

      Sorry dude, but I'm disappointed in you….How could you forget that?!

  • anonymous

    safe bet…rock over cm punk @ RR; cena over rock @ WM

  • Miikka

    Yeah Edge should have been there and also Batista…
    Cena is getting bored, give us more Miz and Jericho!

  • bettysteve

    *spoiler*? they advertising punk (title holder) vs big show and mr laringytus for the championship on 1st september in australia……. so l kinda knew john cena wouldn't be getting his hands on the title, so…the first ever money in the bank shot….shot, so to speak. *snicker* as a sideline …WWE comin to america this year, for three big shows, we going to start the tour in Miami florida, then we heading to Washington DC, and finally we are going to the Big Apple new york new york, and the stars are all looking to be there. (the rest of the country can fly to the east coast to watch it or get stuffed), thats what australia is getting this year..thanks vince..l gotta live with a wife who, every time the add comes on, berates me cause your not comin back to adelaide (et Houston). thanks again bloke

    • bettysteve

      my bad, just saw the add, its the submission match for the belt betwen cm and danial bryan