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TNA iMPACT! Results - 05/29/2008
Written by James Caldwell (PWTorch.com) on May 29, 2008 - 11:00:39 PM
TNA Impact Results - 05/29/2008
Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell of PWTorch.com
They opened with a recap video of last week when A.J. Styles took the big beating from Team Angle and Team 3D. Tonight, it's A.J.'s revenge. Tenay and West talked about Styles having a big announcement tonight concerning Karen Angle.
Impact Zone: Team 3D walked out to start things off. Booker T then walked out in street clothes to join Ray and Devon in the ring. Ray opened the promo by talking about them being bad guys because they do bad things to good people and they like it. Ray said Tomko is backstage preparing for the KOTM qualifying match and Angle is in Hollywood filming, so that leaves them three representing the Bad Guys. Ray posed the question of whether they're really the bad guys. Or, is it this person? A giant Styles poster then dropped from the ceiling. Ray said this is a Styles baseball card, which will soon become a collector's item because no one can find Styles right now.
Styles stopped beating around the bush and started ripping on Styles for being a wife-stealer, home-wrecker, and an adulterer. Ray then yanked down the blow-up poster and stomped on it. He claimed Styles slept with Karen while the kids were asleep in the other room. Tenay weakly interjected that can't be proved. Booker then took the mic and reminded everyone that he is royalty. Fans started a "Princess Booker" chant while Booker complained about the lack of star treatment he's received from TNA. He said he will make Samoa Joe bow at his feet. Devon tried to get in a promo, but he wasn't given two sentences before LAX interrupted.
Hector Guerrero led out Hernandez, Homicide, and Salinas before cutting a promo about always coming back from a beating. Hector said he talked to Jim Cornette about having a match at Slammiversary. He suggested they get it on now. Before anything could do down, though, Christian Cage interrupted with Rhino, who epitomized indifference with his hands in his pockets. Christian cut a promo on Booker on living off the past, including being a 5-time WCW champion. First WCW reference of the show at 8:14 CST. Christian said Booker is nothing around here until you are TNA World Hvt. champion. Considering Christian's only title victory was the NWA Title, I guess that makes him nothing as well.
[Q2]
After Christian talked, Samoa Joe's music interrupted. Joe opted to walk through the crowd and stand amongst the people to cut his promo. He said he's walking into the PPV as champion and walking out as champion. Booker got bored, so Joe told him to pay attention or else he'd break his fingers. Joe called him a punkass bitch, then he called for an all-out fight right now. Joe stormed the ring with the babyfaces, but the Bad Guys bailed from the ring and talked trash from ringside. The thing seemed to be done, but A.J. Styles suddenly appeared with a chair in hand and attacked the heels. They quickly backstage, though.
Backstage: Borash brought in Karen Angle to get Karen's opinion on what Styles is going to announce tonight. Karen said she has no idea.
[Commercial Break]
Announcers: Tenay and West were shown on camera talking about Styles getting a measure of payback in the previous segment. They showed Styles beating down Team 3D (well, kinda), but swinging and missing on Booker.
Backstage: Lauren brought in Ace Young with Sonjay Dutt, Val, and Lethal to talk about the wedding at Slammiversary. Ace just kept smiling while talking soothingly about providing the music at the wedding. Dutt was not happy with any of this scenario. He then said all the peace, love, and understanding goes out the window when they beat up Rock 'n Rave tonight. Dutt then turned his attention to Lethal about him moping around backstage the past few weeks. Lethal said he's just having pre-wedding jitters and he's a little nervous. Val asked what is there to be nervous about? Ace said everything will be fine and he has a surprise later on. They all tried to leave to find the surprise, but Awesome Kong yanked Lauren by the hair for Raisha to tell her another fan is getting beat up tonight.
1 -- LANCE HOYT & JIMMY RAVE (w/Christy Hemme) vs. SONJAY DUTT & JAY LETHAL (w/So Cal Val and Ace Young)
As if there weren't enough distraction in this match, Hermie Sadler randomly joined commentary. Sadler's first thought is that Slammiversary is shaping up to be one of TNA's biggest ever PPVs. He's obviously been listening to Don West. Babyfaces lost control when Dutt and Lethal had a miscommunication at 1:00. Hoyt then slammed Dutt with an overhead release suplex. Lethal took the hot tag at 2:00 and cleaned house. After Christy tripped Lethal from the outside, Ace returned the favor by tripping Hoyt from the outside. Lethal then rolled up Rave for the pin and the win.
WINNERS: Lethal & Dutt in 3:00.
[Q3]
[Commercial Break]
After the break, Lethal, Dutt, and Val were still in the ring with Ace. Lethal called out Dutt on something that's been bothering him. He pulled the old switcheroo and said he just wants to know if Dutt will be his best man. Dutt breathed a sigh of relief that Lethal wasn't calling him out on trying to get with Val, and accepted the best-man offer.
Ace Young then revealed his surprise: a new music video featuring Val and Lethal in a bedroom working it out. Plenty of close-up shots of Val in lingerie on top of Lethal. Second-half of the video featured Lethal in action in the ring with Val cheering him on. After the video aired, they showed everyone leaving the ring.
Backstage: Lauren cut a promo on Angelina Love and Velvet Sky giving women a bad name. Angelina said Lauren always disrespects them, so they're giving her the brown paper bag treatment. Angelina shoved a bag over her head and Lauren ran off. Angelina said don't hate on them, only hate the game. She said she feels like throwing up just thinking about being in the ring with Roxxi later tonight. Velvet said you can look, but you can't touch.
[Commercial Break]
[Q4]
2 -- ANGELINA LOVE (w/Velvet Sky) vs. ROXXI LEVEAUX
Roxxi stormed the ring and attacked Angelina, which didn't generate as big of a pop as it would have two weeks ago right after the haircut at the PPV. Roxxi continued to choke and beat up Angelina before she played cat-and-mouse with Velvet that led to Angelina landing a clothesline back in the ring. Roxxi made a comeback at 3:00 with forearm blows before landing a big boot for a nearfall. She then knocked Velvet off the apron and rolled up Angelina for another two count. Velvet then sprayed Roxxi in the face with hairspray allowing Angelina to drop her with a single-arm DDT for the pin and the win.
Afterward, Velvet and Angelina put the brown bag over Roxxi's head and began stomping on her. ODB and Gail Kim then showed up on the stage. Gail was on crutches, so ODB grabbed one of the crutches and stormed the ring to clear out the heels.
WINNER: Angelina in 4:00. (3/4*)
Backstage: Jim Cornette was suddenly on the show. He quietly asked Jeremy Borash to explain why he let Awesome Kong beat up a fan. Borash was ready to explain himself, but Cornette cut him off and screamed and yelled and ranted and raved about the idiocy of the decision. Borash calmed him down and pulled out the magical TV ratings that Kong's segment was the highest-rated of the show, according to Borash. Cornette paused and agreed with Borash it must be because fans like violence. He then had an awkward moment with Borash talking pig latin about continuing the program as long the folks upstairs don't get wind of the deal.
Booker T then stormed into the office with Team 3D. He said he wants to know why his locker room smells like rats have pissed in it for a week. Cornette explained that if it's good enough for everyone else, then it's good enough for him. He said he doesn't care, so he can dress in his car for all he cares. Booker said he's dressing right here in Cornette's office whether he likes it or not. Ray told Booker to calm down, then Ray adjusted Cornette's suit lapels. Cornette said he has a TV show to run, so when he comes back, they better be all gone.
[Commercial Break]
Video package: More on Eric Young searching for Elvis in Memphis. Young walked into the legendary Sun Studio where Elvis got his start. He started banging on the drums before working the piano. Young didn't find Elvis, so he decided to track down Elvis at Graceland.
[Q5 -- second hour]
Jim Cornette was in the ring to hype the Slammiversary PPV. He talked up King of the Mountain and added A.J. Styles vs. Kurt Angle for the PPV. Tag Title match is LAX vs. Team 3D. Cornette then addressed Booker and Team 3D, who he said better not be in his office when he gets back to his office.
Kevin Nash's music interrupted and Nash strolled out to the ring in street clothes. After some quick editing, Nash was in the ring to ask Cornette what he's going to do if Booker and Team 3D are still in his office. Nash said he knows TNA's crack security couldn't secure a Jonas Brothers concert crowd, much less secure the premises here. He pointed out that Matt Morgan isn't here tonight, then Cornette asked how he fits into this mess. Nash said it's not what he wants, but what Cornette wants. Cornette wasn't convinced.
Nash said he'll go backstage and take care of the three men in exchange for Cornette adding him to KOTM as ringside enforcer. Cornette wanted to know why Nash wants to be in the match so badly. Nash said the people should have to pay to hear that answer. Cornette thought it over and said there's a deal. After Cornette was forced to ask nicely, Nash closed the deal with a handshake.
Video package: More Abyss in the padded room. Doctors say he can go home in ten days. He's passed every test and exam. Now, he's cured. No more pain. No more agony. No more blood. No more stunt bump gimmick matches?! Well, he didn't go that far. Abyss said he can live in society now.
Impact Zone: Tenay and West were trying to talk about the KOTM qualifying matches for tonight, but Awesome Kong's music interrupted. Borash led out Kong and Raisha with a clipboard in hand.
[Commercial Break]
Back from break, they showed clips of random women jumping up and down trying to get picked for the beating. A lady from Kentucky signed the waiver to get beat up.
3 -- AWESOME KONG (w/Raisha Saeed) vs. GIRL FROM KY
Kentucky girl tried to avoid Kong's offense, but Kong eventually grappled her and smashed her into the corner. She tried to bail to the outside, but Kong followed her to the outside and landed forearm smashes to the back of the head. Kong took her back into the ring and played around before landing the Awesome Bomb for a pin and the win.
WINNER: Kong in 2:00.
Backstage: Borash was with Team 3D and Booker in Cornette's office. Nash then strolled in and Booker said they're having a little meeting right now. He told them it would be easier on everyone if they just hit the bricks. Devon laughed at Nash and asked what Nash could possibly do to eradicate them from Cornette's office. Nash said he's got Louisville in his back pocket. They didn't take him seriously, then Nash pulled out a baseball bat and cleared off the heels.
Video package: Don West told us to watch a video package on the history of the Rhino vs. Storm feud. Do we have to? Suddenly, the video ended (thank goodness) and they cut backstage where Rhino and Storm were already brawling. Miss Jackie got involved, then TNA's crack security failed to restore order while they cut to break.
[Q6]
[Commercial Break]
4 -- JAMES STORM (w/Miss Jacqueline) vs. RHINO -- King of the Mountain qualifying match
They returned from break with a brawl in the Impact Zone. Tenay and West talked about their history feuding, including the Elevation X deal and battles over alcohol. Jacqueline became involved to give Storm the advantage. The action finally entered the ring to officially start the match. They went to break after the customary four minutes of action with Storm still in control.
[Commercial Break]
They returned from break with Rhino making his comeback. He tried the Gore, but Storm side-stepped him and sidekicked him. Rhino rolled to the outside and collapsed like a beached whale. Jackie and Storm moved the dead weight back into the ring and Storm covered him for a two count. Never good when the announcers beat it over the viewer's heads that the babyface is dead weight. Storm wanted Rhino for another superkick, but Rhino ducked and nailed the Gore for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Rhino in 6:00 (bell-to-bell) and 9:00 in-ring plus pre-match fighting.
Video package: They showed a video on the gradual dissolving of the Christian and Tomko relationship. They were a couple, then formed a three-way with A.J. Styles. Kurt Angle became involved to screw up the plutonic relationship that seemed destined to fulfill the emotional needs of all involved. And now Angle is with Tomko, Christian is with Rhino, and Styles is with the crazy lady, Karen.
Backstage: They showed Tomko half-assing some chest presses while Borash interviewed him about A.J. Styles. Tomko screamed at Borash that it's all about him now. He said he's going to wear Christian's blood tonight because he's going to KOTM to become World champion. Tomko suddenly looked into the camera and shouted, "Christian, you're dead." Awkward pause, then cut to break.
[Q7]
[Commercial Break]
5 -- TOMKO vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE -- King of the Mountain qualifying match
Before Christian could finish his pre-match posing for the crowd, Tomko jumped him from behind to start the match. Tomko perched Christian up top, then he gave him a big boot that knocked Christian to the floor. Cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
They returned with Tomko cutting off Christian's comeback attempt. Tenay and West plugged the King of the Mountain history of the champion never leaving the match with the belt. Tomko tried to take Christian up top for a power move, but Christian countered with a Tornado DDT.
[Q8]
Both men recovered on the mat before Christian fired off hard chops to the chest. Christian choked Tomko across the middle rope, then he landed a reverse DDT. Christian went up top at 8:00 for a frog splash, but Tomko moved. Tomko started landing hard right hands in the corner, but Christian shoved him to the mat and quickly hopped up top for the frog splash. He made a cover for a nearfall. Suddenly, Tomko recovered and nailed the TKO for a nearfall. West increasingly annoying with the sullen "oh, it's over, one...two...OH MY GOSH HE KICKED OUT!" Tomko tried another power move, but Christian nailed the Unprettier for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Christian in 11:00.
Backstage: Borash was with Styles and Karen. Styles was sporting sunglasses to cover his beaten-up face. Styles ripped off the shades and told Borash to wait for what he has to say. Styles told Karen to head to the ring ahead of time. ... They cut elsewhere backstage where Kurt Angle was shown walking. What a shock, it was a swerve!
[Commercial Break]
Impact Zone: Karen Angle walked out for the show-closing segment. Tenay said Karen has no idea what they just saw. I don't think the commercials were that bad. Styles's music hit, but no sign of Styles. They cut backstage where Kurt was beating the crap out of Styles. Angle finally beat down Styles enough to where he marched out to the ring to confront Karen. Angle ripped the mic from Karen and said he's not going to hurt her. He screamed at her to admit she ruined their family acting like a lowly prostitute with Styles. Karen had enough and slapped Kurt. Before Kurt could do anything in retaliation, Styles stormed the ring and jumped him. Styles held control until the Bad Guys stormed the ring and tackled Styles.
Angle put Styles in the anklelock while Brother Ray taunted Karen. Christian Cage tried to make the save for Styles, but the heels beat him down for good measure. Booker then gave Christian a crescent kick before the heels turned their attention to Styles. More beating on Styles before Christian took the axe kick from Booker. Tenay called it another tasteless and revolting display from Angle, Booker, Tomko, and Team 3D. NWO...er...Bad Guys stood tall in the ring to close the show. Fine closing segment with the heels doing everything they can to get Joe Bob viewer's blood boiling. The key is getting fans to tune in each week to see how Styles, and now Christian, respond to make sure the heels get their comeuppance.
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