Hi! How's it going? Oh, sorry... hi, I'm Kevin, and I'm doing live coverage of WWE SmackDown tonight. Who the hell am I? Well, I can tell you who I'm not, and that's the Kevin Sullivan you're probably thinking of when you hear the name "Kevin Sullivan." Unless you're actually that big of a fan of mine, which I find hard to believe.
Anyway, I'm a writer and editor over at Sportskeeda Wrestling and, more importantly, a special contributor and part of the Live Coverage Crew here at Wrestling News World. I also have over 2,000 followers on Twitter, don't have any teeth, and have never seen any of the Alien movies (provided Prometheus doesn't count). So, hey, now we're best friends now! Yay!
Housekeeping time: I'll be covering the events of SmackDown tonight as they happen (mostly) but the page won't refresh itself. So, if you're following along with me live (pfffft, as if), you'll have to do the refreshing yourself. Thankfully for you, I'll have the updates timestamped (Central Time), so you can catch up if need be. Also, if you want to talk to me (pfffft, as if) during the show, shoot me a Tweet at my account at @HeyImKevinSully or use the comments section below.
Anyway, that's all for this opening stuff. Here's our preview of the show - check it out before everything starts and get ready for some dumb jokes. Peese out, my Gees.
Might have to duck out before the end of the show, guys. My daughter is showing signs of being sick. If I have to stop suddenly, you have my apologies.
(8:05pm) Roman wants Paul Heyman to look into the camera and tell Brock Lesnar that he's going to get beat at Crown Jewel. And Heyman cuts a usually-brilliant Heyman promo. I honestly think Roman can beat Brock after that. He's that good.
(7:51pm) Roman Reigns and his crew head to the ring, where Roman plans on saying something to Brock Lesnar.
(7:46pm) Zelina Vega squeaks out a win against Toni with a roll-up!
RESULT: Zelina Vega defeats Toni Storm
(7:44pm) Toni Storm cuts a promo with a bunch of 1980s music references before coming to the ring and I'm OK with it.
(7:38pm) And her opponent? Toni Storm.
(7:37pm) Seth Rollins wants an answer to his challenge to Edge. Also, Zelina Vega is here for the first match of the Queen's Crown tournament.
(7:31pm) Promo video for Hit Row - they're gonna be huge.
(7:26pm) Sami Zayn removes the turnbuckle cover off the top right corner, but Dominik is there to try and replace it. Rey is trying to get Dominik off the ring apron, and Sami pushes Rey into his son. Roll-up and Sami gets the win.
RESULT: Sami Zayn defeats Rey Mysterio
(7:16pm) Sami stokes the fires between Rey and Dominik, telling the younger Mysterio that he's better than his father. I don't think he's being sincere.
(7:10pm) Rey Mysterio is taking on Sami Zayn in the first round of the King of the Ring tournament. However, as he's heading out, his son Dominik informs him that he's not going out to the ring with him. RUT ROH.
(7:08pm) The segment doesn't end with any contract signed, but Bianca slams both Sasha and Becky through the table set up in the ring.
(7:04pm) Sasha and Bianca are in the ring, and Becky is sitting at a propped up in the aisle.
(7:01pm) Bianca Belair is in the ring and we're starting with a contract signing and what is going ON?
(7:00pm) WWE. THEN. NOW. OH CRAP THE SHOW IS ON.