RAW this week starts with video recap of Jericho facing Cena in the main event last week on RAW. It was the first time they’ve faced off in two years. Cena had Jericho up for an AA, but Big Show distracted and Jericho got Cena in the walls. Big Show in and a leg drop to the back of Cena’s neck. HUGE chokeslam to Cena. Big Show then locked on the colossal clutch. Big Show stood over Cena after it was all done.
Music & Pyro
In Ring Segment
Cena out to the ring, all smiles. He talks about what an exciting bunch there tonight. He says after seeing what happened to Cena at the hand of Jericho and Big Show, he’d be upset himself. He could come out vengeaful. After that he thanked both of them. Jericho said the truth, he hasn’t been in a MITBLM and needs to be prepared. That’s what happened! He was facing Jericho, then had to deal with Big Show – but it’s worth it for the Title shot. That was his crash course for MITB. After that, he needs to be prepared for everything! Giants, heavy metal singers, tables, ladders, chairs, monsters, body parts flying everywhere and he will be. He stands by what he said, at MITB, two things happen. Not only does Big Show lose, but he goes home an empty handed sewage baby (what?). Two, he’ll grab the contract, cash it in and become the next WWE Champ!
“YES!” “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” all the way to the way, but the fans give him “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” Cena says weird form of six degrees of separation, even Bryan agrees with him. Bryan says he didn’t even realize Cena was out there. Cena’s not relevant to him. Not true, at MITB, he’ll beat Punk to be the new WWE Champ! “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” “NO!” And if, if Cena manages to get his hands around that (the case hanging above the ring) then his relevance to him will be the first Superstar cashing in and losing!
Cena says they’re strong words, but he can think of a person who disagrees with Bryan…
Actually, John, I can think of a lot more who disagree with Bryan. Punk comes down the ramp as he’s speaking. Does he disagree with Bryan? “YES!” Does Cena? “YES!” Does King? “YES!” Does the guy selling popcorn agree? “YES!” This side? “YES!” That side? “YES!” Punk gets the chants going, but Bryan demands them to shut up. He wants an original thought, not just steal his catchphrase.
Punk says, an original thought? Bryan’s ex-girlfriend is the Special Guest Ref for their match at MITB. And she will count Bryan’s shoulders 1-2-3. How’s that for an original thought. If Cena wins the MITBLM, then it comes down to them again, doesn’t it?
Jericho’s music hits. He comes out and says it’s not an original thought! Here’s an original thought, you’re still a wannabe! Bryan, if he’s talking about people stealing catchphrases, it happens all the time – “Mr. Best-In-The-World!”
“No problem Mr. Bon Jovi!” Is Punk’s reply! Jericho doesn’t like this much, but ignores it. Jericho tells Bryan to get past the tired one word and come up with some real catchphrases.
“Nobody asked you to be part of this conversation!” bellows Bryan.
“Would you please shut the hell up!” yells Jericho. Allow Jericho to welcome everyone to RAW Is Jericho! After tonight, none of you will ever EVER! be the same a-gain! (As much as Jericho doesn’t want to be Y2J, he is GLOWING after he finishes this line!) The fans who know this, love it. “You just need a few extra arrows in your quiver kid, it’s all you need,” Jericho says to Bryan. Jericho says Cena does need to be better prepared. Since Jericho invented the MITBLM, he will win it. He dares them, or anyone to come down to this ring and tell him otherwise!
Fire erupts! Out comes Kane to the ring. Up, over the side and in. Jericho holds still, his eyes looking very overly nervous. Kane pulls Jericho’s hand and mic up and simply says, “Otherwise!”
Big Show’s music, Cena is ready, over to the ropes calling for Big Show to come out, so Bryan attacks Cena from behind. Jericho, Kane and Punk get involved. A clothesline to Punk from Jericho, then Jericho is tossed in a corner as Kane goes off on Punk. Big Show with blows on Cena, then Kane attacks Big Show from the side. Big Show takes Kane down. Big Show is the only one left standing. He leaves the ring and all in it on the mat, except Bryan who is on the floor.
Did You Know?
When RAW debuted in 1993, Kim Kardashian was 12, Katy Perry was 8, Rihanna was 4, Miley Cyrus was 2 months old, and Justin Beiber wasn’t even born yet!
Cole says at that point King was in his prime. King took the joke well. They go on to talk about Charley Sheen and hot to get involved.
8 Man Tag Team Match – Young & O’Neil & Cody & Otunga vs Kofi & R-Truth & Christian & Santino
The four heels to the ring together. Kofi’s music and he comes out with his team, all with smiles.
The ref continues to clear the ring. Christian and Young lock up. Young on Christian with blows, but Christian back with a slap. Christian whipped, gets his feet up, then missile drop kick for two. R-Truth tags in and on Young. R-Truth reverses, dances, then on Young hard. Kofi tags in and slingshots off the top onto Young. Kofi sets up, but O’Neil drags Young out. Kofi flies out onto O’Neil, but then a big clothesline from Young. All the men out on that side of the ring arguing over Kofi’s prone body.
Cody had Kofi bent back over his knees in a beautiful submission. AW has a mic on him. O’Neil tags in and grabs Kofi. Kofi slammed to the mat as AW cheer-leads, tells Kofi to stay down. O’Neil wastes time and eats a drop kick! All want to tag in and Otunga faces Santino. Santino takes Otunga down, then a cutter, but Young and O’Neil break it up. They’re all in, but Kofi sends O’Neil out and AW takes his boys and says they don’t need this now! They’re gone.
Hip toss on Otunga, but Otunga moves out of the way of the head butt. Cody won’t tag Otunga out of the match. Funkasaurus’ music hits and out he comes as Santino gets the cobra ready. Christian sends Otunga back in. then R-Truth and Kofi sends Otunga in. Funkasaurus sends Otunga in. Otunga eats the cobra for three.
Winners – Santino & Kofi & R-Truth & Christian (8:51)
Christian hits the killswitch on Otunga, then Funkasaurus in to splash him. All of them in there dancing with some kids, Funkasaurus and his dancers!
Long is dancing along with the music. ADR in and says Long should be the GM. Long doesn’t believe it. ADR says he can’t get his rematch, none of these crazy matches are fair. He needs to get what he deserves. Board of Directors says ADR is the #1 contender. But that’s the Board of Directors, Long says ADR is going to be in a match – next. It’s a Teddy Long surprise, playah!
January 1999 – Steph says she loves when Shane was training VKM to face SCSA at the Royal Rumble. She loves how Shane was yelling at VKM through a megaphone. VKM had to run in the snow, busting up ribs in a meat locker, chasing chickens in the snow. VKM didn’t actually catch the chicken.
Cole says he followed the same regime when he was going to face King. They both laugh.
ADR w/ Ricardo vs Sin Cara
Ricardo announces ADR, who comes out in a beautiful 1955 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud. Cole says he drove it from his home just outside Mexico City, about 10 hours. The fans care chanting something not very nice in Spanish at ADR! Sin Cara out to face him.
ADR attacks Sin Cara as he slides in. ADR stomps Sin Cara, then slams him into a corner. Then another corner. Sin Cara out and ADR jumps out on him. ADR locks on his cross arm breaker. Sin Cara taps out over and over, but the match never started! A bunch of refs get ADR off him, and while ADR is smiling, the fans are again chanting loudly and in wonderful unison. I think they’re chanting ‘pendejo’ but I’m mot quite sure. The refs check on Sin Cara as Ricardo and ADR are all smiles, talking happily.
A hand is shown with a red X on the tape. The camera pulls back to show it’s AJ! Bryan sneaks up on her, steals a red rose from an arrangement, then walks up to AJ with it and says he’s always cared about her. He was frustrated at himself for messing things up and didn’t know how to react. He’s sorry. He presents her with the rose. She says it’s so sweet. And it has nothing to do with her being Special Guest Ref. Bryan doesn’t care about her. Bryan never cared about her. She can’t wait to win her match and run into the arms of the man the WWE sees as her soul mate. AJ rips the head of the rose off with her mouth, spits it out and hands Bryan the stem!
Heyman is getting ready to make a statement. Cole talks about it over Heyman getting prepped.
Promo for the Great American Bast on the Live Smackdown tomorrow night!
Triple H asked for a match against Brock at SummerSlam. Heyman came out the next night and went off on Trip, saying Brock wouldn’t face him, but then Heyman said something about Steph. Trip punched Heyman out and said he’d see Brock at SummerSlam.
Cole asks Heyman if Brock accepts the challenge. Heyman says Brock has made a decision. Brock will give it to Trip, face to face at the 1000th RAW. He has no doubt Trip wants to face Brock, but not why we think. Will Trip need the money to fight Heyman? Yes, but there’s more. Why would Trip want to face Brock at SummerSlam? It’s Trip’s way out. It’s so Trip doesn’t have to face a beating in the ring. Brock will end Trip’s career. Then Trip can be the heir apparent, the loving father, doting husband. They will tell Trip he was the last of an era, went out on his shield, on a blaze of glory against Brock. If Brock accepts this match at SummerSlam, it won’t be a match, it will be a mercy killing. Heyman laughs into his fist.
Kane will face Big Show in a No DQ Match. Also a Mixed Tag Match between Sheamus and AJ versus Ziggler and Vickie.
Slam of The Week
Last week on Smackdown Ziggler got into Vickie’s face, yelling, demanding until she slapped him hard across the face.
Mixed Tag Match – Vickie & Ziggler vs AJ & Sheamus
EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! She is announcing the most wonderful and charismatic Diva in history – her! She calls herself the ‘Queen Diva!’ She simply announces Ziggler and they head to the ring. AJ out to the ringside area and waits for Sheamus. Video from Smackdown when AJ was announced the Special Guest Ref for MITB, then AJ goes all “YES!” on Vickie and Bryan. AJ is all smiles from watching that. Sheamus out to join her.
Vickie pushes AJ, Sheamus grabs AJ out of the air to stop her. He puts her on the apron and calmed her. Ziggler on Sheamus, but Sheamus behind takes him down. Ziggler with a side headlock, then an elbow and a drop kick on Sheamus for two. Arm bar on Sheamus, but he punches out. Sheamus telegraphs and is kicked, but then Ziggler elevated and Ziggler falls. Forearm on Ziggler for two. Ziggler tries to escape, but can’t. Ziggler kicks at Sheamus’ leg, but then is tossed out. Big DDT on Sheamus for two. Chinlock on Sheamus on the mat. Sheamus up and hits an arm drag as Vickie screeches. Big forearm to Ziggler’s face. Sheamus sets up Ziggler and hits white noise. Sheamus sets up for the brogue kick, but Ziggler sees this and tags out.
Vickie isn’t impressed, all screechy. Ziggler eats a brogue kick on the apron. AJ on Vickie with a kick, then a shining wizard on Vickie for three.
Winners – AJ & Sheamus (3:29)
AJ’s music and she grabs a mic. She yells “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” all the way around the ring, up the ramp and out. Video of the brogue kick.
AJ is still all “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” She looks for Punk, but he’s on his cell. She gets tweaky about who he’s on his cell with. He missed her match because he was on his phone with his sister. She gets really upset about this. He didn’t know she had a match. “You weren’t paying attention to me?” AJ asks with tears in her voice, then she takes off. Punk shrugs and points to his phone at a loss
Slater vs Doink
Slater in the ring. Video of Slater getting a beating from Vader, then Lauper, Richter, Piper. Last week it was Sycho Sid. Slater looks at the tron and says the fans think it’s funny? It’s not funny! He’s the one man band, baby! I’m not a clown! Doink to the ring.
They circle. They lock up. Side headlock on Slater. Hammer lock on Slater. Doink taunts, but a kick takes Doink down. Kneelift to Doink and Slater gets nasty at the fans. Doink fights back with a blow, a stomp, chops but Slater reverses a whip into a cutter for three!
Winner – Slater (1:24)
In Ring Segment
DDP out and everyone goes wild! Of course, Slater won with the cutter! DDP with his diamond cutter hand sign. Slater then throws it, but gets heat. Hand shake, half hug, but DDP won’t let go and pulls Slater into a diamond cutter!
Split screen, Big Show on the left, Kane on the right, heading to the ring for their match.
Cena and Fox at Walter Reed Medical Center with the soldiers recovering from injuries. Cena got in a pull ups contest with one of the guys.
No DQ Match – Kane vs Big Show
Kane out to the ring in his over mask. Fire from the corners as King says he doesn’t like where they’re sitting for this match. They need to be further from the ring. Big Show stomps out to the ring, shirt coming off on his way down.
Big Show on Kane with a kick and blows. A big chop to Kane, but Kane comes back with blows. Shoulder block to Kane who rolls out. Kane up and hangs Big Show up top. Shoulder block drops Kane from the apron and he eats barrier. Big Show goes for a big boot, but Kane moves and Big Show hung up on the barrier. Big Show reverses and sends Kane into the stairs. Big Show grabs Kane by the neck, but Kane gets free. Kane locks it on, but Big Show forces out and Kane eats table. Bit kick to Kane – HUGE height! Kane sent back in, and Big Show grabs a chair. Kane with blows as Big Show comes over the top. Kane somehow manages a big DDT for two. Kane climbs, but Big Show ducks. Kane picks up the chair, but Big Show spears him – though the chair, possibly Kane knocked his head on the chair. Big Show chokeslams Kane onto the chair for three.
Winner – Big Show (3:48)
Big Show stomps up the ramp and out.
Long says he heard she was coming back tonight. It’s Eve. She tries to kiss up. He has something to remind the fans as to who she is. It’s a big Eve name tag. Long leaves and Eve comes up on AJ. She says Eve might be taking a play from her book. She should leave it to the women and sit in the corner and cry like a little girl. “You’ll do anything to get attention, won’t you Eve?” AJ says she tried to butter up Laurinaitis, but he’s gone. Who’s next? She wants to be a movie star? Reality shows? She will do anything to get attention. She wants attention, AJ will show her. AJ will show ‘all of them.’
April 27, 1998 – DX with their military Jeep and Trip is dressing them down for the fight. ADR loves this moment. They invade WCW. He says that’s when they started watching the WWE in Mexico. They had the fans outside the WCW event wild for DX, but they were closed out, then escorted away.
Tyson Kidd vs Tensai
Kidd is in the ring, waiting. Tensai out past Sakamoto.
Tensai backs Kidd to the corner, then head butts to Kidd. Tensai rushes Kidd, but Kidd moves. Kidd rolls Tensai up for a quick three.
Winner – Kidd (0:18)
Kidd on the barrier celebrating his win. Tensai beats the heck out of Sakamoto in the ring, then out to the floor. Video of Kidd’s win. Tensai is busted open between his eyebrows. She stares up at the case.
Bryan says he hopes Jericho isn’t wearing that stupid jacket, it’s embarrassing. Jericho goes off on Bryan’s maroon jacket. Jericho says they need to stop fighting and get on the same page, so Bryan answers, “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” Jericho starts yelling, “Ever a-gain!” It ended up being – “YES!” “A-gain!” “YES!” “Ever a-gain!” “YES!” “A-gain!” “YES!” “A-gain!”
Punk says they have a past, but he thinks he’s grown since becoming Champ, so why not follow Punk’s lead out there. Cena says he’ll just listen to Punk, slaps him on the back, then leaves, but Punk isn’t happy with the way Cena said it.
Josh in to talk about Kidd about the roll he’s on Kidd says he’s feeling great, but then Tensai attacks from behind and slams Kidd into the lockers over and over. Kidd is left in a heap on the floor.
Jericho & Bryan vs Punk & Cena
The lights go out and the fans go wild! Jericho’s blinkie jacket, and he comes out to the ring. Bryan out to the ring yelling “YES!” Some not so friendly looks between Jericho and Bryan. Punk’s music and he comes out to the ring. Cena out to round out the match.
The bell rings, all four in the ring, but then Punk and Bryan lock up. Punk slammed down, then Bryan yells “YES!” They lock up. Side headlock on Bryan. Shoulder block to Punk, but then a couple sick arm drags, then chops to Bryan! Snap suplex on Bryan for two. Cena tags in and slams Bryan face first into a corner, he comes out into a bulldog for two. Bryan crawls at tags out quickly!
Jericho points up, then they lock up. Side headlock on Cena. Shoulder block dropped Cena, then Jericho yells smack at Cena. Tight side headlock on Jericho, then a shoulder block. Jericho up for the AA, but Cena staggers back and Jericho uses the ropes to get free. Cena slams into Jericho sending him flying from the apron. Jericho is left on the floor holding his shoulder.
Jericho stomps Cena down in the heel corner, then gloats, but Cena up and on both of them. A lariat clothesline to Cena for two. Cena taunts Cena and Punk, but won’t let Cena tag out. Jericho pins Cena with a foot while posing like Hogan! Chinlock on Cena while the women and children chant for him. A knee frees Cena, but he runs into a back elbow. Cena avoids the lionsault and Jericho is left holding his knee. Punk yells orders to Cena. Punk is able to tag out, Bryan drops an elbow on Cena to stop his advance. Blows and kicks to Cena with a “YES!” each time. Big drop kick to Cena in the corner for two.
Head butt from Bryan! Jericho tags in and kicks Cena while Bryan holds him. High knee while a dueling chant for Cena. Super Cena tries to fight back. They either botched or really had holds on each other and blocked well (I pick the latter). Front facelock on Cena on the mat. Cena up and gets Jericho up, but Jericho reverses into a DDT! Jericho rolls Cena and pins for two. The camera pulls way back to the nose bleed seats looking to the ring for a moment. Jericho whipped, but Cena eats a foot. Cena reverses a whip and both are down!
Cena makes the dive, both tag out. Punk off the top and on Bryan in a big way. Really on Bryan, the ‘vintage’ high knee in the corner, then Punk locks on the anaconda. Jericho in and breaks the hold, but Cena grabs Jericho and they fight up the ramp.
In the ring Bryan is whipped, floats over. Bryan with head scissors, but Punk reverses it and pins Bryan for two. One kick to the back of Punk’s head, then another and Bryan pins, but only gets two! Bryan is shocked. Bryan up top, Punk on him with blows. Punk climbs, sets up, yells “YES!” and hits the superplex! Punk only gets two and is shocked!
AJ’s music and out she comes skipping. They ignore her, so she stops and watches. They kick back and forth. AJ on the apron. They both try for a cross body and collide. AJ looks under the ring, nothing. Looks under another side, then pulls out a table! Whistles and cat calls for AJ as she pulls the table out and sets it up. She puts the tables exactly where she wants it, then climbs the stairs slowly and methodically. AJ to the apron, looks at Bryan and Punk, then she slowly starts climbing the corner. To the second rope, staring down at the table. Bryan over, between her and the table and tells her not to jump. Punk up on the corner, right in her face, yelling at her not to jump. AJ grabs Punk by the back of the head, pulls him in for quite the kiss, then pushes Punk back. Punk crashes into Bryan and they both fall back through the table. AJ gets that little slight smirk and starts with the hands and the “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” The fans join right in with her.
No Contest (18:44)