RAW Results 1/21/13 – The Rock Is Attacked & Punk Is Threatened

Pre-RAW Commercial

Cole talks about a Beat The Clock Challenge – Barrett, Miz, Sheamus, Cesaro, Orton, Ziggler. And, of course, The Rock is going to be there live.

Show Starts

Video

A lovely short little video for Martin Luther King Jr.

In Ring Segment

Vickie introduces herself and her job title as she comes down the ramp on Heyman’s arm. It’s her job to make sure we’re entertained by this show. Her show. We might not like her personally, but she’s always a professional and does the right thing. As a leader, doing the right is not the same as the popular thing, especially when it comes to The Rock.

Heyman takes a mic and introduces himself. He’s out there in a show of unity and solidarity with Ms. Vickie Guerrero. Last week, right here on RAW, one man took it upon himself to defame not only his character, but also the character of the best GM, and the sexiest GM of this or any other show, and that is The Rock!

Vickie says The Rock did defame him, and everyone should see how atrocious it was. Video of The Rock singing about Heyman. “Rocky!” chants fill the arena.

Heyman says it’s one thing to pick a fight with him, in 6 days The Rock has to face the reigning WWE Champ, CM Punk, but to pick a fight with a poor, defenseless widow like Vickie, well that’s vile, contemptible. The Rock said things about Vickie that he wouldn’t repeat in San Jose. The footage shows itself. They show the footage of The Rock singing to Vickie – the whole song!

Vickie has her head on Heyman’s shoulder. She yells how she’s glad they love how The Rock ran down their appearances last week. That won’t happen tonight. While The Rock is here in San Jose, she’s banned him from entering her arena. If he does,he’ll be arrested by the San Jose Police Dept. Someone ringside says The Rock is there. Vickie cackles about having a camera out there to show The Rock finding out that he can’t enter her arena.

Of course Vickie Guerrero bars The Rock from getting in the people’s ring. She’s wants to screw the people, The People’s Champion. She’s probably in the middle of the ring now looking like she just swallowed a jar of stink pickles. The Rock tells them they have a job to do, but The Rock will be clear, there’s not an entity or force that will Zeke The Rock from getting in the middle of the people’s ring and entertain them.

One of the officers tells The Rock that if he goes in, they will have to arrest him.

The Rock goes off about The Rock being arrested. They’re going to arrest The Rock? Before you arrest The Rock, there’s a lot of people to arrest before you arrest The Rock. (The Rock falls to giggles through this a bit.) He says you would have to arrest Punk for impersonating a Champion. As a matter of fact, he’s a lot like Manti Te’o. Instead of having an imaginary girlfriend, he has an imaginary nut sack. Arrest Heyman for not wearing a bra in public. He’s not wearing one right now. His bouncing Slinky breasts are scaring the children! How about this, he has to arrest The Rock, why not arrest Vickie Guerrero… No, wait, when you see Vickie, ask what her intestines look like. Exactly! If she think The Rock is going to stand there and not get in the ring in some fashion, then Vickie has her head shoved straight up her ass.

They’ve never met, but they know him. The Rock is relentless. With all due respect there’s no way, and THE ROCK MEAN NO WAY, that in San Jose, he’s not getting in the middle of the ring. It’s now a question of if. Its’ a matter of when.

Back in the ring Vickie bellows at the fans. You think that’s funny? The fans clearly do. EXCUSE ME! The Rock may talk a tough game, but if he comes in her arena, he will be singing Jailhouse Rock. If you smell… EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! If you smell… What The Vic is Cookin’!

Announce Segment

King says he has a feel The Rock will be in the ring tonight. Cole talks about the Beat The Clock Challenge. The Superstars who wins his match the fastest will pick his number for the Royal Rumble Match.

>Commercial

Beat The Clock Challenge Match – Cesaro vs Orton

Cesaro is in the ring waving his USA flag. Orton’s music hits and he comes slowly to the ring.

They circle. Cesaro quickly rolls Orton for two. Orton into a corner and rolls Cesaro up for two. Orton knocks Cesaro to the mat for two. Hammerlock on Orton who reverses and is reversed into a side headlock on Orton. Cesaro takes Orton down in the headlock, and keeps it on until they’re up. Cesaro with a shoulder block on Orton for two. Side headlock back on Orton. “Randy!” chants. To the ropes and Cesaro doesn’t give a clean break. Blows to Orton and Cesaro runs the ropes and into a Thesz Press. Blows on Cesaro, then Orton kicks Cesaro in the chest and runs his laces over Cesaro’s face. Cesaro grabs Orton in a small package for two. Drop kick on Cesaro for two.

Cesaro rolls out, Orton out with a clothesline, then rolls Cesaro back in for two. 3:00 into the match and both are on the mat.

>Commercial

Orton backed into a corner. Orton set up top, Cesaro climbs. Cesaro sets Orton up, but Orton with blows and knocks Cesaro down. Orton with blows, but Cesaro up and pushes Orton off the corner to the floor. Cesaro out and grabs Orton to send him back into the ring for two. Cesaro picks Orton up in a gut wrench and flings him. Cesaro pins Orton for two, twice. 8:20 and Cesaro locks on a reverse chinlock. Orton up and free through blows. Orton rushes Cesaro and into a scoop slam that Orton does a lot of the work.

Back to the reverse chinlock on Orton. Cesaro whipped, gets a foot up, but runs into Orton’s clotheslines. Power slam from Orton. Cesaro to the apron, but Cesaro counters with a jackknife counter at 10:00! Sick upper cut on Orton for two. Cesaro pins Orton again, but only gets two for his trouble. Cesaro pulls Orton to his knees, then to his feet. Orton shoulder first into the corner post. Orton hits the floor outside.

Cesaro out and sends Orton back into the ring. Cesaro slides in and eats an RKO for three.

Winner – Orton (11:36)

Orton celebrates in the ring while Cole talks about the other opponents and how they have to beat Orton’s time to pick their Royal Rumble Match number.

Announce Segment

Cole talks about the HOF Ceremony at MSG the night before WrestleMania. They go into the Foley video we didn’t get to see last week on RAW, but was shown on Smackdown last Friday.

Video

Ambrose tells us to open our eyes, or they will open them for us. Video from The Shield’s first appearance and putting Ryback through announce. It goes on to show clips of their attacks, and them talking about justice and consequences for Sheamus, Miz, Orton and Ryback. They don’t just talk about injustice, they’ve rectified it. Believe in The Shield! They’re just getting started.

>Commercial

Big Show vs Ryder

Big Show out to the ring looking rather mad. Video of Big Show defending against ADR two weeks ago on ADR in a Last Man Standing Match for the WHC! ADR rolled the announce table onto Big Show so Big Show couldn’t get to his feet by the count of ten, so ADR won the WHC. Breaking news – Big Show demanded from Booker, ADR will face Big Show in a Last Man Standing Match at Royal Rumble! Ryder out to the ring to face Big Show. Maddox is suddenly there, between Cole and King, surprising them. Cole is pissed that he’s there and yells that he’s not employed by the company and has no right to be there.

Big Show on Ryder,beating him down in a corner. Maddox took a chair and a head set and started talking. He said there was a positive reaction on Twitter, so he’s back. Big Show punches out Ryder. A knee on Ryder’s chest for three.

Winner – Big Show (0:50)

Maddox is leaving as Cole asks where security is. Big Show says he wants to give a preview of his Last Man Standing Match with ADR. Big Show starts to count, his foot on Ryder’s chest. Big Show got to 4 and the ‘What’s!’ started. Big Show got pissed, threw his mic down and stomped off. Video recap of Big Show’s right to Ryder. Ryder is shaking his head trying to get his bearings on the mat.

>Commercial

Backstage Segment

Heyman, on his cell says there’s no way The Rock will get in the arena tonight. Maddox is there with his cameraman. He says like Heyman, he always wanted to be famous. Like Heyman, he’ll do anything to keep his dream alive. Heyman says he admires his initiative. Heyman says he was wrong about Maddox. Stick with Heyman, he’ll make his dreams come true. Maddox finishes his little video and heads off as Heyman dials his cell.

Slater vs Ryback

3MB are in the ring flopping around with their air instruments. Ryback out to face Slater.

They circle, then lock up, but Slater tossed into a corner. He comes back with a kick to Ryback’s knee and blows, but it doesn’t last as Ryback takes him down hard. Spinebuster on Slater. “Feed me more!” from the fans. Meathook clothesline to Slater. Drew and Mahal up. Mahal brought in the hard way. Mahal tossed into a Drew on the apron. They both fall hard. Slater up, Ryback marches, shellshocked for three.

Winner – Ryback (1:20)

Video recap of the high points of the match. Ryback has a mic and says, “Damn, my job is fun!” This Sunday is his first Royal Rumble Match. It’s a match he’s made for, one he will thrive on. It will lead him to the main event of WrestleMania. “Feed me more!” “Feed me more!”

Backstage Segment

The Rock with the police officers. The Rock says they’ve been out there an hour. The Rock needs to get in the ring live tonight. Protect and serve, they’re not there to protect and serve Vickie Guerrero. They’re there to protect and serve the people. It’s always been about the people. They all work hard for what they’ve got, and how they got there. They worked hard to see The Rock who is there to electrify, to move and shake this city like never before! They know what it’s like when The Rock’s music hits – If you smelllll…! The roof blows off the arena. All over the world it’s an experience. A lifetime experience. If you listen to the 15,000 strong in San Jose chanting The Rock’s name for the world. It’s about the people!

One of the officers says he actually had tickets for tonight, his wife and kid are out there right now. Does he still have his ticket? Yes, he does.

EXCUSE ME! He’s disturbing everyone, arrest him!

An officer says he’s sorry Miss Guerrero, as long as Dwayne is out there, they can’t arrest him.

Vickie says whatever she says, they will do, or they will be suspended. And The Rock, while he’s out there, in the ring Punk will be addressing the fans next. If The Rock wants to apologize, she will lift the banishment. It better be damn good.

“Apologize to you?”

“Damn right!”

The Rock says there’s two problems with that Vickie. The first is The Rock is going to get in the people’s ring, but on his terms, not hers. And problem two, and this is one she should understand for life. Problem number two, beotch. You still look horrible tonight!

Vickie screams in fury and crashes through the police officers on her way out.

The Rock says he has an idea.

>Commercial

Video

RAW Roulette next Monday on RAW from Los Vegas!

In Ring Segment

Punk out wearing a hoodie over his ring gear, hugging his WWE Championship to his chest, Heyman in tow. Punk gets some pop in with the heat. Punk holds his belt as Heyman holds the mic for him. What he has there he holds more dear to his heart than most men hold their families. For 428 days he’s proven he’s the man. 428 days is a fraction of the time it’s taken him to get to this point. He’s worked half his life to attain this. The most prestigious Title the WWE has to offer. He won’t allow The Rock or any man to take it from him. The hood is pushed down.

The Rock is there to entertain. The Rock is there to electrify. The Rock is there to sing songs and tell jokes. He’s there to hurt people and be the Champion. He won’t allow The Rock to leave the Royal Rumble the Champ. That’s why he’s there. It’s important because Punk’s made it important. It’s prestigious because Punk’s made it prestigious. What’s prestigious to The Rock is the most meaningless insignificant thing imaginable. The people. The cheers. The chants. The signs. The Rock’s proud of being The People’s Champion, almost as proud as Punk is of being the real Champion. He won’t allow The Rock to become WWE Champion. He’s been in the ring with The Rock, looked in his eye, seen into his soul and saw why he’s so proud of being The People’s Champion, because he knows he cannot be THAT! Punk holds out the belt. “Rocky!” chants.

A long time ago he was forced to make a choice between hypocritical humility and honest arrogance. He chose honest arrogance while The Rock foolishly chose all of us. We can call him electrifying, the Brahma Bull, The People’s Champion, but we can’t call him Champion. Because this (the belt) belongs to Punk. This you earn with blood, sweat and tears. For 428 days he’s done just that. He’s earned it. He’s earned the right to be the Champ. He’s earned the right to be the man. This, The Rock, is what you’re on a collision course with in six days. For six days, please, by all means, enjoy being The People’s Champion, enjoy the people. The cheers. The chants. The signs. Shake every hand, enjoy every wink the sheep-like fans give you, because he learned a long time ago the people do not matter. This is all that matters. In six days, the Royal Rumble, it doesn’t matter if he smells what The Rock is cooking. All that matters is what the people can’t give you will remain rightfully around the waist of your Undisputed WWE Champion, Best In The World, CM Punk. Punk stares as he holds the belt high over his head. Heyman looks up at it thoughtfully from behind.

>Commercial

Beat The Clock Challenge Match – Ziggler w/ Big E & AJ vs Miz

Ziggler out to the ring with Big E and AJ in tow. Miz out to face him. Video of Flair passing the figure 4 on Miz.

Drop kick on Ziggler for two. Miz rolls Ziggler upfor two. A few guys chant, “Let’s go Ziggler!” Miz takes Ziggler down for two, then again for two. Dopt takes Miz down for two. Side healdock on Miz. Miz pushes out, over and under Ziggler, then takes him down for two. They go back and forth with pins, but only for two. Drop kick from Ziggler for two. Neck breaker from Ziggler for two. More chants for Ziggler, and more than just a couple guys chanting! Chinlock on Miz. Ziggler up on Miz’s back until Miz to a knee. Miz to her feet, then slams Ziggler into a corner and then slams Ziggler to the mat. Miz on Ziggler with blows. A kick to Ziggler, then to his face. A SICK chop block on Ziggler. Elbow drop to Ziggler’s knee, then a knee to Ziggler’s knee and Miz sets up, but Ziggler sends Miz flying from the ring. Big E is there and sends Miz into the side of the ring. Ziggler out and sends Miz into the ring. Ziggler pins Miz for a long two.

>Commercial

Chinlock and body scissors on Miz, but he’s up with a sunset for two. A kick to Ziggler’s face for two. Both regroup a bit as Miz looks at the clock. They’re up and exchange blows. Miz on Ziggler in a corner with blows. The ref pulls Miz off. Miz with his big clothesline in a corner. Miz up and double ax handle off the top for two. Miz pounds the mat, then tries for his SCF, but reversed. Ziggler plants Miz for a long two. AJ is freaking outside the ring. Miz with his back breaker, but reversed away. Miz gets the figure 4 on, but AJ on the apron and Big E pulls Ziggler to the ropes. Miz has to break the hold. Ziggler out, Miz out to drag him back in. Miz with two on Ziggler, but kicked out. Big E distracts and Ziggler hits his zig-zag for three.

Winner – Ziggler (10:56)

They celebrate outside the ring with hugs as Miz is looking ruffled and pissed inside the ring.

Announce Segment

Cole talks about the Fan Interactive Pannels. King will be on the Montreal Screw Job Panel between Bret Hart and HBK. Cole will be on the DX Panel. Next Kane and Bryan will graduate from Anger Management.

>Commercial

WWE Slam of the Week

Team Rhodes Scholars going off on Dr. Shelby being crappy and they should see Dr. Phil. THN beat up Rhodes and Sandow and went to their happy place together.

Anger Management Graduation

The ring is all set up for graduation. Dr. Marion Shelby introduces himself at the podium with a big smile, wearing a black robe and mortar board with gold tassel. He’s so proud of Kane and Bryan. They’re the first ever graduates of his Anger Management Course and our TTCs, Team Hell No! Fire erupts and both out in gown. Bryan’s hair is slicked over and back! “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” from the fans.

Shelby wants to look at how far they’ve come. Kane, when he first came, he was a maniacal, mask wearing monster who preferred hurting to hugging. (Kane smirks and nods through this.) Bryan, when they first started, he was a tightly wound little man child who would snap when anyone said anything about his goat face, or that his beard looks like a hotel for rats. (Kane has to hold Bryan by the collar so he won’t kill Shelby because he’s fuming! Kane whispers to Bryan.) Shelby goes on to say they’re calm, peaceful and ready to graduate.
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Shelby give Kane his diploma and mortar board. Then Bryan gets his. “YES!” chants from the fans. Shelby moves their tassels to the other sides for them. Shelby says traditionally in a graduation ceremony the top student is chosen as valedictorian, and that student gets to talk about their feelings. Since he doesn’t give grades, he thought as a final exercise who do they think should be valedictorian? Bryan and Kane look at each other.

Kane says, obviously, that would be Daniel.

“NO!” I think it should be Kane.

I think it should be Daniel.

I think Kane should talk about his feelings.

Daniel has never had a problem shutting his mouth in the past, why should he start now?

You are the valedictorian!

NO! You are the valedictorian!

They go back and forth like this at the top of their lungs.

Shelby yells, “Guys!” until they stop. Shelby asks Bryan if a hug would make him feel better? “Dr. Shelby!” chants from the fans fill the arena.

Bryan says maybe.

Shelby asks Kane if a hug would make him feel better?

I guess.

Shelby says, how about everyone everywhere hugs at the same time?

Bryan asks, everyone?

Everyone?

Bryan asks about Cole and King?

Shelby says they’ll hug.

Cole says it’s a good idea, it’s graduation time. Cole is up. King finally gets up and they hug.

Bryan asks about Dr. Sampson and Justin Roberts?

Shelby says they should hug.

They get up and hug.

Kane asks about these three guys?

Three guys in the front – two in ‘Layeth The Smacketh Down t-shirts, and the 3rd in a Boots To Faces shirt. They happily hug for the TV time.

Bryan asks about these guys? The one in the “YES!” shirt and mustache and his friend?

Shelby says they’ll hug. The guy in the “YES!” shirt is for it, the other one not so much, but he does it.

Kane asks about them with the yell Kane and Bryan sign?

They hug.

Bryan asks about those guys up there? Bryan gets everyone hugging. Bryan is going crazy over the hugs, as is Shelby and Kane.

Everyone hug – 1-2-3 – hug! They group hug in the ring, and bounce together, Shelby with a huge smile on his face.

>Commercial

WWE Rewind

After quite a fight Kaitlyn defeated Eve for the Divas Title last week. Eve then quit the WWE.

Fox vs Kaitlyn

Fox in purple and black in the ring. Kaitlyn out in black pants and a taupe mesh tank over a black bra.

Fox kicks Kaitlyn, then sends her face first into the corner three times. Fox fought back taking Fox down and outside. Backstage Tamina is watching on a monitor. Kaitlyn off the apron onto Fox. Fox taken down, then sent in. Fix with a knee to Kaitlyn’s face as she got in. Leg scissors, then clothesline to Kaitlyn for two. King says all female despise each other as Fox with a reverse chinlock on Kaitlyn. Snap mare on Kaitlyn, then Fox rushes Kaitlyn in a corner with a high kick, but Kaitlyn ducks and Fox into a split with a foot up on the top buckle. Fox free and eats a spear for three.

Winner – Kaitlyn (2:06)

Kaitlyn celebrates while holding the side of her face.

Backstage Segment

Heyman tells Punk he’s worked too hard, so he’s arranged a luxury sky box at his own expense. He wants Punk to watch Heyman’s message to The Rock. It’s not a pipe bomb, but a Paul bomb, and it’s dedicated to Punk – next.

Commercial

In Ring Segment

Heyman is in the ring and tells Punk that this one is for him. We might not know this about him, but he’s not only the voice of the voice, of the voiceless – he serves as Punk’s friend, advocate, strategist, and adviser. When Punk was out there before, so much of what he said went over their heads as it’s hard to keep up with the most articulate, intelligent WWE Champ of all time. He will serve Punk’s interest as his interpreter. That means Heyman will keep it simple for us. See, so many think it’s fait accompli that… There he goes again! It’s a forgone conclusion that The Rock is leaving the Royal Rumble as the Champ, but he isn’t. VKM is a tyrant and desperate for anyone to beat Punk for the WWE Championship. January’s flavor of the month is The Rock. The Rock might be concerned with what Heyman has going on down there (that place I don’t want to think about Heyman even having), and he doesn’t want to think about what Heyman has up here (the brain type area), but if he’s concentrating on Heyman, then he’s not concentrating on Punk. On Sunday The Rock isn’t facing Heyman, he’s facing Punk, the longest reigning WWE Champ of the past 25 years! In other words, just like the people, The Rock is stupid!

If you smelllll… What The Rock is Cookin’! Out comes The Rock to the stage. He pulls a ticket out of his pocket. Must be the police officer’s ticket! The Rock to the ring as Punk watches from so far above. The Rock to the ring and poses. Into the ring and Trip poses again as the fans go wild! Punk polishes his belt over his shoulder as The Rock stares up at Punk. Punk looks at his lack of watch.

The fans are wild for The Rock with cheers and chants. The Rock says to the San Jose Police Dept, The Rock say thank you for the ticket!

Heyman goes off that the ticket doesn’t allow him to step in…

The Rock tells Twinkie Tits to get out of the ring of The Rock will slap the taste right of of his mouth! Heyman leaves the ring.

The Rock looks up at Punk again. Stares at Punk. The Rock say 428 he’s been WWE Champion. King of the mountain. It’s incredible. It’s historic. The Rock knows how bad ass Punk is, how tough he is, how dangerous he is. Punk has earned the right to call himself the Best In The World! It does not change the fact that tonight here, on RAW, is his last night on RAW as WWE Champion. “Rocky!” chants fill the arena. Punk’s obsessed with how The Rock entertains and how proud he is to be The People’s Champion. You bet your ass he is. But that doesn’t change the fact that when you take it all away, you’ve got a man who will stand in front of Punk in the ring, outside the ring, out in the street and will rip your face off!

Punk gives a drowsy stare.

“Boots To Asses!” chants. The Rock has waited ten long years for this shot. He’s worked his ass off for this shot. Blood, sweat and respect. The first two he gives, the last he’s earned over the past ten years. Just like Martin Luther King had a dream, The Rock has a dream to climb the mountain top and go to the promise land one more time and become WWE Champion. Punk, if you looked into The Rock soul, like he said he did, then Punk knows that he promised to beat Punk at the Royal Rumble for the WWE Title. When that’s done on Sunday, and he promises it will. Every man, woman, and child, from Bangkok to Brazil, from to Moscow to Miami, all the way around the world, right back to San Jose (pop). Sunday night when The Rock is WWE Champ, they will be saying, free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

Punk says, off mic, (I think), Oh my God.

If you smelllll… What The Rock is Cookin’!

The lights go out!

The lights come back up and The Shield is beating The Rock down in a corner. The Rock starts to mount a comeback, but The Shield is too much for him. The Rock is beaten down. They then lift him up and his cousin(?) helps hit the three man power bomb on The Rock. The Shield poses over The Rock before leaving.

Punk with a mic says, bad news Rock, on top of that mountain there’s only room for one man. Free at last? You’ve got to pay a price for your freedom. It’s cute you have a dream though. The problem is that you have to wake up from them. And when he wakes up, he’ll realize that The Great One just wasn’t great enough to beat the Best In The World.

The Rock is lolling on the mat, head down, drooling blood on the mat as Punk holds his belt high. “Rocky!” chants brings him to a sitting position, but only barely.

>Commercial

Video

A longer video for Martin Luther King Jr., including speech clips to go with the video and pictures shown. A bit of narration and buzz words on the screen, but the message comes through.

Announce Segment

Cole talks about The Rock promising to win the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble. Then the lights went out and when they came up The Shield attacked and served their form of justice on The Rock. King goes off that this is all about Punk and that The Rock will be facing him this Sunday. Cole says The Rock made it to his feet and walked out under his own power – good news for those who want to see The Rock Sunday. King says we all saw the blood that could be internal bleeding.

Beat The Clock Challenge Match – Sheamus vs Barrett

Sheamus to the ring. Barrett out to face him. 10:56 is the time to beat.

They lock up and muscle around until Sheamus into a corner, but he gets a side headlock on Barrett and takes him down. They then muscle and tussle around some more, Barrett into a corner and Sheamus with a clean break Barrett with a kick as Ziggler, AJ and Big E watch a monitor backstage. Barrett backed into a corner and takes some shoulder blocks. Sheamus whipped, but out with a clothesline on Barrett. Sheamus gets Barrett up and rolls through for two.

Sheamus kicks Barrett, but Barrett back with a big clothesline sending Sheamus from the ring and left holding his upper arm. Sheamus laid across the corner and Barrett with a big kick to the gut of Sheamus, as Barrett slapped his own leg for the noise. Barrett pins for two. Down to 4:40. An arm hold on Sheamus on the mat. Sheamus up and throws some punches to get free. Barrett fights back. Sheamus runs the ropes and hits his ax handles to Barrett’s head, then a high knee form sh, Barrett ducks Sheamus, but sent to the apron for ten forearms. Sheamus suplexes Barrett into the ring for two.

Sheamus sets up, but Barrett wiggles free. Barrett on Sheamus’ shoulder again, but Sheamus reverses. Barrett ducks the brogue kick. A couple big kicks to Sheamus, the second to the jaw for a long two. Barrett to the second ropes, drops an elbow for two. 2:00 left. Sheamus slow to his feet, so Barrett pulls him up. Barrett gets Sheamus up, but Sheamus elbows free. Sheamus gets Barrett up and hits white noise. Sheamus looks at the clock, watching it count down, calls for the brogue kick. Ziggler, AJ and Big E rush the ring. AJ into the ring, but out the other side – distracting Sheamus as she does it. Barrett hits a side slam on Sheamus for two. Both men are down. Brogue kick, but the time runs out.

Winner – N/A

Sheamus is seething as he stare up the ramp at the retreating Ziggler, Big E and AJ. Video recap of AJ skipping through the ring to distract Sheamus long enough for Ziggler to be the true winner of the Beat The Clock Challenge. Ziggler, Big E and AJ are still all smiles and laughing. Sheamus is pissed!

>Commercial

Backstage Segment

Vickie in her office and Ziggler comes in with AJ and Big E. AJ congratulates Ziggy, then they make out. He sings telling AJ she looks wonderful tonight. Vickie cuts Ziggler off and says that she didn’t say he could pick any number, he can pick either #1 or #2. AJ is seething as Vickie leaves laughing.

Video

Recap of The Shield attack on The Rock. Will this effect that The Rock promised the ‘Universe’ that he’d win on Sunday.

Backstage Segment

Punk and Heyman are walking along laughing. Heyman looks at his watch and says it’s time for The Rock to know his role and shut his mouth. They walk up on VKM who isn’t happy.

You guys think you’re pretty clever, huh?

Punk says he and Heyman had nothing to do with The Shield.

VKM says that if The Shield gets involved at the Royal Rumble, he will be clever enough to come up with some severe consequences.

Punk yells that he was up in the sky box!

VKM says that they’re not stupid!

Heyman goes on about all the people The Shield have attacked. There’s no evidence.

VKM says if The Shield gets involved, VKM will strip Punk of the WWE Championship. VKM stomps off leaving Heyman and Punk rather unhappy.

>Commercial

Announce Segment

Cole talks about VKM telling Punk that if The Shield gets involved in his match on Sunday, VKM will personally strip Punk of the WWE Title.

ADR w/ Ricardo vs Tensai

Ricardo out with his bucket and announces ADR who comes out on foot again, black scarf around his neck. Tensai is already in the ring (sorry if I slip and call him Albert).

Tensai with blows on ADR. Head butts to ADR’s shoulder in a corner. ADR is whipped and falls. Tensai up and splashes ADR. Tensai up and splashes again for two. Tensai rushes ADR and eats feet. Flying head scissors off the top rope, then a sick belly to back suplex (King called it belly-to-belly). Kick to the side of Tensai’s head and ADR up. ADR hits his moonsault (mostly missing, but beautifully hit) for three.

Winner – ADR (1:31)

ADR says it won’t be Big Show counting at the Royal Rumble, it will be ADR counting, and in Spanish! ADR gets the fans counting in Spanish with him, then Ricardo get the ‘Si!’ chants going. King then calls him Roberto Del Rio, Cole calls him on this one.

Announce Segment

Cole talks about the Road To WrestleMania, and how it’s a week long event. King talks about how much happens that week, and this time in the Big Apple. They are announcing the second inductee into the WWE HOF – Bob Backlund! They show a great video about his career. His first reign as WWF Champion was for 6 years! He was beat only by Bruno Sammartino. Backlund left for a while, when he returned he was a heel, but that didn’t last terribly long and he became Champ again. Cole says Backlund was a major reason he loved wrestling as a kid.

Backstage Segment

Cena is heading for the ring.

>Commercial

In Ring Segment

Cena out to the stage and says, that’s the way to San Jose. It’s true, it’s calling my name. Cena to the ring and grabs a mic, then poses and his music keeps going. When it stops the heat can be heard.

Lively bunch tonight, huh? Cena laughs through the heat and holds the mic out. They probably had a restful weekend, because on the 7th day is rest. Traditionally the 7th day was rest. Like him or not, it’s a day to do what you want. Cena points to one kid who looks like he could be Sheamus’ little brother, but wearing a Ryback shirt. Cena says he’s sure he likes Sunday as it’s a day off from school, right? Homework is always done early, right? He calls his friends and go out and play, right? Wait, kids today don’t use the phone and don’t go out and play. They probably play video games, right? You’re the 10th level prestige keeping me at noob on Black Ops 2, aren’t you? The kid nods and smiles. You’re ruining my cyber life, can you please give me a break? Between you and me, when we’re playing the game, my username is… Cena looks embarrassed, then says his username is skidmarks187. Don’t laugh, this is a judgment free Zone! I’m a grown man, I eat Fruity Pebbles, I play video games, I do what I want on a Sunday!

Like you, young lady in the hat and white shirt. He’s sure her Sundays are spent reliving her Saturdays. Lady’s night out, have some fun. Then on Sunday get up and post a few pictures, but only the ones you’re in, we know the rules. Probably off to the gym with a 12$ coffee, then yoga class and post a pic of you doing the downward dog. (Cena gives eyebrow here to show his meaning, because we have no clue what the innuendo is – as if she wasn’t blushing enough already.) Then back to the apartment and YouTube. Listen to some Taylor Swift, manage your last breakup, or maybe some Nicki Minaj because you met a guy last night you might have a future with. Here’s the problem with the guy you met last night is right there (the chubby guy who didn’t want to hug his friend earlier).

And you sir, I have lived your Sunday a thousand times. Wake up about 2pm surrounded by bodily fluids. Maybe yours, maybe not, I don’t know. There’s a receipt in your pocket for 168 Jager Bombs and two blow up dolls. And you can only find one doll. There’s a beautiful tattoo of Judge Joe Brown on your left shoulder and you have no idea how it got there. On top of that you find out you’ve Bret Farve’d yourself on Facebook. That don’t mean throwing a touchdown.

What he’s saying is that they all do different things on Sunday, except this Sunday! Because everybody in this building knows this Sunday is the Royal Rumble Match. And everyone around the world knows that if you win the Royal Rumble Match, you’ve got a golden ticket to WrestleMania! Right now everybody in the WWE ‘Universe’ is picking who they think will win or not win this Sunday. This Sunday, unlike any other Sunday, Superstars can be born! History can be made! This Sunday will be an all out war! (Very little reaction to Cena here.) So this Sunday, the video games will be on pause, the yoga at home, the hangovers have to wait to Sunday night. Whether you’re in Phoenix, Arizona or watching at home, the world will find out what he already knows! Dueling chants for Cena.

“This Sunday I will win the Royal Rumble!”

Sheamus’ music hits and he comes out and says it was a bizarre, creative, yet passionate speech, but he has it wrong, the man who wins the Royal Rumble this year is the man who won it last year. It’s a simple case of deja vous…

Prime Time Players’ music hit and out they come, O’Neil with his annoying whistle. He asks what he’s talking about fella? Saying he’s going to win the Royal Rumble…

Orton’s music and out he comes and says he didn’t come out to dance or talk deja vous, but he could. He came out to say you’re looking at the man who’s going to win the Royal Rumble.

Miz’s music and he comes out with really? Really? Really? He’s going to make it short and sweet. He’s going to win the Royal Rumble and go on to main event WrestleMania again because I’m the Miz and I’m…

Fire erupts and Bryan comes out with Kane. He asks Kane if he’s shocked that they’re all arguing about who’s going to win? Kane says he’s going to win the Royal Rumble Match. That starts them arguing.

Cesaro comes out and says he’s going to win the Royal Rumble Match and will dedicate his victory to his home away from home, the USA.

3MB comes out. Slater’s mic doesn’t work at first, then Drew says they’re delusional. Mahal says one member will record their name into history after they win the Royal Rumble Match.

The ring fills with more men and they all fight. Khali, Clay, Rhodes, McGillicutty, Usos, Yoshi. McGillicutty throws someone out of the ring. Gabriel, Young, Drew, McGillicutty are all tossed out of the ring. More fighting in the ring from Ryback. Another member of 3MB tossed out as RAW fades out.

Biggest pop
The Rock
ADR
Orton

Biggest heat
Punk
Vickie/Heyman
The Shield

Most mixed
Ziggler
Cena

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  • http://twitter.com/DrewFem97 AndrewF

    20th Anniversary?

  • http://www.facebook.com/adsorules1 Adam Oularbi

    Lol the 20th anniversary was last week

  • disqus_S9PotUJOPF

    20th Anniversary? Etf?

  • TheFinalEntrant

    The winner will surely pick #30. Predictable.

  • Jon

    raw is off ot a very good start

  • Kleck

    Zach Ryder, thanks for coming…

    • Nostaljack

      Not a good sign for him at all.

  • BigMike7302

    WHo is the next HOF person? I would LOVE it if The Fabulous Ones (( Stan lane and Steve Kiern)) were inducted as well as Adrian Adonis that would be so awesome

  • Dixon

    Sheamus wins royal rumble, challenges ziggler after he cash in on del rio in elimation chamber

  • James Tee

    I’m pretty sure that Jinder Mahal’s accent changes every week

  • AndrewMcCutchen22

    How bad do you gotta suck to be a lackey to Heath Slater?

  • John

    Way to go WWE and USA for screwing the pooch on that ending!!! Going off before they send someone off with “momentum” to Royal Rumble!!!

    • shadow

      brawls like that never have an ending. would cause way too much overrun time wise.

  • The Breaker

    Why can’t Cena just come out and cut a straightforward promo for once instead of trying his hand at comedy? Sure, Super Cena is annoying after 10 years of the same ol’ crap, but this has been going on for just as long and is unequivocally intolerable. I like the notion of actually PROMOTING the Rumble match, but why do we have to put a mic in Cena’s hand to do it?

    • Pluto

      For the same reasons why they gotta put a mic in Punk’s hands too prmote his match. Cena is clearly biggest name in the Rumble this year so he’s the guy who gets the mic time. Plain & Simple.

      • The Breaker

        Right, I know, he is the face of the company. But they don’t need to do the same thing where he’s standing in the middle of the ring making bad jokes and barely getting the point across. The crowd was dead during that segment, because what he was saying was so off the rails.

        There are many ways to promote a match or event. For example, they could set up a backstage interview or possibly just bring another person out there for an in-ring segment so Cena will be more focused. They could also create a video package featuring Cena where he could hype the Rumble match. It allows for the editing team to work its magic and make the overall thing more attractive. Or hey, crazy idea, put him in the ring to work a match against other competitors in the Rumble. Storylines can be created just as effectively through actions as they are words. And in Cena’s case, I’d be more likely to be entertained by the former.

        • monty

          in your mind punk is the face of wwe but in reality cena is he actual face of wwe, its not even close. i am neither a cena nor punk fan but while cena is boring,dull atleast he hasn’t had the title in a while so when he does it will feel frsh. punk has been nothing but boring and stale. each of his title match in last 3-4 months have had the same boring ending. its time for his days as wwe champ to be over and to not get the title again for hopefully a year

          • The Breaker

            The fact that WWE has booked Punk with Ryback for the past few months is why we’ve gotten so many non-finishes. None of the blame for that belongs to Punk, but creative.

            I didn’t realize until recently how many Punk haters there are in the IWC. What a difference a 400+ day title reign makes. I will give you this: it has never been easier to hate CM Punk. And that is exactly why he is the heel of all heels right now in WWE and probably all of wrestling right now.

          • Gary Robert

            He’s the only reason I even tune in these days. Best in-ring work and best mic work. Yeah, he sucks, lol.

          • Pluto

            It’s the name of the game. People,hate just to hate. Some people will shit on Punk just b/c he’s had the title for such a long time, no matter what good he does people are going too discredit it just because they can’t be objective and get passed their own emotions. Same can be said for Cena haters, people will hate on him just too hate and because he’s had long title reigns himself and because they don’t know how too be objective. And same could be said for the the HHH haters we got from a decade ago wgo shitted on his title reign just to do it. I’ve never understood why people complain so much about the product but continue too watch. If they hate Punk or Cena so much then just turn too TNA. Problem solved

          • Gary Robert

            You’re neither a Cena or Punk fan….who the Hell do you actually like as a fan of WWE?

          • Pluto

            I know this may come as a surprise for most, maybe even hard for most of the IWC too comprehend but it’s actually possible too like both of them (as I do) without putting the other guy down. Cena & Punk appeal too two different sets of wrestling fans, and that makes for compelling story but at the end of the day they are both great for the business and bring a whole lot to the table. And here’s another bit of BREAKING NEWS, Cena & Punk are actually pretty good friends backstage. I bet the IWC will explode in anger after reading that.

          • Jimmy

            You are an idiot

        • Pluto

          I can agree with that. We all agree that his promo was bad but I don’t understand why people act surprised when Cena is the focus it’s like wrestling fans have been sleeping under a rock for the 30 eight years or so. When your the face of the company your gonna get mic time. That was the only point I was trying too make.
          Now as far as the promo went last night, Cena really needed too show his intense serious side, similar too what we got out of him last year with his promos with The Rock. Cena really excelled last year against The Rock in that regard and I know many will disagree but I thought he was light years ahead of The Rock on the mic last year. Too be honest, Cena’s promo pretty much summed up the entire night for me, Rock & Punk’s promos really didn’t do anything for me either.
          The good things I took away from RAW last night were the well received pops that ADR & Miz got last night. ADR is actually doing the whole babyface thing very well and is pretty OVER with the fans right now. And Miz seems too be getting more comfortable in his face role as well. Kudos too both him & Ziggler for their match last night. It was a very good match all around.

  • Gary Robert

    3MB is a clown show.

  • J

    Pretty sure Sheamus had one of the top 3 pops

  • Chris.d514

    Brad Maddox as special guest referee.

  • H.M.

    Okay, enough time has passed that enables me to say this: 3MB is an utter joke and waste of TV time. The gimmick is not entertaining and every time their music plays my head just screams ‘FILLER TV TIME’. I also hate the fake Indian/foreign accent of English that Mahal imposes on himself to show how….Indian he is.

    • Kenneth

      They need a little polish, certainly, but I’d rather see them than Ryder and Santino.

    • Pluto

      3MB is lower midcard act. There not meant too be taken seriously. Heel Stable meant too bring comic relief. I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as you make it out to be.