RAW Results 3/18/13 – Now Can You Dig That, Suckah?

Pre-RAW Commercial

Last week Punk stole the urn, this week Taker has Punk in his sights. Will Triple H sign a contract without knowing the stips?

Show Starts

Video

After being issued a brazen challenge, Brock came back with an answer – only if we can name the stips after Trip signs the contract. Trip responds tonight on RAW. And, Punk’s distasteful interruption soon turned into an encounter with a monster. But the straight edge assassin had something else in mind. With Punk in possession of the urn, dark forces of the Phenom come to light.

In Ring Segment

Cena to the ring. His music ends and there’s serious heat. I sense there might be some The Rock fans tonight. They’re riding both sides, and you ha 20 days to pick a side. “Cena!” and Cena sucks!” chants. Since I stand in the middle of a sold out house divided, I have a message tonight for all The Rock fans. It’s the same message I gave The Rock a few weeks ago.

Cena over and points to a sign that says, “Our time is now!”

Cena says, your time is up, my time is now! I know it’s a bitter pill to swallow, but all we have is right now! Starting with the Royal Rumble 2013 it’s been a tidal wave of momentum for me. For those through the rough times, who haven’t given up, I’m not going to Broadway Joe myself and predict a victory, I’m focused and ready for WrestleMania.

Prime Time Players’ music and out they come, but O’Neil is in coveralls and a fro wig. O’Neil says Cena’s not the only one ready for WrestleMania. The Prime Time Players are also ready for WrestleMania.

Hey look, it’s Darren Young and Titus O’Neil in an afro and coveralls.

O’Neil cuts Cena off and says Titus O’Neil is his nephew. My name is Rufus ‘Pancake’ Patterson! They calls me Pancake because I’s flattens fools, it’s whats I dos!

Pancake, or Tycake, or All American Breakfast, or Moons Over My Hammy, or whatever, you’re actually in luck, we are in the Steel City tonight (pop), known for their NFL Steelers (pop), their AHL Penguins (pop), but even a lot of you guys might not know, there’s some great doctors who deal with multiple personalities all the time, I know some guys who will give you the meds you need, no problem, two seconds flat.

Hold on John, the only meds the ‘Universe’ need is the Prime Time Players! (heat)

Young says the Prime Time Players put the E in WWE Entertainment!

Pancake cuts Cena off with ‘millions of dollars’, but then Pancake has a pain in his side and they stop.

Cena says they got something here, making him smile, they might not like you, but they don’t know you. Your timing is off. Maybe we’ll see you at WrestleMania and get it right.

Pancake says that’s the problem, they don’t want to see Cena at WrestleMania! (a lot of the fans agree with this) No, what they want to see is Prime Time Players! (some pop) Think about it, t-shirt, wash rags, and all you say Young looks like Cena. (Young throws his pic into the ring at Cena) You on the cover of Fruity Pebbles, so his nephew should be on the front of Cocoa Pebbles. Prime Time Pebbles. I would have no problem tearing you from limb to limb, but my gout has flared up something awful, I’m waiting for my SSI check and Bingo is Friday night, but Darren could tear him from limb to limb.

Cena, after I’m done with you tonight you will be crying and weeping, just like last year’s WrestleMania.

That’s what this is about? You’re ready for WrestleMania? You step in this ring and I’ll show you what it means to be ready for the main even of WrestleMania.

Cena on Young with blows, then Young into the corner. Running bulldog after a whip. Cena goes for the STF, but Pancake pulls Young from the ring.

>Commercial

Cena stalks Young. Shoulder blocks to Young, then slams him to the mat. 5 knuckle shuffle as Pancake tweaks outside. Young up and takes the AA for three.

Winner – Cena (4:20)

Cena points to the WrestleMania sign, then poses on a corner. Pictures of Cena and The Rock on the screen and Cena says to announce that he’s ready for WrestleMania.

Announce Segment

Cole talks about Taker’s streak on the line, but Punk made it very personal when Punk interrupted Bearer’s tribute and stole the urn. Who’s the King of the jungle between Ryback and Henry? They collided on Smackdown. Video of that match and The Shield getting into the match. Henry left Ryback to try to fight The Shield, but then Henry returned to distract and The Shield got to Ryback and bombed him. Henry then into the ring and hit his WSS on Ryback, a number of times. “This is what you got in store for you… You will not run through me!”

Backstage Segment

Ryback heading to the ring, possibly to feed on Otunga.

>Commercial

Otunga vs Ryback

Otunga in the ring posing. Cole talks about Otunga being in The Call with Halle. Ryback’s music and out he comes.

Ryback tackles Otunga into a corner, then beats him down. Otunga pulled back up and chopped. Otunga gets a foot up, then kicks Ryback in the side of the head. Ryback comes back and pushes Otunga down. Ryback flips Otunga up onto his shoulder like he’s nothing and slams him to the mat. Ryback slams Otunga down again. Ryback to a corner and the “Feed me more!” chants start. Meathook clothesline to Otunga. Ryback pulls him up, onto his shoulders, marches. Shell shocked for three.

Winner – Ryback (1:37)

Video recap of the high points of the match. Ryback on mic talking about him, Orton and Sheamus tearing The Shield apart. And for Henry, they will cross paths again, and it will be feeding time. Together we scream, “Feed me more!”

Henry’s music hits and out comes The World’s Strongest Man. Vickie and Long out and stop Henry. Long tells Henry to not even think about taking another step toward that ring. Vickie says she’s taking Ryback out of WrestleMania. Out of the 6 Man Tag Match. Ryback, you want to be at WrestleMania, then you will go one on one with Henry.

Ryback beats his chest as Henry points to the WrestleMania sign. “Feed me more!” chants from the fans. Otunga picks this time to stagger to his feet, so he scooped up, Ryback marches, shell shocked. With a foot on Otunga’s chest, “Feed me more!”

Announce Segment

Cole wants the fans to Tout their stips to #triplehvsbrock

Video

Fandango. He’s supposed to premier next on RAW.

>Commercial

Fandango vs Khali

Fandango and his female dancer come out through hanging glitter curtain on the stage. They dance on a dance floor laid out for them. Justin badly announces Fandango to the ring. Fandango comes out with his dancer, puts her on the apron. Above the ring is a Fandango shaped thing with small flames on it. Khali and Natalya are out in red. Video of Fandango trying to get Khali to pronounce his name on Smackdown and sounding like he sad bad words. Khali and Natalya dance in the ring and Fandango stops them. He tells Khali that it’s quite obvious that he’s far too stupid to pronounce his name correctly, so why not let the beautiful, sensual Canadian slice of heaven Natalya give it a try. Don’t be afraid of all this masculinity, give it a try milady. Natalya with a mic says Fahn-DANG-Get him Khali, now! Fandango flees the ring. He takes the hand of his lady dancer and they leave. On the ramp Fandango looks back and says tonight was the night when you almost got to see the debut of… (“You can’t wrestle!” chants) Fandango!

>Commercial

R-Truth vs Sandow

R-Truth out to the ring in his new white ring gear with his new logo in gold. Sandow out with a mic in hand. On stage he says to silence the music, I am about to speak! Henry David Thoreau once said, “Rather than love, or money or fame, give me truth.” He is rolling in his grave right now with that man in the ring calling himself R-Truth. Judging by his appearance and actions, the R obviously stands for repugnant! You’re welcome! Into the ring and R-Truth says, Thoreau was quite a poet, right? I’ve got a little poetry of my own.
Your beard is weird,
And you talk a lot.
I’ve got four words for you,
You gonna get got!
You’re welcome!

They circle, blows on R-Truth. Knee to R-Truth gut, then another. Snap mare, then knee drop on R-Truth for two. Chinlock on R-Truth on the mat. To his feet and punches free. Sandow telegraphs and eats a sunset flip for two. Sandow fights back taking R-Truth down, then yells, You’re welcome! Snap suplex on R-Truth for two.

Chinlock on the mat. R-Truth up and blows on Sandow, but then eats a knee to the gut, then a bunch to the face. Side Russian leg sweep, then elbow of disdain for two. Sandow into a high elbow, then a couple clotheslines. Punches and dancing from R-Truth. Head scissors on Sandow, then a kick to Sandow. Leg scissors on Sandow who rolls out. The ref stops R-Truth from leaving as Sandow leaves the ringside area. The ref starts counting. Sandow has left the area, the ref counts him out.

Winner – R-Truth (3:37)

Backstage Segment

Cody with the Bellas all over him. Kaitlyn comes in and says she has a thing later, so they can’t hang out. Kaitlyn tells the Bellas they can his that mustache thing, and Cody can have theirs!

>Commercial

Slam of the Week

GONG! Scares Punk and Kane got the win last week on RAW, then Taker out and both he and Kane pose, but then Punk attacked Kane with the urn, then flees when Taker comes to protect his brother.

GONG!

Taker out in the same sleeveless robe he wore last week. Taker out to the ring, up on the stairs, raises the lights, then steps into the ring. The lights are still low when Taker says Punk, you sealed your own fate when you made this personal. There’s no escaping what I’m going to do at WrestleMania. I’m going to hurt you and hurt you bad. You have one chance to save your own soul. I want that urn back.

In a bad Bearer voice, we hear, ‘Oh yessss, Undertaker, oh yessss.’ This comes over and over. On the tron we can see Punk is using the top of the urn, opening and closing it like a puppet to talk for Bearer inside. Punk says no disrespect intended I could never hit the high notes. Paul wants you to know that his death wasn’t just a personal loss, but a professional one as well. Punk then asks the urn, what? He listens, then says, ever the consummate manager. Paul wants Taker to know that if he’s counted out, or gets a DQ, it’s still a loss. Without a shadow of a doubt, Taker, you are the best at WrestleMania. We all know what 20-0 means. Might say at WrestleMania Taker’s best in the world. But Punk’s best in the world 365 days of the year. Punk tosses the urn from hand to hand. Punk goes on to say that Taker answers to a higher calling, has powers. Punk doesn’t have powers, he is a higher calling. It’s not his destiny, but he’s the one man willing to endure the pain Taker sees fit to inflict on him. He’s willing to walk through hell. He’s the one in 20-1. Punk continues to juggle the urn, then drops it. Punk says the top almost came off, no disrespect intended. The camera goes to Taker, but you can still hear the urn being tossed from hand to hand.

>Commercial

Video

Recap of Punk taunting Taker with the urn, and dropping it. The top almost came off, again, no disrespect intended.

Primo & Epico vs Team Hell No

Rosa in the ring dancing with Primo and Epico. Team Hell No to the ring together.

Kane all over Primo with knees and kicks until Primo rolls out. Bryan takes the tag and tries to settle Kane. Primo attacks Bryan from behind, but Bryan gains control with kicks in a corner. Primo whipped, runs up the corner, then eats a knee from Bryan for two. Primo with a kick on Bryan, then tags out. Epico with a deep arm drag, and Bryan keeps hold on that arm. Epico up and free, but Bryan takes him down. Primo drops from the apron, but this distracts Bryan and they gain control. Epico stomps Bryan as Rosa dances. Primo tags in, works over Bryan. Primo tags in with a drop kick on Bryan for two.

Epico tags in and comes in over the top on Bryan. Bryan’s arms wrenched back, but Bryan reverses and sends Epico flying, but Epico right back on Bryan for two. Primo tags in and they double team Bryan choking him on the ropes for two. Chinlock on Bryan on the mat. Bryan up and elbows free. Blows on bot Colons, but Primo grabs his ankle to stop Bryan, but Bryan tags out.

Kane on Primo with blows and a big body drop. Clothesline in a corner on Primo. Primo whipped and gets a foot up, but comes out into a sidewalk slam. A blow to Epico, then Kane climbs with a big clothesline.

AJ’s music and she comes out wearing skinny jeans – one leg red plaid, the other black – and a belly shirt with one long sleeve. She skips around the ring, but only partially distracts Kane and Bryan. Epico tags in, Bryan in with a drop kick on Primo. Chokeslam on Epico for three.

Winners – Team Hell No (6:08)

More looks between AJ and Bryan.

Backstage Segment

Josh asks Jericho about the Triple Threat Match tonight. Jericho says, I’ve held the IC Championship more than anyone in the WWE, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvver! I have the chance to make ten,. That’s great going into WrestleMania. The showcase of the immortals – Taker, The Rock to Y2J – to every single… then Fandango is there staring at Jericho. Jericho asks ‘junior’ his name. Of course Fandango says his name a couple times for Jericho. Jericho then calls him Fun-dumbo! Fan-dunghole! Fan-jango! Fan-dangler! Fan-Dodge-Durnago! Fan-sweet-mango! Fan-wango-tango! Fan-dingo-ate-my-baby-o! Fan-b-i-n-g-o-and-bingo-was-his-name-o!

That’s very, very funnychristopher, you will learn to pronounce my name properly.

Don’t leave, I didn’t get my movie tickets to my movie yet! I want to see Dead Man Down! I want to take my Grandma! Jericho then asks Striker if he wants to go, then calls for three tickets.

>Commercial

Video

Divas go to Rwanda. It’s a beautiful video that you really need to watch to understand. Nothing But Nets! Nothingbutnets.net

Rhodes vs ADR

Cody to the ring. Ricardo out to announce ADR. ADR’s music has been remixed. Video recap of Swagger with a cheap shot on ADR ringside. ADR was counted out and Big Show won the match.

Rhodes on ADR with blows. ADR sells the knee, then hits head scissors. Kick to Rhodes, then ADR works over Rhodes’ left arm. ADR fights back with a lovely roll through on Rhodes for two. Rhodes hits ADR’s leg and gains control into a corner. ADR whipped and hits the mat hard. Knee drop on ADR. More blows on ADR in a corner. Rhodes whipped but comes out with an elbow. ADR on Rhodes with a kick for two.

Rhodes blocks ADR and suplexes ADR for two. Rhodes chokes ADR in the ropes with his foot. Snap mare on ADR, then head scissors on ADR on the mat. Body drop onto Rhodes. ADR rushes Rhodes in a corner, but Rhodes side steps and ADR shoulder first. Rhodes works that shoulder on the mat with kicks an stomps. Blows on ADR in a corner. ADR fights back with a kick, then snap mare. Kick to Rhodes’ lower back. Rhodes to the apron, then ADR with a low drop kick to Rhodes’ knees. Rhodes’ face bounces off the apron as he goes down.

>Commercial

Punch to ADR’s head, then Rhodes stomps him in a corner. During the break ADR through the ropes and landed badly on the knee. A really rough power slam on Rhodes, then ADR climbs. Rhodes moves for the moonsault and ADR lands on his feet, but sells the knee injury. Rhodes stomps ADR on the mat. Rhodes elevates ADR and slams him to the mat for two.

Rhodes continues to work ADR’s knee, but the left knee, not the one Swagger hit on Wednesday. ADR set up top, Rhodes climbs, but ADR blocks and punches. ADR slams Rhodes to the mat (face first), but ADR again landed on his knee. Both up and exchanging blows. Big clotheslines from ADR, then tilt-a-whirl back breaker on Rhodes. Ricardo pounds the mat, but the fans don’t react. Big kick to the head of a kneeling Rhodes for a long two.

ADR calls for his finisher and the fans barely respond. Rhodes fights back. Rhodes up top, a moonsault type move on ADR for a big two. “USA!” chants from the front floor seats. Rhodes into the ropes and takes the blows to the back, then the back stabber for another long two. Rhodes uses the ropes to stop the count.

ADR rushes Rhodes in a corner, Rhodes moves, but then ADR locks on the cross arm breaker and Rhodes taps.

Winner – ADR (12:52)

ADR up to pose and Swagger attacks from behind. Ricardo jumps on Swagger’s back. Ricardo flipped to the mat, then tossed hard from the ring. ADR and Swagger fight. They go through the ropes, then ADR kicks Swagger in the head, then sends Swagger face first into the barricade. Zeb is yelling for Jack to get up, and ADR turns and looks at him. ADR advances and grabs Zeb. Swagger attacks ADR. ADR into the stairs as Zeb yelled that ADR laid his hands on Zeb. Swagger yells at ADR to never touch Zeb. ADR sent fling across announce. Swagger looks up at the WrestleMania sign. Swagger is leaving the area yelling ‘We, the people!’ over and over. Zeb stops next to Ricardo and Swagger turns back and clotheslines Ricardo hard to the mat. Swagger then locks on the patriot lock on Ricardo. Swagger really wrenches the heck out of Ricardo’s ankle. Ricardo is left holding his ankle screaming on the floor. Swagger gets down in Ricardo’s faces as he’s screaming and writhing in pain and yells, “Welcome to Jack Swagger’s America!” ADR finally to his feet and people are tending to Ricardo who is screeching at them to not touch his ankle.

>Commercial

Video

Recap of the fight ringside between Swagger and ADR, then Swagger attacked Ricardo. King says he believes Swagger broke Ricardo’s ankle. During the break they splinted Ricardo’s ankle and get him on the stretcher. Cole says they think his ankle was broken.

HOF Video

A lovely video for Booker T’s career and crazy antics in WCW and the WWE. Booker into the HOF!

In Ring Segment

Orton out to the ring. Booker T is trending on Twitter.

>Commercial

Orton & Sheamus vs 3MB

Sheamus to the ring. Cole says that x-rays show that Ricardo’s ankle is broken. Video recap of Swagger breaking the ankle.

Drew on Sheamus with blows. Sheamus comes back with blows but telegraphed and is kicked for it. Drew up on Sheamus’ shoulder and Sheamus rolls through. Orton tags in and whips Drew. Drew with an elbow in Orton’s face, but Orton back with a drop kick. Sheamus tags in and hits his forearms from the apron! Sheamus’ battering ram for two. Drew tries to fight back but takes a short clothesline. Mahal talks smack from outside. Slater tags in and they double stomp Sheamus in the heel corner. Slater chokes Sheamus with a foot in the corner. Drew tags in with a big boot on Sheamus for two.

Slater tags in and they double team Sheamus for two. Drew eats an ah handle from Sheamus before Sheamus tags out. Orton all over Slater with a power slam, then sends Slater to the apron for his ‘vintage’ DDT. Sheamus in and takes out Drew, then a brogue kick to Mahal on the apron. RKO for three.

Winners – Sheamus & Orton (3:49)

The Shield’s music hits as soon as Sheamus and Orton start to celebrate. The Shield to ringside and surround. Orton and Sheamus are ready for a fight, then Big Show’s music hits. Big Show actually runs to the ring and slides in. Big Show stands between Sheamus and Orton. Orton is wary of Big Show. Ambrose on the apron, then down. Rollins to the apron, then down. Big Show stares through Reigns the whole time. The Shield leaves ringside while the three in the ring stand ready. Sheamus and Orton look to Big Show who simply looks back. Big Show steps over, looks at the WrestleMania sign, points at it, looks at Sheamus and Orton, then to the sign again. Big Show leaves the ring and Orton and Sheamus are obviously confused.

Announce Segment

Cole sets up for The Rock’s newest movie, GI Joe: Retaliation. Video for the movie. The same video we’ve already seen a couple times.

>Commercial

Kofi vs Ziggler

Kofi comes bouncing out to the ring. Ziggler out with AJ and Big E. video recap from Smackdown where Big E beat down Bryan, then Kane took Big E down, but Ziggler got the win. After it was over Kane took a 5 count.

Arm bar on Kofi. Kofi reverses it and takes Ziggler down. Kofi again takes Ziggler down with an arm bar. Blows on Kofi, then side headlock takeover on Kofi, and Ziggler keeps the hold on. Big shoulder block drops Kofi hard. Kofi over and under Ziggler, then a big elbow to Ziggler’s jaw. Kofi rushes Ziggler in a corner, but Ziggler moves and Kofi lands hard. Ziggler gets two. Drop kick on Kofi for two.

Chinlock on Kofi on the mat. Ziggler goes into his headstand in the hold, then drops down yelling, “NOPE!” Ziggler rushes Kofi, but eats corner. Double clotheslines from Kofi, but Ziggler ducks. Kofi reverses the sleeper and takes Ziggler down. Big slingshot splash on Ziggler for a long two. Kofi with his boom drop, then tries to get the fans going, but gets little from them. Ziggler catches Kofi, but Kofi reverses back on Ziggler and knocks Ziggler. AJ on the apron to distract. Kofi runs the apron at Ziggler, but Big E swats Kofi down hard! Ziggler rolls Kofi in at 6, then a zig-zag for three.

Winner – Ziggler (4:40)

Video of the high points, including Big E and AJ. They celebrate in the ring, but then fire erupts! Out comes both Bryan and Kane. Bryan on the mic congratulates Ziggler for being the only one to get Bryan and Kane on the same page.

Kane says, in case you haven’t been paying attention, I’m not in a good place right now. Now, we’v all seen what Big E can do outside the ring, how about we see what he can do inside it. What do you say Ziggler and Big E against Team Hell No.

AJ gets on mic and says, my boyfriend Ziggy and Big E accept, but only if you put the TTC on the line, and at WrestleMania.

Bryan says let me think about it for a minute, “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” “YES!” “YES!”

Announce Segment

King and Cole talk about the Touts coming in.

>Commercial

Announce Segment

Video recap of Taker in the ring going after Punk verbally for making it personal. Punk came back playing for puppeteer Bearer in the urn, then trying to juggle Bearer. King says it’s one of the most despicable things he’s seen with the passing of Bearer. They then go to video of Cena and The Rock going to WrestleMania. The same video they showed last week on RAW and Smackdown.

In Ring Segment

Miz to the ring.

>Commercial

WWE Rewind

Miz was tossed into Barrett last week, so Barrett got involved with the match and caused this Triple Threat Match tonight

Intercontinental Championship Triple Threat Match – Barrett (c) vs Miz vs Jericho

Barrett has joined Miz in the ring. The lights go out and and Jericho to the ring.

Barrett on both Jericho then Miz. Jericho takes Barrett down for two. Barrett knocked from the ring, then got knocked down outside. Jericho on Miz outside. Jericho rolls Barrett in during big “Y2J!” chants. Drop kick on Barrett for two. Miz pulls Jericho from the ring, then takes him down. Miz slides in and dakes Barrett down for two, then for two more. Barrett whipped, then takes Miz’s clothesline. Jericho knocked down by Miz and Barrett gets a chance to attack Miz. Running knee on Miz’s gut across the corner. Barrett and Miz up, Jericho joins in and bombs Barrett who superplexes Miz.

>Commercial

Barrett pins Jericho for one. Miz gets knocked from the apron by Barrett. Big knee to Jericho’s gut for two. Chinlock on Jericho by Barrett. Jericho up and elbows free. Jericho whipped, but a foot up. Shoulder blocks to Barrett. Barrett sends Jericho to the apron, but Jericho climbs and cross body for two. Barrett planted face first as Jericho yells, ‘Come on baby!” But then Miz low ropes Jericho from the ring. Barrett on Miz for two.

Miz with a low drop kick on Barrett’s knee. Miz locks on a fig 4, but Jericho with a lionsault on Miz for two. All three are struggling up. Miz knocked out, Jericho on Barrett. Jericho reverses climbing all over Barrett, then locks on the walls! Barrett crawls, but pulled into t caner of the ring. Miz in and tries for his SCF. Jericho and Miz sends Barrett over the top and Jericho gets two on Miz. Jericho with a code breaker, but Barrett sends Jericho from the ring. Barrett pins but Jericho pulls him out and Barrett into the barricade back first, hard. Jericho in and two on Miz! “Y2J!” chants.

Miz takes Jericho down for two. Big boot from Miz to Jericho for two. Chops from Jericho, but Miz ducks the enziguri. Jericho pins Miz for two. Miz with a SCF, but Barrett slides in and rolls up Miz for three.

Winner – Barrett (12:21)

Video recap of the match. Jericho is struggling outside the ring, Miz in the ring, Barrett smiling on the stage.

Video

Red carpet for The Call. Otunga, Halle and other actors talking about how great the movie is.

Announce Segment

Cole talks about the possible stips between Trip and Brock. Here’s the Touts. One guy calls for Falls Count Anywhere. A woman calls for No DQ. A guy calls for a Three Stages of Hell (I agree). The last guy calls for No DQ, First Blood, Ambulance or Ironman Match.

>Commercial

In Ring Segment

The table is set up in the ring, chair on each side. Triple H’s music and out he comes, leather jacket and all. Heyman waddles to the ring, three security guys in tow.

I’d have thought Brock would want to come out and look me in the eyes after I busted him open two weeks ago.

That’s not an insinuation that Brock’s afraid of you, is it? I think we all know that Brock is fearless. On the other hand I’m just an advocate and I’m afraid. I’m afraid of you because you realize the predicament we put you in. Either you disappoint the WWE ‘Universe’, you take away from all of these people the match they want to see, or, option B you sign to face the beast incarnate and don’t know what the stips are. I think you don’t know what to do yet. I think you’re a frustrated man, and I don’t want you to take those frustrations out on me. As a measure of precaution, I brought my own security detail.

And, in typical Paul Heyman style,you have spared no expense. Quality.

Okay, I see where this is going. Let me spell it out, how this works. Heyman puts down the folder and shows Trip something. Heyman says that his client, Brock Lesnar, has already signed this agreement for WrestleMania. If and only if you sign this, then and only then, I will tell you the stips we picked for you. Your game. Game’s on.

You forgot one part, I sign the contract, you tell me the stips, I don’t give a crap and I kick Brock Lesnar’s ass at WrestleMania. Let’s do this, give me the contact.

I respect your decision, and I’ll give you the contract, but since I have you as a captive audience, you won’t mind if I took a moment to really enjoy this, will you? Because Brock, I can assure you is really enjoying this. Brock and I have watched one particular piece of footage over and over and over again. I want to remind you of what happened three weeks ago on RAW. Video recap of Trip coming out and attacking Brock, busting him wide open, hitting him with a chair and sending him from the ring.

Heyman is all smiles over this, says it’s as big as it gets and here’s my question to you. How do you top that? Being a visionary, I know how to top that, at WrestleMania, it’s Brock vs Trip and Trip is blindfolded! Nah! See, my client wants you to look into the face of the man delivering the beating to you. So, we came up with a different plan, Trip’s hands cuffed and ankles shackled. I know it would suck because Trip would have every excuse in the book, and Brock doesn’t want Trip to have any excuses when he beats you at WrestleMania. So Brock said to me that I could pick the stips, and I want to make it really personal between the two of you. So Brock Lesnar, the best incarnate versus Triple H, the Game, the Cerebral Assassin and the winner of the match gets your wife Stephanie. But we all know that wouldn’t work because we’re all talking personally, so the loser gets Stephanie?

Trip drags Heyman across the table and dumps him on the floor before beating up the security guards and tossing them from the ring. The last security guard flees. Trip grabs Heyman by the ponytail. “Owe, owe, owe, you’re hurting me!” Trip slams Heyman onto the table, pulls Heyman’s shirt open and chops his chest as Heyman calls for Brock.

I know Brock won’t come out until I sign this, so why don’t I take my time and enjoy this?

Trip slaps Heyman’s face over and over, rips his t-shirt open, slaps and chops some more. There’s blood on Heyman’s face, possibly from his mouth, Heyman calling for Brock the whole time. Trip slapped the contract onto Heyman chest, signed it, then stabbed the pen through it ‘into’ Heyman’s chest. Trip tells Heyman to call his beast. Heyman is rolled off the table, then trip rolls him to the apron and kicks him from the ring. Trip then throws a chair down on Heyman and yells at Heyman to go get him.

I hate you!

Brock comes out with a chair in hand, beats it on the top of the ramp, then heads for the ring. Trip has his sledge in hand and Brock stops beside Heyman. Brock throws the chair in at Trip, but then Heyman tries to drag Brock away saying over and over, that we won this round, we won this round. He just signed his own death warrant. Brock and Heyman around the ring, then back up the ramp, but of them all smiles. On the stage Heyman hugs the contract to his chest and says, I ain’t no tough guy, you’re the toughest guy. But that beating was worth getting this contract signed. It will be Brock versus Trip in a No Count Out, No DQ, no stopping the match for any reason, because your match at WrestleMania is No Holds Barred. Heyman laughs, I almost forgot, must be the beating I took. The added stip is that your career is on the line!

Trip looks a little sick looking up the ramp at them.

Heyman can be heard saying ‘game over’ as the camera looks at Trip looking green, then RAW fading to black.

Biggest pop
Taker
Triple H
Jericho

Biggest heat
Punk
Heyman
Brock

Most Mixed
Cena

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  • Kleck

    Khali has the easiest job in the WWE. He gets to carry Nattie as his arm and club people with his right hand.

    We almost got to see the debut of Fandango…I was more concerned about seeing Khali do something…anything in the ring. Whew, close call

    • Earl

      Nothing cuzz, khali bin big boi dere he dun stomp on erbody coz he bin siz of of truk dat otha big full looc lil fron ob kahli i bin big mob scare if i dun seen him newha

      • BlazeKing

        Que?

      • Thefen

        WHAT?

      • http://www.facebook.com/Sythian Simon Veitch

        English child! Do you speak it!?!?

      • MICHAEL

        Allow me to translate. Nothing because, Khali been big boy there. He done stomped on everybody because he is the size of a truck. that other big full look little frown of Khali(?). I been big mad scared if I have seen him anywhere. LMFAO
        YOUR WELCOME

        • opie

          I think it says, “That other big fool look little front of Khali.” Who knows. Either way, it’s more annoying than Brad Maddox with a microphone.

          • MICHAEL

            Haha I tried.

          • Earl

            u mob tryn mak fun o me owat nah dat propa dogg dere i dun jus tri say my pinyan but u mob bin strt tese me fo no resan i dun mak u cry one on one outsde wen i bin see u

          • -|AZ|-

            WHAT???

          • http://www.facebook.com/dave.capano1 Dave Capano

            you mob trying to make fun of me, can’t translate, i done just try say my opinion but you mob been start tease me for no reason i don’t make you cry one on one outside when i been see u

          • michael

            We’re not making fun of you, just trying to comprehend what you are saying. Don’t try and act tough when we don’t know what on the blue hell you are saying.

        • Jimmy

          You’re** But very good job translating the rest, definitely made me laugh haha

    • MonstaHeel450

      “Canadian Slice Of Heaven”……. That’s Nattie. Next week there will be signs everywhere in the ring with that…. T-shirts too.

  • Punker79

    anyone else notice Fandango said Fan DANG O in his promo video instead of Fan DONG O like he has been saying it is? This gimmick is awful. That’s not heel heat he’s getting, its go away because your gimmick sucks heat

    • http://www.facebook.com/jesse.sherwood.7 Jesse Sherwood

      I agree. I told Kendra that WWE is very close to getting Fandango to having X-Pac heat, and I think they may have crossed that threshold tonight. He needs to debut already.

    • Ryan

      so far, his gimmick has sucked a big fandongo

      • Punker79

        ha. classic.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/3GELHSGASCJYIWXCMKPUTAJ5HM Win

    Dare I say it?! Taker seems very ordinary. No mystic. No awe-inspiring presence. Just ordinary in comparison to what we’re use to witnessing from him.

    • opie

      He’s always been pretty lackluster on the mic, but now he moves like an old man (I wonder why).

    • Xavier

      His haircut doesn’t help matters either

  • http://www.facebook.com/jesse.sherwood.7 Jesse Sherwood

    Looks like they are posing to make AJ the factor to help split Hell No up. It makes sense, considering their history, but will she leave Ziggler for one of them, or just cause chaos?

    • Ryan

      I’m thinking she causes chaos between them, which leads to helping Ziggler and Big E win the tag team titles

      • Ryan

        and what do ya know…just announced Hell No v. BigZig for the tag team titles at WM. Man I’m good

      • http://www.facebook.com/jesse.sherwood.7 Jesse Sherwood

        It makes sense now that we have seen the official set-up for the Tag Title match, but I could only hope she went back to Daniel Bryan!

        • Jimmy

          Really hoping Ziggler can become WH Champ and 1/2 of the tag team champs. After this little dry streak that creative has been giving Dolph, he more than deserves it.

    • Sheldon Spencer

      I find it sorta weird that Ziggler is going to compete for the tag team belts considering he has the MITB case but at least he’s on WM.

      • Jimmy

        Hopefully he becaoms 1/2 of the tag team champs and WH champ.

    • Chris

      I am hoping they bring in another Diva to side with Hell No just to counteract AJ. Paige would fit well.

      • http://www.facebook.com/jesse.sherwood.7 Jesse Sherwood

        You know, that is a fantastic idea! She is more than ready, and the Diva division needs new blood.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/3GELHSGASCJYIWXCMKPUTAJ5HM Win

    I’m not sure if the crowd is cheering for Del Rio or Swagger when they’re chanting U.S.A. LOL!

  • The Breaker

    So now this is two WrestleMania matches that were made by way of Vickie Guerrero? WWE creative is getting ridiculously lazy.

    • Gary Robert

      technically, story line-wise3, only Vickie and Booker can make matches as each is in charge of the brand.

      • The Breaker

        Yes, true. Should’ve phrased that differently. The matches just didn’t come together as organically as I would have liked.

  • John

    I really hate having to say this, but the untimely death of Paul Bearer has really helped get heat on the Punk / Undertaker match. It’s definitely bordering on becoming a little bit disrespectful, however i think the build up to this match would’ve been pretty poor without this angle.

  • Sheldon Spencer

    Brock Lesnar

  • opie

    That triple threat match was reeeallly good.

  • Chris

    Ziggy and Big E is probably the first Lawler tag team name i can actually stand behind.

  • Jimmy

    2013 HOF just keeps looking better and better. NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT SUCKKKKKAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

  • Ronnie D

    I Expected that from Heyman, due to the fact that they want HHH’s Career to end is going to put WWE in the toilet, and people saying that Cena sucks after he had a hard year, not to d**k-ride, but had a marriage end, screwed out of the title for a full year, but becoming the fourth man to win royal rumble twice, he deserved a shot and a chance at redemption. And also, He did what the rock couldn’t do years ago, he beats Lesnar just like what I’m gonna see what Hunter is gonna do.

  • Cubed56

    What was the point of Orton and Sheamus not choosing Big Show on smackdown if they were just gonna pull Ryback off the team anyways to fight Mark Henry. Creative is horrible. Anyways I believe show will replace Ryback and either he or Orton will turn on the team at WM. I also hope AJ screws Ziggler in the tag match and he getsbtheclast laugh by cashing in later in the night, provided ADR and Swagger dont kick off WM.