Weekly Rundown: Weak Week

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Feel free to do your own rundown via the comment section in the future (writing little notes as you watch the shows could be very engaging and fun – give it a try and tell us via the comment section what you wound up with)

A reminder: This blog reflects MY views, and my views alone. It is by no means objective. If you disagree – which is encouraged – feel free to voice your opinion (in a civil manner) in the comments section. Let's get some healthy debates going. Also, I am always open to constructive criticism of the writing format, phrasing, etc.

Hello everyone and welcome back to the Wrestling News World Weekly Rundown. This is your feature where you can read my thoughts of the week that was in professional wrestling – most specifically WWE (as these will be a lot longer, and more negative if I wrote up… or at all watched Impact Wrestling). So let's get to the action with the Constants:

+ Daniel Bryan, Drew McIntyre, CM Punk, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler, Sheamus and Wade Barrett are the future of WWE – they are all total packages, both in the ring and on the mic.

+ Kane's gimmick; as you've probably noticed, every promo the resurrected Kane has given so far has been given a correlating psychological analysis of human nature by me. Glenn Jacobs is a really intelligent person, and I am sure those correlations are no accident.

+ Brodus Clay's character, when they don't just waste time with it.

NEW + Big Show's shuffle side kicks.

+ AJ, forever and always. This also leads nicely into:

- Matt "The Choice" Andrews. It's a shame, really. I could like Matt… If only he'd leave AJ alone.

- Ted DiBiase's theme. He's face for God's sake!

- Stereotypical foreigner gimmicks. They are distasteful and dated.

- The way announcing currently is in the WWE. That means random jabs at Cole and Booker T are implied when not said outright (but this is not limited to Cole and Booker – it's the whole way announcing is handled. For example, King's treatment of the divas is borderline sexual harassment – and he's a face!).

- Aksana's cliché role that doesn't seem to be really going anywhere.

- "The Royal Rumble winner gets to main event Wrestlemania" is a fallacy, and has been this way for several years now. For the past 5 or so years, the winner of the Rumble has rarely actually main evented 'Mania. See the Jan 21st Rundown for a detailed look at the how many winners in the past seven years main evented 'Mania (hint: 1).

- the way Divas are handled. Unless I state otherwise for a particular week know that I am very much displeased with the Divas' division in the WWE.

NEW - The Great Khali. 'nuff said

? Drew McIntyre's storyline. This will likely change very soon when/if we see where it goes.

And with that out of the way, let's get to this week's Posits!

+ The RAW opening segment was intriguing if nothing else. Sure, it was long, but I'm excited about Taker-HHH III just for the story the match will tell. It has the possibility of being one of the best stories ever told through a match.

+ Bryan Entered 2nd in the opener, as befitting a World Champion. Also – a fan at ringside yelled "Jay Lethal's girl!" at AJ, which was funny. He probably meant "Guy Landau's girl", but I'll let it slide.

+ Cole seems to be backing off of his recent coming around to Bryan. That is very reassuring.

+ Bryan vs. Show was great, though it should have been the main event, and given more time

+ The Elimination Chamber promo video. It made me really excited… Until I saw Khali in it…

+ Jericho trolled all of us. Brilliant promo, if a bit disappointing in regards to the riddle of the encrypted videos. Punk's response to it, however… THAT was pure genius. This is obviously booked by both Punk and Jericho, and will be as much of a quality feud as Jericho vs. Michaels.

+ HBK is back next week! Will set up HHH vs. 'Taker nicely with the probable special guest referee stipulation…

+ Kofi is really improving his work rate lately. He seems to be developing crisper psychology and actually seems to be calling some of his spots now. Good for him! Now if only he'd stop with the double chop in his comeback sequence…

+ Oh, how I missed Jericho's "ask him!"s.

+ Sheamus and Barrett in the opening segment. And if history is any indication, Barrett will win the Elimination Chamber match and go on to continue what he started with Sheamus here. He was the only one to directly combat Sheamus.

+ Mahal is really improving – he made a match with Khali watchable! Granted, it was short – thankfully – but what I saw could have remained entertaining 5 minutes in.

+ Tamina is Beth's Elimination Chamber feud before Kharma… Just why aren't they making any mention of Kharma? She appeared in the Rumble, after all.

+ All the different videos for Rock and Cena are absolutely amazing.

+ The Chamber tag match from SD! was great, and Sheamus' subtle mannerisms were spot on. The end spot where he doesn't know what is going on behind him, looks, and then goes back to Barrett was timed perfectly. It's a little, nitpicky thing, but such things are what makes Wrestling great.

+ Cole still doesn't like Bryan, and the subtleties of Bryan's actions have been brilliant. Notice he only came to AJ's aid when Cole started talking trash about him.

Now - no more Mr. Nice Guy (Landau). It's time fore the Negs!

- Bryan vs. Big Show from RAW isn't an opener, it's a main event on almost any given night - Or at least further up the card than the tag match with the other 4 participants as Bryan is the world champion, in a one on one match. Speaking of said tag match, Khali pinning Rhodes is a crying shame.

-  How many matches were there on RAW? Not enough, I assure you. On a quick count I think 4, one of which was a squash. So much they could've done to fill the gap. Where was Swagger – you know, the man holding the second most prestigious title in RAW?

- R-Truth's fall… Ouch. It looked like it could easily cause a concussion. Glad it didn't though.

- Why is Ziggler taking all the falls lately?! First on  He's really dropping down the card it seems and I for one do not like it one bit.

- So much of the crowd reactions on SD! sounded canned…

- The Vegan Vicar gimmick seems to be staying, unfortunately. And while he has his subtleties, he also has very obviously cowardly actions, and his character should not be like that.

- Bryan looked too weak in the match with Orton. The finish was the right way to go (as in – the DQ) but Bryan was never really in control.

- Where were the Funkasaurus and Drew McIntyre?! (the latter being more important)

And now all that's left is the Queschies:

? I have no queschies for this week, which in itself is quite a quarry… But that means that I do have a queschie - regarding not having queschies (half of you probably gave up by now… Can't say I blame you). Well, in that case I DO have a queschie, but that makes the whole queschie about not having queschies redundant as I do have a queschie. But that means I don't have a queschie, which re-raises said queschie, and repeat. That logical loop was a clever cover-up to not having anything to write in this part of the blog.

This was a strange week. While it had a lot of developments, it seems like nothing has really happened. Orton vs. Bryan was a big let down in terms of work quality and booking, I have to say, and the RAW main event was decent at best as well. The week was pretty blah as far as wrestling is concerned, but it was mostly a set up week for RAW next week and the Chamber the following week. Let's hope next week will show an upward trend. This week was really light on wrestling, and let's hope that does not carry out into next week.

  • sforester

    Bwahaha very nicely done. I find it almost questionable that there were no queschies, but it speaks that WWE has presented their items clearly. As usual, I add a couple points that weren't hit already

    I'd actually switch R-Truth's spot to a + for the simple reason that he DIDN'T injure himself on it and was willing to take the risk for the sake of the match.

    The Miz-Trips confrontation backstage (as well as Miz not even attempting to protect R-Truth) gets a big fat -. Miz knows that not trying to protect his opponent was on him…but how many times over the years has Trips failed to protect his opponent but never got a talking-to?

    While Natalya's farting will always get a big fat – from me, Hornswoggle's reaction gets a + from me. I hate the farting gimmick as well as seeing the little leprechaun on my TV, but for some reason the two interacting was actually worthy of a chuckle.

    Daniel Bryan interrupting Teddy's little romp attempt with Aksana gets a +. If it's possible, he looked more disgusted with Teddy/Aksana than Teddy having a BBQ! Daniel Bryan vs. Orton at Wrestlemania. I'm calling it.

    Alicia Fox being completely squashed: That is a giant + for me. I didn't like her as Edge's "wedding planner", I didn't like her with DJ Gabriel, and I don't like her now.

  • Patrick_Peralta

    Quick thoughts

    1: Taker-HHH III . I've said enough of this on other blogs.. bottom line I don't like it and don't care end of story.

    2: Bryan Entered 2nd in the opener he continues to get better every week I love it.

    3: Cole the reason I watch WWE with the sound off. I only turn it on when Bryan does his promos.
    on a side note glad to read that Cole is NOT cheering for Byran. I just want Cole off TV. one day my Prayers will be answered.

    4: Bryan vs. Big Show both have done well in their matches.

    5: Khali, I don't worry about Khali and if he is in the EC match. despite Vince saying he doesn't care. about TNA. he does care because That is the reason Khali is back. because TNA is in india. besides Big Show could allways give Khali his WMD move and get rid of him early.

    As for Cody Hell someone has to take the pin in the match on the heel side he can recover from it.

    6: R-Truth’s fal glad to hear he is doing well and not injuryed. as for Miz sucks to be him from what I ready many people besides HHH were not happy with him. backstage.

    7: Ziggler how they mighty has fallen.

    8: The Vegan Vicar gimmick, Bryan is proud to be one and that's fine for him.. it's the same with Punk and his Straight Edge gimmick based on his real life. both are good for anyone to fallow in their life if they wish.

    9: I agree Bryan does need solid wins more then the DQ and Count out he has been getting. other then pining a unconscious Big Show to win the World title, Kofi is the only person he has pined in a match and it was non title.

    I'm hoping we see him get more solid wins once he is done with Big Show and Mark Henry.

    10: the Bryan/ Orton match was good. but they really need to stop giving Bryan DQ wins. Bryan could beat Orton.

    11: Drew Mcyintre A shame they cut out his attack on Brodus Clay, from Smackdown this could be a good feud for him to start getting back on track and turn things around for him.

    • ChromeyDaniels

      I really don’t understand why Cole is hated so much? I think he’s entertaining, his heel persona is great I love to watch it! If you all hate him as much you all say you do then, he got you in the palm of his hand and that’s why VKM keeps him around.

      • cisumt

        Cole is really starting to get more tolerable. He saved the segment with AJ and I do like the fact that he is still against Daniel Bryan. The one thing that annoys me most is Booker trying to stick up for Bryan basically just to spite Cole. He has no logic to stand up for the heel and it’s like he does it just so he can argue with Cole.  I firmly believe that commentary would be ten times more entertaining if Booker was replaced with someone like Matt Striker, William Regal, or even Mick Foley. I can live with Cole because he’s supposed to be hated and annoying but Booker just isn’t cut out for commentating.

        • Guy Landau

          Booker is really annoying me more than Cole these days, I just try not to speak about announcing too much as that's in a really bad shape regardless.

    • Patrick_Peralta

      William Regal would be better at the announce table then Booker, if only because he knows how good Bryan really is since he trained him and can counter Cole when he is Bashing Bryan in a entertaining manner.

      • AceV

        Booker and cole are both great. I laugh through out the whole show when cole is bickering with anyone. He is really a good commentator.

        It’s funny because people dont hate him because he’s a “bad” commentator, people hate him because he is a “heel” commentator. And that just means he’s doing a helluva job!!!

  • Professor Rick Craig

    Great job, Guy. Can't say that I disagree with anything you've written. Now we need your opinions of Impact TV to bring this column full circle.