Okay, let’s get this part out of the way. I’m going to talk a little bit about the fake marijuana death that happened to the thirteen year old. I posted a comment under the original article on the site, but maybe it was too angry to be approved. There were about ten or twelve comments before I tried to post mine, and all of them either had to do with saying “Screw the government and their controlling” or “Lighting plastic on fire? What an idiot.” With regards to all of you morons, and yes, I’ll gladly alienate some of you to prevent your idiocy from clogging up my webspace, who immediately started blaming the government, let’s get one thing straight. The government was not
involved in the death of this boy whatsoever. Even if this kind of stuff were legal, and even if marijuana were legal, this kid still would have died because he’s an asthmatic doing stuff to mess up his respiratory system. Secondly, if you’re talking about the WWE banning this fake pot, then the government isn’t involved in that either. Get a clue and stop blaming the government, just so you can say you’re punk, or you’re cool, or because you want to occupy something. Also on this point, before we blame the government, WWE, Evan Bourne, or say how sad it is that the kid died – WHERE WAS HIS MOTHER?! Clearly, the mom wasn’t paying enough attention to her kid to know that he was SMOKING (fake) POT. How does that not set off warning signals in your head? Down here in Plano (a suburb of
Dallas) and other surrounding rich-villes, so many parents just give their kids a wad of cash and then send them off to God knows where so they can get some alone time. Where I bartend, I overheard a mom talking to another parent saying, “I think that until they’re 18, give them whatever they ask for.” ………..NO! I mean…I just…seriously?! Okay…my soapbox rant is over, the point of it being that fake and real pot is dangerous, legal or not, and I do NOT want to get in the ring with anyone that’s high. I’ve already had that happen to me and I didn’t find out until after the match, and while nothing bad happened to me, you don’t like hearing that kind of crap. *sigh* Alright, are we ready? Let’s get to SMACKDOWN!
“Do you know the ene…” Oh crap, we’re starting!
Hey, score another one for non-formulaic starts to Smackdown. Pretty darn convincing beat down by the champ, and it lends more to my theory from last week that D-Bryan might be out of action until about the Royal Rumble to take revenge on the World’s Strongest Man. Is it so unbelievable to think that Mark Henry will still be champion by Wrestlemania? With Kane coming back soon, that gives him one more decent program before we start the Road to Wrestlemania and a potential showdown with Mr. Money in the Bank. Also, thank God for a lengthy title reign.
Segment Grade: A
Sin Cara vs. Dolph Ziggler
Something is going to have to show for Dolph double booking himself two pay per views in a row. What a workhorse! At any rate, this was as decent a Sin Cara match as we’ve come to expect. I like the fresh matchup here, and that’s one of those great things about a multi-man match like Survivor Series or Money in the Bank – it gives us an opportunity to see matches we probably wouldn’t
have a chance to see because it doesn’t make sense storyline-wise. Dolph has definitely cemented himself as one of the futures of the company, and as long as he keeps his nose (and veins) clean, that U.S. Title will go to someone else ready to make the rise because Ziggler will be on the way up. And how crazy is it that Vickie still draws the heat she does? This entire ending segment, from
the rolling up with the tights, to Swagger and Ryan transitioning into their match, was very nicely done.
Match Grade: B+
Jack Swagger vs. Mason Ryan
Okay, so there seems to be some discussion as to whether Mason Ryan is a juicer. No, I don’t mean a guy selling freshly squeezed fruits, I mean a steroid user. Look, I’m willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. I’ve seen body builders that are “au natural” so to speak, taking the right kind of legal supplements and just having a great workout regimen. Who knows? Maybe Mason’s been working on that his entire life. Also, I don’t recall anyone batting an eyelash when Ezekiel Jackson
popped up on the scene – and he’s as jacked as, if not more than, the Welsh Juggernaut. On to Ryan’s wrestling ability – we know he’s gotten the Batista comparison, but I’ll take this guy over Dave Batista any day. Mason looks like he has the passion for wrestling, or at least the willingness to be something more than just a muscle man. At this point, I don’t care if I don’t hear him speak. He’s shown he’s got more than three moves and a taunt, and I’m quite alright with that. I think that since they threw him somewhat haphazardly into the Survivor Series match, he’ll last until the second or third elimination. This is the kind of match I would have wanted to see him in prior to being announced for Team Orton; that way, I’d have some understanding as to why he’s involved. Putting him over was the right move, as Swagger, I think, is just established enough that a loss like this doesn’t really make him look weak (at least, no more than his fall from championship grace has done), and giving the rub to the new kid is always a nice touch. I hope he can hold his own in front of historic MSG.
Match Grade: B-
Woo Woo Woo…he…doesn’t know it, bro?
Justin Gabriel is going to show Alicia Fox some moves? Whoa there, daredevil. I liked Big Show jauntily (good word) coming in, ready to sign the petition before he realized that everyone was acting like someone died. I liked even more how serious he got as soon as he was told.
Segment Grade: B+
Christian Stays Relevant
I get the feeling that a lot of viewers out there are wondering why this promo happened. Christian’s injury has been announced heavily throughout this week on TV and the website, so it’s not like we need an explanation. I can’t say that I have an answer for you, but I have a somewhat far-fetched theory. People know Christian is good. People respect him for his dedication and wrestling acumen, and I’m pretty sure they have more of an inclination to cheer him than boo him because most of what he touches turns to gold. If he’s going to be out for any significant amount of time, he’s
got to keep heat on himself. Other than that, I found the whole segment to be fairly random, but I’ll keep an open mind until he returns from injury. Maybe this is a catalyst for something.
Segment Grade: C
Daniel Bryan and…A.J.? DAMNIT.
Are these two going to be involved in an angle? If WWE.com is covering it (see “AJ says she’s just friends with Daniel Bryan), then you gotta believe it. But who is it going to benefit? You’ll see what I’m talking about later on in the blog. Also, could this lend credence to my OTHER theory from last week, regarding Bryan turning heel on Big Show?
Segment Grade: C
Ted DiBiase vs. Derek Bateman w/Maxine
Interesting P.I.P. they did there with Bateman and Maxine. Is this his official Smackdown debut? Is he out of NXT purgatory? One thing I detest is when people lose their debut match, unless their character is scripted to be a loser. I hated it when Johnny Curtis (WHO?!) lost to Mark Henry, and I hate that Bateman lost to DiBiase here. Sure, Bateman was given no fanfare except for that promo, but I think that people understand he’s been on NXT for a while, and since he’s got a valet, the casual fan might guess he’s gotta be someone. I also understand that DiBiase is in the middle of some sort of a push right now, but if that’s the case, have him beat up Jinder Mahal again. Bateman
should have gone over on someone tonight. I disagree with the momentum killing. Anyways, the match itself was alright. Bateman shows promise, but that crap on top of his head has to be tamed or cut before anyone will take him super seriously. DiBiase keeps rolling along, but when will a true test come?
Match Grade: C
Jinder got knocked the f*** out!
So if you listen a little later on in the broadcast, the announce team says the following: “Big Show assaulted a man backstage for no reason.” So Jinder doesn’t even get a name anymore? Oh man, he’s gotta be future endeavored soon. At least D-Bryan got name dropped, but Jinder Mahal got nothing! Um, with regards to the promo, I’ve always had a little issue with promos directed to someone “at home.” I don’t know how to fix that, but it just feels awkward when the wrestler breaks the fourth wall, so to speak, and does things like say, “I know you’re watching” while speaking directly to the camera or, you know, punching the camera. The little hype speech at the end was different, and not
necessarily in a bad way. I definitely believe Show is pumped and ready for this Sunday. I like the way this match has been built, and I’m expecting a good “Big Man” match from these two again.
Segment Grade: B+
Kofi Kingston vs. Hunico
Yikes. Proof that a dead crowd can kill a pretty decent match exists here. Hunico is impressing me, and he’s doing it in different ways. I liked his ground game tonight, and I agree with the announcers that as Sin Cara, he had to be a high flyer in order to compete with Sin Cara, but now that he lacks the mask, it’s a good time for him to step out on his own. I saw some great
submissions and some decent psychology, but I don’t think the character of Hunico has developed enough for people to give a damn. I think if he had had one of the Colons out there doing heel-manager stuff, it would have helped his case, but I could tell the crowd just wasn’t interested in seeing Kofi Kingston grounded. Kofi did his best to get the crowd going, but to no avail. An
interesting ending concluded this contest, and it’d be interesting to see if they bring this little miscount up after Survivor Series, with Epico and Hunico perhaps challenging Air Boom for their titles. I don’t Hunico is going anywhere for a while, and I hope the fans start giving him a chance.
Match Grade: B+
The Sisters of Salvation vs. The Chickbusters
I dislike AJ’s new music. They’ve been using her pop-punk stuff to lead the Divas in before commercial breaks, and I’m not a fan. I also thought that the whole hot tag sequence was a bit odd. AJ looked like she was waiting to hit someone, and the whole go-home looked awkward. Beth and Natalya did alright in this match, finally getting a little bit of a chance to showcase their talents
against one Kaitlyn. That Sharpshooter at the end was NASTY looking. Why didn’t Kaitlyn come break it up? Why does it look like they’re going to break up the Chickbusters? I am not a fan of that!
Match Grade: C-
Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes
I said it on Facebook, and I’ll say it again – I like Cody Rhodes latest evolution. It’s getting close to what my favorite gimmick in all of professional wrestling is – and that’s no gimmick necessary. What does that mean? It means you’ve gotten yourself over to the point that you don’t need to pretend you’re psychotic, you don’t need to dance to ringside, and you don’t need to push your beliefs on someone to get the proper reactions. Your mere presence and words evokes the reaction you’re obtaining. Randy Orton has gotten to this level, Benoit and Malenko always had it, and Cody’s on his way very quickly. The music is more frantic, the cannon is more loose, and the man is growing by leaps and bounds. I liked the psychology in this match, as we had a couple of “matches within the match” segments. I’m glad Barrett is getting another shot at the top, and I would love to see him feud with Sheamus, something that I’ve been waiting for a good while now. It still doesn’t seem like Cody and Orton are done yet, especially given Rhodes’ words in the P.I.P. promo (“What personal feelings?”). For now, I’ll say that the build to this traditional five on five Survivor Series match has been handled excellently by the Smackdown booking team. Not only that match, but three title matches were built tonight in some capacity. That means we had a balanced show. I remember last year and probably the year before that where the 5-on-5 match was built in one show full of singles matches and then the following week were a bunch of tag matches. Everyone on both teams seems to have a great desire to win the match, not just because that’s the intent of a match, but because they have a personal something at stake. I really hope Christian is at ringside for Sunday.
Match Grade: A
In-Ring Action: B- If you change around the Ted DiBiase match, maybe this category has a higher grade. The main event was match of the night, but Hunico/Kofi wasn’t far behind it.
Again, I like that the Survivor Series matchups didn’t happen back-to-back-to-back, but were spread out nicely enough to keep interest and develop the mini-angle. I’ll be excited to see how Mason Ryan, Hunico, and Sin Cara hold up in this kind of environment, and I can’t wait to see Ziggler
wrestle twice in one evening. Will Zack Ryder play a part in the U.S. Title Match? Hmm..
Out-of-Ring Action: B- A lot of this was centered around the World Heavyweight Championship match. I thought the beatdown to open the show was nicely done, and the little moment between Bryan and Show in the trainer’s room might lead you to believe that something between those two is brewing for the future. The picture in picture promo work tonight worked well for Cody, but not so much for Bateman. Let’s say someone, such as myself, doesn’t keep up with NXT…why do I care that the guy is on Smackdown now? He needed more than just an insert.
Overall: B- This wasn’t terrible for the go-home show. It did just what it needed to in building up all of the featured matches for the night. I could have done without Ted
DiBiase/Derek Bateman, but in order for my scenario of inconsecutive Survivor Series build up matches, we needed to have fillers. I’m eager to watch what goes down this Sunday, not just for The Rock, but for the rest of the card. Let Raw worry about building up the non-title tag match while throwing the WWE Title match practically to the dogs. Smackdown has built up all of its
Outside the Blog Zone
I would just like to offer an apology to anyone I’ve been a jerk to on the comment boards. A buddy of mine always tells me to quit reading the comments section of any article because it’ll end up making me angry in the end. At any rate, I need some help identifying someone from FCW. The name she’s working under down here is Su Young. She’ll be wrestling in a triple threat for MPX in a couple of weeks and…I know nothing about her. Anyone have any clues? Also, I’m thinking of having a banner created for my blog…who out there likes designing stuff like that? Until next week, thank you for making me your CHOICE for Smackdown blogging.