This much awaited and anticipated RAW starts with a recap of Kane’s promo on Cena that ended the final RAW of 2011. They play audio of Kane’s speech while showing video of the love of Cena, then into Kane’s attacks on Cena since his return with the mask. Kane gets the fans chanting that Cena sucks (dualing actually) and Cena looks like he’s going to vomit all over the stage. Kane laughs at this.
Music and pyro.
Cena’s music and out he comes all smiles and full of energy. To the camera he says this is Jerry Lawler country. Cena to the ring. Cena says 2011 might not have ended his way. But it’s a new day and new year. He wishes everyone a happy new year. ”You suck!” chants start, all male. Cena says the new year is a time for celebration and resurrection. Cena will make some resolutions. He’s going to wear less underwear. When he does, it will be creative. His father is banned from WWE TV after the This Is Your Life sketch. That was worse than the Christmas Creatures debut. Third comes at WM this year. After he slaps the face of Rock’s neck and win the biggest Match in the history of the WWE, he resolves to prove to Rock that he’s lost his lady parts. What won’t change is what hasn’t changed in his time in the WWE. His convictions will stay true and he will be who he has always been. Words like hustle, loyalty and respect don’t fall when faced with fire. He’s often said that a man’s character isn’t judged by how much he’s loved, but by how he’s willing to get up when his back is against the wall. Last week he was a bit emotional, but it wasn’t toward any of them. Even those who disbelieve, they’ve all paid their hard earned money to be there and he’s not one to judge what they say and when they say it, or how loud they want to be. They’ve earned the right to do what they want to do. Mixed reactions from the fans on this.
His disappointment was in Kane. An iconic WWE Superstar who can’t settle it how they settle things in the WWE. You get in the ring, ring the bell and have a Match. Kane has a problem with what Cena says and does. He wants Cena to turn his back on all Cena believes in. no, not tonight, not any night! He’s like every Superstars, love him or hate him, there’s no better feeling than being in the ring in front of the fans. He will continue to enjoy any emotional response he gets. He starts this year off the way he should, by thanking the fans. Not just for himself, but for all…
Kane’s music cuts Cena off. Kane says Cena can try to hold off the inevitable all he wants, but Cena will embrace the hate and will personally witness the true power of hate. Tonight! Kane’s laugh, then fire from all for corners and Cena ducks. We never see Kane.
The last cryptic video, but very short. ”The end begins tonight.”
Daniel Bryan vs Cody Rhodes
Bryan out to the ring, posing on a corner, all excited as Cole rips him apart on announce. Bryan will face Big Show on SD for the strap. Cody comes out to face him, the only heel who wears all white. Cody will face Booker this Friday, defending his IC Title.
They lockup. Knee, then blows to Bryan. Bryan comes back with kicks in a corner. Cody whipped, but gets a foot up. Bryan’s arm swung and he’s slammed to the mat. Bryan stomped, then for two. Cody flips Bryan with that arm and locks onto that left arm on the mat. Hammer lock, then forearm to the back of Bryan’s neck. Bryan hits a high elbow, then blows to Cody. Clothesline to Cody, then Bryan telegraphs and eats a fist. Bryan reverses Cody and sends him flying from the ring. Bryan ran the apron, then flew off onto Cody. Cody rolled in and Bryan climbs. Cody ducks and Bryan lands on his feet. Bryan eats the corner, then beautiful disaster kick to Bryan for two.
Cody slams Bryan to the mat hard. Cody tries again, but Bryan reverses and rolls up Cody for three!
Winner – Bryan
Bryan up on announce to celebrate as Cole complains. Bryan bounces all around in celebration, then squats and looks at his belt dearly at the bottom of the ramp.
Miz was on mic dogging Cena last week, then R-Truth came back and took Miz apart! It ended with the water bottle to Miz’s head.
Laurinaitis watching the monitor and Miz comes in, as Laurinaitis knew he would. Miz talks about R-Truth last week. Laurinaitis said R-Truth was unprofessional and shouldn’t have done that. Miz wants Laurinaitis to take action. Laurinaitis shows video of Miz’s attack on R-Truth two months ago. Laurinaitis asks if it rings a bell. Miz says no. Laurinaitis calls Miz scared. Laurinaitis will have people watching to make sure R-Truth doesn’t attack Miz, especially during his Match. What Match? Against Sheamus. Miz says he’ll be a sitting duck. Laurinaitis says, better than a lame duck!
Miz leaves Laurinaitis’ office complaining. After Miz walks by R-Truth comes from the shadows wearing a white shirt and black vest, flaps his arms to the camera and quacks away. Then he turns and leaves.
Promo for the Royal Rumble. 25Th anniversary of the Royal Rumble. Video from 1988 when Hacksaw won.
Wade Barrett vs Santino
Wade out to the ring looking all smug. Video recap of Wade versus Orton last week on SD. They were in the elevator fighting. They fought up in hallways, then to Orton at the bottom of a flight of stairs looking broken. Orton has a herniated disk – according to Cole. No date for his return. Wade is all smiles. He says he didn’t want to come out and wish anybody a happy new year. He doesn’t care about our new year or our old year. It’s been a great 2012 devoid of Orton. He never planned on throwing Orton down the stairs, but it was Orton or him. Orton is another victim of the Barratt barrage. He’s over Orton and is going to win the Royal Rumble Match. After what he did to Orton, there isn’t a person on the planet who can deny… Santino’s music and out he comes. King says Santino is more fun than Angry Birds! Santino goes around the ring at least 5 times, if not more. He says pop quiz hot shot – who lasted longer last year at the Royal Rumble Match? Wade or Santino? Times up, Santino! The Wade Barrett barrage will be run over by the Santino train.
Punches to Santino, then he splits to miss a clothesline, but eats a big boot! Wade had him scouted. Santino whipped, then blows in the corner on him. Santino moves out of Wade’s way and sets up for the cobra, but a kick to the ribs. Shoulder first into the corner. Winds of change and Wade gets three.
Winner – Wade
Wade celebrates on a corner. Video of high points of the Match. Wade poses over Santino.
The Bellas argue over who’s fault it was – Miz or R-Truth. Miz asks if they saw R-Truth. They say no, but saw Little Jimmy! Miz says he’s glad ADR got hurt. Miz looks around for R-Truth, then leaves. R-Truth out of the shadows and shushes the camera.
Sheamus vs Miz
Sheamus out to the ring to solid pop. Miz out to face him, carefully looking around for R-Truth.
Miz with a DDT on Sheamus before the bell. Miz ties Sheamus into the ropes, then on him with blows. First only hi left, then Miz tries to lock the right, but Sheamus is free and on Miz through the ropes with forearms. Sheamus on Miz hard and won’t stop. Miz over the barrier and to the fans looking very orange.
R-Truth on mic, but where? He says he’s in the crowd. Guess who he ran into? Little Jimmy! Miz in a black hoodie. Little Jimmy says he don’t like Miz! Ut oh! Little Jimmy says Miz is gonna get got. Miz over the barrier into a brogue kick. Sheamus backs off as R-Truth over the barrier. R-Truth gets a bottle of water from announce and hits Miz with it.
R-Truth back over the barrier talking to himself. Into the crowd and says this Miz weekly beat down was brought to you by Little Jimmy! R-Truth then asks a Beiber looking boy what he, Little Jimmy,has to say to that? After a pause he wishes Miz a happy new year!
Winner – ? Not Miz!
King points out that everyone online hates Cole. They talk about Punk in the gauntlet last week. Vickie got involved, but then Laurinaitis out and caused Punk the Match while under the guise of throwing out Vickie and Swagger.
Josh with Dolph and Vickie. Dolph with his headstand. He asks if Dolph can beat Punk? Dolph says he’ll beat Punk as easily as that headstand. Dolph talks down the economy and blames Tennessee. He’s a surplus and will win the WWE Champion. Keep their ticket stubs to remember the date he wins.
Ryder with Eve talking up their Match last week. Swagger says there’s an imposter with a Title. Ryder is confused and says just because their names both end in er, doesn’t mean he won’t send Swagger to the ER. Laurinaitis comes in and announces himself. He makes a Six Man Tag Elimination Match – Henry, Kane and Swagger against Ryder, Cena and Big Show.
Punk heading for the ring.
WWE Championship Match – CM Punk ( c) vs Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie
Punk out to the ring to huge pop. On the apron Punk sucks up the love from the fans. He poses on a corner, then into the ring. Cole says earlier Punk told him it was just another night at the office. #heel Dolph out with Vickie in tow. In the ring Justin announces both Superstars. Dolph gets some serious heat, but nothing compared to Punk’s pop. Chants for Punk as he kisses the belt before handing it over.
They lock up and muscle around until Punk rolls Dolph up for one. Then they roll around on the mat and Punk gets another one. They both jockey for position on the mat until they free up from each other. Chants for Punk. They lock up, blows to Dolph’s gut, then back breaker on Dolph for one. Punk with a front facelock, but backed into a corner. Blows on Punk. A blow drops Punk for two. Punk avoids Dolph’s elbow drop. Dolph slammed to the mat, then leg drops over and over from Punk. Punk covers for two as Vickie screeches!
Chinlock on Dolph as chants for Punk start again. Dolph pushes out, then eats shoulder block. Flapjack on Punk into a second rope – badly. Punk is holding his face tightly. Dolph gets two, drops an elbow for another two. Chinlock on Punk on the mat. Punk punches out and sends Dolph flying from the ring with a punch. Punk about to fly out of the ring, but Dolph punches Punk as his head comes through the ropes. Dolph then slams Punk hard. Back in the ring Dolph pins for two.
Blows back and forth. Punk gains control, briefly, then Dolph locks on his sleeper. Punk counters and gets two. Both get up slowly as Vickie screeches to Dolph. Dolph runs into a back kick. Again they slowly get up. Punk rushes Dolph and eats a knee, but then hits an almost Orton fast scoop slam! Dolph rolls Punk up for two. Zig-zag from Dolph for a very long two. Again they’re slow to get up. Dolph clotheslines Punk in a corner, then flips Punk and slam him badly on his face for two. That was a very bad landing for Punk.
Chants for Punk. Dolph attacks Punk from behind and somehow Punk easily removes the padding in that corner. High knee to Dolph in a corner for two. Punk motions for the GTS, but then Laurinaitis is on the apron. He grabs the padding. Punk for the GTS, but Dolph reverses. Anaconda vice and Dolph taps, but the ref is with Laurinaitis! Dolph rushes Punk, but Punk moves and Dolph slams into Laurinaitis. Punk and Dolph scrabble around and Dolph sends Punk to the ropes as Laurinaitis pulls the rope down and Punk flies outside to the floor.
The ref counts Punk as Laurinaitis shakes his arm and stares at Punk. Punk barely rolls back in at ten, but the ref doesn’t see it.
Winner – Dolph via Countout
Dolph celebrates with the strap as Punk glares up the ramp at Laurinaitis. Video of Dolph tapping, then Laurinaitis’ involvement in the Match. Dolph is still celebrating. Finally Punk goes after Dolph who flees with the strap into the stands.
Just a tiny clip of the cryptic video.
Royal Rumble Match 1995 – HBK came in number one and won it! Actually Davey Boy Smith was number two and they both lasted until the end.
Divas Tag Match – Bellas vs Eve & Kelly
Bellas out in very low cut – front and back – rubber looking jumpsuits. Eve and Kelly out in orange.
A Bella slaps Kelly on the ass. Kelly comes back with the same. The Bella eats a corner, then stink face. Kelly slammed back, the other Bella tags in. They double team, but Kelly kicks out. Lots of trash talking as Eve tags in. Drop kick to the Bella, then a clothesline. Eve sets up for the standing moonsault, but is distracted. Eve on the Bella, then moonsault from the top, but twin magic and Eve is rolled up for three.
Winners – Bellas
Bellas celebrate on the ramp. Video replay of Eve’s beautiful moonsault, then twin magic.
Punk into Laurinaitis’ office. Punk is pissed about Laurinaitis hiding behind his suit. Laurinaitis says Punk’s problem is with Dolph who beat Punk and Punk will face Dolph at the Royal Rumble. The Special Guest Ref will be Laurinaitis. Punk says that Otunga will come in handy if Laurinaitis screws Punk. Punk will be in jail for animal cruelty because Punk’s going to beat Laurinaitis like a bitch!
More cryptic video… This is a full length video, but doesn’t show us much. Nothing more than any of the others. It is time. The end of the world as we know it is here. Now.
Who is it?
The camera shakes as the fans staring and looking confused. The lights go out and… And the lights stay out, and… “Y2J” chants. Light on the stage. It’s lights on Jericho’s jacket! His back to the camera, as he should be!
The lights on his jacket looked like a Y, then the lights came up and he turned around. King about has a spaz over it being Jericho! The lights still going on his black jacket with fully silver sparkly arms. He walks around the ring, then poses on the apron as he always has.
Jericho with a hand to his ear to hear the fans chanting Y2J for him. He’s all smiles in the ring as his music keeps playing. Out of the ring and he slaps hands around the ring. Hugs for fans, then posing with fans. King asks if we’ve ever seen Jericho happier?
Jericho grabs a mic, the music stops and the, “Y2J” chants fill the arena. He has a huge smile on his face as he looks out across the fans. They stop and he called for more and yelled, “YAY!” “Y2J” chants FILL the arena! That smile is bigger than I’ve ever seen from him.
They quiet and he again calls for me. Posing on the corners to get the fans yelling. All four corners, but the fans are getting tired. Out of the ring and he’s still yelling. All ‘Yay’ from Jericho, but the fans are done! #1 trend worldwide! He then points to different parts of the crowd to get them dueling. They come back to loud for this. More chants for him and Jericho is all smiles -still! He’s all smiles, puts the mic up, then drops it to yell more. More “Y2J” chants fill and he eggs them on!
Again from the ring and slapping hands all around. “Oh yay!” He grabs a camera from a camera man, but it was attached to the camera man and then Jericho leaves, up to the stage, then the other side of the stage to get pop there. I have never seen such a thing! Suddenly he’s getting heat from the fans and leaves. The fans are standing there in shock as Mr. Smiles walked out on them. The fastest return/heel turn in history?
Six Man Tag Elimination Match – Big Show & Zack Ryder & Cena vs Henry & Swagger & Kane
Big Show out to the ring slapping hands and meaning it. Ryder out to the ring to some pop, but I think the fans are tired out after Jericho. Cena out to join them. Henry out to the ring. Is he really cleared to wrestle? Swagger out to join Henry. Fire erupts and there’s no Kane! The lights come up and no one knows where he is. Out comes Otunga, mic in hand. Into the ring he talks to the ref and Justin. Otunga leaves the ring and it’s announced that Kane is not participating and it’s a Handicap Match.
Cena and Swagger lock up. Side headlock on Cena. Shoulder block to Cena. Hip toss on Swagger. Swagger slammed, then an elbow drop on Swagger for two. Swagger whipped, then into a sck for two. Front facelock on Swagger through the dueling chants. Cena telegraphs and is kicked in the face for it.
Cena whipped by Swagger, then splashed on the mat for two. Front facelock on Cena. Cena muscles free and suplexes out. Cena tags in Big Show. Clotheslines on Swagger, then he’s whipped and back splashed by Big Show. Clothesline, but then Swagger tags out. Henry is the legal man, guess he’s been cleared. They get together talking smack. They exchange blows. Head butts to Henry then a shoulder block drops Henry. Henry flees and grabs a chair. Big Show punches the chair, then hits Henry with the chair. Cena is yelling at Big Show.
Eliminated – Big Show & Henry
Ryder on Swagger with clotheslines. Ryder whipped but gets his knees up. Ryder hits his broski boot on Swagger. Swagger counters Ryder with a power bomb, then ankle lock. Ryder tries to get to Cena and does!
Cena in with clotheslines, then a back slam. Cena calls for and hits the 5 knuckle shuffle. Swagger up and eats an AA for three.
Winners – Cena & Ryder
Cena celebrates, then checks on Ryder. Fire! Cena stomps up the ramp ready for Kane. Kane rises through the ring and attacks Ryder. Kane attacks Cena through the ropes. Kane out and puts than hand over Cena’s mouth and nose again. Cena is out on the floor at the bottom of the ramp. Kane takes hold of Cena’s leg, but then drops it as he looks in at Ryder. Kane into the ring looking down at Ryder. Ryder tries to flee, but Kane grabs his ankle. Kane pulls Ryder back to the hole. Kane into the hole and drags Ryder down in… Cena rushes in and grabs Ryder and pulls him from the hole. Cena and Ryder in the far corner talking, Cena checking on Ryder.
HUGE fire erupts from the hole in the ring that makes Cena and Ryder cower back. The final shot is Cena’s face with a look of fear playing across it as he stares at the hole.
Dolph w/ Vickie
Biggest excitement & screwjob
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