Big E defeated Sheamus in a Falls Count Anywhere match
Jeff Hardy and Matt Riddle defeated The Miz and John Morrison
Sasha Banks defeated Bayley by DQ
The New Day (Woods and Kingston) defeated Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura for the SmackDown Tag Team Championships
The Fiend defeated Kevin Owens
Draft results are listed below.
Good evening, everyone! My name is Kevin C. Sullivan and I have the privilege (and I mean that sincerely) of handling live coverage of tonight's WWE SmackDown on Fox.
I won't go too in detail about who I am because a.) it's in my writer profile and b.) you don't give a hoot, now do you? But, as far as to what you can expect from my coverage tonight... well... honestly, you never know.
First, if you're on Twitter, I really hope you'll reach out and share your thoughts on tonight's episode if you're watching it along with me - and the account is here at @HeyImKevinSully. I'll share some of the best right here - along with Tweets from official WWE accounts, as well as a few from some of the other well-respected wrestling journalists around the world.
As you may be aware, tonight is the first night of this year's WWE Draft. I was actually fortunate enough to be at last year's SmackDown draft night in Las Vegas - the same night Bayley not only went full evil, but won back her WWE SmackDown Women's Championship. So, outside of the draft, we can still probably expect some interesting developments throughout tonight's show.
Anyhoo, We've got an hour and 15 minutes until the show starts, so I will see you all here then.
Did You Know?
Tony Hawk's son Riley is not only a professional skater himself, but is also featured in the Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 1 & 2 remake?
What does this have to do with WWE and pro wrestling? Nuthin'. I just wanted to get that out of my system.
YOU Make The Call (cue NFL Films theme music)
Tonight is the first night of this year's WWE draft. You've read the news stories and the editorials. Now, who do you think will be the first two stars picked tonight? Tweet your ideas to me at @HeyImKevinSully and, if you're right, I'll tell everybody here. And you'll be... well, not famous.... kind of famous? That'll have to be good enough.
Let's get started.
Like last year, it will be the executives of the Fox Network selecting the picks for SmackDown, while USA Network will do the same for Raw.
And, like last year, here some Stephanie McMahon to make the announcements.
Raw selects WWE Champion Drew McIntyre
SD selects WWE Universal Champion Roman Reigns
Raw selects Raw Women's Champion Auska
SD selects Seth Rollins
Raw selects the entire Hurt Business
Seth Rollins is totally OK with going to Friday nights, as "it's all about the message." He's going to miss watching the Mysterio family implode, but at least he doesn't have to look at them ever again.
Hopefully he never sees them at, like, the airport or something.
Big E vs Sheamus - Falls Count Anywhere match
Coming up next!
Our two combatants find themselves on the arena floor - with Big E getting the first pinfall attempt. E searches under the ring - tossing aside some of those giant Booty-O's cereal rings from WrestleMania a few years ago - and finds a kendo stick. Sheamus, however, nails him with a Brough Kick and relentlessly attacks Big E with the stick.
Sheamus crawls further under the ring, looking for more weapons. Big E regains his composure, grabs a roll of duct tape (of course there's a roll of duct tape down there), and tapes Sheamus's legs together. The former WWE Champion gets pulled out from under the ring and takes a beating as SmackDown goes to commercial.
Sheamus and Big E have made their way behind the curtain and are tossing each other around backstage. Like you do in a match like this
Sheamus is yelling something at Big E and I can't understand a word of it. And I'm Irish.
While that's going on, here's who's up for grabs in tonight's draft.
Big E thinks he's got Sheamus in a compromising position, but the Celtic Warrior pulls out a crowbar and goes all Gordon Freeman on him.
Sheamus then nails Big E with WHITE NOISE onto a car windshield, but only gets a 2 count from it.
Sheamus throws Big E into the trunk of a car and sets him up to slam the trunk lid onto his arm. Big E puts his foot up and stops him, and kicks him away.
Finally, Big E - covered in blood - nails Sheamus with The Big Ending off the top of another car and pins him for the win.
RESULT: Big E defeats Sheamus
Jey Uso confronts his cousin, Universal Champion Roman Reigns, after the break.
Big E is being interviewed in the back, as Jey Uso kills time in the ring.
Suddenly, out of nowhere comes Kofi Kingston... and Xavier Woods! The New Day is BACK, bay-beeeeeeeeee.
Meanwhile, we cut to Jey Uso, who wants Roman to come out and tell him what the stipulation of their HIAC will be. Roman doesn't come out. But, Paul Heyman interrupts him via Titantron.
After watching some footage of Roman beating up Jey at the last PPV, it turns out Roman is in the building and backstage after all.
But... Roman announces that their Hell In a Cell match at, er... Hell In a Cell... will be an I Quit match. So, basically, 1/4 of a War Games match.
"I love you. But, when I hear you say 'I quit', there will be consequences," Roman Reigns.
Coming up after the break - round dos of el drafto.
I don't actually speak Spanish.
Raw selects AJ Styles
SD selects Sasha Banks
Raw selects Naiomi
SD selects Bianca Belair
Raw selects Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler
Matt Riddle and Jeff Hardy team up to take on John Morrison and The Miz. RIGHT NOW.
Oh, wait. It's a commercial.
In a really quick match, Riddle nails Miz with the Bro Derek and gets the pin.
RESULT: Hardy and Riddle defeat Miz and Morrison
Wha? Lars Sullivan in here. He's attacking the winners.
Well... I'm going to do something more enjoyable... like stab myself in the eyeballs with a drinking straw... until Lars gets off my TV screen...
OK, it's time for Round 3
Raw selects Ricochet
SD selects Jey Uso
Raw selects Mandy Rose
SD selects Dominik and Rey Mysterio
Raw selects Miz and Morrison
For those keeping track, yes... Mysterio and Rollins will be on the same show still.
Nearly a year ago, I was in the MGM Center in Las Vegas watching Bayley not only win the SmackDown Women's Championship from Charlotte, but destroyed her inflatable Bayley Buddies and became the twisted creature we see today.
Tonight, on what would have been Eddie Guerrero's 53rd birthday, Sasha Banks - a woman who was inspired to become a wrestler by Guerrero - and Bayley - a competitor who styled the heel turn that revitalized her career after Guerrero's first turn in WCW - fight on SmackDown.
Unable to keep a vindictive Banks off of her, Bayley nails her former best friend with a chair, getting herself intentionally disqualified.
RESULT: Sasha Banks defeats Bayley by DQ (no title change)
Did.... did they just play the Street Profits' music?
We're getting The Fiend vs Kevin Owens! whoo hoo! There's no way this ends in shenanigans.
SmackDown Tag Team Champions Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura defend their titles against The New Day - Kofi Kingston and a returning Xavier Woods!
Right before the break, New Day nail Cesaro with the Midnight Hour, but Nakamura breaks up the pin.
Trouble in Paradise followed by a top rope elbow and The New Day are 7-time WWE Tag Team Champions!
RESULT: The New Day defeat Cesaro and Nakamura to win the SmackDown Tag Team Champions.
The final round of draft picks for the evening.
Raw selects The New Day (Woods and Kingston)
SD selects Big E
You read that right.
Raw selects Dana Brooke
SD selects Otis
Raw selects Angel Garza
OK, so... see if you guys are on the same wavelength that I am. Yes, The New Day have been split up between two brands.
Why does that have to be the end of The New Day?
Isn't the bond between Woods, Kingston and the former Mr. Langston stronger than brand divisions?
I'm a little disappointed in you, New Day.
Sasha has had it, you guys! She wants to give Bayley heck! Heck... In a Ceck! Er... wait...
The Fiend has come to the ring with his entrance that rivals The Undertaker's in its "is he in the ring yet or not"-ness.
So... obviously excluding the last fifteen minutes of tonight's show that have yet to happen, what do you guys think was the biggest moment of the night? Let us know in the comments down below!
Next week, it's the "Season Premiere" of Friday Night SmackDown.
And here comes Kevin Owens. He's gonna get punched a lot.
So far in this match... yeah, Kevin Owens is getting punched a lot.
Like, a lot.
I think Michael Cole really likes saying "urinagi"
Fiend goes for Sister Abigail but Owens fights his way out! Three superkicks from Owens and Wyatt just barely falls to the mat after the third kick.
Wyatt has the Mandible Claw on Owens! Owens hits him with the Stunner but The Fiend holds on! Another Urinagi, with the Claw sinked in, and Wyatt gets the pinfall.
RESULT: The Fiend defeats Kevin Owens
And our show wraps up with the lights going out and, when they came back up, The Fiend is at the top of the entrance ramp, bathed in his trademark red light, and is apparently having a staring contest with Alexa Bliss.
That was fun, you guys! Thank you for hanging out with me. I think I'm going to like it here. I'll see you all on Monday night provided I didn't say anything tonight that will get me fired. Match results will be at the top of the page and I'm going to go have a beer and play Destiny 2 until my wife gets mad at me. Good night!