Explaining RAW Roulette tonight, then onto the Royal Rumble. Cena won the Royal Rumble Match. Punk faced The Rock, and controversy rocked the WWE Title Match. Punk’s victory was short lived when VKM came out to strip Punk of the Title, but The Rock stopped VKM and said he’d take the Title from Punk. The match was restarted and The Rock won.
EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! Vickie says that tonight is RAW Roulette. There’s three wheels – the wheel of Superstars, the wheel of stips, and third is Vickie Vegas Challenge. Tonight Cesaro will face Orton, the stip will be – she spins – Special Guest Ref!
In Ring Segment
Punk’s music and he comes stomping out, yelling at the cameraman to get out of his way, ripping up posters and stomping around yelling. Into the ring he yells this day 435 of the longest Title reign of the modern era. He beat The Rock, continued his streak and is now The People’s Champion. He didn’t lose! He won! They want to put a cheater on a pedestal? Someone who can’t pin Punk without help. You’re all cheap swindlers like VKM. Just like The Rock! He didn’t need help, or for someone to restart a match – illegally, I might add. This is worse than Bret Hart. It will forever be known as the Phoenix Screw Job. I got screwed! I got screwed!
The fans go wild against Punk and for The Rock.
He asks the fans if they want to party? Celebrate The Rock? There’s no restarts or water breaks in his world. He’s the Champ, The People’s Champion, and he’s there to crash the party!
VKM’s music hits and he steps out on the stage and Punk goes wild.
You’re a no good, cheap flesh peddling hack promoter!
VKM says he crashed Punk’s party and will again tonight. He has proof that Punk was in a scheme with Heyman and The Shield.
Heyman with a mic, but VKM cuts him off and says he’s had enough of Heyman’s crap. Later there will be a Personal Performance Review, including the video footage VKM has, and it could end in Heyman’s termination.
VKM leaves, Punk is stomping around the ring yelling and seething. Heyman looks a bit green around the gills.
Cole announces himself, JBL and King and talks about The Shield. JBL goes on and on saying that he’s a stool pigeon about The Shield being ringside last night.
Orton vs Cesaro w/ Special Guest Ref – Miz
Orton slowly to the ring. Orton poses in a corner. Cesaro out to face him. Miz out in zebra stripes.
Orton pins Cesaro for two. Orton sets Cesaro up and hits a suplex for two. Orton is blocked, then eats a corner. Cesaro beats Orton down with blows in a corner, but Miz cuts him off. Orton out, but whipped. Orton out with a big clothesline, then plants Cesaro for two. Back slam on Cesaro for two. Cesaro rolls out, Miz out after him. Cesaro with kicks and upper cuts outside. Miz starts to count. Orton blocks Cesaro, then lands Cesaro back first on the barrier. Cesaro sells the pain, then is sent partially in the ring. Orton with upper cuts on Cesaro who is hanging off the apron. Orton in and stomps Cesaro. Orton slingshots Cesaro up into the bottom rope for two.
Again Cesaro blocks Orton in a corner and comes back with blows. They exchange upper cuts. Cesaro gets the upper hand, but then Orton stops himself in the ropes and elevates Cesaro up and out. Orton out with a big clothesline outside.
Side headlock on Orton, but Cesaro back slams free of the hold. Both are down on the mat. JBL is shocked that Miz is being unbiased. Cesaro and Orton fight on the apron over a corner. Orton gets hung up top. Cesaro out to send Orton back in for two. Reverse chinlock on Orton on the mat. Orton really sells the hold. “Let’s go Randy!” chants. Orton up and blows on Cesaro, but then Orton runs into a big slam for two. Double foot drop on Orton, then Cesaro picks Orton up into a gut wrench slam for two. Cesaro slaps the back of Orton’s head a couple times, mocking him.
Another chinlock on Orton on the mat. Orton up and free through blows. Orton blocks a slam and hits a couple clotheslines, then his power slam. Cesaro is whipped, but gets a knee up. Beautiful flying upper cut off the corner on Orton for two. Cesaro in Miz’s face arguing about the count. Back breaker on Cesaro who rolls to the apron. Orton sets up, but an eye poke from Cesaro stops the move. Cesaro with blows to Orton in a corner. Miz pulls him back, they are arguing a lot. Miz backs off as Orton approaches Cesaro from behind. RKO and it’s over as JBL screams about the bias!
Winner – Orton (12:45)
Video recap of the high points. Miz pulls Cesaro to his feet, helping him, then hits his SCF on Cesaro. Miz mocks Cesaro’s little arm moves before standing and straightening his shirt.
The wheel spins to ‘make me laugh’ then the camera slides to Ryback. Vickie tells him to make her laugh. He snorts and leaves her office.
In Ring Segment
“Feed me more!” and out comes Ryback.
Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi are ringside.
In Ring Segment
The Prime Time Players are in the ring with Ryback. They will tell jokes and the one to make you laugh the most wins.
Prime Time Players are first. O’Neil says they have a joke on Striker. What did the woman say to Striker when he asked for a date? Young says, ain’t nobody have time for that! They then sway together and get heat for it. Y’all wouldn’t know entertainment if it slapped you in the face.
Ryback – I have a joke. What has 4 eyes, 20 fingers and about to be unconscious. Ryback attacks, they fight back, but then a spinebuster to O’Neil. “Feed me more!” from the fans and a big clothesline to O’Neil. O’Neil up, Ryback stomps and Young continues to hide – so he really could have been hurt last night.
Striker says it’s no laughing matter, but it made him laugh. The winner of the Make Me Laugh Challenge. Ryback turns and glares at Striker. A kick to his gut and Ryback has Striker up. He marches and shellshocks Striker to the wonderful amusement of JBL, King and Cole!
HOF video for Bob Backlund.
Vickie spins and comes up with Player’s Choice. Barrett gets to pick his opinion.
Barrett vs Bo Dallas
Barrett in the ring says he wants to face Bo Dallas, his greatest night was last night throwing Barrett from the ring, but his career will end tonight with the Barrett Barrage. Dallas out. Video of Dallas eliminating Barrett last night in the Royal Rumble Match.
Barrett on Dallas, but Dallas ducks and blows on Barrett in a corner. Arm drags and a lovely drop kick on Barrett who is left with a shocked look on his face. A back kick to Dallas’ gut, then he’s sent into the corner hard. Barrett stomps Dallas down. Cole talks about how Barrett is so disgusted with these NXT upstarts that need to learn respect. Barrett keeps stomping Dallas on the mat. Barrett pulls down his elbow pad and winds up. Barrett rushes Dallas, but the boy grabs him in a modified belly-to-belly, slamming Barrett to the mat and rolling him up for three.
Winner – Bo Dallas (2:11)
Cody spins the wheel, and he’ll be facing Cena.
Rhodes vs Cena
Rhodes is pacing the ring. King and Cole talk about how RAW started with Punk in the ring. Then VKM came out and addressed Heyman about the video he has with Heyman and The Shield. They show the Fruity Pebbles cereal box with Cena on it. They go through their stats, comparing them. Cena’s music and he comes out to the ring all bouncy. Cole says Cena has to decide which belt to go after at WrestleMania.
They circle, then lock up. Side headlock on Cena who pushes out. Cena over and under Rhodes, but then a drop kick to Rhodes’ jaw. They both stop and regroup as the fans go wild. They circle and Rhodes kicks Cena, but Rhodes is whipped and comes out into a fisherman’s suplex. Rhodes rolls out, grabs a mic, says this is a waste of Cody Rhodes, I’m leaving.
Cena stops Rhodes, send him into the ring and hits clotheslines, then slams Rhodes down for a 5 knuckle shuffle. An AA and Cena gets three.
Winner – Cena (1:57)
Recap of the AA and three. Cena with a mic looks around at the fans, getting some pop, but a lot of heat. He says that by the sound of it, some of them didn’t pick him for the Royal Rumble. Any of the 29 could come down and tell how he should have win the Royal Rumble. But this man can stand in the ring and say that he won the Royal Rumble. No doubt that throwing Ryback was an unpredicable and enormous step, but it’s the first step. Then the winner issues a challenge to the Champ of their choosing for WrestleMania. For him, this is his most difficult step. “Cena sucks!” chants fill the arena. Cena says the choice for him, Title aside, the Champ will be Punk or The Rock. Punk, a man who for the last 2 years has been impossible for Cena to beat. Say what you will about Punk, a Champ finds a way to win, and the past 6 times, he’s done that. Either he’s won, or Cena hasn’t gotten the job done.
Then, of course, there’s The Rock. A man who he very openly spoke about before he returned. He did that so The Rock would challenge Cena. The Rock made that challenge, and Cena opened himself up for the next year, telling us all how much it meant for him to beat The Rock. For one year he jousted with The Rock and not only proved to be in The Rock’s league, but there was moments The Rock couldn’t carry his jock strap. Everything seemed perfect, until April 1st, WrestleMania XXVIII and it was all destroyed. Everyone remembers who won and lost. The Rock won, Cena lost. “Rocky!” chants fill the arena. With the legions of The Rock’s fans chanting his name, where better than Las Vegas, a city built off of making odds. Does he go with the WHC, which he has better odds, or after one of the WWE Champs who he has no chance of beating. He’s choosing here and now. I, John Cena, challenge at WrestleMania XXIX – he stops and looks at the WrestleMania sign and listens to the “Rocky!” chants – I challenge the WWE Champion. Both The Rock and Punk are marked men. They are all on the Road To WrestleMania…
The Shield’s noises hit. They come through the stands as JBL yells at Cena to get out of there or he won’t make it to WrestleMania. The Shield into the ring and they’re all over him. Ambrose pulls Cena back as he’s still throwing blows at the other two.
Sheamus’ music and he rushes in, but they’re all three on Sheamus now, beating him down in a corner. They stomp Sheamus down in a corner.
“Feed me more!” and he throws Ambrose, then Rollins from the ring. Reigns stayed in and pushed Ryback over. Ryback pulled from the ring and slammed into the stairs. Sheamus out, but they send him into the post. Back in to go after Cena, and Cena tries to fight back, but he has no chance with the numbers. Reigns yells as the other two raise Cena up. Triple bomb on Cena. The Shield leaves the ring, bodies all around, carnage!
Recap of The Shield attacking Cena in the ring. Then Sheamus and Ryback got into the fray, but it was a numbers game and The Shield was unstoppable. King and Cole talking about The Shield being unstoppable.
The wheel is spinning and stops on Lingerie Pillow Fight. It’s Tensai and Clay standing there. Tensai says no, no, I’m a monster. Vickie says to Clay that with VKM doing reviews, she’s not putting them in lingerie. She has Clay spin her wheel, and it’s a Dance Off. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell Tensai about the change,” says Clay with an evil smirk.
Royal Rumble Fan Fest. All the Superstars there for the events, including Sheamus who fulfilled a wish for Eli. Layla was also there with him. There was also a B.A.Star visit to a local school.
Dance Off – Funkasaurus & Tensai
JBL calls Clay ‘dancing free willie’. Funkasaurus to the ring with the Dactyls.
King is in the ring announcing the next contest, but Tensai grabs the mic and says to get this over with. He starts undoing the belt of his robe. He finally drops the robe to show a pink satin and black lace babydoll top. He also has a black lacy thong over his ring gear – he keeps pulling it out of his bum through the whole segment. King says it’s not a Lingerie Pillow Fight.
Oops, my bad!
King says each gets 15 seconds to dance, then the fans will choose the winner. Funkasaurus dances with the Dactyls, as he always does.
Tensai is pacing, but doesn’t want to dance. He says no. King tells him to dance. Then King tells him this is Vegas. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!
King promises. Clay tells Tensai not to be so serious.
Tensai with a robot, then Gangam Style, the lawn mower, then gets really silly.
Backstage, watching a monitor, Tensai earns a “DAMN!” from Simmons.
Tensai leaves the ring with his robe over his head, thong up his bum, but no winner named.
ADR is there, the wheel is spun and lands on Body Slam Challenge. Vickie says ADR body slamming Big Show will be the greatest act she’s ever seen. ADR says they’re in Vegas, and in Vegas, anything can happen.
Body Slam Challenge – ADR w/ RVD vs Big Show
Ricardo out, bucket in hand, to announce ADR to the ring. ADR comes out and they head to the ring together. ADR gives his scarf to a little boy along the ramp. Cole is talking about how Ricardo and ADR duct taped Big Show’s feet so he couldn’t get to his feet last night. They talked about how ingenious it was, but not that Cena did it to Batista previously. Big Show to the ring.
Big Show swats Ricardo away and attacks ADR. ADR tries to fight back, but he eats a KO punch. Big Show pulls out the duct tape. Ricardo is up, but again swatted away. Big Show duct tapes ADR’s wrist to a middle rope, using tons of tape. Ricardo back at Big Show, so Big Show tosses him around a bit, pulls off his jacket, then rips up his shirt. A big slap to Ricardo’s chest. Big Show takes Ricardo shirt off. ADR comes to and tries to get free, but can’t to Big Show who slaps Ricardo again. They leave the ring and Ricardo into the barrier while JBL cheers him on.
“Big Show sucks!” chants. ADR is yelling that it’s between them and leave Ricardo alone. Big Show body slams Ricardo to the mat as ADR goes crazy trying to get free. Big Show over and stomps ADR. More duct tape around ADR’s hand, so he can’t get free. Ricardo pulled up and slapped to the chest. Again Big Show pulls Ricardo, Big Show yells about them making a fool out of him last night. Big Show says he will let Ricardo go, then a KO punch drops Ricardo. ADR goes crazy. Big Show takes ADR’s legs out from under him, then continues to kick the heck out of ADR. Another KO punch to ADR and he’s ‘out’. The fans are really HOT at Big Show who glares around at them. Big Show looks at the carnage in the ring, then leaves.
Recap of Big Show’s attack on ADR and Ricardo in the ring. After it was over ADR had to be helped to the back.
Las Vegas Showgirls Lumberjills Match – Tamina vs Kaitlyn
The Divas are dressed and ready, the Divas in the ring to fight.
Tamina backed into a corner, but comes out kicking. Kaitlyn slammed down, then stomped in a corner. Kaitlyn flung by her hair. Chinlock on Kaitlyn on the mat. Kaitlyn fights up, but it slammed back. Kaitlyn rolls out, the feathered Divas attack. Kaitlyn attacks Aksana outside, rips her head dress off, then on the apron. Kaitlyn hits Tamina in the head with the head dress, then goes on attack. The head dress is put on Tamina, then Kaitlyn takes her down. All the Divas rush the ring and it’s brawling all over – except Kaitlyn and Tamina who just stand back and watch. The Divas and ref fall all over themselves in the ring. It’s a mess. Kaitlyn is holding her belt, Tamina is staring across the ring at her.
Winner – N/A (2:36)
Recap of The Shield’s attack on Cena, Sheamus and Ryback – again.
In Ring Segment
Justin announces our new WWE Champion, The Rock! Rocky comes out to the stage, belt in hand. He looks at the fans, bounces a bit, then heads for the ring. The Rock poses on a corner, belt held high. To the opposite corner and belt held high, as he flops that spinner belt all around. The Rock soaks up all the love from the fans. The Rock looks up at the WrestleMania sign, listening to the chants.
The Rock wipes tears from his eyes, and is obviously choked up as he calls for the mic. He’s about to speak, but stops and smiles, the fans go wild again. He says there’s only one word that describes the spirit of tonight. One word that symbolizes our entire journey. That word is FINALLY. Finally, The Rock has come back to Las Vegas! Finally, The Rock is WWE Champion! “Rocky!” chants fill the arena.
There’s no accolade on this earth that’s more deeply ingrained in my blood than this WWE Championship. From 1998 – 2003 he had the honor of winning 7 WWE Championships. After ten years, winning it again, this is the proudest moment of his career. He’s thanked his friends (chokes up), already thanked his family (chokes more), but would like to take a moment to thank all of you. The Rock has to stop talking and though he’s smiling, it’s obvious that he’s feeling this in a huge way.
He stops and listens to the fans again, more chants. For 434 days, Punk has come out here and ran his mouth and said they didn’t count, didn’t matter, each of you were nothing. He’s there to tell them that those crap days are over! No longer is Punk going to come out looking like a tattooed homeless freak, followed by his bald manager, Paul Heyman. He’s not coming out thinking of Punk, but if he has a bra big enough to hold his deep fried Twinkie tits.
More of The Rock listening to the chants. Tonight we usher in a new era. The People’s Era. They’re going to celebrate. Bouncing baby Buddha under a moonlit sky, we’re partying in Las Vegas, and we’re all getting PIE! The fans go wild for this, but then Punk’s music hits. King yells – buzzkill!
Punk comes out and yells for the music to stop. Punk yells at the fans to shut up, nobody asked them for their irrelevant opinion, and he doesn’t want to hear it right now. Punk says The Rock is embarrassing himself and Punk. For 434 he made that Title special, now The Rock is going to flush it down the toilet. The Rock didn’t win that, it was spoon-fed to him, just like everything in his crappy life!
“You suck!” chants. Punk says yeah, I suck, vilify me now because in 20 years you’ll be calling me a genius, you’re just too stupid to realize it now. The fans are hot! Punk says if The Rock was a man, he’d realize that the Title is prestigious because Punk made it prestigious. For 434 days! If The Rock was a man, that 3rd generation blood, if he had any respect for himself, his father, his grandfather, he’d walk up that ramp and say Sir, Mr. Punk, here’s your Title back. I stole this from you. I didn’t earn this. He’d give it back and say congratulations on being best in the world. Then apologizing for tarnishing what Punk made so great.
The Rock just stares, then brings the mic up. If you had an ounce of manhood and nuts between his legs, you would walk down that ramp and come and take it. The Rock holds the belt out. So you got two choices. You can come in this ring and face me like a man, or you can stay up there like a punk ass bitch!
Punk doesn’t look happy, but starts walking to the ring, but stops on the bottom of the ramp, before the padding starts. “Cookie Puss!” chants. Punk says he’s going to stand on the stage like a punk ass bitch, because it’s cool to swear ladies and gentlemen. I’m going to go ahead and stand up here like a punk ass bitch because Punk doesn’t do things on your terms. I do things when I want to. I’m thinking I might grant you a rematch, how about, I’ll be in Chattanooga on Friday, or Montgomery on Saturday, I’ll be in Birmingham on Sunday. Right back here in one week in Atlanta, but if those don’t fit The Rock’s schedule, he’ll grant him a Title shot, a rematch in three weeks. It’s not Punk’s rematch, he’s granting it. Show up if you dare! Cole says that the Elimination Chamber PPV.
The Rock says that before he leaves, he wants a rematch at Elimination Chamber, he’s got it, all he’ll take in three weeks the ass kicking of a lifetime, you punk ass bitch. If you smelllll… What The Rock is Cookin’! The Rock stares up at Punk on the stage, seething.
Tables Match – Sheamus vs Sandow
Sandow is in the ring and mad. Video of Sandow spinning the wheel and getting the Tables Match against Sheamus. Vickie was all smiles, he said how observant she was. Sheamus out with his big necklace on, but he’s moving slowly from his earlier attack from The Shield.
They circle and muscle a bit, but then Sandow rolls out. Sheamus follows. Sandow rolls in and tries to kick at Sheamus as he comes in, but is worked over by Sheamus. Sandow again flees the ring, but Sheamus out with a forearm to the back of Sandow’s head. Sheamus lands Sandow on the stairs and pulls out a table. Sheamus sets up the table ringside, then lifts Sandow, but he gets free. Sandow into the ring, but out the other side. Beautiful drop kick on Sheamus in front of announce!
Sandow grabs a table, but Sheamus grabs it and slams Sandow with the table. Sheamus sends the table into the ring, then grabs Sandow. Sandow rolled in, Sheamus in after him, but Sandow slams Sheamus’ shoulder onto the table on the mat, then stomps it. A knee drop to Sheamus’ shoulder. Sandow out to grab another table and sends it into the ring. He sets it up and Sheamus basically runs into it shoulder first. Sheamus’ arm in the legs of one end of the table, then beats it down on Sheamus’ arm. A sickening crack could be heard, most likely the table breaking on Sheamus.
Sheamus blocks going through a table leaning on the corner. Sheamus rushes Sandow on the apron and his brogue kick hangs Sheamus up top. Sheamus, somehow comes over the top with a battering ram at Sandow.
Sheamus has a handful of beard, then beats Sandow down in a corner, then a sick clothesline! Sandow reverses into a side Russian leg sweep into his elbow of disdain. Sheamus slammed ribs first onto the side edge of a table! Sandow sets up the table, lays Sheamus on it, then blows to the head. Sandow out and climbs – slowly. Sheamus up, Sandow on the apron and takes the ten forearms.
Sheamus tries but can’t suplex Sandow over the top and in through the table. Sandow rushes Sheamus who picks Sandow up for white noise, but sort of slams Sandow back through the table leaning in the corner!
Winner – Sheamus (7:22)
Recap of the table break. Sheamus celebrates in the ring.
King is in the ring with Ryder, Khali, Natalya and Hornswoggle. They will each get to sing a theme song. Khali gets to go first with HBK’s ring entrance. Khali makes a total hash of it, of course. Cole asks where his gong is. JBL wants to know what HBK ever did to Khali.
3MB comes out laughing. Slater has a question, are they kidding him? Drew in rasping sweet child of mine. Mahal says they’re 3MB and they are music. They’re an embarrassment.
Ryder says they might be rock and roll, but he’s all about pop music, even wrote his own song. Khali is into straight up head banging!
Slater says they’re the rock stars of the WWE. Drew, show them! Drew with air guitar and gets chopped by Khali. Slater and Mahal attack, but Ryder and Khali takes them down. Ryder sets up Slater and Hornswoggle hits a tadpole splash. The four celebrate in the ring together.
Jericho is heading to the ring, big smile on his face.
In Ring Segment
The lights are out, Jericho’s jacket is all blinkie. He comes out to huge pop with a smirk and swagger. He has Y2J 2013 on the front of his purple trunks. He doesn’t slap hands on his way out. The fans are loving him and chanting “Y2J!” Welcome to RAW Is Jericho! It’s great to be back in the WWE right here, right now! He was only one for 6 months, but it felt like 6 years. Last night when he was surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble, fooled all of you. It was the best night of his life. The way they all make him feel, he will neeeeeeeevvvvverrrrrr, eeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvverrrrrrrrrrrrr forget, a-gain!
Ziggler’s music and out comes Ziggler, AJ and Big E. Ziggler says he’s glad Jericho had a great time, before Ziggler eliminated him. And in other news, what is Jericho doing here? He doesn’t work here anymore! Ziggler beat him and ended his career. AJ says she made the match. Sorry Ziggy. “Y2J!” chants fill the arena. AJ says, I’m the one that personally got Y2J terminated from the WWE.
Jericho says, Ziggy, please put a leash on his crazy little doggy before she pee-pees all over the ring. AJ does not look impressed by that. Big E tells Jericho to leave before he ruins Jericho’s return.
Big E! Big E! He only has an E for his name! What does the E stand for, your bra size? Because those are some giant pecs my man! I could put a drink in those things!
Ziggler says that’s enough! Enough jokes, he doesn’t work there, why doesn’t he just leave? He doesn’t work there anymore.
EXCUSE ME! Vickie on the tron says she signed Jericho’s contract. She doesn’t let her emotions get in the way. Vickie says they’re in a match. She spins and gets Strange Bedfellows. So Jericho and Ziggler are teaming against the strangest bedfellows in the WWE, Team Hell No!
Team Hell No vs Jericho & Ziggler
Fire erupts and they come to the ring together. Into the ring and Kane calls fire from all four.
Ziggler ducks Kane and on him with blows. Ziggler into the ropes, then flicks his sweat at Jericho. Jericho and Ziggler talk smack as Kane stands there watching.
Side headlock on Bryan, Ziggler reaches for Jericho, but won’t tag out. Bryan slammed down, Ziggler drops an elbow for two. Ziggler again reaches for Jericho, but then flicks sweat. Jericho with a very hard tag on Ziggler. Jericho in with a cheap drop kick on Kane, then on Bryan. About to lock on the walls, but Bryan free and Jericho down. Kane tags in, then Jericho throws Bryan into Kane. They argue, then Bryan pushes Kane. Kane pushes Bryan down.
Ziggler tags himself in. Jericho hits Kane front behind, then flees the ring. Kane thinks it’s Ziggler who hit him. Ziggler each a chokeslam for three.
Winners – Team Hell No (5:46)
Trish Stratus is the next inductee into the WWE HOF! A wonderful video for such a deserving Diva. Diva of The Decade will be inducted into the WWE HOF!
In Ring Segment
VKM is in the ring in khakis, a purple plaid blazer, pink shirt and gray tie. He says that everyone knows he loves to have fun. We all love to have fun. The best place to have fun is in Las Vegas. Let’s have some fun together, Paul Heyman, come on down. If you’re scrabbling around looking for Punk, you won’t. He was escorted from the building about 10 minutes ago. Heyman comes out without music. VKM calls for a warm Las Vegas welcome for Paul Heyman. “ECW!” chants in the front row.
Heyman in and offers VKM his hand. VKM asks if he should shake his hand? The fans say no, but he does. VKM hands over his mic and pulls out hand sanitizer! Heyman laughs it off.
VKM asks if Heyman has, or has had The Shield or Maddox under his employ.
Heyman thanks VKM and says the answer is no, he had never had anything to do with Maddox or The Shield.
VKM asks Heyman if he’s ever lied in his life?
Heyman says long time ago, he heard VKM’s father say in the MSG locker room, “Adversity defines a man’s character in his darkest hour.” Heyman says faced with the adversity that he knows where this is going, he’s lied every day of his stinking life because he’s a promoter. They lie to survive tonight to live to tomorrow. Whatever he’s had to do, he’s lied through his teeth, to god and the souls of his parents, he’s lied,lied, lied, but he swears to VKM that he’s not lying now!
VKM says Heyman is an honorable man?
Heyman says he doesn’t know, but he’s trying to become an honorable man, but he can learn from VKM. He’s not a saint, but he wants to be there. If he has to be an honorable man to stay in the WWE, then he will be an honorable man.
VKM says that they need to take a look at Heyman’s honorable face. VKM has the camera right in on Heyman’s face. VKM asks if this is an honorable face? “NO!” Is this an honorable man? “NO!” VKM says he wants to show some footage, then get Heyman’s comments. This was shot a couple weeks ago in northern California.
Heyman with Maddox in a dark tunnel. Heyman demands the camera go off. Heyman says to Maddox that his show is canceled. The camera comes back on as Heyman says Maddox was set up as the ref at HIAC, but he keeps coming back for more, more and more. When they pay The Shield to do something, they do it, but that’s it. They go to The Shield again, and ask them to do something, they do it, and do it better than Maddox has, so they pay them. The Shield walks up behind Maddox, surround him. Maddox begs Heyman, says he’ll leave. Heyman tells him to take the beating like a man, he wanted the experience. Heyman tells him to chalk it up to being a learning experience. The Shield attacks and beats Maddox down.
Back to the ring and Heyman looks like he’s about to barf. “You are busted!” chants at Heyman!
VKM asks, well? It’s a personal performance review.
The fans start singing Heyman out!
Heyman claims it wasn’t him! Heyman turns to the fans and yells, “Excuse me for a moment, my career is on the line!” Heyman says VKM says he knows what it’s like to be falsely accused. That wasn’t me! I have a thick New York Jewish accent, easy to imitate. They’re in Vegas, town of impersonators. Someone’s doing it out of anger and jealousy because of his success with ECW and his success with Punk. Because he let Punk defend…
VKM asks if Heyman is trying to convince himself, or everyone there. Was that Maddox in the video? Was that The Shield? But it wasn’t Heyman?
“No, that was not Paul Heyman!”
VKM smirks. Is Paul Heyman lying? Does Paul Heyman deserve to be fired?
Heyman, off mic, begs VKM not to do this. Please don’t do this to me! All the while the fans are chanting “YES!” “YES!” “YES!”
Mr. Heyman, it would seem I have to wish you well in your future endeavors. In other words, Mr. Heyman, you’re…
Brock Lesnar’s music hits and out he comes. Brock circles the ring, then up on the apron. VKM looks nervous as Brock gets in the ring. Heyman says something to Brock off mic. Brock pushes Heyman to the ropes. Heyman keeps talking. Brock points to the corner and Heyman goes.
Brock steps up to VKM, almost touching. Brock leans his face in and touches noses with VKM. VKM shakes him off, showing his angry face. Brock almost smiles, VKM glares.
VKM says, “If I were you, I wouldn’t do something you’d regret later on.” Brock smiles at this. VKM tells him to think about it. Heyman yells that he has this under control. Brock points to the corner, and Heyman backs off. Brock nods, looks like it’s leaving, then turns and scoops VKM up. Heyman freaks out, yells for Brock to not do it. F5 on VKM, and it was beautifully executed and bumped! Heyman is wailing over what Brock did, calling to God for help and freaking out as the fans chant “ECW!” and RAW fades to black.