This week’s RAW starts with recap of Kane standing over Eve threateningly, then with Cena video cut in over Kane’s words. He’s afraid for Eve, Cena, anyone in his path, and of himself.
Kane on the tron saying there’s nothing he won’t do, no line he won’t cross, no atrocity he won’t commit to get Cena to embrace the hate. Tonight two things will happen – Cena will embrace the hate, and someone will take a ride in this… The ambulance. He opens the back doors, then the camera close in on his blue eye.
Music and pyro.
In Ring Segment
Justin announces King who’s in the ring. It’s the first ever Elimination Chamber Debate! NO reaction for this. He introduces the people in the debate – Kofi, Jericho, Miz, Dolph, R-Truth and CM Punk. Punk yells, “Vote for me!” Punk chants starts. King says each have 45 seconds to respond.
Punk first – the odds are against Punk, why does he think he’ll walk out Champ? Laurinaitis cuts in before Punk can talk with My name is John Laurinaitis, and he’s happy to be there and have the support of the Board of Directors and glad he has their support as Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim RAW General Manager.
“Punk” chants. He has three things to say – to the WWE ‘Universe’, he promises the debate won’t end in violence. Want to have classy debate. To old snickle-fritz, John Laurinaitis, aka Clownshoes, Punk wants to offer his congratulations in staying in power. Many must think Laurinaitis has something over the Board of Directors, naked pictures of beastiality, but looking at the knees of his slacks, he’s been doing a lot of begging. The third is about the Elimination Chamber, why does he think he’ll win? He’s the best wrestler in the world.
Dolph’s rebuttle? EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! There should be no booing allowed. Dolph says he’s better in the ring at everything, even the audience. He backs it up. Then there’s people like R-Truth who don’t even know what state they’re in right now.
R-Truth asks if that’s right, to get the fans ‘What’ing. He says if he’s elected, then he’s going to trade Vickie and Dolph to Smackdown. For Horns and a box of spiders.
Dolph asks how R-Truth work here.
King tells R-Truth to go on, R-Truth calls King, ‘Your honor.’ If he’s elected, he will legally require that ‘what’ be shouted – what? – Don’t what me! Okay, what me! In every line of the Pledge Of Allegiance. To the issue at hand, the box of spiders. He will take it and stomp them and put them in a blender, and make his Grand MoMo’s favorite, Spider Stew! High in protein, low in carbs! And then his running mate Little Jimmy, will watch him gulp down the spider stew to give him energy to outlast everyone in the Elimination Chamber and become the WWE Champion. God bless Little Jimmy, and God bless the United States of America. The fans go wild for him!
King says he’s going to Miz. Huge heat for Miz. King says he was in the main event at last year’s WrestleMania. Miz says he was the main event of last year’s WrestleMania. He made history defending his Title, twice. That’s why WrestleMania 27 was an astronomical success. “You suck!” chants. Miz wants to talk about the Superstars in the Elimination Chamber!. Kofi is an afterthought. R-Truth is insane and Little Jimmy should take his spot. Punk is 0-2 in Elimination Chamber and is going to crumble faster than the cookie cream of his ice cream bars. Miz can barely gets his words out and Punk mocks him for it. Dolph is in his first Elimination Chamber. The only time he’s ever scored is with an old woman. Then there’s Jericho… BUZZZ! King cuts him off, he’s out of time. Miz goes off on Jericho and on and on. BUZZZ! More and more on Jericho. BUZZZ!
Kofi cuts Miz off with his afterthought comment, most might agree with him, but he’s been overlooked for far too long. That’s the great thing about the Elimination Chamber, everything could change. He could walk in and afterthought, but walk out the next WWE Champion. “Kofi!” chants.
King goes to Jericho. Jericho, in his blinking jacket, says he’s surrounded by neophytes in this ring. Neophytes in this entire arena! But all need to quiet down as the best in the world at what he does is going to enunciate. We want facts? There hasn’t been a human who’s been in more Elimination Chamber than any other human being (I thought he and Trip were tied at 6). There isn’t a human being who’s eliminated more Superstars in the Chamber (Not sure ont hat one) than him. The last time he was in an Elimination Chamber Match, he walked out World Heavyweight Champion. Serious, let’s be honest, his list of accomplishment outshine all the other five of them together, completely. He’s here, they’re there. Punk, look at me when I’m talking to you, boy! He should give Jericho the Title now as the master has come to reclaim what is his! Does he understand what he’s saying to Punk right now?
Chants for Punk. Punk turns and asks Jericho if he was talking to him? He’s sorry, he wasn’t listening to Jericho. He was remembering when Jericho left, then finished 7th on DWTS! Sorry, go ahead.
King tries to bring things back, but Dolph says it’s a joke, the debates a joke, the audience is a joke. This is 15 minutes of his life he can’t have back.
R-Truth stops Dolph and says he won’t be talked down to by a guy named after Flipper! R-Truth makes dolphin noises.
King says they’re all in individual matches, so let’s start that. Kofi versus Jericho. Jericho shoulder pushes by Kofi, then pushes Kofi with his hand. Jericho pushes R-Truth’s podium, but then turns into Kofi’s trouble in paradise! Kofi paces the match and talks smack down at Jericho on the mat.
Kofi vs Jericho
Kofi on Jericho and stomps him in a corner. Kick to Kofi, but then Kofi back on him with blows and kicks. Stomping Jericho, then a knee to Jericho’s back as hi hung on the second rope. Big clothesline sends Jericho over the top and onto announce. Kofi flies through the ropes and onto Jericho. Jericho face first onto announce. Jeri rolled in, Kofi after him. Kofi on Jericho with blows in the corner, but only 8 before being power bombed out. Jericho on Kofi on the mat, but then up and hits a suplex on Kofi. Back drop on Kofi for two.
Camel clutch on Kofi on the mat. Kofi up and elbows free. Jericho avoids a drop kick, then pins Kofi for two. Jericho toys with Kofi, then on Kofi in a corner with chops. Kofi into another corner with a crossbody. King, in a whining voice tells Kofi to be careful, jero invented the cross body block, nobody else can do it. Clotheslines, then a drop kick to Jericho. King says the drop kick as well, meaning no one else can do it. Cole says King uses the drop kick and has been around for 40-50 years.
Jericho catches Kofi and locks on the walls. Kofi gets to the ropes, but Jericho thinks he won at first. Jericho yells at the ref, but then walks into trouble in paradise again. Kofi takes a bit, then pins, but Jericho with a foot on the ropes. Kofi stomps on Jericho, but Jericho with a thumb to the eye, then a code breaker for three.
Winner – Jericho
Kofi is left on the mat as Jericho rolls out quickly. Video of the high points and the thumb to Kofi’s eyes.
HBK walks along, then a huge grin on his face. The camera pulls back to show Trip. They hug and smile.
Cena and Kane fighting backstage at the Royal Rumble, then Ryder was attacked. Tombstone on Ryder in the ring in front of Eve.
Cena asks Ryder how he is. Ryder in a huge brace, can’t stay from her. He loves Eve. Cena doesn’t like that Kane attacks Ryder every time he’s there. Cena wants Ryder in his locker room, he will bring Eve to him. Woo woo woo, you know it.
Laurinaitis is talking about how happy people are that he’s back. Otunga, coffee in hand, doesn’t want to burst Laurinaitis’ bubble, but needs to look at this differently. The Board of Directors want him there, but he’s not the permanent GM. Otunga has a plan. Not only will he be RAW GM, but the GM of Smackdown as well.
Cole has a new action figure. Orton faced D-Bry, but Big Show got involved, Orton lost. Orton and Big Show got into a big fight. After Smackdown went off the air, Orton ate a chokeslam in the ring.
Big Show vs Orton
D-Bry at announce, but not on announce. Sitting there with his belt, smirking. Big Show out with a huge smile on his face. Big Show tries to ignore D-Bry being there, but then yelling out at Cole. Orton out to face Big Show.
Orton on Big Show, Big Show pushes him off. Orton on Big Show, Big Show pushes him off. Orton on Big Show, but then a slap to his chest. Orton in on Big Show, but into a side slam. Orton ducks the knockout punch and rolls from the ring.
Sleeper on Big Show, Orton up on his back to keep the hold on him. Big Show tries to slam Orton into a corner, but Orton is too high up. Big Show to a knee. D-Bry smiles and Cole says he loves the Champ’s smile, he beams when on camera. Is he suddenly liking D-Bry? Big Show free and back with clotheslines. Orton whipped, then splashed, but then Big Show walks into a drop kick. Orton struggles to roll Big Show, but does and get two until Big Show throws Orton off. Orton rolls out, Big Show out too. Orton’s face slammed on announce. Orton rolled back in, then Big Show up in front of D-Bry. D-Bry points to the ring and Cole backs up D-Bry verbally, saying Big Show should show the Champion some respect!
Big Show on the apron and eats a drop kick. A boot to the side of Big Show’s head. He hung over the top rope, weighing it down in a huge way. Orton set up and hit his DDT on Big Show! Cole says it’s extra ‘vintage’ Orton! Orton hears voices, pounds the mat. A rather cruddy looking RKO. Big Show up and pushes Orton off, but Orton back with another RKO. D-Bry in and hits Orton in the back with his strap.
Winner – Orton via DQ?
Cole is not at all happy with D-Bry now that he’s not able to reach Cole. Big Show to his knees, then D-Bry hits him in the face with the belt. Video of the match, then D-Bry heading up the ramp as Orton lolls on the floor and Big Show holds his head as he leans on the apron.
In Ring Segment
Justin announces HBK. HBK out in black jeans, huge belt buckle, black sleeveless button down shirt and straw cowboy hat and the biggest smile! HBK looks possibly more muscular than when he left! Posing for the fans as if he never left. “HBK!” chants fill the arena! He says he doesn’t mind telling us, he hasn’t done it for a while and is nervous. Earlier today on Titter a guy asked why he comes around this time of the year? HBK snorts. It’s WrestleMania! You can’t have WrestleMania season without Mr. WrestleMania! Let’s face it, no matter where he’s at he’s still the Headliner, the Show Stopper, the Main Eve… Okay, he may not be the Main Event anymore, but that’s why he’s added Mr. Hall of Fame! The fans like this.
Having said that, much like us, he was sitting home last week riveted to his TV set. Even though he lives in the middle of nowhere, he still gets TV! He, like us, was waiting for Triple H to utter those words we all wanted to hear. “I accept the challenge to Taker.” Like many of us, he was shocked when Trip didn’t give it. He called Laurinaitis and says he needs to talk to his best friend. Then it donned on HBK, he’s just playing Taker, just baiting him. He’s here to bring Trip out and tell us that he’s ending Taker’s streak. So Triple H it’s time to come on down and let us hear what we want to hear!
HBK dances to Trip’s music. Trip out in a fairly decently fitting suit, plain white shirt, corporate red tie. Another huge hug between the friends. Trip points to his friend in respect. “DX” chants. They both cross wrists over their chests, no crotch chops.
Trip says they made it clear, it’s great to see HBK. While he understands it’s hard to tear him from Texas and hunting wabbits with Elmer Fudd, or whatever he does to come here, he speaks for everybody when he says it would be nice if they didn’t only see him once a year. HBK says he’ll work on that. After last week he wanted to be there live with everyone to hear the news of Trip facing Taker at WrestleMania. Trip says if that’s why he’s there, he wishes that HBK had called, because he’s not facing Taker at WrestleMania this year. He thought he made it clear last week.
HBK doesn’t want to interrupt Trip. HBK understands Trip has to do the thing with the suit, he understands that and always will. But forget the suit. Trip says it’s not the suit talking. HBK saw it, Taker won the battle, but didn’t leave the ring under his won power. Trip won the war. They hadn’t seen him for a year. He has to end him to beat him and he’s not that guy anymore.
HBK says that’s exactly who Trip is. He’s a closer, he ends careers, steps on throats. He has no mercy, no compassion, that’s what make shim the Game. What does it mean that’s not who he is? Is all of this suit thing who he is now? He stood with Trip through everything. When everything in Trip’s life changed and people said a lot of stuff, HBK never left his side. He has news for Trip. He married that chick and became one of them. Huge heat for that comment. Trip looks pissed. HBK asks if he’s a sellout? A corporate sellout, but a sellout none the less.
Trip says it’s not selling out, it’s investing for the future. In a future for all of them – the fans. He gets it, HBK’s not in his shoes, he doesn’t get it.
HBK gets it. Trip talks about HBK and his ranch. It’s true, he’s a simple guy. It’s hard for him to understand how much his deep, philosophical business life has to be, but he knows when a man challenges you and you back down. That makes you a coward. HBK doesn’t care… Trip appears to be leaving, but HBK grabs his arm, spins Trip and tells him that he’s not finished! He doesn’t care how nice Trip dresses it up, how much money he wraps around it, but at the end of the day, a coward is still a coward.
Trip is right in HBK’s face. His nostrils flare, his shoulders rise, he bows up at his best friend and stares. Then Trip turns and leaves to huge heat. HBK says to walk away. Walk away because that’s what a coward does!
Trip is through the ropes, but comes back and gets in HBK’s face and says HBK doesn’t understand what’s going on here. He can’t! He sits there on his ranch with his wife and kids. Trip has responsibilities, real life responsibilities. Like it or not, he doesn’t give a damn if they do or not, this, all of this (Trip points around at the fans, the event, at RAW) all if it is going to be his! (The fans gasp that Trip act It’s his responsibility and it weighs on his shoulders, even now! HBK looks at Taker like an opponent, for years he looked at Taker like that, someone to go through. He used to, but now he can’t, he looks at Taker as a brand! A brand that is good for business and he can’t let that brand end because it’s bad for business. Trip is shaking and can’t seem to catch his breath, his words. HBK, Trip, Taker, they’re the end of an era, they know it. The end of an era of a different breed. Smash mouth style that doesn’t exist. They left it all in the ring, every night. They all made the ultimate sacrifice, without question. Trip won’t be the one to end that era. HBK is is retired, Trip has other things, Taker is all that’s left. He’ll be damned if he’s going to be the one to end that era. For no reason. Not because they want him to, Taker wants him to, to feed his own ego or feed HBK’s ego, because HBK wants to live vicariously through Trip doing things HBK couldn’t get done!
HUGE heat for that!
Trip says something off mic to HBK, then turns to leave, but HBK grabs his shoulder, gets his jacket, and Trip turns back, right in HBK’s face. They stare at each other closely. HBK fixes Trip’s jacket with a smirk, then steps back a bit and says that’s an awesome speech and he’s quite sure it works on a lot of people, and he likes the always consistent little jab at HBK, but here’s the thing, HBK is at peace where he’s at in his life, Trip has no peace. So he’s going to cut to the chase. Trip needs to look HBK in the eye and tell him that Trip doesn’t want to end the streak. Look HBK in the eye and tell him that he doesn’t want to end Taker. Look HBK in the eye and tell him he doesn’t need it, want it. Look him in the eye and tell him no. Trip is seething, straightens his tie, then turns, but HBK grabs the shoulder of his jacket again.
Trip looks at HBK and off comes the jacket, but Trip forgot he had the mic in his hand and it caught on its way through his sleeve. Trip right in HBK’s face, right there, nostrils flaring.
Trip says no. He drops the mic. HBK backs up a bit, looks Trip up and down and leaves the ring in disgust. Trip unbuttons his shirt. “HBK” chants. HBK on the stands looks down at Trip in the ring. They stare, HBK pissed and disgusted, Trip green.
Trip heads for the ropes and GONG! Video on the tron, Trip saying he felt bad for Taker. Then that Taker challenged him and he said no. He looked Taker in the eyes and felt sorry. Taker’s voice says it’s not over. Vengeance. Vengeance. He will get what he wants. Keep his pity. Give him what is his… Immortality. Through the video Taker is cutting his hair with a straight razor. Taker’s eye on screen to end it. Trip removes his tie and unbuttons another button as the camera is on him.
Dolph w/ Vickie vs R-Truth
Dolph in the ring with Vickie, he didn’t get his entrance on TV. R-Truth out talking to himself.
Kick to R-Truth’s gut, fireman’s carry slam for one. R-Truth floats over, dances, then kicks Dolph. R-Truth rushes Dolph in a corner, and R-Truth gets post to the shoulder. Dolph pins for two. Drop kick to R-Truth, then a chinlock on R-Truth on the mat. Dolph stands on his head while holding onto R-Truth. R-Truth to his feet and elbows out. Upper cuts to Dolph, Dolph back with a neck breaker. Dolph drops and elbow, then sit ups. Vickie looks on drooling. R-Truth rolls Dolph into a small package for three.
Winner – R-Truth
Vickie about has a fit, Dolph has a car and R-Truth is all smiles.
Santino in to see Ryder. He hears Ryder loves Eve. Santino have love tips. Starting with Ryder’s breath. Santino says it needs deodorant. Santino has his own breath strips. Ryder says they’re disgusting! Santino says they’re garlic.
WWE Slam of The Week
Beth broke Eve’s nose, but then Tamina got the win and she smiled at Beth who stared back.
Tamina vs Brie
Beth on announce in a black tank, miniskirt, sexy waves in her hair and red lipstick! Beth will defend her Title against Tamina at Elimination Chamber. Tamina and Brie in the ring.
Side headlock on Tamina. Tamina over Brie, but then chops her chest. Beth says Tamina has been nothing but impressive, but she’s not the Glamazon! Brie on Tamina from outside, knocking her back. Drop kick to Tamina’ shoulder as she’s on the mat. Brie stomps her head, then slams her face to the mat. Jaw breaker on Brie, then Nikki on the apron to distract and gets a head butt that sends her flying to the floor. Brie on Tamina from behind. Brie up for the Samoan drop. Tamina out and climbs. Tamina flies and gets the three.
Winner – Tamina
Beth to her feet and glares at Tamina who looks back hungrily.
King and Cole talk up Rocky for WrestleMania and his movie. Video of Rocky doing his promotional tour for his movie. Then he talks up his movie and the pec pop of love. The red carpet premier in Mexico City. He stepped out and the fans went wild!
Josh asks Cena his reaction to the Rock. Cena smirks, then hears a woman screaming and runs. Eve is in the ambulance, Kane is closing the doors. Cena attacks him. Kane thrown into a pile of debris. Cena tells Eve to unlock the door and open it. Kane attacks Cena and leaves him on the floor as he rushes to the front of the ambulance. Kane starts the lights and sirens and takes off with Eve in the back, but the door opens and Eve jumps out – right into Cena’s arms. Eve is all disheveled and they fall onto each others lips. Cena asked what that was for, even though he dove at her as well. Then Eve looks to the side and is all upset. The camera pans to show Ryder who wasn’t staying in Cena’s locker room. Ryder is stricken. The camera back to Cena who looks like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar and Eve looking really embarrassed and upset – but neither going to Ryder’s side.
Ryder is rolling away and Eve chases him. She tries to explain about Kane and the heat of the moment and she’s sorry. She really does care about Ryder, but never thought they’d be together. She wants to be friends. Ryder rolls off leaving Eve looking upset.
Miz vs Punk
Miz’s music is still playing, but his entrance wasn’t shown on TV. Punk’s music and out he comes to the ring as Cole talks up the RAW Elimination Chamber Match. Miz looks like a petulant child, Punk smirks. Cole says the #1 topic trending on Twitter right now is #PoorZack. Cole calls Ryder a tool.
Punk and Miz lock up, but then Miz looks lost, hands flailing, then Punk trips him with a knee and pins for one. Snap suplex on Miz for one. Punk’s arm hung up top, but Miz back in to a big boot. Punk backed into a corner, then pressure on Punk’s arm. Punk shoulder first to the corner. Russian leg sweep to Punk for two. Arm hold on Punk on the mat. King asks what Miz has done the past couple months besides stab every one of his friends in the back. It gets you forgotten by a lot of people. Punk to his feet, then elbows free. Miz with a neck breaker, but Punk with a kick to the side of Miz’s head. Punk can’t get feeling in his hand, selling arm issues. Miz on Punk’s left arm with blows. Miz into a back kick, then clothesline. Reverse neck breaker on Miz. Punk’s running knee in the corner, then Punk hits his bulldog with his good arm.
Punk motions that it’s nap time, but then Miz wiggles free and hits a short DDT for two. Punk in a corner and eats Miz’s corner clothesline. Miz up top, but Punk ducks and Miz lands on his feet, but barely. Punk hit a fast scoop slam, almost as fast as Samoa Joe and Orton! Punk got two from it. Chants for Punk. Punk up top, but Miz stops him with blows. Miz up on the second ropes, but Punk with blows and Miz falls to the mat. Punk up and lands his Savage elbow.
Punk motions that it’s over. Miz up, but wiggles free. Miz tries for a SCF, but Punk reverses into his anaconda vice and Miz has to tap out.
Winner – Punk
Backstage Jericho is watching on a monitor with a smirk. Punk celebrates in the ring.
The ambulance backs into the space it was in earlier.
In Ring Segment
Cena out to the ring looking a bit out of sorts, possibly embarrassed? Cole talks up Cena’s Ambulance Match with Kane at the Elimination Chamber PPV. Cena listens to the pop, heat and chants. He says it was a bit of an awkward moment by the ambulance back there. He tried to apologize ti Ryder, but he wouldn’t listen. For what it’s worth, he’s sorry. This was Kane’s plan all along. Turn his friends and the WWE ‘Universe’ against him. Leave him alone with no other choice than to embrace the hate. Pretty solid plan, would have worked on anybody else. But he’s not anybody else. He can tell listening to the fans that if he’s harassed enough, he will get to his breaking point and just snap! “We all hate you!” chants from men fill the arena! It’s been like six years. People like that can’t understand that he’s comfortable in his own skin. People like that can’t understand that he’s proud to be who he is and do what he does. It’s people like that that don’t get that he rises above hate. It’s people like that that think that makes Cena soft. Maybe they take it as kindness. A message to those who think like that, and Kane. Go ahead and think that Cena needs to hate. Go ahead, think he’s a cream puff, Fruity Pebbles with lady parts who think that he can’t fight his way out of a paper bag! “Fruity Pebbles!” chants.
It’s funny, right? He’ll continue to do what he does. He will adapt. He will overcome. And he will win. We have his word this Sunday at Elimination Chamber, Kane will leave in an ambulance. As for his good friend Dwayne… “Rocky!” chants. Cena has a message for him about WrestleMania.
Ryder rolls out to the stage, stops. He gets on his (too short) crutches and pathetically struggles down the ramp, then up the stairs and into the ring. Cena stops himself from helping him. Cena talks to Ryder off mic. Ryder slaps the mic out of Cena’s hand. Cena removes his hat and tries again. Ryder slaps Cena across the face.
Ryder looks about to cry. Off comes Cena’s dog tags. Off comes Cena’s shirt. Ryder up in Cena’s face yelling. “You were never my friend John!” yells Ryder, off mic. Ryder up in Cena’s face. Ryder draws back, Cena blocks and pulls back to punch, but doesn’t. Ryder falls to the mat. Ryder tells Cena to stay the hell away from him. Ryder rolls out and slowly pathetics his way up the ramp.
Kane on the tron calling out, “Jo-ohn. Oh, Jo-ohn!” Kane says Cena is in denial, he can talk all he wants about rising above the hate. But Cena stole the one true love of his only friend. Kane thought he was sick, but Cena sunk to depths Kane could only dream of (Katy Vick?). Cena truly has finally embraced the hate. Unfortunately for Cena, he feeds of hate. Which means this Sunday will be the last time anyone sees Cena fight in a WWE ring until WrestleMania. Cena will not overcome. Cena will not adapt. Cena most certainly will not win. This Sunday his body and soul will leave the WWE ring in an ambulance. But before Kane leaves, let’s have a round of applause for John Cena.
Cena calls for a mic and starts to speak, but Kane is on stage behind Ryder. Kane grabs the chair and pushes Ryder off the side of the stage as Cena about freaks. Cena leaves the ring, grabs the ringside trainer and sends him running to Ryder as Cena runs to his friend. Cena to Ryder’s sign and throws up the X himself! Eve on her knees beside Ryder as Cena walks away with his head hung. Cena stops and looks back. Video of Kane pushing Ryder over the side. Some kids right there chant for Cena as the get Ryder on the board, then the stretcher – he already had the neck brace on! A couple male fans yelled to Cena and asked Cena if he was happy.
They strap Ryder onto the stretcher as Cena watches and stands beside Ryder.