Before we get started, take a moment to read Wrestling News World's Raw Preview, written by our own Ja'Von York, to get up to speed with what's going to go down in Groovetown tonight. And now... for the fine print....
(If you are following along live with tonight's WWE Raw, you will probably need to refresh the page once or twice to get the latest updates. Inconvenient? Probably. The end of the world? No. Quit being a baby. Most updates will be timestamped with when they happen or, more specifically, when I see them happen on my YouTube TV feed. These will be in Central time, as I live in Texas, DO NOT JUDGE ME. Anything that looks like an opinion is mine is a.) mine alone and not necessarily those of Wrestling News World or its staff and b.) correct.)
Hellooooooo and welcome to tonight's coverage and commentary of this American holiday edition of WWE Monday Night Raw. It's actually the day after the holiday, as just yesterday we Americans celebrated (cue Bill Pullman voice) our Independence Day, or the day we told Britain to go stick it, aka the 4th of July, aka yesterday. And because yesterday was Sunday and if there's one thing that we Americans love more than baseball, apple pie, and your mother, it's days off from work, we're celebrating today, too.
Tonight, we're getting a rematch between John Morrison and Ricochet, after last week's double-count out that involved WWE's biggest viral moment since Keith Lee nearly murdered Adam Cole.
Oh, in case you forgot....
We also have The New Day (Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods) taking on WWE Champion Bobby Lashley and MVP in one of them tag team matches I've been hearing about so much lately.
As usual, if you want to be a part of tonight's coverage - and you probably don't, you never do, you boring assholes - simply leave your comments in the comment section or tweet me @HeyImKevinSully (use the hashtag #WNWRaw, too) and you might get said comment posted "on the air" aka here on the page.
Anyhoodeedoo, I'll see you all at showtime... well, probably sooner, as I'll be sure to share any breaking news should it happen before said showtime. Enjoy!
By the way, if you're on Xbox Network and you play either Knockout City or Destiny 2, send me a friend request - GamerTag is KevinSully.
(9:13pm) Styles is about to hit Riddle with the Styles Clash, when the Viking Raiders surround Omos. It's enough of a distraction for Riddle to roll AJ up for the pin.
RESULT: Riddle defeats AJ Styles
(9:05pm) AJ's been working on Riddle's foot the whole match. Suddenly, Riddle hops onto one foot, setting up for the Crane Kick from The Karate Kid. Styles makes fun, but it works! AJ goes down. Still doesn't get him the pin but, hey, it was funny.
(9:01pm) AJ Styles vs Riddle is on.
No offense to Lucha House Party, by the way. Happy to see them get a win any time. Just feel bad it's at the expense of these poor guys who had to suffer through being in RETRIBUTION and then now this. Sad face.
(8:52pm) Lince Dorado with a hurricanrana into a pin on T-BARR and gets the pin and who did Dio and Dominick piss off backstage?
RESULT: Lucha House Party defeat Mace and T-Barr
(8:49pm) Well, I mean, the big guys are kind of cleaning house right now, so... I dunno.
(8:48pm) Mace and T-BARR are already in the ring - never a good sign - as Lucha House Party of all people get a full entrance.
(8:44pm) The New Day cutting a promo on their match against Bobby Lashley and MVP later. At the end, Woods claims their effort against their opponents is "set to be a BREEEEEEEZE."
Subtle, Woods. Subtle.
(8:39pm) Jinder is stealing Drew's sword.
So it's gonna be one of those storylines. K.
(8:37pm) Drew sets up for the Claymore, but Veer and Shanky hit the ring and cause the DQ. They don't care. They just want to beat up Drew.
RESULT: Drew McIntyre defeats Jinder Mahal (DQ)
(8:35pm) Announce team doing a really good job of putting Jinder over.
(8:31pm) Drew and Jinder, LIVE, here on RAW. I'll let ya know who wins.
(8:19pm) Drew McIntyre up in this bitch trying to convince us his sword is made from the tooth of the Loch Ness Monster.
He's doing a pretty good job convincing me, actually.
(8:17pm) Ali runs into the ropes and gets his ankle tangled in them. With Ali screaming in pain, Monsoor and the referee get him freed... which gives Ali the opportunity to roll him up for the pin.
RESULT: Mustafa Ali defeats Monsoor
(8:13pm) Mustafa Ali and Monsoor are going at it next, and we get a look at how Ali eliminated Monsoor from the battle royale last week, and tells Monsoor he doesn't want him to "end up like [him]."
I have nothing against Eva Marie personally, and she's certainly easy on the eyes, but she adds nothing to any segment she's been in so far since coming back.
(8:04pm) Nia Jax catches Nikki into a fireman's carry and slams her down with a Samoan Drop and gets the pin.
RESULT: Shayna Baszler, Nia Jax, Doudrop, and Eva Marie defeat Nikki A.S.H., Asuka, Naomi, and Alexa Bliss
(8:02pm) Alexa attempts to hypnotize Reggie, so Shayna tosses Alexa into the wall. Smart.
(8:00pm) What would you think of a faction containing Nia Jax, Shayna Baszler, Doudrop, and Eva Marie (no, seriously) along with Reginald?
(7:46pm) Following a segment I fell asleep during, Nikki A.S.H. is the first in the ring, followed by Alexa Bliss, and then commercial time.
(7:34pm) Jinder Mahal is here with his sweet, sweet motorcycle (no, seriously, it looks dope as hell), and he tells Kevin Patrick - who starts the interview, AS HE SHOULD, complimenting the bike - asks the Modern Day Maharajah about his match with Drew McIntyre tonight.
So, this is awesome. Jinder talks about how he and Drew used to be close, and he even texted his fellow WWE Champion about hanging out after Jinder defended his championship at the time, and Drew texted back, saying "Sorry, 2 busy." Just like that - Jinder even made it a point to mention the number 2. That is just.... *chef's kiss*
(7:31pm) With both men on the arena floor, the ref starts to count. Morrison climbs back into the ring, while Ricochet crawls his way back. However, Miz positions his wheelchair in front of him, causing Morrison to win by count-out.
RESULT: John Morrison defeats Ricochet.
(7:23pm) On the floor, Ricochet jumps off of Miz in his wheelchair and goes for a hurricarana on Morrison, but Mr. Drip Drip catches him and powerbombs him into the security barrier. COMMERCIAL TIME.
(7:18pm) Ricochet vs Johnny Drip Drip has started.
(7:16pm) I really can't wait to see the new Space Jam.
(7:12pm) Riddle, sitting on top of the ladder in the middle of the ring, asks Omos for a high five. Omos, instead, pushes Riddle off the ladder and onto his injured foot. Soon, the faces and heels are fighting each other... just as we go to commercial before our Ricochet/Morrison match!
(7:10pm) As AJ Styles comes out, Miz is furious that he doesn't get to introduce anybody.
(7:08pm) Riddle comes out next, after we get a demonstration of Ricochet being able to spell his own name.
(7:06pm) Richard O'Shea is the next one out.
(7:05pm) Drew McIntyre is the next one out and he's talking about how he's a distant relative of Davey Crockett - because MITB is in Texas and all that.
(7:02pm) We're getting a Miz TV with all the Raw stars in the Money In The Bank. But first, we're gonna hear from Johnny Drip Drip.
(7:00pm) WWE. THEN. NOW. FOR EXECUTIVE PRODUCER DICK WOLF.
(6:58pm) As Chicago P.D. wraps up, we're getting psyched for tonight's Raw! RAWR! *pumps arms, yells at cat*