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WWE RAW Results (9/5/11) - Kevin Nash, You're Fired!

Written by Brooks Oglesby on Sep 5, 2011 - 11:22:00 PM

Kendra, who normally does this (much better than me), is out so I'll be covering Raw this week. I normally do NXT, so bear with me as I try to keep up with a much longer, much more entertaining show. Oh, and keep an eye out for my Raw blog sometime in the next day or so. If you want to read 2,000 words of me whining and making snide remarks, that is. With that said:

WWE Raw Results - 9/5/11

-There's a recap of Triple H discussing the controversy at SummerSlam. Kevin Nash comes out and cheats CM Punk out of a win over John Cena. Triple H confronts Kevin Nash about lying, but CM Punk interrupts them and calls both of them actors. Triple H makes CM Punk vs. Kevin Nash a match at Night of Champions. Punk continues to question Triple H's manhood, implying Stephanie has him whipped. Punk meets Triple H backstage and says that the match between Nash and Punk is off. Instead, Triple H will take on CM Punk at Night of Champions. At the contract signing on Smackdown, Nash comes to the ring and a brawl ensues. Nash and Punk go at it, and it ends when Nash shoves Triple H as well.

-The Raw Supershow starts from Columbus, Ohio with Cult of Personality. CM Punk makes his way to the ring to a very warm reception. There's a nice sign in the crowd with Punk's Best in the World logo and the fist holding a WWE Ice Cream bar (totally worth a mention). Punk's got a mic in hand as he gets into the ring and sits in the center. He says he has a nugget of information for everyone, although everyone already knows it. He says he is different. He doesn't have a filter from his brain to his mouth. He says he's the best wrestler in the world, but what makes him different is that he backs it up in the ring. That also makes him a target, which may be why R-Truth interfered and attacked him last week. He'd love to wrestle R-Truth, but he'd rather kick Kevin Nash in the face. He says that Nash is the status quo that Punk aims to destroy. He has the same music that he had in the 90s and same look that he had during the first Gulf War. He doesn't buy that there's any real animosity between Nash and Hunter, it's all acting. He says if there are any problems, Nash is welcome to come out and face Punk like a man.

-Punk waits for a few seconds, and the nWo music hits. Out comes Kevin Nash with another mic. He stands at the ramp and says that he doesn't listen to Punk. He does whatever he wants. He says last week, he wanted to stick Punk to the canvas, which he did. Punk says he has as many nicknames as he does excuses. He starts listing off Nash's many nicknames (Big Sexy, etc.). Nash says that every time he comes to the ring, Nash leaves Punk lying there, so HHH did Punk a favor. If the match was still on, Nash would've killed Punk. Punk says that the estrogen pills his character took in the Longest Yard must not have been props. He says the last time Nash was relevant was 1994, when Justin Bieber was born. Nash starts making his way to the ring as Punk welcomes him. Nash stops at ringside and smirks as Triple H's music hits.

-Out comes HHH in a suit. He stops by Nash, and Nash says that he's tired of Punk. He tells HHH to get rid of him. HHH shrugs him off and walks into the ring without saying a word. He says to Nash that normally he would get rid of Punk and forgive Nash for putting hands on him, but this week is special. He found the truth this week. He says the Staples Center gave him a call and found some security footage. He says Nash went into his office at the same time he got the text at SummerSlam. He says that Nash knows the person who sent the text was Nash to himself. Nash gets into the ring and says "Yeah, you're right!" He says he made WWE cool and exciting again. He says the WWE Universe is not big enough for he and Punk, and one of them has to go. HHH says he doesn't have a problem with that, but he has a problem with Nash. He doesn't like Punk, but Punk has never lied to him. Nash has done nothing but lie to him. If he wants him to get rid of somebody, he'll be happy to. Nash interrupts him and asks angrily if HHH is really going to pick Punk over his friend of 20 years. He asks if this is about the push Nash gave HHH on Smackdown. Nash says he got caught up in the moment, that's all. Nash asks what HHH is going to do about it if Nash puts his hands on him again. HHH levels Nash with a punch to the face. HHH says that Nash is fired, and walks out of the ring. Nash sits in disbelief as Punk laughs and points at him. The crowd chants "Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye!" as Punk says "Best of luck in your future endeavors."

-Commercial

-There's a recap of the Divas reacting to a WWE.com story that said Natalya and Beth Phoenix may be saving the division.

-Nash is walking with John Laurinaitis to a car backstage. They both get into the back seat and drive off.

-Evan Bourne's music hits, and it's a mashup of his music and Kofi's. Both men come out and do Kofi's pyro. They're looking very energetic and so is the crowd. Jinder Mahal and The Great Khali make their way to the ring next.

Match #1: Air Boom vs. Jinder Mahal & The Great Khali

-Bourne and Mahal start out in the ring. Jinder takes control with some knees to the ribs, and whips Bourne, but Bourne hits a quick hurricanrana. Bourne hits the ropes again, only to run into a high knee from Mahal. Jinder brings Bourne into the corner and tags Khali, who takes control with a clothesline. Khali throws Bourne back into the heel corner and stomps away at Bourne. He slaps Bourne hard on the chest and tags in Jinder. Jinder hits a scoop slam and tries to drop a knee on Bourne, but Bourne rolls away. Jinder keeps control by following him and dropping another knee before he can get up. Bourne hits a kick to Jinder and gets a hot tag to Kofi, who hits a top rope clothesline and gets set up for his boom drop. He hits the rope, but Khali drops the top rope, sending Kofi tumbling to the outside. Khali throws Kofi back into the ring, and Jinder grabs Kofi from behind, holding his arms behind his back. He walks him to Khali, who attempts a brain chop, but Kofi ducks and Khali brains Jinder instead. Kofi kicks Khali off the apron and tags in Bourne, who hits his shooting star press for the victory.

Winners: Air Boom

-Alberto Del Rio's car pulls up, and Ricardo Rodriguez gets out of the passenger seat with the belt. He walks around the car and gets the door for Alberto, who is handed the belt. They both walk off camera with smiles on their faces.

-Kelly Kelly makes her way to ringside, as she'll be providing commentary for Eve vs. Beth Phoenix, a #1 Contender's Match for the Divas Championship.

-Commercial

-Eve is in the ring as we return from commercial break. Beth Phoenix makes her way to the ring next, accompanied by Natalya. Natalya joins the commentary booth, on the side opposite Kelly.

Match #2: Eve vs. Beth Phoenix - #1 Contender's Match

-They lock up and Beth pushes Eve down. Eve gets up and hits the ropes, but Beth hits a shoulder block, knocking her down again. Eve gets up and hits a knee to the gut, but Beth grabs Eve and throws her shoulder into the corner. Beth gets out of the ring and slams Kelly's arm against the ring post. Beth gets back into the ring, but Eve gets up and hits a bicycle kick and a clothesline. Eve hits a somersault for a pin attempt as Natalya and Kelly argue over the article on WWE.com. Eve goes for a springboard kick, but Beth ducks and hits the glam slam for the win.

Winner: Beth Phoenix

-Kelly goes to check on Eve, but gets blindsided by Natalya. Natalya then gets into the ring, taunting Eve and Kelly, who are lying outside the ring. Beth and Natalya high-five as the match at Night of Champions, Beth vs. Kelly, is made official.

-Commercial

-Drew McIntyre is backstage, talking to Christian. Drew says he understands Christian's plight, and that he, like himself, deserves another chance at the championship. Alberto Del Rio walks up and asks for a moment with Christian. Christian asks if this is about Del Rio wanting him to take out Cena tonight so Del Rio won't have to. Del Rio stops him and just says to remember what John Cena did to him just 24 hours before his cage match. If it weren't for John Cena, both of them would be champions. Del Rio walks off as we get a preview for Triple H's upcoming movie, Inside Out.

-Commercial

-R-Truth comes to the ring with a mic. He says that just when he thought he'd heard it all, CM Punk calls himself "different." R-Truth has been speaking the truth his whole life. The real truth, unlike CM Punk's truth. He says he guesses he needs to be a good R-Truth like CM Punk and just enjoy the show like the rest of the little Jimmies in the audience. The Miz's music hits and out he comes. Miz said he had an epiphany. He realizes that there is a conspiracy in the WWE. He knows that HHH is in way over his head as COO, worrying about his friends getting on the show as opposed to the two best talents on the roster. Miz says he'll do his job for him: At Night of Champions, Miz & R-Truth will face Air Boom. Miz then makes fun of the WWE Universe for naming the champions Air Boom. Truth says he had an epiphany as well: CM Punk is about to get got. Cult of Personality hits and CM Punk makes his way to the ring.

-Commercial

Match #3: R-Truth vs. CM Punk

-The CM Punk chants are loud as they lock up. CM Punk wrenches the arm and kicks Truth repeatedly in the thigh. Punk hits a snapmare and kicks Truth in the back. Punk stomps on Truth's gut as Miz watches from ringside. Punk applies a side headlock, keeping Truth grounded. Truth gets to his feet and pushes Punk into the corner. The referee breaks them up and Truth applies a side headlock of his own. Punk gets up and hits a dropkick on Truth, who gets knocked out of the ring. Miz consoles Truth on the outside, but Punk hits a suicide dive to Truth. He tosses Truth back into the ring as he and Miz exchange glances. Truth takes control when Punk gets back into the ring with a number of stomps. Truth hits a snapmare and applies a chinlock. Truth tosses Punk to the outside and distracts the referee while Miz hits a chop block on Punk. Truth gets out of the ring and tosses Punk back in. He gets a two-count. Truth focuses on Punk's quad, stomping it and slamming it against the mat. Truth gets out of the ring briefly to talk with Miz, and when he gets back into the ring, CM Punk attempts a small package and a backslide pin, both getting near-falls. Truth takes control, applying a half crab on Punk. Truth gets up and slams Punk's knee to the mat. Truth picks Punk up and hits a scoop slam. Truth goes to the top rope, but Punk punches Truth and hits some Flair chops. He gets to the top rope himself and hits a sky high superplex on Truth. Both men are down as the referee starts the 10-count. Both men get up at the same time and Punk starts hitting his signature kicks. A single leg dropkick sends Truth to the corner, and Punk hits his knee attack in the corner. Punk goes to the apron and hits his springboard clothesline, then signals that it's time to end the match. Punk gets Truth on his shoulders, but R-Truth wriggles out and hits a gordbuster on Punk for a very close two count. Truth attempts a scissors kick but Punk stands up too early. Punk kicks Truth in the cut and hits the ropes, but Miz grabs Punk's leg. The referee catches it and ejects Miz from ringside. Truth tries to blindside Punk from behind, but Punk pushes him away and gets him up for the Go To Sleep. Punk hits it and gets the three-count.

Winner: CM Punk

-Triple H's music hits and he walks down to the ring. Punk stops him and grabs a mic. He says he doesn't buy HHH punching Nash. They're still best friends. HHH says that he doesn't care what Punk believes; Nash is gone. He says if Punk wants change, he's got it. HHH has changed the match at Night of Champions. Punk made this match personal, so HHH changed the match to a no disqualification match. He says Punk had better hope that HHH gets all of his anger out during the match, because he might fire Punk after. HHH walks away, but Punk stops him. Punk says that he isn't afraid of HHH. He'll accept the stipulation if HHH accepts his: If Punk wins, HHH must resign as COO of WWE. HHH accepts and walks up the ramp. Punk poses on the top turnbuckle as the crowd pops.

-Wade Barrett is backstage talking to Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks. Hawkins is talking up Barrett, and saying that he and Reks have something good. Alberto Del Rio comes up and starts talking to Wade about Cena. Wade stops him and says that he's been embarrassing Cena since before Del Rio set foot in the WWE. If Del Rio doesn't believe him, he says to just wait until he sees what he'll do tonight.

-Commercial

-A promo for the upcoming WWE Network airs. It is announced to be coming in 2012.

-Michael Cole and Jim Ross are the only ones at the commentary table as we get a recap of David Otunga confronting Jerry Lawler at the table last week for his remarks about his team with Michael McGillicutty being bland and boring.

-OtungaCutty are already in the ring, and Lawler makes his way to the ramp with a mic. He says he didn't say that they aren't good athletes, but he's seen cadavers with more personality. His partner on the other hand, is bursting with personality. His partner is Long Island Iced Z, Zack Ryder. We get clips of Z! True Long Island Story as I mark out hard. Ryder comes out with his flip camera and fist bumps Lawler on his way to the ring.

Match #4: Jerry "The King" Lawler & Zack Ryder vs. David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty

-Ryder and Michael start out in the ring. Michael takes control with a clothesline and tags in Otunga. He throws Ryder in the corner and hits his corner clothesline, followed by Otunga's corner splash. Otunga applies a front headlock as Ryder crawls toward Lawler. Otunga hits a cheap shot on Lawler, but walks into a flapjack from Ryder. Ryder gets a hot tag to Lawler who levels Otunga with a number of clotheslines and a dropkick. He gets a pin attempt, but Michael breaks up the pin. Lawler knocks Michael out of the ring and hits his second-rope fist drop on Otunga. He goes for the pin, but stops when he sees Ryder begging for a tag. Ryder gets tagged in and hits the Rough Ryder on Otunga for the three-count.

Winner: Jerry Lawler & Zack Ryder

-Alberto Del Rio is now talking to Dolph Ziggler backstage. He says there were rumors about Vickie Guerrero's allegiance going around after Ziggler lost to Randy Orton. Dolph says that he was here stealing the show last week while Del Rio was nowhere to be found. Del Rio says that he doesn't think Vickie is looking at Jack Swagger because she wants a new client. She wants someone that will fight for her, but he says that's none of his business and walks off.

-Commercial

-Randy Orton makes his way to the ring to a nice pop. Heath Slater comes out to what may be new music, southern rock.

Match #5: Randy Orton vs. Heath Slater

-Orton takes Slater down with a number of European uppercuts. He starts his signature stomps to Slater's head, arms, and legs, and finishes with a jumping knee to Slater's head. He pushes Slater into the corner, and the referee breaks it up. Slater gets a thumb to the eye behind the referee's back and hits an enzuigiri for a two-count. Slater hits a double A spinebuster for another two-count. Slater then applies a chinlock as Orton slowly gets to his feet. Orton gets out and tosses Slater into the corner. He comes out and Orton hits two clotheslines followed by a powerslam. The crowd is getting fired up with Orton as he hits his rope-assisted DDT. He sets up for the RKO and hits it as soon as Slater gets to his feet. That gets Orton the win.

Winner: Randy Orton

-Zack Ryder is talking to Cena backstage and jumping around, yelling about how he got a win on Raw, and they're filming his show right now. He calls Cena a broski and puts his glasses onto Cena. Cena takes them off, calms him down, and says "Really, sunglasses indoors?" He smirks at the camera and walks off while Ryder starts talking to the cameras filming his show.

-Commercial

-John Cena makes his way to the ring, stopping for a moment at the ramp to wish all of us in TV Land a happy Labor Day. We are reminded of Del Rio's assault on Cena two weeks ago. He says that's an interesting clip, because every week, he's been demanding that Del Rio come to the ring, but Del Rio keeps ducking him. He says he knows that Ricardo's going to come out and Del Rio will come out in a luxury car and give Cena an excuse as to why they can't fight right now.

-Ricardo indeed comes out and introduces Del Rio. Del Rio comes out in an Audi and says that Cena doesn't understand. He's trying to give Cena a fighting chance. Rey Mysterio is gone for a long time because of him. He wants Cena to have a fighting chance at Night of Champions, because that's the kind of champion he is. Last week, he says he didn't show up because he's trying to protect Cena. He says he's staying on the ramp while Cena's in the ring to protect him. He'll be staying on the ramp, but he can't say the same for his amigos.

-Wade Barrett, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, and Christian come out and start beating Cena down. Alex Riley, Sheamus, and John Morrison come out to make it a fair fight. The faces clear the ring as Teddy Long's music hits. He says that Triple H gave him the authority to intervene when necessary, so he makes an 8-man tag team elimination match for tonight.

-Commercial

Match #6 - Elimination Match - John Cena, Sheamus, John Morrison & Alex Riley vs. Wade Barrett, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, & Christian

-Wade Barrett and Alex Riley are in the ring. Barrett is in control until Riley whips Barrett into the corner. Riley hits an STO on Barrett for a two-count. Barrett gets up and whips Riley, hitting a black hole slam for a two-count of his own. Clubbing blows from Barrett to Riley's chest. He slams Riley's head into the top turnbuckle and tries a big boot, but Riley ducks it and tags in John Morrison while Barrett tags in Ziggler. Ziggler hits a number of kicks and his flip bottom. He kips up and knocks the heels off of the apron. He turns his attention back to Ziggler, who applies the sleeper on Morrison. Jack Swagger gets a blind tag and applies an ankle lock on Morrison while Ziggler refuses to let go. He eventually releases the sleeper, but Morrison has no choice but to tap to the ankle lock. Vickie Guerrero then makes her way down to the ring.

John Morrison has been eliminated.

-Commercial

-Ziggler is stomping Riley in the heel corner. He hits a snapmare and a jumping elbow drop for a two-count. Ziggler applies a side headlock, but Riley gets to his feet. Riley hits a number of clotheslines and a big spinebuster. He knocks the heels off the apron, but Ziggler hits a famouser for a close two-count. Ziggler starts calling for Riley to get up, but Swagger gets another blind tag. Swagger and Ziggler start to argue momentarily but Swagger applies the ankle lock, lets go, hits a Vader bomb, and re-applies the ankle lock. Riley taps out as well.

Alex Riley has been eliminated.

-Sheamus gets into the ring and starts going nuts. He hits punch after kick after stomp on Swagger, who gets a tag to Barrett. The two trade punches before Barrett hits a kitchen sink on Sheamus. Barrett hangs Sheamus up in the ropes and hits a huge big boot to Sheamus' head, which gets a near-fall. Barrett locks in a side headlock, but Sheamus gets fired up and hits his double-arm clothesline. He hits a running powerslam on Barrett and hangs him in the ropes. He clubs away on Barrett's chest and hits a running knee left to Barrett's temple. Sheamus climbs the turnbuckle and hits a flying shoulder tackle on Barrett. Sheamus then misses a Brogue kick and Barrett hits a kick to Sheamus' gut and attempts a pumphandle slam. Sheamus fights out and hits Barrett with the Brogue kick. Barrett is pinned.

-Wade Barrett has been eliminated.

-Christian is now in, and attempts a killswitch. Christian flees to the apron and slaps Sheamus. Sheamus is not pleased, and starts chasing Christian out of the ring into the crowd and up the ramp. Sheamus throws Christian into the minitron as they are both counted out.

-Christian and Sheamus have been eliminated.

-Jack Swagger gets into the ring, as does Cena. Cena tosses Swagger into the corner. He hits a suplex on Swagger, but Ziggler sneaks in and hits a dropkick on Cena. Swagger gets a two-count on Cena. Swagger tosses Cena hard into the corner and tags in Ziggler. Ziggler stomps away at Cena's back. Ziggler chokes Cena in the corner and tags in Swagger. Swagger keeps Cena grounded for a moment, but Cena fights out, only to get a shot to the kidneys by Swagger. Swagger whips Cena, but Cena gets fired up, hitting his flying shoulder blocks and a protoplex on both Swagger and Ziggler. He goes for a double five-knuckle shuffle (ten-knuckle shuffle?) and hits it. He clotheslines Ziggler, but walks into a belly-to-belly suplex from Swagger. Swagger hits his Vader bomb on Cena, but Ziggler gets a blind tag on Swagger. They argue, and Ziggler walks into an AA from Cena. Ziggler is pinned.

-Dolph Ziggler has been eliminated.

-Swagger immediately applies the ankle lock to Cena. Cena flips Swagger over into the STF and Swagger has to tap.

-Jack Swagger has been eliminated.

Winner: John Cena

-Del Rio runs out and tries to ambush Cena, but Cena hits an AA on Del Rio. He angrily walks up the ramp with Ricardo assisting him to end the show.


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