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Hello, hello, and - why the hell not? - hello! Kevin Christopher Sullivan here with you, set to cover tonight's episode of WWE Monday Night Raw. Thank you all for coming by and joining me.
It's the Road to WrestleMania and, if last night's Super Bowl (which was held in the same location at WM this year, Raymond James Stadium) is any indication, it is possible to hold a huge event with fans in this age of pandemic. I suppose we'll have to wait and see if the event was held safely (as in, if there's an influx of COVID cases in the Tampa area or not) but, if it was, I bet we can expect a pretty raucous atmosphere for the Show of Shows.
But, we're not there yet. We still have to travel down this Road, and the next stop is... well, it's the WWE ThunderDome, so it's not exactly a stop, more of a metaphorical waypoi... look, if you don't get what I'm trying to say, I can't help you.
So far, we know that WWE Champion Drew McIntyre will have a confrontation with Sheamus - well, he'll address Sheamus - following the attack the Celtic Warrior (and apparently big fan of Brad Pitt in Snatch) laid on the champion last week.
And we're also apparently getting a confrontation (though, this time, it looks like an actual match?) between McIntyre and Randy Orton. So, it looks like the theme of tonight's Raw is "Drew McIntyre Confronts Stuff."
Anyway, if you want to get in on the conversation, use the comments section below and I might just share your wit and wisdom with the rest of the class. Or, you can reach me during the show at my Twitter account, @HeyImKevinSully.
Let's get things rolling.
(By the way, and they aren't paying for this plug, but if you're looking for a pretty dang fun free-to-play Battle Royale game, check out Spellbreak on consoles and PC. It's like a Last Man Standing bout between wizards. I'm playing it on Xbox One under my GamerTag KevinSully. See you there!)
(I mean, not right now. Raw is coming on.)
Rest In Power, Butch Reed.
I wonder if, after last week's Raw, Keith Lee was doing the I Told You So dance wherever he was.
Adam Pearce is in the ring and he's introducing Shane McMahon to the ring.
Adam and Shane announce that Drew McIntyre will defend his WWE Championship inside the Elimination Chamber.
Waiting on the announcement of his opponents...
Shane McMahon compliments Adam Pearce on the Elimination Chamber match he just booked and told him he's doing a great job. Pearce looks a little suspicious.
AJ Styles comes to the ring, along with Olmos, and they cross paths with Shane. Shane gives the giant a little smile and salute, harkening back to their Raw Underground work.
(7:09pm) After a few backhanded compliments towards Pearce, AJ tells him and the crowd that they're going to get a little snippet of what's going to happen at the next PPV. Cue Jeff Hardy's music. And a commercial.
Oh, hey... speaking of a thing...
Meanwhile, Shane is heading back to his limo and is confronted by Drew McIntyre, who was hoping for a "heads up" about this Elimination Chamber news. Shane tells him that WWE needed something "big" for this PPV and "nothing's bigger than [Drew] defending the WWE Championship" in the chamber.
Meanwhile, Hardy and Styles are having a match. That's about it.
Also, Seth Rollins returns to SmackDown this Friday. So, there's that.
Hardy seems to have hurt his knee. He falls out of the ring and Styles goes right after said knee.
(7:21pm) Can Jeff Hardy get back into the ring before the 10-count/commercial break?!
Since Raw is taking a break, we shall too. Check this out.
(7:35pm) Back from break and Styles slaps the Calf Crusher on Hardy's injured leg. He holds on to it for about a minute before Hardy grabs the ropes to break the hold.
Irish whip by Styles, but Hardy falls to the mat instead of hitting the ropes.
Styles is setting up the Phenomenal Forearm, but Hardy telegraphs it and falls onto the top rope, knocking Styles to the mat.
Hardy hits a Twist of Fate and know is going to the top rope! That's a bad idea! He leaps off for a Swanton Bomb and Styles moves out of the way! IT WAS A BAD IDEA, I TOLD YOU! NOBODY EVER LISTENS TO ME! HA! ahem...
Anyway, AJ slaps the Calf Crusher back on Hardy and gets the tap out.
RESULT: AJ Styles defeated Jeff Hardy
Backstage, Keith Lee asks Riddle how he's feeling after the beating Bobby Lashley gave him last week. Riddle says "laughter is the best medicine" and that he spent the whole weekend "getting toasty" and watching the Air Bud movies. Well, if I had a terrible disease and didn't know it, I have to be cured now because I am laughing my ass off at that.
Riddle vs Keith Lee is later tonight, but coming up after the break is... someone against one of the New Day.
(7:38pm) Sheamus confronts Adam Pearce backstage about setting up that Elimination Chamber match.
OK, so I guess it's Kofi and Woods vs T-BARR and Slapjack.
Kofi flies over the top rope and onto his Retribution opponents, as we head to commercials and anti-vaping PSAs.
Woods gets the hot tag and New Day hits "Daybreak" on T-BARR and get the win!
RESULT: New Day defeat RETRIBUTION
New Day slip out of the ring before the rest of RETRIBUTION can attack them. Woods shouts that he wants to fight Reckoning (aka Mia Yim), which is hilarious. "Where's Reckoning!?"
(7:53pm) Ric Flair comes to the ring to lead Lacey Evans to the ring, as we transition to another ad.
Valentine's Day is Sunday and so is NXT TakeOver! WHOOOOOO!
Flair is there to train Lacey Evans because he doesn't take orders from no woman.
Here comes Charlotte.
Ric suggests that Charlotte and Lacey become a tag team. Charlotte tells him that she already has a tag team partner - Asuka.
Lacey informs Charlotte that Ric has heard from WWE officials that if she can beat her in a match, she's next in line for a Raw Women's title shot. Charlotte is all like "oh yeah, well let's so this s*** right now" (not her exact words) and then Lacey attacks, throws Charlotte into the ring steps and accepts the challenge and JUST in time for more anti-vaping PSAs.
(8:09pm) The Miz and John Morrison are backstage, having a pleasant little chat with Angel Garza. Meanwhile, we've got Evans vs Flair.
(8:18pm) Lacey Evans is still bringing the pain on Charlotte.
Evans goes for a top rope moonsault and Charlotte gets her legs up to block it! WOOOOO!
RESULT: Lacey Evans defeats Charlotte Flair by DQ
Edge is coming up next and the Royal Rumble has a WrestleMania update for us all!
The Rated-R Superstar says he was nearly certain who he was going to challenge at WrestleMania - until the Elimination Chamber main event was announced.
The Miz and John Morrison, with Angel Garza tagging along, interrupt and come down to the ring.
"I think at a different level than you," - Edge to Miz
Damien Priest is taking on Angel Garza.... NEXT! wheeee
Damien Priest comes to the ring with Certainly Not Good But Bad? Eh Bunny.
Miz nails Priest as he hits the ropes, out of the eyeline of the ref, and Repugnant Rabbit jumps onto the ring apron to say "no, that is cheating and I will not stand for it, sir!"
Miz and Morrison are kicking Priest outside of the ring while the ref is distracted. Bunny grabs Miz's briefcase and jumps into the ring. Morrison grabs the briefcase away from him, but the ref catches him. He sends him and Miz to the back.
Miz hits Angel with The Reckoning and gets the win.
RESULT: Damian Priest defeats Angel Garza
It's Riddle time! Matt Riddle is in the ring for his match with Keith Lee.
Asuka vs Lacey Evans for the Raw Women's Championship at Elimination Chamber is announced. Bianca Belair is interviewed and she discusses who she wants to face at WrestleMania. Asuka comes out to congratulate her but to remind her that she is "not ready for Asuka."
Riddle vs Lee looks like it'll be kicking off the last hour, with MVP at the commentary table, doing... you know... commentary.
(8:59pm)After the two of them exchange blow, Riddle goes for a running forearm, but Lee grabs him out of the air by the throat. A huge shoulderblock later, and Lee is now dominating. Big time.
Riddle has Lee on the mat! He goes for a floating senton and HITS IT! Only gets a 2-count, though. WOW
Matt grabs Lee in a Triangle airbar, and now Lee is fighting for his life.
Riddle with a knee strike but Lee grabs Riddle up and hits the Spirit Bomb to get the win.
RESULT: Keith Lee defeats Riddle
As Lee and Riddle share a mutual expression of respect, Lashley attacks from behind and destroys both of them, as MVP cheers him on.
Man, Lashley is a MONSTER.
WWE is really, really trying to build up Orton/McIntyre as one of the classic feuds in the company's history. Considering how good their matches have been, I am all for it.
Lana and Nia Jax are having a tables match! NEXT! ... for some reason.
Lana's music hits.....
... and Ms. Perry comes to the ring with Naomi.
We're less than five minutes into the match and Jax has hit Lana with two powerbombs.
This is going to end up with Nia accidentally crashing into a table, isn't it?
Jax goes for another powerbomb, but Lana with a hurricanrana and flips Nia out of the ring and onto the apron.
Jax goes for a legdrop, but lands square on the apron! Lana charges her and pushes Nia right through a table perched on the security wall!
RESULT: Lana defeats Nia Jax
And Lana and Naomi celebrate in the ring, Shayna Baszler slides in the get some revenge - but Naomi puts a stop to it and throws her out.
By the way, after Nia Jax missed the legdrop and landed on the apron - aka "the hardest part of the ring" - she screamed out "my hole!"
That actually happened.
Whoa! The ads are over and we come back with Naomi taking on Shayna Baszler!
Baszler reverses an attack by Naomi and turns it into a Kirafuna Clutch. Then she slides out of the ring to attack Lana. She comes back in the ring, and Naomi rolls her up for the pin!
RESULT: Naomi defeats Shayna Baszler
After a typically awesome video package from WWE, this time about the Elimination Chamber match, Randy Orton makes his way to the ring for his match with Drew McIntyre.
Just announced... TRIPLE THREAT MATCH at Elimination Chamber! US Champion Bobby Lashley vs Keith Lee vs Riddle!
(9:48pm)Both men tease their finishers at the start of the match, already setting the tone for the next twelve minutes.
McIntyre nearly hits Orton with his draping middle rope DDT, but...
Sheamus comes down to distract McIntyre long enough for Orton to attack him from behind.
McIntyre with a neckbreaker on Orton and then a kip-up/psych-up!
Orton hits his draping DDT and then hits the mat, signaling the RKO. Drew pushes him away and nails him with the Future Shock DDT.
McIntyre goes for the Claymore but Sheamus hits the ring to attack. Sheamus hits him with the Claymore and wins by DQ.
RESULT: Drew McIntyre defeats Randy Orton
So, a pretty dang good show. What did you guys think? Use the comments section below. As for me, I'll see you all on Friday for SmackDown. Until then... I'm outta here.