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Smackdown! Rundown: Because Breakdown is Jesse's Thing, and He's Not Here Tonight

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Welcome to this week’s Breakdown! As you can see, Jesse no-showed* tonight’s blog so I have been tasked with replacing him.
Jesse, I’m the Eric Young to your Scott Hall, and kudos to anyone who got that reference.

*It’s a joke, he asked me to fill in because he couldn’t get the blog up this week and I happily obliged.

Run it Down! (instead of Break it Down!, which is Jesse's... oh nevermind)

In Ring Segment: 6

For the first time in a long while Smackdown looks to be effective in actually building storylines. The work being done with all 3 men is great in showing what WWE looks like now. Big Show ringside, Miz vs. Orton and Ziggler vs. Shield all make perfect sense if you’re Triple H.

That said, this opening segment showed what I like to call Pro Wrestling Logic at its worst. Big Show has an iron-clad contract as we all remember. Therefore it makes no sense for him to be helpless against Triple H, or at the very least mention why his iron-clad contract didn’t make him immune to Triple H’s wrath. And then him saying it was excruciating for him to watch The Shield attack Bryan like that, when so many times in the past he was backstage watching what was going on when other superstars gang up on someone else. Where was he when Rock was beaten down by The Shield just this past year? Also – Miz being in gear made no sense, and Triple H said as much himself. Miz’s excuse wasn’t good enough in my eyes, although it was a nice change of pace having someone actually acknowledge the absurdity of wrestlers being in gear when they aren’t scheduled to compete.

The Miz vs. Randy Orton: 7

Unfortunately I don’t have too much to say about the match itself. It was very generic and expected, so there’s not much to say about the booking either. Miz was made to look good, I’ll say that much. Hey leave me alone, this isn’t my usual gig! When a match comes up that I can analyze tonight you WILL see me shine.

The post-match stuff wasn’t much to write home about either, though it was nice for Bryan to get the upper hand for once.

Winner: Randy Orton (Pin)

Los Matadores Promo: ?

Right. I’m going to reserve judgment on that, although the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle masks don’t bode well for this gimmick.

Backstage Segment: 3

RyBack vs. BryDan is an advancement of RyBack’s bullying storyline at least. I suppose. Vickie’s acting was atrocious though, I flashed back to studying melodrama in theatre class.

RAW Recap: 7

This was a relatively short RAW Recap, and I wouldn’t mind them if that was what their length would be like. You don’t need to air the whole segments, tidbits are more than enough. In fact, I think they should be half this time. This one was 4 minutes, I think 2 is prime time for them.

As for the content itself, well we all know how great Heyman is on the microphone and he drives home how Punk’s betrayal in his eyes, by asking him to not come to ringside with him, has affected and hurt him on a very personal level. Heyman feels betrayed by Punk and uses that as justification for his actions. Punk “dumped” him, and he was hurt. Think of that time when your girlfriend dumped you and you turned into a shell of a man and just felt wrath for her. You “dumpees” out there know what I’m talking about.

Rob Van Dam vs. Damien Sandow: 5

Very early on RVD went up top when Sandow was down and hit a leg drop. I don’t understand what prevented him from going for the 5 Star Frog Splash instead. If he is already up the added risk is very tiny with a slightly heightened elevation than the diving Leg Drop (which , with it being Fandango’s finisher, should not be used as a regular move by the way). I guess you could attribute it to Sandow’s proximity to the ropes that time as opposed to both the 5 Star and the Fandango Leg Drop, but I still think he should not have gone up to the top rope that time. Van Dam is good but he all too often has gaps in his psychology.

It could have been a great match, but it was just too darn short.

Winner: Rob Van Dam (Pin)

Post-Match Segment: 4

Del Rio’s language barrier makes his promos sound awkward.

1 on 3 Handicap Match

Ziggler vs. The Shield: 7

For what it was the match was good. Ziggler held his own okay, and The Shield were methodical as always. Give me Shield dominating one person and I’m a happy man, they’re just so good at it. The Bucklebomb/Spear combo is brilliant.

Winners: The Shield (Pin)

Post-Match: 6.5

The whole of Smackdown is based off a lie!

Well, short term memory booking. Big Show is sitting out ringside the whole show tormented (with some bad acting as well, which is surprising as he’s usually so good, but that’s another gripe altogether) with the premise of not wanting to be fired, when in storyline he has an iron-clad contract.

Heyman’s Wrath: 8

Heyman saying that he and Punk were champion for 434 days I think is Heyman intentionally trying to alter history in a way that the audience remembers, as he was only part of a late portion of that reign. That would be great if WWE didn’t do that all the time expecting us not to notice the inconsistencies. This just looks like another oversight because of how WWE usually conducts themselves in regards to history, and it doesn’t allow “spin master” Heyman to shine through. Heyman sold NoC perfectly. He said buying NoC virtually guarantees seeing Punk get his just deserts on Heyman.

Here’s another gripe with WWE booking. NoC is supposed to be about every title being on the line. It hasn’t been a 2 weeks into the build and already we know that’s not going to happen. Curtis Axel is in a 2 on 1 NON-TITLE handicap match.

Tag Team Match

Wyatt Family vs. Tons of Funk: 3

Again. I want to see the Wyatts face some other team. And have it last longer than 2 minutes.

Singles Match

RyBack vs. Daniel Bryan: 8

Daniel Bryan has a very unique ability of making him beating down much larger men believable. It’s a joy to watch. The match was solid, nothing extremely amazing but a solid main event nonetheless. The post-match is where it’s at, though.

Winner: Daniel Bryan (DQ)

Post-Match Beatdown: 9

So after Bryan locks in the Yes Lock on RyBack, Orton comes in, causing the DQ. Bryan breaks the hold and locks Orton in, only for Shield to make the save and start to beat Bryan down. Show runs into the ring, only for Triple H to come out and order him to get out of the ring. Show in classic face puppy-mode obeys, not without being reduced to tears in the process. Shield and Orton go back to beating on Bryan, followed by spraying NO over his body as revenge for what happened on RAW with Orton’s car.

This segment was effective, although I think Big Show’s sudden change of heart is too extreme to where he’s back to being the big puppy. Right now The Corporation is dominant, as it should be. Bryan alone should not be able to beat them, no matter how much unspoken support he has. Only when he can get someone to stand up for him, regardless of the consequences, will he have a chance to turn things around. As things stand though, Bryan is all alone and can’t possibly win.

Overall Wrestling Grade: 7

Overall Segment Grade: 6

Overall Show Grade: 6.5

Save the one large storyline with Bryan and the lukewarm consistency of the WHC picture, what does Smackdown really have going for it as a show? What is it really useful for? Both of the aforementioned storylines are advanced on RAW as well as it is, so really what is Smackdown good for right now? This is a call to action for WWE to make Smackdown more than the consistent aftermath it is now.

Next week this will become good again, as Jesse will be back!

Guy Landau

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