Would Dana White Bring Brock Lesnar Back To UFC?

Dave Bautista is trying to debut at an age by which the vast majority of mixed martial artists have retired. I expect his cardio to be abysmal – and what does he weigh these days? How much is he having to cut to get down to 266? If you ask most people about whether Dave is a legit fighter then the only fight they’ll remember is Booker T giving him a whooping after Dave tried to look like the tough guy.

It reminds me of everyone thinking Kimbo Slice was a tough guy and nobody listening to Dana White when he said the guy wasn’t a mixed martial artist and he was ‘just the toughest guy at the barbecue’ and he was meant to fight an aged and decrepit Ken Shamrock and when he pulled out Kimbo refused to fight Frank Shamrock no matter how much money was on the table because he didn’t want to be embarrassed. In the end they brought in Seth Petruzelli to essentially ‘job’ to Kimbo – Peteuzelli is not an outstanding fighter and does not specialise in stand-up so knew his best chance was to take it to the ground because Kimbo was inexperienced with things like BJJ. Petruzelli claims he was instructed by the promoters to keep it standing – because the promoters were heavily invested into building Kimbo. Anyway, Petruzelli wins the fight in 14 seconds because Kimbo couldn’t take a punch. Dana White brings him to the UFC where he is then completely dominated by Roy Nelson, who was in similar shape to Dusty Rhodes but still had much better cardio than Kimbo. Most of these guys that have too much muscle for their frame have terrible cardio and terrible technique. They put their full weight behind every punch and burn out really quickly. They need to learn to strike from people like Nick Diaz who knows how to punch without using up too much energy.

The reason I mention this is because the whole thing with Dave is unfolding in a similar way – with his advertised opponent pulling out – the fight got lots of casual MMA fans interested because somehow they thought he was facing Rashad Evans – a top-5 LIGHT-Heavyweight who is under UFC contract so would never fight for other organisations – UFC fighters just fight for the UFC. The reason for the confusion? The promoters brought in a guy with a very similar name, Rashid Evans, however his credentials are far from similar. Evans has pulled out and I’m guessing Dave is in panic mode and is no-doubt insisting he’s served up a weaker opponent. Brock Leanar is a freak because he’s got a huge muscular frame yet he has good cardio and solid technique.

One fight I’d like to see is Dave Bautista vs Bobby Lashley. Lashley is nowhere near the fighter than Brock is (I’m not a Brock fan btw) but I still think Lashley would get a quick double-leg takedown and then ground and pound Dave until he tapped out. I don’t even think that the referee would stop it and declare a TKO – I think that Dave would cry like a girl and submit.

More evidence that big guys can’t compete at the top of MMA? Wrestler Nathan Jones; worlds strongest man Mariusz Pudzianowski (sorry, not Mark Henry); Sapp by name, Sap by nature – Bob Sapp – no better example as someone who looks as tough as they come but isn’t. As for really big guys – ever seen Akebono vs Royce Gracie or Manny Yarborough vs Keith Hackney?

Big guys just don’t do well in MMA typically. They can have a moderate degree of success and against the right opponent they can look truly devastating – but against elite opposition they don’t do too well and at his age Dave Bautista just doesn’t have enough time to learn to be a truly rounded fighter and won’t have the speed, skills or stamina to last. To quote a phrase that used to be common in WWE, he doesn’t have the testicular fortification – because at his age and size (and due to substances that may have assisted in getting him to his size) his testosterone levels will be low – and if you know anything about biology that’s not a good thing. Why do you think guys like Vince or Sylvester Stallone pump themselves full of HGH and testosterone boosters? They want to slow down the aging process. MMA is a young mans game and Dave isn’t a young man.

The perfect model nowadays is to wrestle competitively at school and college whilst also training in striking and a martial art such as BJJ and doing an athletic sport such as soccer, swimming, cycling of triathlon (American Football does not require great cardio, these other sports do). After college you have a degree to fall back on if it doesn’t work out but you’ve also had time to fully grow and also learn technique – hopefully have your BJJ brown belt and then is the time to get into MMA. Fight a variety of opponents that are skilled in different specialities as well as all-round fighters and build up a great record for two or three years and then audition for TUF. Show off your skills and personality so that you start to obtain name recognition. Fight MMA until you’re about 35 and then it’s time to retire before you start to decline and get into pro wrestling – by now you have great name recognition and have proven you can draw so you get into WWE developmental where they see that you have a good background in amateur wrestling and already know various hold and moves but you learn how to transition that into professional wrestling. Make your WWE debut and immediately get into the main event where you dominate for ten years – taking time off at least a couple of times a year to rest your body and film a movie. After the ten years are up and you’re 45 it’s time to stop wearing spandex and time to be a full time movie star – turning up in WWE no more often than once a year so that its still special. Oh, and you’ll need to find time to release the occassional music album, host your own chat show and endorse a kitchen gadget.

Unfortunately life doesn’t usually go exactly to plan – and I don’t think Dave’s idea of being an MMA fighter will go to plan. He wants to look the tough guy – but he isn’t one. So if he wants to play the tough guy then that limits him to pro wrestling or acting – leave MMA to guys who are legitimately tough. Now can you dig that Bautisuckaaaaa?