TNA Impact Results - 03/27/2008
Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell of PWTorch.com
Tonight, it's "Sting returns".
Impact Zone: They started the show mid-fight between Booker T and Robert Roode in the stands. It's like Daniels vs. Joe when they first moved to Thursday nights. They moved from the stands into the ring, then Peyton Banks and Traci Brooks ran to the ring. Traci tackled Peyton, then security hit the ring and tried to separate some folks. Jim Cornette and Matt Morgan showed up ringside to get a closer look at the action.
Announcers: Tenay and West looked slightly befuddled as they cut to a camera shot of them ringside. Tenay and West broke down tonight's lineup, then they went to Jim Cornette, who booked another fan interactive match for tonight. He said it's Roode vs. Booker in a Last Man Standing, I Quit match, or First Blood match.
Backstage: They cut back to Borash, who was with Tomko and Styles. Tomko was pretending like he was a fighter, while Styles had his amateur gear on. Styles said it's just an exhibition against Angle tonight, but he doesn't get it. He said Karen Angle moved out of the Angle home. Styles then asked Tomko what's up with picking Team 3D for Lethal Lockdown. He brought up Sting, but Tomko said they don't worry about anyone because they're the tag champs.
Kurt Angle walked in and said he needs them ready to practice for Samoa Joe. He said he needs Tomko for his size and Styles for his speed. Angle said he's not going to hurt them, but he doesn't want them to hold back. Angle said he's in the zone, so let's get focused. Styles and Tomko left, then Angle sized up Borash and said it might be his turn next week. Borash was befuddled.
In-ring: Team 3D led Johnny Devine to the ring for the opening match. They showed Willie Rubina and Hector Guerrero at the Spanish announce table. Alex Shelley then came out to face Devine for the qualifying match.
1 -- ALEX SHELLEY vs. JOHNNY DEVINE (w/Team 3D) -- Ultimate Xscape qualifying match
Shelley turned his back on Devine before the opening bell, then Devine jumped him from behind. Devine, by the way, is dressed for a trip to the Laundromat. Suddenly, the lights flickered in the arena and Team 3D went running from ringside. Shelley then knocked Devine to the outside and nailed a suicide dive. Total goofball fans on the front row proceeded to throw water on each other. They cut to break, but not before a campy shot of the backstage area where the Knockouts were arguing over the title shot tonight. Christy with handful of Velvet's breasts, then Velvet returned the favor.
[Commercial Break]
[Q2]
Back to live action where Devine scored a nearfall on Shelley. Shelley came back with a moonsault off the ropes, but Devine kicked out. Shelley then dumped him over the top rope to the floor, but Devine picked up Shelley's tripod for the Paparazzi cam and smashed Shelley in the face. Devine then nailed his Devine Intervention double underhook slam for the win.
WINNER: Devine in 9:00.
Video clip: They showed Jay Lethal and So Cal Val at the gym. Oh, Val. Lethal said he needs to train and get ready for Lockdown. He went to the bench press and said he's got this. Val prepared to spot him for over 400 pounds, then Petey Williams walked over and called him a lightweight. Lethal took care of the first three reps with ease, then Dutt walked over and started talking to Val, who lost track of spotting Lethal. Lethal ended up with the weight on his chest with no one hearing his cry for help.
Announcers: Tenay and West broke down the Interactive vote for the divas match and Roode vs. Booker. They killed a little time with some wide shots of the audience before sending it backstage.
Backstage: Crystal interviewed Booker T, who was with Sharmell. Booker said he wants Roode one-on-one tonight, and his plan worked so well. He said he's going to beat him so hard tonight that Roode isn't making it to Lockdown.
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: Team 3D talked up Johnny Devine for the opening match win. Ray said their path and Sting's path have never ever crossed. He said that when Sting was in WCW being coddled, they carried ECW, then carried the show in WWE. So, in the spirit of trying to make TNA relevant by referencing past and current promotions, the lights went down and out again. Ray told Devon to stop screwing around. Devine whistled like he was in the graveyard, then everyone split.
Ringside shots: Tenay said Orlando is the center of the wrestling world this weekend and celebs are on hand. They cut to a shot of Derek Graham-Couch, who a) looked like Robbie Highlander, and b) looked completely bored out of his mind. Actually, that was Robbie Highlander looking completely bored out of his mind.
[Q3]
2 -- LAX (HOMICIDE & HERNANDEZ & SALINAS) vs. SCOTT STEINER & PETEY WILIAMS & ROCKA KHAN
The match started with Steiner and Hernandez exchanging blows in the big heavyweight battle. Steiner looks more jacked than usual. LAX then gave him a double-team splash, then smashed Petey with tag team combo moves. Petey and Steiner worked on Homicide, then Hernandez took the hot tag and did power moves on everyone. He had Petey pinned, but Khan jumped into the ring and kicked Hernandez, who no-sold. They had a stare down, then Khan smashed Salinas to the mat. The divas brawled to the outside, then Hernandez flew over the top rope with a splash onto Steiner. Back in the ring, Homicide with a t-bone suplex with bridge on Petey for the pin and the win.
WINNERS: LAX in 4:00.
TNA Rough Cut segment: Kip and B.G. talked about the Feast or Famine match that we're still waiting for the finish on. B.G. said that give him a chance to hold a tag title with his hero, his father, and Kip was mad about B.G. picking his dad over him after he held B.G.'s hand all the way through. B.G. doesn't get how Kip can be jealous about the deal. Kip said it's about the TNA Tag Titles and he wants a piece of that gold no matter what. Effective on putting over the belts.
[Commercial Break]
Video package: They played a video on the Lockdown PPV, but there was no sound. In the Cube, maybe I should have asked the question of how many production problems will arise. Some random crowd noise was interjected after the video aired, then they tried to air a Consequences Creed video, but again, no sound. The video was cut off and they went to the Impact Zone. They focused on Joel Zumaya of the Detroit Tigers ringside.
Sit-down interview: Mike Tenay brought in Karen Angle for an interview. Karen did this exaggerated deep breath to show how deep this whole situation is. Tenay said it must be real since Karen she moved her family out of the Angle house. Karen said she can't do a marriage anymore where Kurt puts his career first ahead of his family. She said it's the right decision. Tenay asked if there was one breaking point. Karen said Kurt is like a possessed person focusing only on Joe 24/7. Tenay said there are rumors that Karen is seeing someone on the TNA roster. Shark Boy? Karen said she has met someone who treats her like she should be treated. Curry Man? She said she won't confirm who the person is, though. Campy. Forced. Pretentious. Unintentional comedy. The whole segment was over-done.
Impact Zone: Tenay said Angle's sparring session is up next, then they will talk to Samoa Joe live from California.
[Q4]
[Commercial Break]
Video package: They showed clips of Samoa Joe training in a cage earlier this week to prepare for Lockdown. He said Angle is trying to buy training by surrounding himself with high-priced training, but Angle can't buy heart. They focused on Joe doing various MMA holds on his trainer. Joe said it's never been him vs. Angle one-on-one. It's always been Kurt and his wife or Kurt and five other people. Joe made a good point that Angle is an Olympic gold medalist, yet he never shows up alone for a fight. And the show is back on track.
Video interview: Tenay brought in Joe live from Big Bear, Calif. to discuss his training. Joe said it's been the most vicious and extensive training he's been through. He said there will be a war at Lockdown. Tenay said Angle has won three of the four match-ups between them so far. Joe said he can make excuses, but that's not what people want to hear. He said he's going to hold the belt with respect and honor, not by his politics, but by the sweat of his brow in the ring.
Tenay asked about leaving pro wrestling if he does not win the TNA Title. Joe said he's regretted that proclamation ever since he made it because this is pro wrestling and this is his life. So, he doubts himself? I don't want to spend $30 on someone who doubts he can win the match. He then said he doesn't want to be in the business if he can't be the champ. Joe snapped into a screaming promo and said he will be TNA champion come Lockdown.
Announcers: Frank Trigg joined Tenay and West for commentary. Someone bring up Trigg's volume on his headset! Trigg said he's excited to be on the show. Tenay sent it to the ring, but they lingered with an awkward camera shot of Trigg at the announce table before going to ring intros.
3 -- TNA Hvt. champion KURT ANGLE vs. TOMKO & A.J. STYLES -- sparring session -- four rounds (one minute each)
First round was Angle vs. Tomko. They touched fists, then went into an MMA-style battle. Angle took control in the first 40 seconds, then pounded on Tomko at 0:45. Tomko came up bleeding around the eye, then the round ended.
Second round was Styles vs. Angle. Styles stepped in and Styles simply danced around the ring to show off his "speed". Angle got frustrated with Styles not cooperating, and the round ended with a few seconds of contact. The fans chanted, "That was awesome." Obligatory chant.
Third round was Tomko vs. Angle again. Tomko tried to be the aggressor, but Angle drove him into the ropes. Trigg's commentary is solid so far breaking down what's going on. Angle then slapped on the anklelock, and Tomko held on for the final few seconds. Angle and Tomko shook hands, then Styles stepped in.
[Q5 -- second hour]
In the Fourth round, Angle finally got his hands on Styles, but Styles slipped out. The fans were cheering for Styles here. Styles went for a takedown, but Angle sat down on Styles's back. Angle never could get anything going on Styles.
WINNER: Just a training session.
Post-match: Angle and Styles were mad at each other, with Styles saying he was simply doing what he was told. Tomko had to step in to separate them... Christian Cage's music hit to interrupt the argument, then Christian stood on the entrance with Kevin Nash and Rhino. Christian said Joe is taking his title shot seriously, while Angle is doing what he does: manipulate Tomko and Styles while embarrassing himself. Christian said they're offering their services right here, right now for a real training session. They approached the ring, but Angle bailed. This led to the babyfaces having the advantage on Styles and Tomko.
Team 3D then hit the ring, and Devon tripped on a camera cord entering the ring. The heels ganged up Team Christian, then Ray called for the tables. Right on cue, the lights went down and out. The lights came back on and Sting was in the ring with the baseball bat. The ultimate cliché. Sting then cleared the ring with the threat of his baseball bat. He took the mic and said it feels really great to be back in Orlando and live. Sting said he has a message: let's not wait until Lockdown; let's get it on tonight. Tomko accepted from the entrance ramp, then Sting's music hit. Tenay with the Schiavone line to get on the phone and call a friend because it's Team Tomko vs. Team Christian tonight.
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: Borash brought in Robert Roode for a promo on the Fan vote. Borash said it will be Roode vs. Booker in a First Blood match tonight. Didn't fans pay attention to the eye-rolling Joe vs. Tomko finish a few weeks ago? Roode then cut a promo on tonight's match leading to the Lockdown cage tag match.
Ringside: They showed James Farrior of the Pittsburgh Steelers sitting in the stands. ... In-ring: Robert Roode walked to the ring, and they flashed a graphic for about two seconds that said they're having technical difficulties. Booker came out next. No women ringside to start off the match.
4 -- BOOKER T. vs. ROBERT ROODE -- First Blood match
Booker dumped Roode to the outside, then Tenay told the viewers to come back after the break for the conclusion of the match.
[Q6]
[Commercial Break]
They returned with Roode smashing Booker into the ring apron. In the ring, Roode set up a chair in the corner, but Booker reversed a whip and Roode went back-first into the chair. After landing a chair shot to the head on Booker, Roode then had the chair ricochet into his face. Booker clotheslined him over the top rope to the floor, but no blood. On the floor, Booker catapulted Roode face-first into the ringpost. The ref checked for blood and there was a slight trickle on the forehead. Post-match: Booker tried to open up the small cut with a few right hand blows until the ref held him back. And that's it. Boy, he really made sure Roode wouldn't make it to Lockdown.
WINNER: Booker in 11:00.
Backstage: Awesome Kong stood by with Raisha, who cut a promo on Kong's behalf. She kept crunching the paper in her hands, which distracted from the promo. (Or, maybe I noticed that because the printer at work jams every five seconds and I hear the sound of crunching paper in my sleep.) Raisha said she will enjoy watching Kong go to work tonight against the unlucky opponent.
[Commercial Break - WrestleMania promo aired for Mayweather vs. Show.]
Backstage: Borash brought in Gail Kim and ODB to announce the winner of the online voting. Borash said they were separated by fewer than 500 votes. And the winner is...ODB. Gail was mad initially, but then shook her hand and told her to get the job done.
[Q7]
5 -- AWESOME KONG (w/Raisha) vs. ODB -- TNA Knockouts Title match
There was definitely a buzz in the building prior to the opening bell. In the opening minute, ODB went for the Hogan on Andre slam, but Kong fell on top of her for a nearfall. Tenay said they've tried to do some research on Raisha's background, and they discovered she has some wrestling background through her training in Japan. Kong slapped on a Camel Clutch at 3:00, but ODB knocked her away with a few fist smashes. Kong then went for a big splash off the ropes, but ODB moved just in time. They did the spot sequence where ODB tried to knock Kong off her feet, but King wouldn't go down. She then went up top for a Thesz Press to finally knock Kong off her feet for a nearfall. Kong looked vulnerable here, and ODB nailed a face plant for a nearfall at 5:00. ODB then grabbed her breasts to power up, apparently, but Kong suddenly nailed her with a spinning back-fist out of nowhere. She then smashed ODB with the spinning Awesomebomb for the win. Whoa.
WINNER: Kong in 6:00.
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: Crystal brought in Nash, Rhino, and Sting for a promo. Christian said he brought in the lead politician (Nash), mended fences with a former friend (Rhino), and has the ace in the hole (Sting) to round out the team. Christian said he's trying to make up for his mistakes, but he still lives every second of his life like he's the champ. He said Team Tomko is about to find out. And cut. Depends on how the main event match goes, but Sting lost a little mystique just standing there.
In-ring: Team Tomko came out together. Rhino then got his own ring entrance, then Christian Cage came out second. Yes, the team captain gets second out of fourth billing. Nash strolled out third, followed by Sting, who got a strong reception. And now time to give away the semi-main event of the next PPV on free TV. The announcers said it's going to be commercial-free, brought to you by The Forbidden Kingdom. Nice touch.
[Q8]
6 -- TEAM TOMKO (TOMKO & A.J. STYLES & TEAM 3D - RAY & DEVON) vs. TEAM CHRISTIAN (RHINO & CHRISTIAN CAGE & KEVIN NASH & STING)
Sting appears to be in pretty good shape, answering my Cube question. Christian and Styles started things off. Tomko then came in and Team Christian focused on Tomko's swollen eye from the Angle segment. Team Tomko gained control at 4:00 and focused on Rhino by isolating him in their corner. Nice tag work with quick in-and-out tags from the heel team. Sting eventually took the hot tag at 7:00 and cleaned house. He set up Ray and Devon for an accidental double splash on each other in the corner, then Sting slapped on the Scorpion Deathlock on Styles. Ray broke it up, then the action broke down. Each side traded control and big spots, then Sting press slammed Styles over the top rope onto Tomko. Sting slapped the Scorpion on Devon, and Team Christian held off the dogs. Devon then tapped out.
Post-match: Team Christian stood tall in the ring while Earl Hebner walked around the ring trying to keep himself in the moment so he can have the big arm-raising spot. Big fireworks shot off, then suddenly, James Storm interrupted and smashed Sting in the back of the head with a beer bottle. The heels ganged up on Team Christian while Storm talked trash to Sting, who was motionless on the floor. Tenay told us to tune in next week to find out what this is all about.
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