RAW Results 4/23/12 – Starring Brock Lesnar, Right Johnny?

This three hour RAW starts with music and pyro.

In Ring Segment

Justin announces Teddy Long, former GM of Smackdown. He announces the contract signing, starting with Cena – 2 time World Heavyweight Championship and 10 time WWE Champion. (Teddy announced it backward – starting the show on a bad note, but Cole stated it the correct way for TV.) Cena to the ring with a smile. NCAA Champion, 3 time WWE Champion, UFC Champion – Brock Lesnar. Out comes Laurinaitis demanding the music stop, Brock isn’t there yet. Long stated that Laurinaitis sent him out. Laurinaitis stated he did no such thing. Laurinaitis tells Long to tell Cena it’s going to be so happy to sign. That Cena could be in his last match on RAW. Laurinaitis tells Long to tell Cena to leave his ring now! Long didn’t, Laurinaitis yelled at Long to do it, then Long did.

Laurinaitis then starts to welcome the fans, but Edge’s music cuts him off! Edge out to the ring with his new short haircut, jeans, leather jacket and white shirt. Cena applauds Edge in the ring. The fans are HOT for Edge. Edge says he’s not supposed to be there tonight, in a couple days he won’t be on contract. He came to talk to Cena. He could have done it privately, but hope it reaches him here. He’s not here to talk to this John Cena. He doesn’t know who this Cena is. He’s there to talk to the Cena who was his greatest rival in the WWE. He’s here to talk to the Cena that when Edge slapped his father, that Cena went to Toronto, his hometown, in his match – TLC – and beat Edge by chucking him through two tables, off a ladder. The Cena who beat the hell out of him and chucked him in the Long Island Sound.

This is not that Cena, he doesn’t know where that one went! He doesn’t know if it was the loss to the Rock. He gets it, people change after big matches. Ander after Hogan, Bret after the Screwjob, he gets it! Hell, Rock after being beat by Brock, took him eight years to find his mojo. What Cena doesn’t understand, he can’t lose. He has to find that Cena. Listen to him! All their differences, they’re polar opposites, but there’s one similarity they always had – how much they love this (the ring, wrestling, etc). More than anything else, all they wanted to do was this. Form when they were kids, this was it. You think this was it for Brock? Think Brock cares about them? He only cares about them if they line his pockets! He left for eight years while they carried the load. Cena needs to wake up. If he doesn’t, then it’s a slap in the face to guys who love this industry. Like HBK. Slap in the face to Taker. Slap in the face to Edge!

WAKE UP!

“Cena” chants, somewhat.

“I’m not asking you to beat Brock Lesnar. I’m telling you to!”

Edge dropped the mic and stomped up the ramp and out. Cena puts his hat back on, leans on the top rope and seems to think about things.

>Commercial

Jericho vs Kofi

Lights out, then Jericho’s jacket on stage. A completely new jacket with studs and blinkie lights all over in red and white lights. He comes out to the ring, soaking it all up. Kofi bounces out the ring.

They lock up, blows on Kofi, then knees to him in a corner. More blows on Kofi as the fans chant for him. Kofi reverses a whip and kicks at Jericho. Kofi with a monkey flip, then arm drags to Jericho. Drop kick to Jericho, then Kofi clotheslines Jericho from the ring. Kofi about to dive out, but uses the rope to his shoulders to stop himself. Jericho in and eats a drop toe hold into an arm bar! Jericho into the ropes, Kofi backed off, but Jericho with a thumb to Kofi’s eyes, over the ref’s head. Kofi whipped and clotheslined in the corner. Heat for Jericho who puts his hand to his ear to hear more.

Jericho on Kofi with a side headlock. “Kofi!” chants. Kofi up and pushes free. Jericho runs the ropes over and under Kofi until eating a back elbow. Kofi then flung high to land on the mat. Chops to Kofi in a corner. Kofi whipped, but moves and Jericho eats the corner, then falls outside. Kofi flips over the top rope and out onto Jericho.

>Commercial

Headlock on Kofi on the mat. During the commercial Jericho gained control. Kofi rolls Jericho up for two. Enziguri to Kofi for two. Blows on Kofi on the mat. Jericho pulls Kofi back with his knee in Kofi’s back, Kofi won’t give up. Kofi to his feet and free, but a knee to his gut. Bulldog from Jericho. Kofi avoids the lionsault, Jericho lands on his feet. Chops from Kofi, then a drop kick on Jericho. Jericho comes back with a clothesline for two. Jericho chops Kofi to the mat. Kofi whipped, but moves and kicks Jericho in the head – all very slowly. Kofi up with a cross body, Jericho rolled through for two. Kofi hits his SOS for two. Cross body to Jericho’s back. Boom drop and Kofi sets up Jericho. Jericho blocks trouble in paradise, but Kofi reverses out of the walls. Kofi climbs, but Jericho catches him with a Cody breaker on his way to the mat. Jericho locks on his newest version of the walls. Kofi taps out.

Winner – Jericho

High points of the match, then Jericho asked if they saw that? That’s proof that he’ll become the new WWE Champion. Punk knows all about being extreme. He has an extremely alcoholic father, an extremely drug addicted sister, and extremely morally challenged mommy. And he’s an extreme disappointment and failure as a Champion ad human being. In front of his hometown, family, friends and all of his wannabe fans – like all there tonight – will see an extreme beating from Jericho. He’s making an extremely generous gesture. He bought Punk a gift that he’ll present tonight. This will help him cope with the failure he’ll feel knowing that he lost the Title to Jericho and knowing that Jericho is alone the best in the world at everything he does. Jericho drops the mic the way Punk does, as if it’s a pipe bomb. Jericho from the ring and rips a Punk sign out of someone’s hand.

Video

Powerbombs and a huge beating on Jeff Hardy in Brock’s debut match. The ref called the match and Hardy didn’t move from the crumbled heap he was on the mat.

>Commercial

Backstage Segment

Laurinaitis on his phone talking about the contract signing. Eve in. He wants her to call him Johnny. They’re looking for an Executive Administrator. Eve isn’t thrilled at first, but then takes the job. He wants a hug, but gets a handshake.

Video

A replay of Brock’s interview from last week’s RAW. It was cut in a slightly different way, but that’s about it.

Backstage Segment

Josh approaches a daydreaming Punk and asks about the gift from Jericho. It was a basket full of liquor. If Jericho wants a gift, Punk has one for him and will give it at Extreme Rules. He re-gifted it to Josh, but kept a bottle of Jack Daniels. Josh leaves with a big smile on his face and the basket of booze.

>Commercial

Video

Tensai beating up on Cena in the main event last week. Otunga into the ring and he ate an AA, but Tensai with green mist and the win on Cena.

R-Truth vs Tensai w/ Sakamoto

R-Truth out, bumps hips with Little Jimmy, then out to the ring. Sakamoto out, then Tensai out and poses. They head to the ring. Split screen and Tensai speaks in Japanese. Cole says those are tattoos on Tensai’s face, but they’re sharpie.

Tensai on R-Truth, sending him into a corner. R-Truth out and a heel kick barely moves Tensai. R-Truth on Tensai, then an upper cut and into a corner, but moves. Tensai then crashes through R-Truth who lands on the mat in a pile. Head butts to R-Truth in a corner and the “YES!” chants start. Delayed vertical slam on R-Truth, then his back slam. Tensai yells into R-Truth’s face, then a sit down powerbomb. R-Truth rolls to the ropes and pulls himself up. Tensai spits mist into his own hand, then the claw on R-Truth. R-Truth slammed back with the claw for three.

Winner – Tensai

Tensai poses as Cole talks about Tensai becoming more dangerous in the ring each week. Video highlights of the match. Tensai on the ramp posing as he backs away.

Backstage Segment

Kane heading for the ring.

>Commercial

In Ring Segment

Fire erupts on stage, then Kane’s music hit. He comes out of the red lit smoke and heads for the ring. Kane says this Sunday night is his favorite night of the year. It’s the night WWE gets extreme. That means bad things for Orton. Orton found out at WrestleMania that he can’t beat Kane with rules, much less without them. He knows what Orton is going through. He’s struggling with his humanity and come to grips with Kane discovering his one true weakness. When Kane hit Cowboy he saw Orton suffer. He saw fear laced with the desperation of a son rendered helpless in the face of his father’s suffering. He watched Orton lay there by his father and a wave of disappointment overcame Kane. He realized that Orton is not a man, not the Viper, nothing more than a scared little boy crying out for his father in the middle of the night, begging for the nightmare to end. Praying that the monster will go away. Kane is the nightmare, the moster Orton will never wake up from.

Orton on the tron tells Kane to ask anyone, once you mess with his family, there’s no turning back. What he did to Orton’s father, he had to return the favor. The camera pulls back as Orton says that Kane’s old man and him had quite the time tonight. Isn’t that right Paul? Paul Bearer is sitting in a chair, roped down with duct tape over his mouth looking like death. Orton says it’s about time Kane came back and joined the fun. Orton opened the walk in freezer’s door, rolled Bearer back in the wheelchair he was in, then shut the door on him. Kane looks like he’s about to freak out, but then lets out a laugh. Kane says Orton never ceases to amaze him. He says the heart of a monster has no place for his father, as far as he’s concerned, his true father always has been the Devil himself. He could care less what Orton does to Paul Bearer. Kane says he has no intention on saving his father. Kane calls for fire from the corners and leaves the ring, but Orton is there on the ramp and attacks Kane. Kane head first into the ring post. Orton under the ring and grabs a pipe and hits Kane in the gut with it. The pipe to Kane’s back, then to Kane’s head sending him over the barrier. Kane is fleeing through the stands as Orton is in the ring with the pipe, then poses for the fans. Video recap of Orton’s attack on Kane ringside.

Announce Segment

Cole talks about how RAW started and how the contract signing didn’t happen. King says Edge came out and delivered a wake up call to Cena. Video recap of Edge in the ring yelling at Cena. Cena stands there stoically, almost like he’s in a fog. Get right up at Cena telling him to beat Brock Lesnar. Cena just stares, swallows.

>Commercial

Backstage Segment

Jericho walking along is stopped by Riley. Punk threw him out of the locker room as he was drinking from the gift basket. Jericho doesn’t believe him, thinks he’s lying. They go together to look. Punk is on cell drinking from a red Solo cup with the bottle of Daniels on the table in front of him. Jericho looks in again and Punk is taking another drink. Jericho actually looks shocked.

Cody Rhodes & ADR w/ Ricardo vs Big Show & Khali

ADR out in a 2012 Porsche 911 Carrera S. Cole talks about ADR now being on Smackdown. Cody out to the ring with a smile. Cody will be facing Big Show at Extreme Rules. Big Show and out to Big Show’s music. Khali is limping a bit after being attacked by Cody on Smackdown.

ADR in, but Khali wants Cody, so he tags in. Cody tries to kick, but Khali catches his leg and hops it. Cody into a corner, but Khali catches the knee and chops it again. Cody out to regroup with ADR and Ricardo. Cody back in and tags out. ADR into the match. ADR with a kick, but each a clothesline. ADR into a corner for a huge chop. ADR flees to regroup.

>Commercial

16,122 fans there for the sold out show, according to Cole. Both down, Khali tags out. Clotheslines to ADR, but Cody pulls the rope down and Big Show falls out. Cody stomps Big Show who then holds his knee. The ref starts counting Big Show out of the match. Big Show makes it in before ten. ADR stomps Big Show, then tags out. Cody with a flying chop to Big Show’s leg, then drops knees on Big Show’s leg. ADR tags in and on Big Show as Cody holds him. “Let’s go Big Show!” chants. ADR on Big Show with elbow drops and stomps for two. Cody tags in and stomps Big Show’s knee. Cody uses the rope to get higher to stomp Big Show’s leg. ADR tags in and wrenches a hold on Big Show’s left knee. Big Show uses his good leg to get free.

Cody tags in and on Big Show. Big Show grabs Cody, but he reverses out of a chokeslam. Cody locks on a figure four leg lock! Chants for Big Show as he yells and wiggles. A big blow to Cody makes him release the hold. Cody pins, but Big Show throws him off. ADR in, but Big Show is up. ADR and Ricardo flee as Big Show hits clotheslines on Cody. Cody is sent flying through the air by Big Show, then a chop from Khali outside. Big Show grabs Cody and hits a chokelsam on Cody for three.

Winners – Khali & Big Show

ADR and Ricardo are on the stage looking down as the bell is rung. Big Show tries to flex his knee and get the blood flowing.

Announce Segment

On YouTube will be a thirty minute pre-show where Santino will defend his Title against Miz.

>Commercial

Backstage Segment

Jericho is telling Laurinaitis that Punk is drinking and Laurinaitis needs to strip him of the Title. Eve says that any WWE Superstar is prohibited of drinking within 12 hours of a WWE show. Laurinaitis says he needs credibly proof of this. Jericho says to get Punk in the ring with an officer to perform a field sobriety test. Then Laurinaitis can strip Punk and give the Title to him. Jericho tells Eve she looks ravishing. Eve says Long didn’t follow the rules on Smackdown. Long doesn’t think it’s right that Laurinaitis embarrass Punk in the ring. Laurinaitis tells Long he’ll be doing it. Laurinaitis tells Eve that his good friend JR once taught him that if you have bad news to distribute, get somebody else to do it. Long leaves the office and Eve turns to Laurinaitis and says she thinks it’s a great idea.

Backstage Segment

Josh stops Brock and asks about him and Cena kicking off RAW, but where was Brock? Nothing. If Brock loses to Cena, will he still be the face of WWE? Brock slams Josh back into one of the WWE trucks, but then stops, lightly slaps Josh on the cheek and starts to leave. Josh says he’s was just trying to do his job. Brock grabs Josh and flings him through some metal grating that looks like part of the interview set. Josh lands and doesn’t move. Brock just looks down at Josh, then leaves. The camera comes in closer on Josh’s unmoving body.

>Commercial

Video

Cole narrates Brock’s attack on Josh backstage before the commercial. Cole says action needs to be taken. Sheamus was fines $500,00 for kicking a ref. They then go backstage where Josh is on a stretcher and being taken care of. He’s strapped down but has all feeling. They roll Josh out.

Divas Championship Lumberjill Match – Nikki Bella w/ Brie vs Beth

The Bellas in the ring in new silver and red outfits. Beth out to the ring. Video of Nikki beating Beth to get this match. The bell is about to ring, but Eve comes out with a mic to the stage. She says as newly appointed Executive Administrator to Mr. John Laurinaitis, it’s her responsibility to do what she can to improve the shows. With the Bellas propensity to cheat and the rest of the Divas just sitting around backstage, she’s made this a Lumberjill Match! Kelly, Natalya, Rosa, Kaitlyn, Aksana, Fox, Tamina and others hit the ring.

Nikki flung across the ring by Beth. Nikki flung by her hair. Drop kick to Beth. Monkey flip to Beth. Nikki slammed into a corner, then shoulders to her gut. Nikki kicks Beth, but Beth takes Nikki off the corner, then drops her to the mat. Kick to Nikki’s ribs, then choking her in the ropes. Beth lands on Nikki in the ropes and pins for two. Chinlock on Nikki, but she’s up and elbows free. Back breaker on Nikki for two. Nikki’s arms wrenched back as Brie cheers her sister on. Nikki elbows free, blows on Beth. Nikki drops down sending Beth into the ropes. Nikki for two. Nikki sent outside, Beth out on Nikki, but no other Divas over there. Brie pushes Beth off Nikki and Beth pushes back. All the Divas attacked Beth. Beth gets beaten down, then sent back in by Brie – Beth getting a wedgie in the process. Beth is favoring her ankle. Nikki rolls Beth up for three.

Winner & New Divas Champ – Nikki

Trainer checks on Beth who says her leg twisted as Cole says Nikki breaks Beth reign as she was almost the longest reigning Divas Champion. The Bellas celebrate in the ring, then up the ramp as Beth is tended to.

Backstage Segment

Long is in the locker room with Punk who’s saying it’s ridiculous as he’s acting inebriated. Long explains what Laurinaitis wants. He’s strait edge. Punk throws over a table, tries to break a stool and falls into his locker.

>Commercial

In Ring Segment

Long says per Mr. Laurinaitis he requires Punk to the ring. Jericho comes out and says any time Long’s in a power position, he’s incompetent. He wants this done right and wants to be there when Punk is stripped so Jericho can personally get it. Long says if Punk fails this, then yes, per Mr. Laurinaitis, Punk will be stripped of the WWE Championship and face further action. Long announces Punk who comes out looking drunk, but as if he’s trying to hide it. He trips on the end of the ramp and looks off kilter. He gives his mic to the officer, then poses on the corner with his belt. Back in the ring he takes the mic, but drops the belt. “CM Punk!” chants. Punk looks a the red line in the ring. Punk tells Long it’s ridiculous, it’s all ridiculous, and the entire BLEEP knows it’s ridiculous. Long tells him this is how it is.

The officer asks Punk to recite the alphabet, backwards. Punk smiles and doesn’t start while Jericho taunts Punk to do. “Has anybody in the history of the alphabet ever recited it backwards?” Punk starts. Z, x. Z,x,y, there’s a v in there somewhere. No one can do it drunk or sober, this is stupid. This is stupid officer! Long tells Jericho to back off, there’s more tests.

The officer asks Punk to walk the straight line. Punk asks what line? Jericho yells at Punk to quit stalling and do it! Punk says he didn’t see the line, it’s never there! Punk slowly walks over and says he knows he can do it, he’s seen Cops before! Wait, what movie is this from? Punk poses, then says it’s Karate Kid, thank you. Punk starts on the line and stops. He tells the officer to tell Jericho to shut it. Punk falls over. Jericho wants his belt. Punk says he’ll do it one more time. Hands out Punk can barely take one step, then another. Jericho says Punk is drunk, what more evidence is needed. If Punk can’t pass the test, then Punk will be stripped and Jericho gets the Title. Long asks the other officer what his final opinion about Punk. He says Punk is obviously intoxicated. Jericho thanks Detroit’s finest for making the right decision.

Long says he’s sorry and has no control in this matter and asks Punk to hand over the WWE Title. Jericho yells that CM Drunk needs to hand it over. Punk looks at the belt while Jericho taunts him. Punk says something to Long off mic. Punk starts to hand it over to Long. Punk’s head down and he hands it to Long. Jericho demands the Title. Long is about to hand it over and Punk asks for one more chance, he can do it. Jericho asks if the fans want him to get one more chance? How any chances does he need?

Punk to the red line. Long asks what was the first thing he had to do, the alphabet? Punk starts – Z,y,x, points to his hand, then continues to recite as he walks the line – forward and backward in what he admits is the worst moonwalk ever, but then he does the Flair strut and the fans are all ‘Wwwwhhhhoooooooooooooooooooo!’ for Punk. (He screws up S and T, but hey, leave him alone!) B, then he stops and scratches his head. A, then he attacks Jericho! Jericho rolls from the ring and Punk after him. Jericho sent into the barrier, then into the stairs and Punk on him like white on rice! All the way up the ramp, over the side and Jericho on his knees away. Long hands Punk his Title on the stage and Punk poses with a triumphant smile. Backstage Eve and Laurinaitis look pissed as they watch the monitor!

Video

Cole sets up for another Brock video. August 8, 2002 Brock faced Hogan on Smackdown. Brock took Hogan out winning the match with an F5 and a bear hug.

>Commercial

Sheamus vs Henry w/ Special Guest Ref Bryan

Sheamus to the ring with solid pop. Henry out to face him. Justin announces the Special Guest Ref – Daniel Bryan. Sheamus rolls his eyes as Bryan comes out in a zebra shirt yelling “YES!”

They lock up, Sheamus breaks free, but then a shoulder block to Sheamus. Sheamus on Henry, but then thrown in a corner. Sheamus in another corner, Henry reverses it. Bryan taunts Sheamus to hit him. Right in Sheamus’ face yelling at him to do it. Bryan backs off with a smile looking over Sheamus’ shoulder. Henry plows through Sheamus and gets the three.

Winner – Henry

Bryan throws his ref shirt at Sheamus as he leaves the ring. Sheamus out and grabs Bryan – he’s no longer the ref! Bryan tossed in the ring. Brogue kick to Henry, but then Bryan takes Sheamus to his knees and kicks him in the back of the head. Bryan then locks on the yes lock and yells “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” Bryan to his feet with another “YES!” Bryan backs up the ramp motioning for the belt, then more “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” Video recap of Bryan’s uber fast count when Henry took Sheamus down.

>Commercial

Backstage Segment

Striker asks Sheamus about what happened with Bryan. Sheamus calls him a sniveling coward and a snake in the grass. You know what happened to all the snakes in Ireland? Sheamus is no saint, but Matt should start praying.

Primo & Epico w/ Rosa vs Ryder & Santino

Epico, Primo and Rosa in the ring. Ryder out to the bottom of the ramp. Santino out speed walking to join him. They get in the ring together.

Epico and Ryder lock up. Ryder pushes Epico off and hits a solid arm drag. Epico then avoids it and rolls up Ryder. Ryder back slamming Epico to the mat while the fans chant for him. Epico down in a corner and gets that boot to the head. Primo pulls Epico from the ring. Ryder out and attacked from behind. Epico pins for one inside. Primo tags in, snap mare on Ryder. Chinlock on Ryder as the fans chant for him. Ryder up and free, and hits a sunset flip for two. Epico on the apron kicks the camera. Primo with blows on Ryder, then slams him to the mat. Slingshot move from Primo, but Ryder moves.

Santino tags in and hits his moves, down to the flying head butt. Cobra out. Epico in and Ryder flips him out over the top with a head between his legs and a body drop. Primo hits a drop kick that barely touches Santino. Santino rolled back and to his feet. Cobra and three.

Winners – Santino & Ryder

Ryder with the trombone in the ring as they celebrate. Recap of the high points and back to Santino and Ryder celebrating.

Announce Segment

Cole is very upset with what Brock did to Josh backstage. Recap of Brock’s attack on Josh.

>Commercial

Hornswoggle and Funkasaurus dancing in the ring in matching ring gear. EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! Vickie announces Swagger and Dolph to the ring wearing a strange and horrible outfit!

Clay and Dolph in, but Dolph wants Hornswoggle. Dolph on his knees calls Hornswoggle. Hornswoggle tags in. Hornswoggle shakes, then hit a drop kick on Dolph, but then came back and ate Dolph’s foot. Dolph stomps Hornswoggle. Vickie laughs outside. Dolph picks Hornswoggle up, but Hornswoggle hits head scissors. Both tag out. Swagger is whipped, then eats a splash. Dolph in and eats a head butt. Fall away slam on Swagger. Vickie into the ring yelling and slaps Clay.

Winners – Clay & Hornswoggle via DQ

Vickie in Clay’s face, doesn’t realize the dancers are behind her. She calls for a time out and gives Clay his hat. She then tries to dance with Clay, but Hornswoggle grabs Vickie and bits her ass. Vickie screams and flees the ring still yelling. They all dance in the ring together. Hornswoggle gets stuck in a split, so Funkasaurus picks him up.

Video

March 30, 2003, Angle faced Brock in the ring. This is the match that Brock hit that SSP in the ring and knocked himself silly; doesn’t remember the rest of the match. They don’t show that, but they show Brock winning after hitting three F5s on Angle.

>Commercial

Video

They replay that Brock video, reworked a little more, but still saying the same things over more videos of him attacking people.

In Ring Segment

Laurinaitis says he’s looking forward to Extreme Rules. It’s his first since becoming GM of both RAW and Smackdown. He’s also excited about the main event, pitting two of the biggest Superstars in WWE history against each other. Before the official contract signing, he wants to introduce the man who will be the new face of the WWE, Brock Lesnar. Brock out, bounces on the stage, but still doesn’t yet get his pyro! In the ring Brock pushes his chair over, looks at the binder with the contract, not impressed with any of it. Laurinaitis then announces simply, “John Cena.” Brock leans on the table waiting, but no Cena. Laurinaitis doesn’t look happy. Off mic he asks what’s happening. The fans are chanting those five little words for Cena. Laurinaitis is still demanding to know what’s going on.

Brock picks up a mic and says, “Come on out little Johnny.” Fly him all the way to Detroit for a contract signing and this guy is too scared to show up. Cena’s too scared to come out, that’s fine. To give Laurinaitis explanation on why he was absent, or tardy getting there today. He got a little business they need to discuss. Since John doesn’t have the BLEEP (balls) to show up, why doesn’t Laurinaitis have a seat? Sit down please.

Brock and Laurinaitis sit. Brock says he spent some time going through his head of some changes he wants and needs, Mr. Laurinaitis. Changes, that’s right. He didn’t stutter. No, they didn’t have an agreement. There was supposed to be a match on Sunday, but since he’s been back, he’s not happy with how things have turned out. He has a few business demands, requests, small ones, that Laurinaitis will have to sign off on. He brought Laurinaitis, so he doesn’t get it mixed up, he brought a copy of the things he wants changed by Sunday. Actually, he wants them changed now, before he signs for this Extreme Rules match on Sunday. See, John, he’s not the same little naïve farm boy that was there five years ago. As Laurinaitis can see, he has a few changes. Since he’s no the naïve farm boy, he’s an enterprise, John. He is this company. This company needs Brock Lesnar. If he’s going to be the face of this company, he needs some changes. Laurinaitis thinks he’s the boss around there, but Brock disagrees. From now on, any thought that goes through Laurinaitis’ mind about Brock, or anything else around there, he’ll have to go through Brock. Laurinaitis looks pissed.

Brock says that’s right. See, down here, since all major decisions go through him, now when he goes to RAW, he get’s VKM’s private jet, to and from the venue. That’s right. See, what makes Brock happy is beating people up. So when he got here tonight, and the so called interview, he got the chance to beat somebody up already. There’s one thing Brock doesn’t like, and that’s people. He doesn’t like people. Especially stupid people.

Another thing, he’ll show up on RAW when he wants and how he wants. He’s not going to be Laurinaitis’ puppet on a string like the other guys in the back. That ain’t gonna happen.

Another thing, Laurinaitis walks around here fining people. Fining a guy like Sheamus for pushing a ref around. Laurinaitis won’t be fining Brock, in fact, he’ll be paying Brock more money. Until the demands are made, right now, this match on Sunday… (sic) “You suck!” chants for Brock stops him in his tracks. He doesn’t care what anybody says or thinks about him. That’s supposed to annoy him? He doesn’t get annoyed by that, John.

Until these demands are made, there is no match at Extreme Rules. (sic) Brock leans back and puts his feet on the desk. Brock says in fact, here’s another thing. On the very last line, exhibit A, section 3, if Brock is the face of Monday night, a new name has to be made. It’s no longer going to be just Monday Night RAW. It’s now going to be Monday Night RAW Starring Brock Lesnar. Laurinaitis looks about green.

Brock tells Laurinaitis to make him happy. If Laurinaitis makes him happy, Brock will make Laurinaitis happy by signing the contract for Extreme Rules. Laurinaitis nods off mic. Laurinaitis says he agrees and shakes Brock’s hand as they both stand. Brock pulls Laurinaitis in close and tells Laurinaitis to tell everyone that he agrees to it. Laurinaitis, on mic, says he agrees to Brock’s terms. Brock thanks him. Since Brock got what he wanted, Laurinaitis gets what he wants, his photo op. Brock holds up the pen, then signs as the “Cena!” chants get louder.

Cena’s music hits and he comes ot the the stage slowly, grinding his teeth. Brock smirks and motions Cena to the ring. Cena heads down to the ring as if he’s in a fog. He takes his big chain with the lock on it from around his neck and wraps it around his right hand. Brock leans back in his chair, leaning on the second rope. The dueling chants start, but the, “Let’s go Cena!” was a lot louder than the “Cena sucks!” chants were here. Cena is ready with the chain as he pulls his chair out of the way. Brock holds up both fists, then crosses his arms. Brock then leans back and motions Cena to sign. Cena doesn’t do anything. Brock to his feet. Cena picks up a pen, then glares more at Brock. “Cena!” chants.

Brock grabs a mic and asks what’s the matter? Sign the contract. Cena still looks like he’s in a fog. Cena grabs the contract and looks at it. Brock says the problem is that Cena stands there and Brock feels this vibration from him. He’s liking what he’s feeling. He likes it a lot. You know what Cena’s sensing? Brock says it’s a real feeling because Brock can feel it. Cena is scared. Cena glares. Brock is the reason Cena lost last week. Brock is the reason Cena is feeling the way he feels the way he does. The big, bad boogey-man Brock Lesnar has been racing around Cena’s mind. Scared, Cena is scared. Sign the damn contract. Cena sign and throws it at Brock. Cena pulls back that chained fist. Brock pulls back his own fist with the mic in it. Brock rolls the table at Cena, then smiles. Brock circles around one side of the table, Cena circles the other way to keep the table between them. Brock taunts Cena, smiling as he looks over his shoulder and leaves the ring. On the apron is another smile, then he drops down. Brock backs up the ramp saying his own name over and over at Cena.

Biggest pop
Edge
Punk
Sheamus

Biggest heat
Brock
Laurinaitis
Vickie

Most mixed
Cena

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  • Amsterdam

    Did Michael Cole really call the walls of jericho the lionsault??

    • amaanakter786

      I wouldn’t be surprised if he did only vince seems to think cole is actually good at his job

      • http://wweeverything.con Josh UK

        Why does everyone hate on cole he does his character perfectly

  • AJG316

    God I hate commercials. They make this live coverage thing ALOT slower

    • kbunyon

      I write as fast as I can and post during the commercials. So commercials are a good thing as they give me the time to actually post.

      KB

  • Vince

    EDGE RETURNS and slaps cena cant be much happier than that

  • Pronix

    beth phoenix broken ankle?….cant believe im even commenting on a diva match….too lazy to grab a drink lol.

  • bob

    Poor Josh Matthews. He suffered at the hands of 'The War Machine', Brock Lesnar……

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

  • Bob

    Did Punk say WWF? Lol

    • Bob

      I answered this for u and people are going to start thinking we are same people…..yes he said WWF

  • AJG316

    I'mI'm glad that we have a new divas champ because I want maryse to ALWAYS remain as the longest reigning divas champ in wwe history. I miss maryse the divas division isn't the same with out that BEAUTIFULL FRENCH CANADIAN WOMEN. WWEs biggest mistake = firing maryse

    • XKonn247

      They didn’t fire her. She quit.

  • AJG316

    It just hit me that Nikki is the new divas champ and her contract expire soon. this makes for a very interesting storyline that could reviv the divas division is used correctly ;-D

  • http://www.totalbarca.com/ Marc4barca

    Haha WWE taking indirect shots at TNA by showing Lesnar past destruction of wwe stars who are now in TNA. Jeff hardy and now Hulk Hogan. who next? Kurt?

    • Bob

      seems you were right

    • asim :D

      wrestlemania 19 bein shown now, u were right lol

    • mark3man

      Lol its happened

    • Bob

      Yes lol

    • JamieSNZ

      You called it.

  • Bob

    The adverts in UK has messed up and missed the riley and us belt promos

  • Writer

    No brotus clay yet?

    • http://wwe.com U CAN’T C ME

      Brodus Clay is probable the main event today

  • Bob

    the beeb wasnt great in uk version and Punk called it the WWF belt

    • Wardy

      He called it wwf on purpose as he was acting drunk! Punk wouldn’t make a mistake like that!

  • http://wwe.com U CAN’T C ME

    Brock Lesnar is such a jerk. He should go to jail. He’s just a bastard

    • XKonn247

      You know it’s not real right?

      • http://wwe.com U CAN’T C ME

        I know it’s not real. But that’s just a man with no soul

  • Bob

    Was Nikki showing camel toe thru out her match?

    • Matt

      Say what! WTF I thought this was PG!

    • C.J. Lewis

      I saw that too, lol!

      • Chopper

        O yes loved the toe lol

  • http://wwe.com U CAN’T C ME

    CM Punk totally facked the drinking beer. He probably drunk water

  • Bob

    Cole said something correct for once "I cant believe we sat thru that" in reference to the funkyhorn match…

  • Kamikazangel

    Hahahhahah now kurt angle hehehhe tna did you see this brock owned all your rooster

    • HRoll

      *roster. Dumbass

  • Kleck

    Wow, really needed to waste time tonight. 2 Lesner interviews, Edge, CM Punk ‘drunk’, contract signing…

  • Chris

    Jeff Hardy, Hulk Hogan, RVD, Kurt Angle. Anybody else notice the trend here?

    • Matt

      You’re right they did show RVD. Ignore my post below then

  • Matt

    Ha ha! WWE hitting TNA 3 times, first Hardy then Hogan then Angle! LOL

  • Matt

    Whats the stipulation for Santino vs. Miz? I want 2 know!

  • James

    Contract Signings with CM Punk are way better than with Brock Lesnar

  • Matt

    Do you ever think that USA network gets mad at WWE for always running raw past end time? #curious

  • Kleck

    John Cena looks so silly just standing there with a sour look on his face like someone stole his bike. Keep sucking money out of him Vince, he has personality but all for naught under the current direction.

    We all miss WrestleMania season…

  • Matt

    Big show vs. Cody Rhodes is on for Sunday! Also will be attending smackdown tommorow! P.S. it’s been how long sence last raw update?

    • kbunyon

      I will apologize for that. Three hour shows are really hard for me to sit through. Let's just say that I had a little attack of the Crohn's and I'm sure you can figure it out.

      Also, I wanted to make sure I caught every word and nuance in the last segment. I always find them the most interesting to write.

      KB

  • A.J.

    The worst raw in a long ass time.I can sit through alot of the boring raws but for this one I couldn’t help forwarding every boring part of the show(which was almost the whole thing).I waited a whole week for the contract signing and all I got was horrible talking.possibly the worst raw of all time.

  • andy

    wait until kharma gets back so that she can get revenge on the bellas before they leave

  • RoadawarriorNuste

    He called it the lion rammed which is the Walls of Jerichos orginal name

    • Razmos01

      The original name is actually a lion tamer!!

    • Chris

      Lion tamer. Not rammed. Lol

  • search4theyeti

    That's not a new version of the Walls of Jericho Thats the Liontamer!

  • Razmos01

    Haha WWE mocking Ultimate Warrior much? Brock refusing to wrestle unless his demands are met for more pay etc!!

  • Tyler Bowles

    So Lesnars demands were pretty stupid? That segment was boring last night.

  • Jessie Skys

    WWE sucks!

  • Patrick_Peralta

    Didn't watch Raw but read Kendra's Blog and I noticed something KHARMA Might (Just a Guess) return next week it's to Perfect.

    1: Last Year Kharma said she hoped when she returned the Bella's were still in WWE.

    2: Bella's contract is up next week and one of them is the new Diva's Champion.

    3: so it's a good bet that Kharma returns next week to destroy the Bella's on their way out of WWE and win the Diva's Title and get her revenge for them making fun of her last year when she left due to ( At the time ) being pregnant..

  • jeb

    All I've got to say is…Punk is a damn good actor haha

  • Akk47_

    Hate cena &y did he slap edge!!!! +punk drinks in reality and wwe is fake but I still like it

  • Bob

    I smell Paul heyman returning something in the last segment gives me that feeling

  • havoc525

    So, ummm, I guess Brock wanted some changes?

  • H.M.

    Brock isn't any CM Punk but that last segment worked wonders for what it was.

    Speaking of Punk, his attempts at trying to be drunk were pretty hilarious. I had a feeling it was a ruse.

    I have to say, I've never been this excited for a B-level WWE PPV in a long time. It looks to be pretty damn exciting. My only gripe would be that I have failed to really see any actual 'extreme' stipulations for the most part but oh well.

  • Ronnie “D”

    Somebody call in Goldberg or Triple H for backup, cause someone needs to put this fool down, cause Cena can’t do it alone.

  • alex

    Raw was very boring. The last segment, you were just hoping for it to end, starting from Brock almost always stuttering, and trying to act like he’s talking in the locker room with somebody backstage. Cena had the most dumbest look on his face when being confronted by Brock. The Brotus Clay segment was even more boring. Need a little more excitement, and a little bit more attitude era segments.. Oh, and where is the Rock?? Hopefully something with Brock and the Rock will come out of this story line, or maybe even Batista… Brock’s character is kind of boring, and he needs some bigger competition..

  • http://wwe.com U CAN’T C ME

    Why did cena bring out his chain gang chain

  • William

    Just because they are showing past superstars now in TNA getting beat down by Brock doesn't mean they are attacking them.WWE could care less TNA and what they do they are not the old WCW.These guys happened to go to TNA because they had no choice if they wanted to work and stay in the spotlight,