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Oh, hey. Didn't see you there. Nice to see you. I'm Kevin, and I'll be handling your LIVE coverage of WWE Monday Night RAW here tonight for Wrestling News World. Special thanks to Juice for covering for me last week while I was on vacation. Or, you know, something you could kind of call a vacation. Anyway, let's get into it.
TONIGHT, for three hours, from 7pm Central to 10pm in that same time zone (to find out when Raw is airing for you, do the math), we'll be watching WWE lead into their penultimate (I probably didn't use that word right) PPV before WrestleMania, aka Fastlane (Vroom Vroom) - in other words, it's the WWE FASTLANE GOOOO HOOOOOME SHOOOOOOOW. Boy, that was ostentatious, sorry. Anyway, that's what's happening tonight.
Anyhoo, if you want to chat with me while this is all going on, we have a comments section below that I check fairly regularly - or you can Tweet me via MySpace.... hold on... via Twitter at my handle @HeyImKevinSully. I'm not going to bother creating a special hashtag for it because you goofy jackwagons never use it anyway. That's right, I'm done goofing around. Tonight's coverage is going to be snarky and weird.
Not really, boss. Don't fire me.
(Yes, really. Don't tell my boss.)
Anyway.... I'll see you all in a couple of hours.
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I wonder what depressing, soul-crushing episode of Chicago P.D. the USA Network will have on before Raw tonight?
That's the show folks thanks for joining us and have a good rest of your night or sleep tight if you are going to sleep.
Hurt Lock after the fact on Sheamus though and McIntyre enters and stares down the champion and boom Claymore!
Lashley with the Spear and the win!
Hurt Lock almost engaged but Sheamus counters! Sheamus does not counter it into offense of his own for long though because boom flatliner!
(10:54 pm EST) Irish Curse Back Breaker from Sheamus but on the pin Lashley still kicks out at one!
It's been a brutal affair with Sheamus controlling the action for most of the match which is weird I would have thought it been more even or with Lashley controlling. With that said Lashley has not been squashed though and has had plenty of offense of his own.
As I say that Sheamus has Lashley in a hold on the ground.
It's been a physical strike fest so far.
(10:41 pm EST) Sheamus vs Lashley begins with McIntyre just sitting down and watching from the ramp.
(10:32 pm EST) McIntyre is back in the ring on the mic and still in ring attire and has got some things to say.
Result: Matt Riddle retains against Mustafa Ali
Strike that T-Bar distracted the referee but it does not matter Ali does not take advantage leading to him taking a Bro Derek and Riddle getting the pin.
Ali is dominating and so far his cronies of Retribution have not interfered.
Ali with a twisting Neck Breaker on Riddle from the apron to the outside floor! Ouchy!
(10:14 pm EST) United States Title Match Time! My guy Matt Riddle takes on Mustafa Ali!
The champion stands tall after brutalizing Baszler!
Result: Asuka defeats Shayna Baszler
Asuka does roll Baszler up from being submitted but Baszler does not let go. Baszler goes for the kick in the teeth yet again but Asuka defends and gives Baszler a beating!
The RAW Women's Champion is on a roll tonight so far can she keeping rolling to a win over Baszler.
(10:00 pm EST) Asuka goes right after Baszler before the bell rings and gives some of her fury to Jax as well!
Little Miss Bliss is challenging Randy Orton to a match Sunday! That is my take from her little promo she just had in offering Orton to take her out Sunday at Fastlane.
There is slime now did they get it from the Kid's Choice Awards last weekend? Okay so Shane did quite a lot to Strowman.
(9:42 pm EST) The match has not begun yet I think because Shane is just beating up Strowman with a camera.
(9:39 pm EST) Strowman and Shane begin their exchange and Shane is playing hopscotch ringside and a bunch of silly stuff.
Result: Damian Priest defeats Elias
(9:32 pm EST) Priest wins the match over Elias and after some brawling boils over and Bad Bunny gets hurt! Maybe a singer does not belong in the squared circle after all.
Truth just asking for the title and actually just getting it wow did not see that coming either and is that allowed?
Truth trying to roll up on Bad Bunny and take the title and instead plays it off like he is giving them Stone Cold themed gifts is fantastic.
(9:20 pm EST) Miz and Morrison have a run in with Bad Bunny and Damian Priest looks like the feud is continuing after a brief pause.
I definitely did not see that coming to be honest. Kingston then asked if they are registered as a tag team or able to work as a tag team before the pair accepted the match for the title match at WrestleMania!
As The New Day celebrates AJ Styles and Omos enter the scene and Styles announces how he has no plans for Mania and throws out the idea of him and Omos challenging The New Day for the titles!
Result: The New Day defeated The Hurt Business for the RAW Tag Team Championships
(9:15 pm EST) Kingston and Woods win the match with a tremendous sequence of tag moves worthy of champions! New Day is once again at the top of the tag team division.
(9:13 pm EST) Benjamin and Kingston are tagged in for their respective teams and carry on the fight with Kingston in control until Benjamin performing a very quick suplex on Kingston from the top turnbuckle.
(9:11 pm EST) This championship rages on as both teams are tired and Woods and Alexander are having quite the back and forth constantly bouncing from rope to rope pounding away at each other.
(9:00pm EST) The RAW tag team championship between The New Day and The Hurt Business team of Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin the RAW Tag Team Champions begins now!
Ok thank you Kevin and hello guys I'll be doing the rest of the show now for time stamps I'm going to use Eastern Standard Time I apologize if this confuses you. I'm from that time zone so it is easier for me to do it that way.
Hey everyone, Kevin here. I've got some last minute dad stuff I need to do - as well as some career introspection - but I'm proud to tag in my friend Juice, who is here to help me out! Take it away, Juicer!
(7:54pm) Backstage, Riddle approaches The New Day on his scooter and they discuss their individual matches.
RESULT: Dana Brooke and Mandy Rose defeated Lana and Naomi
(7:52pm) I don't know what happened, but Dana Brooke pinned Lana and that's the match.
(7:51pm) As the two teams battle it out and Shayna and Nia at commentary, Asuka makes a triumphant return - and Shayna charges at her up the ramp.
(7:49pm) It's been made official - Sheamus vs Bobby Lashley (non-title) later tonight.
(7:47pm) Our next match is Dana Brooke and Mandy Rose vs Naomi and Lana.
(7:43pm) After a goofy segment with R-Truth doing a Steve Austin impression - including downing some beer - we head to another break with Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler heading to the ring.
(7:41pm) Shane just calls him stupid - then says he's on.
(7:40pm) Braun wants a match with Shane.... tonight!
(7:34pm) As we head into another ad break, Bruan Strowman heads to the ring to, apparently, confront Shane McMahon...
... I don't like where this is going.
RESULT: Drew McIntyre defeats The Miz
(7:31pm) Pointing to the WrestleMania sign, Drew puts Miz into the Hurt Locker and wins by submission.
(7:30pm) After slamming Miz's head into the ring steps numerous times, he throws him back into the ring and hits him with a Future Shock DDT. Then a Claymore Kick. Pins him. And then lets him up.
(7:24pm) Drew is going for a Claymore (which I always thought was a reference to a landmine but is actually a sword), but Morrison pulls Miz out. So, the ref makes a big production of telling the Shaman of Sexy to GET TO THE BACK and I LOVE it when refs do that. Anyway, now there's a commercial.
(7:23pm) Morrison tries to distract McIntyre, but it doesn't work very well. Then, he throws his sunglasses at him, which is hilarious.
(7:22pm) Drew is beating up Miz.
It's gonna be fun hearing the announcers say "Peacock" over the next year.
(7:19pm) As Miz vs Drew gets set up, we get a look at tonight's big matches - Riddle vs Ali, Shayna vs Asuka, and New Day vs Hurt Business.
(7:18pm) Sheamus is asked backstage why he attacked Bobby Lashley. Sheamus says he wants Drew 100% at Fastlane and that he wants Bobby Lashley tonight.
(7:15pm) While Miz starts to punch away at Drew, Lashley heads back up the ramp. And then SHEAMUS COMES OUT AND ATTACKS LASHLEY. HE'S EVEN WEARING HIS HAT!
(7:13pm) Miz tries to get a word in edgewise and, with Drew distracted, Lashley attacks!
(7:12pm) Damn.... Drew is REALLY good on the mic.
(7:10pm) Drew is going through the shared history of him and Lashley.
(7:08pm) Drew McIntyre interrupts The Miz, pointing his sword at Bobby Lashley like he's The Berzerker or some sh**.
(7:06pm) Miz thinks he's got an "epic rivalry" with Bobby Lashley. Also, he mentions that it's 3:16 week. Which it is.
(7:05pm) Hey, it's The Miz!
(7:04pm) MVP informs us that we have now entered the All Mighty Era. That's a dumb name.
(7:03pm) Lashley comes to the ring with MVP, wearing his purple Dion Sander suit.
(7:02pm) It's official, you guys. WrestleMania is going to be Lashley vs McIntyre.
(7:00pm) WWE. THEN. NOW. HOW NOW BROWN COW.