Smackdown or The King of Mystery Returns

Opening Thoughts

I wanted to open this by grieving for those in Colorado affected by what appears to be just a complete nutjob’s actions. Some people, you can look at and say, “Maybe he had a bad life,” or “Maybe he had a reason for going after those people,” but from all accounts, I would say with 100% conviction that none of those people in that theater deserved what he did. Especially not a 3 month old child. And shut up, please, about politics and gun-control laws and who would run this country better, just for a day or two, please; this is not about any of that, it’s about the mental capacity of one individual, and no amount of planning or security can prepare us for that. Okay, I’m off of my soapbox and ready for some wrestling. We’ve got the 1000th episode of Raw coming up, and the boys on MY show are going to be doing stuff on it. So are we ready? Let’s get to SMACKDOWN!

Booyaka? …BOOYAKA!

It’s been about a year, and while we all know what to expect with Rey Mysterio, it’s good to hear his entrance music and see his entrance pyro again, just to freshen up the scene a little bit. I do think it was weird that he went through all of the entrance motions on Monday when he should have just rushed the ring, but ah well…it’s for the kids, right? It’s good to see that Rey worked on his promos and such while he was gone. That was sarcasm, in case you couldn’t read it. “He kicked your face in!” …nyah nyah… Anyways, this was one of those “typical” opening segments for Smackdown where everyone that comes down for a promo in the beginning comes back for the main event. I like how Dolph is continuously teasing us with a face turn; then he inexplicably decides he’d rather go after Rey WITH ADR. Anyone that argues against a full time GM for a show need only look at the end of this segment, where all four are just staring at each other. The moment just BEGS for someone to say, “OKAY! There’s a tag match! END SCENE.”

Segment Grade: B-

Prime Time Players and Barrio Brothers vs. R-Boom and The Colons

For what it’s worth, this, plus The Usos, are your tag team division. The Usos got their TV time with dad (a cool moment on Monday, but the dancing wasn’t what everyone made it out to be), so this entire week has showcased the Tag Team Division. If we count Reks and Hawkins at MitB, there’s that too. I suppose that’s a step in the right direction? There’s no way this match was going to be a brilliant piece of psychology, but it worked to showcase a little bit of everyone (except for Camacho…still very confused as to his skill set and role). The opening spot with Hunico and Epico was brilliant. The ending looked a little off as Primo looked more distracted by Epico than by A.W., and the resulting finishing maneuver (a gut buster?) looked awkward as well. Anyways, I like that the feud between PTP and The Colons is still going on, and I’m pretty sure we need R-Boom to be done with the Tag Titles, since we’ve barely seen them.

Match Grade: C+

BIG SHOW SMASH!

Well…this would be an interesting turn of events. For those of you that don’t know, I watch Smackdown via YouTube, and sometimes the international version is up before the U.S. version, but it’s not completely edited. As a result, I’ll go back and read the spoilers while I’m doing the blog to make sure I don’t miss anything, and the spoilers we had this week were that Show stated he was going to destroy the tag team division. He mentioned no such thing on the actual show, instead settling for a very effective two word promo. My only question is: Why are we doing this? Much like Team 3D on Impact going nuts on the X-Division (HA, I remember that stuff), I don’t understand the logic behind it. Storyline wise, I’m sure it’s because, “They can,” but creatively? Does creative have nothing for you? Let’s see how Raw 1000 unfolds.

Segment Grade: B

Damien Sandow vs. Zack Ryder

Brainless Broski…heh, that Sandow guy. Well, this basically turned into an extended squash match, which is weird, given how much we got from these two during the qualifying match. I don’t know what else to say except that I like Sandow’s demeanor, just not his in ring set…I keep waiting for that other shoe to drop though.

Match Grade: SQUASH

The Peep Show

Yeah, I was wondering how wedding planning in a week was going. At least with Edge and Vickie’s wedding, there was a planner involved, there was ample time, etc. This whole segment confused me. Honestly, Christian came off as more of the heel in this interview, and Daniel Bryan was face-y not just here but on Raw as well. There was no mention of titles or rivalries, and while a Christian/Daniel Bryan feud would be epic to see, this Peep Show didn’t really lay a ton of groundwork for such a face-off. Oh, and back to my pet peeve from last week? Bryan’s been so busy planning the wedding that he didn’t know he had a match? Yes…that’s why he came out in ring gear to your Peep Show. And Kane as a boyfriend of AJ’s? Ehhh, not so much…

Segment Grade: C-

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

A battle of tweeners? I think the only reason D-Bryan’s a tweener is because everyone knows to boo him, but it’s a “cool kid” thing to do to chant “YES!” This match was really just a stepping stone to get to the AJ/Kane stuff at the end. Not that it was a bad match, by any stretch, and that should really say something about the work ethic of these two. This is practically a meaningless match, and they still performed like it was. It’s clear that after working together a few times in the past, these two have developed a chemistry, and they put a nice match together. The DQ finish was interesting, and then I loved Kane chokeslamming Daniel with AJ on his back. Now the question is – what role will Kane play in the wedding? And why was AJ trying to take his mask off? That last one might not be an actual question going into Monday…

Match Grade: B

Oooooooooh WHAT A RUSH

Before he took off the shoulder pads, I was going to say that Animal looked REAL good…then he did, and I recanted. Basic squash-city here, but nostalgia (especially when it’s a motif) is a good thing. A jumping elbow drop to finish off Slater? That’s not a good thing. It’s…A BAD thing. (BANG!)

Match Grade: SQUASH

Ricardo and Vickie backstage

Uh….what?

Segment Grade: D

Alberto del Rio and Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus and Rey Mysterio

Oh, that whole thing was so we knew why Vickie was interrupting Ricardo? Yeah, I needed a reason for that. That aside, this lived up to  what everyone thought it would, I suppose. This was a good tag match featuring your main event stars. Rey doesn’t look like he’s missed a beat. I will say that I noticed considerably less grappling and actual wrestling moves in this match than usual. There were a ton of punches, kicks, dropkicks, just impact moves, and we saw a neckbreaker, tilt a whirl backbreaker, and a DDT. What happened to suplexes? What happened to legitimate tag team moves? I know del Rio and Ziggler are not truly a team, but I’d like to see something other than just holding the damsel down while the other kicks him. Maybe I’m being too harsh. This was a good match, psychologically, and it did what it needed to do. It inserted Rey into the main event again (a bit shocking, given what’s been going on), reignited his feud with del Rio, and still kept the heels hot on the, um, heels, of the champ. With regards to the failed cash in attempt, didn’t we do this with The Miz? Or somebody? I feel like the repeated failed attempts angle has been done recently before.

Match Grade: B+

Recap

In-Ring Action: B- If not for the main and the Bryan/Kane match, this night would have been bad for wrestling. I would have rather seen the 8-man reserved for Raw 1000 with The Usos instead of the champs, and I would not have minded a straight up tag match…even a Diva’s match would have been better for variety’s sake.

Out-of-Ring Action: C I kind of have to grade this based just off of the opening segment. There were a lot of video hype packages for Cena and for Raw 1000, which is understandable. I hate Heath Slater talking/singing/opening his mouth, and the Vickie/Ricardo segment was extremely unnecessary.

Overall: C+ Fairly lackluster, non-newsworthy episode of Smackdown. The return of Rey Mysterio didn’t really seem like it had the impact it was supposed to, even in his hometown. I guess, though, since these weeks are more about Raw than Smackdown, I can give the Blue Crew a pass. Next week, they better step it up. Oh, what happened to that supposed monster push that Antonio Cesaro was slated for? We’re waiting…

Outside the Blog Zone

I did go see The Dark Knight Rises, and while the entire movie was good, I think the last thirty minutes made the film. Tonight is MPX: Red, Hot, & Blue, and FUNAKI is back in house! We’re just coming off of our BIGGEST and best drawing show to date, so we hope we can do a repeat of the attendance. Until next week, thanks for making me your CHOICE for Smackdown blogging!

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