This first post-MITB RAW starts with music and pyro.
In Ring Segment
Punk out to the ring to HUGE pop. He is all pumped up and full of smiles. King and Cole talk about AJ’s role in Punk’s match last night. She wasn’t the factor they thought she would be in that match, that she was impartial. Punk has a mic as the arena chants his name. He says it may sound a bit strange from someone straight edge, but he loves Los Vegas. A lot of great memories for him there. A year ago he sat on that stage and dropped a pipe bomb. It resonated around the world and started a revolution. He said he’s the best and proven it. He’s beaten everyone in front of him, including Bryan last night. Including a very, very, very confused Special Guest Ref who didn’t know if she was for or against him. To think that started in that very city. Next week RAW celebrates 1,000 episodes. He thinks of the first episode of RAW, because back then a guy who looks like Punk, acts like him, talks like him, has a mind like him wouldn’t have been on that first show, never mind standing in the ring in the midst of his 8th month as WWE Champ. He hopes to stand there next week holding that Title being part of that 1,000th episode…
Big Show’s music cuts Punk off. Big Show to the ring shaking his head. Heat for Big Show as he’s about to speak. He says that was a really touching story Punk. The voice of the voiceless returns to the scene of the crime. The conquering hero. They both know he was inches from winning that MITBLM. “Big Show sucks!” chants fill the arena. He tells them it’s rude, he has a point he’s trying to make. That briefcase was in his grasp, but of course, Cena was in the right place at the right time. If he had that contract, he’d cash it in right now. Punk wouldn’t be walking out WWE Champ, he wouldn’t be…
Punk says what? He wouldn’t be walking? As Big Show said, he almost had the contract, but almost only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades, big guy. Big Show did what he always does, beat the crap out of everyone, tear up ladders, leave destruction, then loses. He has everything to be Champ, but he lost. That’s why a guy like Punk, who’s half his size, has the respect of the fans and the Title while Big Show has a big contract and the respect of no one.
Big Show laughs and says Punk thinks they respect him? They don’t respect themselves. If Punk left the WWE tomorrow, he’d give them a week before they move onto the next new thing. He knows! He knows they don’t respect him and could care less. Punk thinks he’s special? This company revolves around one man! Punk’s just another cog in the machine.
Punk says he’s the WWE Champ, and Big Show’s not. What Big Show is a bitter, underachieving, albeit well paid shell of a man who just happens to be a giant.
Big Show says that’s Punk’s opinion, but as it relates to Punk’s WWE Championship, Cena’s Mr. MITB now, so tonight, in their match, after Big Show knocks him out and Punk loses to Big Show, he might lose the Championship to Cena. Big Show drops his mic like a pipe bomb. Big Show leaves the ring and Punk looking a bit worried.
King and Cole say we cam go online, to the WWE YouTube channel and watch the first RAW there.
Kofi and R-Truth are heading for the ring.
Tag Team Championship Match – Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (C) vs Titus O’Neil & Darren Young w/ AW
Kofi and R-Truth to the ring. AW comes out blathering on and on. He introduces his Prime Time Players.
Kofi and O’Neil lock up. Kofi backed into a corner with blows and elbows. An upper cut, then Young tags inn to kick Kofi. Kofi back into the corner, but Young admonished. Kofi fights back and nails a drop kick to Young. R-Truth tags in and they double team Young. R-Truth dances, then a leg drop on Young. Kofi tags in, then flies in with a cross body for two. O’Neil in illegally and eats a drop kick. Double baseball slide from the champs sends both heels out, then Kofi flies out onto both of the PTPs.
Young behind Kofi, but Kofi elbows out. Cheap shot to O’Neil, but Young keeps Kofi from tagging out. O’Neil gets the tag behind Kofi’s back, so O’Neil in and on Kofi. Bear hug on Kofi as AW blubbers on. Head butts to O’Neil, but Kofi into the heel corner, but the ref backs O’Neil off. Young tags in and sets Kofi on the apron. AW picks Young’s fro while Young works Kofi. Back in the ring O’Neil tags in, but Kofi is free and R-Truth tags in!
drop kick to O’Neil’s knee, then to his head. R-Truth takes O’Neil down for two, but Young breaks the count. Young is clotheslined from the ring. AW on the apron distracting the ref. R-Truth ducks O’Neil. Kofi hits TIP from the apron, then R-Truth hits Little Jimmy on O’Neil for three.
Winners – Kofi & R-Truth (8:57)
AW is up in the ref’s face demanding things be righted, that Kofi and R-Truth cheated. The ref fled without responding to AW’s antics.
AJ is looking at her phone as she stands there in a black hoodie with white stars on it. Bryan comes up. She says she called it down the middle and she’s sorry if he doesn’t like it. He apologizes for all he’s said since WrestleMania. He got so caught up in Punk and becoming Champ. But last night he can finally admit that he… Eve clears her throat. Bryan isn’t impressed. Eve says Bryan ditched her in their match. She petitioned the Board of Directors for a new match. So Eve, and the partner of her choosing will face Bryan and his little pet AJ. And everyone knows what payback is, well, it’s what AJ is. AJ asks what Bryan was going to say. Bryan leans in, but AJ leans away. Finally she stops and Bryan gives her a simple kiss on the cheek. AJ is left with a very confused look on her face.
King and Cole talk about Tout. They then go on to show Cena’s first Tout sent out. They show Cena talking about debuting on RAW.
Zack Ryder vs ADR w/ Ricardo
Ryder out to the ring. Cole talks about how Ryder made his name known online, and that he was the first Superstar to do so. ADR out on his own to feet, down the ramp to the ring.
ADR on Ryder with kicks, then blows. A kicks in a corner and ADR backed off, then rushes into a kick, then another. Arm buster on Ryder, then ADR uses the ropes to continue working Ryder’s left arm. Outside ADR stomps Ryder’s head, then slams the arm on the stairs. Ryder’s arm behind him and Ryder into the barrier. Ryder slams ADR into the apron, then kicks him, but back in the ring ADR sends Ryder shoulder first into the post. ADR locks on the cross arm breaker and Ryder taps out.
Winner – ADR (1:31)
ADR locks on the cross arm breaker again, but then Rey’s music hits and the fans go wild! Rey to the ring and ADR stomps him, but then Rey comes back with beautiful head scissors. ADR is set up and Rey hits 619! The fans are WILD for Rey! ADR on the ramp looking down at Rey in shock, eyes wide.
Slater says the best moment of RAW is Slater bringing the One Man Band to RAW! He talks about how great he is! He went out with Vader and made a huge splash! Lauper was so impressed she gave him the gold record! He showed Sycho Sid that Slater is the bomb, baby! He clowned around with Doink! Hell, DDP was so impressed by Slater that he taught Slater how to do the diamond cutter! When you thought Slater couldn’t top him himself, his good buddy Bob Backlund came down and gave Slater a hug! The Slater Era is just starting! There’s no one, past or present, who can compete with the One Man Band, baby! Then RAW goes to real time showing a closed locker room door where tonight’s legend is getting ready.
Slater vs Rikishi
Slater is in the ring and asks who is it this week, because he knows a RAW legend is about to come out. He’s not stupid people! Out comes Rikishi!
The fans are chanting for Rikishi, and loving him. Slater mocks Rikishi. Slater ducks Rikishi, then hits Rikishi in the back. Super kick to Slater, then he’s sitting in the corner. Stink face to Slater. Slater is freaking out. Umaga’s thumb to Slater, then Rikishi climbs. Sit down splash on Slater for three.
Winner Rikishi (1:16)
Video of the high points of the match. The lights go out, when they come up Jimmy and Jey are there to dance with their Dad! As usual, Rikishi has moves that impress!
Mixed Tag Match – Eve Miz & vs AJ & Bryan
Eve to the ring. Video of Bryan leaving Eve without her partner last week and Eve was pinned by AJ. “Hoeski!” chants. Eve with a mic announces her partner for the evening. Miz’s music and he comes out with his new Vinced out hair and puts an arm around Eve. Bryan out yelling “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” and the fans chanted right with him. AJ bounces out in green plaid.
Miz and Bryan circle, then lock up. Side headlock on Miz, Bryan backed into acorner. Miz with a clean break, then Bryan on Miz in the corner with kicks. Bryan runs the ropes and into a high knee. Boot to a sitting Bryan’s face. Bryan to his corner and AJ tags herself in.
They lock up, then AJ slammed back. Stomped in a corner, then snap mare on AJ. A kick to AJ’s face for two. Eve holds AJ in the ropes for the count. Eve sits up top and chokes AJ up off her feet a couple times. Bryan wants to tag in, Eve glares and AJ gets free. A drop kick, then a back kick to Eve. Big knee to Eve and AJ pins, but Miz in and distracts the ref. Drop kick to Miz’s back, sending him from the apron. She gives Miz her famous pretty smile and head tilt. He looks a bit impressed, but then rushes in and the refs stops him. Eve locks AJ up in a small package, but Bryan in and rolls them until AJ is on top. The ref comes and counts the three.
Winners – AJ & Bryan (3:05)
Video of Bryan giving AJ the victory. Bryan says there’s something she always said to him, but he was too scared and stupid to say back. His career and entire state of mind won’t be right until he says this to her himself. “AJ, I love you.” AJ looks a bit annoyed, shocked, and maybe mad. She turns from Bryan, and he reaches from the ring to grab something. He says last week he asked her a question because he wanted to become WWE Champ. This week he doesn’t want anything, except this. Bryan down on one knee. “AJ, will you marry me?” There’s a lot of “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” from the fans. AJ looks just as shocked and confused. Bryan takes her hand and puts the ring on it. AJ looks at it shocked and confused. He holds the mic up to her, she still looks confused, but then nods and says yes. They then share a passionate kiss that the fans don’t like. They laugh together, then he turns and yells “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” and both AJ and the fans join him. With an arm around each other, the other each point up with each “YES!”
Rock stole SCSA’s skull belt. Rock threatens to throw Austin’ belt off a bridge. Austin went out there and they fought. Rock sent Austin off the side of the bridge, then sent the belt flying in after him.
Cole talks about Bryan and AJ Tweeting that they will be married next week on RAW.
Swagger vs Ryback
Swagger to the ring as King talks about Swagger’s losing streak. Ryback out to destroy Swagger.
Swagger attacks Ryder as soon as Ryback enters the ring. Gut wrench powerbomb to Ryback. Swagger splashes Ryback from the corner. “Goldberg” chants. Ryback free of the ankle lock, but then a shoulder block to Ryback. Ryback kicks out of the ankle lock and hits a sick clothesline. Swagger slammed to the mat, then Ryback hits a line of powerbombs, not letting go between each. Swagger rolls from the ring and Ryback demands to be fed more.
Winner – Bell was never rung – no match!
Cole talks about how out of control this RAW has been so far. King talks about Cena’s Tout from earlier. He says he has an announcement tonight about his MITB contract.
In Ring Segment
EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! She announces Ziggler who comes out in a dark suit with a turquoise deep V t-shirt under it. He comes to the ring, case in hand, Vickie in tow. Ziggler says that as everybody knows, every single MITB contract has been cashed in successfully. What that means is we’re looking at the next WHC. It’s only a matter of time before he cashes this in on Sheamus. When he does, he’ll become the greatest WHC in history. He’ll be better than Bret Hart. Vickie said Bret Hart! Ziggler says better than SCSA. Vickie echos SCSA! Better than the Rock. Vickie with the Rock! He’s the show off. Show off. He’s the future Champion and that’s undisputed. Undisputed! He’s better than…
Jericho’s music cuts Ziggler off. Jericho out in gray jeans and one of his sexy jackets, sans shirt. Jericho saunters up to Ziggler and just stares. “Y2J!” chants. Ziggler yells not tonight. He’s not going to leach off someone elses moment. This is Ziggler’s moment. This is his time to shine! He won his MITBLM last night, Jericho didn’t win his. Jericho nods. Ziggler says that Jericho has never won MITB. When was the last time Jericho won anything? Jericho stares. Ziggler says Jericho can’t remember either? Jericho stares. Ziggler says that all he’s heard since Jericho came back is how great Jericho is, how he’s going to save us, how he’s the best in the world at what he does. Jericho stares. Apparently what Jericho does is lose. No one, and he means no one, has been given more opportunities, more main event chances than Jericho. He’s been coasting for so long that he has everyone fooled. He’s all hype. When was the last time Jericho won an important match? Jericho stares. Ziggler says Jericho can’t remember either. Is it possible Jericho is losing his touch? He can’t Winter he big one anymore. The great Chris Jericho, is he losing his touch? Ziggler thinks Jericho is losing his touch. Ziggler tells Vickie that Jericho is losing his touch. Jericho stares, then hits a code breaker on Ziggler. Vickie screeches at Jericho, asking if he’s crazy. Jericho stares down at Ziggler, listens to the “Y2J” chants, then simply leaves the ring. Ziggler is left rubbing his chin, but with a rather interesting smirk as he stares from his spot on the mat up at Jericho’s retreating form. Vickie, on her knees behind Ziggler on the mat, hands on his shoulders, also has a bit of a smirk on her face.
Responses to Cena’s request on Tout. One guy talks about Punk cashing in and winning against Edge. Another man says his is when SCSA stunnered the whole McMahon family. I honestly couldn’t hear the woman. The last man loved when HBK and Bret buried the hatchet and let bygones be bygones.
Clay vs JTG
Funkasaurus out with his Funkadactyls in green and white. They dance in the ring.
Funkasaurus is still dancing in the ring. JTG out in red trunks and a leather. Cole says last time he saw JTG it was on NXT and he was getting a makeover. King and Cole decide he looks pretty good.
They lock up and JTG is flung back. Clothesline to JTG. JTG runs into a punch to the gut, then a knee. Suplex to JTG, then an elbow drop. JTG whipped, but then runs into feet. JTG takes out Clay’s knee, then stomps it. Blows to Clay’s upper back. Kicks and blows to Clay’s head. JTG mocks Funkasaurus, then puts a front facelock on Clay on the mat. Clay up and JTG slammed back. Drop kick to Clay’s head, but then caught in a cross body. JTG eats a suplex, then a head butt. Clay slam and it’s over.
Winner – Funkasaurus (2:31)
Video of the high points, then they’re in the ring dancing with a bunch of kids.
Trump talks about VKM having his head shaved and how every reacted to his hair. VKM wore a hat to the ring. Trump says he knows VKM was embarrassed. He loves embarrassing VKM. Video of the crazy antics of VKM trying to hide his bald head.
Punk vs Big Show
Punk out to the stage, looks at his ‘watch’, yells, and heads for the ring to huge pop. Big Show stomps out, yelling at the fans, glaring around at everyone.
The bell and Punk rushes Big Show, then ducks. A blow, then Punk ducks away. A kick, then ducks. Punk into a corner, but Punk only gets part of Punk’s shoulder. Some kicks from Punk, but he’s caught and gets a head butt. Big slap to Punk’s chest as the fans chant his name. Blows to Big Show, but then Punk runs into a shoulder. Big Show yells, “Smile for me!” Big Show stands on Punk’s back, using the ropes for to hold his weight. Big Show out and arranges Punk on the apron for a big slap. Punk tries to hit at Big Show, but he’s slapped around more. Big Show yells at a couple fans to shut up. Punk up for a run into the post, but Punk wiggles free and Big Show eats the post.
Back in the ring Punk’s on Big Show with kicks, but a head butt stops him. “CM Punk!” chants and Big Show glares. A big blow to Punk’s gut. Big Show chokes Punk in the corner, with his foot! Punk whipped, but gets a foot up! Punk up, but caught and slammed to the mat. Punk is selling the pain as Big Show works the crowd. Big Show pulls Punk up, then a blow to Punk’s ribs. Another blow to Punk’s ribs. Cole says Bryan focused on Punk’s ribs last night. Punk tries to fight back with blows, then jumps on Big Show with a sleeper. Big Show staggers around the ring, but then pulls Punk’s body and hits a side slam on Punk.
Big Show starts climbing. To the second ropes, bounces, but Punk rolls out of the way! Kicks to Big Show, then clotheslines, but Big Show stands. A kick to Big Show’s gut, but then Punk into a body drop. Big Show sets up for his WMD. Punk pulls himself to his feet, then ducks Big Show’s blow. A big kick to the side of Big Show’s head, then another and another. Punk’s high knee in the corner, then another. Punk hits a third high knee, but Big Show pushes out of the bulldog. Punk in a corner but ducks out of the way and Big Show knocks himself out on the corner. Punk climbs, points and hits his Savage elbow, but Big Show throws Punk off at two. Punk is in shock!
Big Show to his feet, Punk climbs but is caught. Chokeslam, but Punk gets a foot on the ropes to stop the count. Big Show grabs Punk’s ribs and squeezes. Blows to Punk in the corner. The ref tries to stop Big Show, but is pushed down. Big Show back on Punk in the corner. The ref calls for the bell.
Winner – Punk via DQ (9:16)
Big Show slams Punk to the mat. Cena’s music hits and he rushes the ring and holds up the case as a weapon at Big Show. Big Show leaves the ring. Cena grabs a mic and says he sent out a Tout and says he had an announcement tonight. His announcement is… Big Show says he knows what the announcement is, Cena’s going to cash in the briefcase right now. How long has it been since Cena was Champ? Isn’t that the spinner belt Cena designed. Cena would be a fool to not cash it in. The fans don’t respect Cena, they don’t respect anyone! Look how weak Punk is! Cena will never have an easier victory than right now. Cena has to do this for himself.
NO! Cena tells Punk he has a week to prepare for the match of his life. Punk has held the Title for 239 days. Next Monday they will find out who the best in the world. He will cash his contract in next week when they’re both fresh. And for the announcement – Cena rushes Big Show and hits him in the head with the case. Cena raises the case high, and Punk raises his belt. Cena turns, waves his hand in front of his face at Punk. The fans are still going wild as RAW fades out.