Smackdown! or …Fizzle from the Past…

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A BLOG, NOT A NEWS ARTICLE. THE FOLLOWING WRITINGS ARE THE OPINIONS OF A STAFF WRITER OF WRESTLING NEWS WORLD. THEY DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE OWNER OR THE OTHER MEMBERS OF STAFF. ALSO: COMMENTS ARE WELCOME AS LONG AS THEY PROVOKE MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION OR CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. GRAMMAR/SPELLING IS SUBJECT TO RIDICULE.

Opening Thoughts

I was all excited to write the blog for this show…and then the show happened. Really, I now have zero motivation to write this except that I like writing for this site. So with that being said, are we ready? Let’s get to SMACKDOWN!

Mean, WHOO, BY GOD GENE

Apologetic Sheamus just doesn’t sit right with me. For that matter, face Sheamus is bugging the crap out of me. I’m fairly sure it’s bugging the crap out of Sheamus too – he looked extremely bored coming down the ramp. Anyways, I was NOT a fan of the promo – but I was a fan of the interaction between Sheamus and Laurinaitis. Is it weird that I’m saying that Laurinaitis actually made this segment better? The pairing of Mean Gene and Sheamus automatically meant that the match itself was going to be a throwaway – and I don’t know why I was disappointed when it was the main event.

Segment Grade: C

Daddy Time

Until Kane came out, I seriously thought that the only reason they brought Cowboy onto the show was to do this segment and to be shown watching his son’s match. Unfortunately, they’re not going to kill this angle.

Segment Grade: C

Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry

As I sat watching Henry beat up on Orton, I thought about how they were going to end this match, especially since CM Punk was in Vodka-country. Could we see a new opponent for Orton come out? Would we have Mark win in some form or fashion to look strong going into Monday’s title match? And then the pyro hit. Last week should have been the blow off match for this angle, but it appears we’re going to “kick it up a notch” by bringing in Cowboy Bob Orton. The puns that Kane uttered here were actually quite funny, and I’m sure Guy Landau got a kick out of them like I did. I’m just ready for this feud to be over. The last time I remember Bob Orton being involved in Randy’s feuds, it was Kane’s brother, and they both ended up being tombstoned. I suppose we’ll have to see how RKO responds next week. Henry gains and loses nothing here.

Match Grade: B-

Benny Camer vs. Ryback

Legends aside, what is it with people gathering around that same spot to watch a Ryback match? Benny was slightly better than the kid from last week about getting people to boo him – and this is somewhat of a unique approach to building up a monster face. I don’t recall jobbers getting mic time, much less heel mic time. I forget who said it on Twitter, but someone said that Ryback had his action figure arms going. I’m not going to lie, that clothesline to start was vicious, and props to Camer for selling that like a champ. I haven’t gone back and compared the two matches side by side, but…it looked like Ryback changed how he held his opponent for his finish.

Match Grade: SQUASH

The Most Annoying Manager Since Fonzie

It got even more annoying during the match. I’m not entirely sure how we got to Slater randomly asking Kidd to be his tag team partner, but it all seemed to be a big setup for the Jimmy Hart punchline. Kidd has all the charisma of a pink crayon.

Segment Grade: C

Slater/Kidd w/Jimmy Hart vs. The Usos

Yup, I still mark out for the Usos entrance, and with a mic, people actually respond when they call out. As far as the in ring action for this tag match goes, it wasn’t a terrible match, but Jimmy Hart being an annoying turd at ringside REALLY took away from this match, way more than Michael Cole ever did. To make matters worse, we couldn’t hear Mick on commentary (anyone else laugh when Cole said that Mick enjoyed his time at commentary?). I’m sure everyone and their brother popped when Mick said “Enough is enough, and it’s time for a change.” I like the Usos, and it’s kind of a shame that we couldn’t see them in a legitimate match up. Like I said before, this was just a big setup to the Jimmy Hart punchline.

Match Grade: B-

Piper’s Pit

Finally, we come to one of the only meaningful segments on this entire show. We learned that Sheamus and Daniel Bryan are going to a 2-out-of-3 falls match. I happen to love these types of matches, but I understand where people aren’t huge fans of them due to the fact that 99% of the time, each wrestler wins a fall. I’m kind of sad that AJ basically just submitter herself to Daniel, and I think this kind of obsessions is unhealthy. That’s right, obsessing over someone is a bad thing. I think AJ is better than that. AJ shouldn’t be near Daniel Bryan. I agree with Hot Rod about AJ. Yup. Don’t obsess. I’m not entirely sure that Daniel Bryan can ever completely regain his heel heat – he’s just too good, and people appreciate what he does and how he does it. Piper and Bryan played well off of each other, and I’m looking more forward to this WrestleMania rematch than any other…for several reasons.

Segment Grade: A-

The Great Khali, Alicia Fox & Natalya vs. Drew McIntyre and The Bella Twins

The faces get a jobber entrance and the heels get a jobber entrance. Great. Hey Drew, I feel ya man…you deserve better than this, but I slightly envy your position before the bell. Anyways, Natalya didn’t get in the ring. That’s right.

Match Grade: F.

Sweet Shin Music by Mae

Well…you couldn’t have a “past” show without Mae Young, could you? And for the love of God, Khali couldn’t sell an old woman’s kick to the knee. That’s not a diss…that’s a freaking fact.

Segment Grade: F

Damien Sandow…AGAIN!

Ah yes, this is wonderful. I know this man’s going to get a heel reaction merely for using S.A.T. words. It’s obvious that he can talk the talk, but I’d love to see how he meshes and moves when the bright lights of the big stage are on him.

Segment Grade: B+

Drink to Remember or Drink to Forget

This kind of talking from Sheamus, I’m okay with. A happy Irishman ready to drink reminds me of the face APA. Anyways, we have to gear ourselves up for this mess of a match…

Segment Grade: B-

“HACKSAW” JIM DUGGAN vs. Hunico

Yeah, I still popped for Hacksaw, especially when Hunico was his opponent, but there wasn’t even a “USA!” chant in his match. On that note, this didn’t really do anything for Hunico or Camacho except job them out to Sergeant Slaughter. That’s right, they didn’t even job out to Hacksaw. My feelings on this match are the same as my feelings on this whole show, which I will discuss at the end.

If you will…

This segment could have been done without Dusty Rhodes, but since it’s Blast from the Past…anyways, somthing about poking a bear, and I’m sure someone was sitting in the Gorilla position going, “WHAT?! Show get out there.” This whole segment was just kind of…awkward. Even showing the Dashing footage, which was a more welcome blast from the past, I thought the whole follow up by Show was weird. Then, when Show disappeared, there was an awkward silence, and then Dream’s music hit. Just weird.

Segment Grade: C+

Daniel Bryan and Alberto del Rio vs. Sheamus and Mean Gene

Hooray for Fink! I was pretty sure that this was going to be a handicap type match, but I thought it was going to go longer than it did before breaking down into a stupid bullying session. And then, “the door to the retirement home” was opened and all the Legends came out. This ended in an abrupt Brogue Kick on Daniel Bryan, which is NOT how I would have booked it. Del Rio doesn’t have the match at Extreme Rules, so he should have taken the fall. I just was not a fan of this match HAPPENING.

Match Grade: C

Post-Match Cole-down

The ONLY good thing I can say about this is that at least they didn’t sacrifice a wrestler for this. Waste. Of. Time.

Segment Grade: F

Recap

In-Ring Action: C+ At least we saw Ryback back in there for a second week in a row. Everything else “wrestling” wise had absolutely nothing to do with anything. Purely nostalgia, but it wasn’t even good nostalgia.

Out-of-Ring Action: C+ I was about to give this a D, but then I realized that a couple of Extreme Rules matches were built with promos…or rather continued from WrestleMania with promos. Everything else was just…ugly.

Overall: C+ Honestly this was a terrible “flashback” episode. I think Richard said it best in Ask WNW when he said it was just a filler show because the Raw crew is in Russia. There wasn’t even an old school set or anything. I think this was a waste of a live episode of Smackdown.

Outside the Blog Zone

I’ve got an improv show tomorrow night! Hooray for activity – and I’ve got MPX this Saturday. This is a very busy week for me, so I’m glad I was able to get this blog out of the way. Okay, I’m gonna try and get some sleep now. I’m sorry this blog was a little lackluster…but this episode was a little lackluster. Until next week, thank you for making me your CHOICE for Smackdown blogging!

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