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Hey there, you fine, foxy people (and Dave DiNezza), and welcome to Wrestling News World's LIVE coverage of tonight's WWE Raw! I'm your host Kevin Christopher Sullivan, and I'll be providing all the commentary, results, and related Tweets (and more) regarding tonight's show.
Following this introduction, all the results will go from the latest happenings on down, so if you want to begin reading from the start of the show, you'll need to scroll to the bottom and work your way up. Sort of like how I read mystery novels. I'm only kidding. I don't know how to read.
Speaking of scrolling to the bottom, after you've done that, you'll find our comments section. You're probably familiar with those. I highly encourage you to add your thoughts on the show, our commentary, your opinions on wrestling in general, what you want for Christmas, and even what your favorite kind of hat is. I'll be jumping in and talking with you all - provided any of you actually, you know, do that. You can also find me on Twitter at @HeyImKevinSully.
If you tend to live tweet during WWE shows, shoot me a message and I'll add you to our Live Coverage List and share your tweets during our, you know... live coverage.
Anyway, that's enough jibber jabber. Let's get ready to watch some gotdang Monday Night RAWWWWWWW.
Until next time, in the immortal words of both Dennis Miller and Justin Whang... I'm outta here.
And there you have it, my fine freaky friends. Now, this Sunday, WWE will be presenting NXT WarGames. The following Sunday will be TLC. So, there's plenty of WWE stories to watch advance over the next couple of weeks. And, if you're wondering what happened to Sheamus after this match, well, he's scheduled to be on Raw Talk on the Network in a little bit.
Miz finally hands the case to the ref, but before the bell can ring, Drew cleans house of everyone but AJ. Styles leaps over the top rope and into the waiting arms of Omos, who carries his associate off the safety.
AJ tries to get Miz to cash in his briefcase, although Miz seems a little too preoccupied with the fact that he just got disqualified and lost the tag team match.
RESULT: McIntyre and Sheamus defeat Miz and Morrison
Sheamus wants to tag in, but Morrison pulls him off the apron and tosses him into the "crowd". AJ attacks Drew to get Miz and Morrison DQ'd.
I love how AJ and Samoa Joe are bantering politely on commentary as if Joe didn't threaten his wife and family during a feud years ago.
WWE Champion Drew McIntyre comes out for an interview before his tag match with Sheamus (it wasn't a particularly good interview)(still love ya, Drewster). Earlier, Keith Lee approached Sheamus in the back, letting him know that he and the "fellas" in the back suspected that he was about to turn on McIntyre. Sheamus was very sarcastic in response.
Riddle is in the back, recovering from his match, as well. MVP approaches him to talk some smack, but Riddle still has some business ideas to pitch him.
Miz and Morrison approach the victorious AJ in the back, attempting to get him to help Miz cash in his briefcase - including trying to bribe him with a pecan pie. To their surprise, AJ agrees - rationalizing that defeating Miz for the WWE Championship would be way easier than defeating McIntyre. I also think the pie helped.
Mia is in the middle of the ring, dejected, with Ali screaming at her. "THERE IS NO FAILURE IN RETRIBUTION!"
RESULT: Dana Brooke defeats Reckoning
Ali leaps to the apron to distract Dana, but all it does is allow Dana to roll Yickoning up and get the win.
Saaaaaaaay, wait just a minute here... THAT'S NXT SUPERSTAR MIA YIM, YOU GUYS!
It's less than a minute into the match and Reckoning's mask has already fallen off.
After an interview with Miz and Morrison, Dana Brooke makes her way to the ring to take on Reckoning of RETRIBUTION - NEXT!
RESULT: AJ Styles defeats Keith Lee and Riddle
It feels like it was just a little over a year ago that Keith Lee and Riddle were trying to murder Sami Zayn. Oh, wait...
(10:00pm) AJ makes his entrance, followed by Riddle and this match kicks off the third and final hour of tonight's Raw.
Lee makes his way to the ring for the Triple Threat match between him, Riddle, and Styles. In the meantime, I'm making my way to the bathroom.
Riddle is backstage and approaching AJ Styles and Omos, much in the same way he approached Keith Lee earlier. We learn that Riddle a.) has a bunny named Skipper and b.) thinks AJ is both "furry" and "cute"
MVP and Shelton Benjamin get into the ring, expecting to celebrate with the victorious Alexander. However, Cedric is in his own, intense little world, and is storming up the ramp like a man possessed.
RESULT: Cedric Alexander defeats Xavier Woods
Woods tosses Cedric back into the ring before the count can hit ten. However, Alexander turns around and nails Woods with a Lumbar Check and gets the win!
Not shockingly, Xavier Woods and Cedric Alexander are putting on a hell of a match.
Back from break and unlike the lead-in, Woods now has the upper hand. Not for long, though, as Cedric drops Austin Creed face first onto the top rope.
(9:41pm) It's Cedric vs Woods, and Cedric isn't messing around... or waiting around, either, apparently. The former Cruiserweight champion blindsides Woods and starts punching away, even before the bell can ring. Commerciall time...
Woods and Kingston go over the numerous times they've defeated the Hurt Business. Well, the HB aren't happy about that and they come out to yell at them - prompting Woods to scream "WHERE ARE THE OTHER TAG TEAMS?!"
The New Day are here and they have an announcement.... Xavier Woods is the newest host for the revived video game cable network, G4. Wait... WHAT?!
Meanwhile, Sheamus is in the back, recovering from the attack by Miz and Morrison. Drew McIntyre comes by to make sure he's OK. Sheamus is grumpy, but it looks like the two are back on the same page and ready to fight.
RESULT: Lana and Asuka defeat Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler
Lana rolls over and pins Baszler.... Lana and Asuka win!
Asuka breaks away from Jax, however, and races into the ring, nailing Baszler with a Shining Wizard and breaking the hold.
Baszler gets the Karafuna Clutch on Lana, while Jax yanks Asuka off the ring apron before she can make a tag.
Jax attempts to ram Lana into the ring post, but Lana slithers out of her grip and pushes Jax into the post instead. Lana tags in Asuka, who immediately hits Baszler with a Codebea... er, Facebreaker.
With Nia Jax running the ropes, Lana pulls the middle one down and Nia... very politely slows down and tenderly jumps to the floor between them. Lana and Asuka go for double baseball slides but this happens...
Lana and Baszler start this match off and the Ravishing Russi... wait, is she still Russian? I lost track. Anyway, Lana does some pretty slick amateur wrestling moves and rolls the former NXT Women's Champion up for a two count. The announcers are voicing their astonishment at Lana's apparent skill at her chosen profession in the same way the announcers were when Dennis Rodman did a hiptoss back at that WCW PPV in the 90s.
Miz calls Sheamus's career a "joke", which is not a smart move. Sheamus takes his coat and hat off - how long has Sheamus had that new haircut, anyway? - and starts to throw hands. However, after a shot to the head from the MITB briefcase, Sheamus is out cold.
Ha ha Miz just said "Money in the brank"
(9:00pm)Miz and John Morrison are facing the team of Sheamus and WWE Champion Drew McIntyre later tonight, but right now, Sheamus is a guest on Miz TV.
RESULT: Slapjack defeats Ricochet
Still, that whole thing is enough of a distraction for Slappy John to hit Ricochet with... well, I don't know what it's called but it looked awesome. And Slapjack picks up the win.
With Ricochet holding control over the entire match, Ali calls down Mace and T-BAR to get involved. Richard O'Shea leaps over the ropes, taking both of them out. Ali then attempts to interfere but he's suddenly stopped by... Dana Brooke?
Ricochet is taking on Slapjack of RETRIBUTION next - and we finally have the answer to that age old question "Oh, RETRIBUTION is still a thing?"
I wish I could transcribe what Riddle just said to Keith Lee backstage before the break because it's one of the funniest promos I have ever heard.
Following Elias stabbing a guitar neck into a speaker and getting electrocuted, Hardy tosses him onto a table and hits him with a Swanton onto the floor... and also hits his head on the steel steps. However, he picks up the victory and celebrates with a little tamborine solo.
Considering his prediliction for outdated pop culture references, I'm surprised Vince didn't have his announce team mention Chuck Barris.
Elias charges at Hardy outside of the ring, but Hardy dodges and Elias gongs right into... well... a gong.
Back to the show, and Elias has put three guitar picks in between the fingers of his fist like a low-rent Wolverine and slams them into Hardy's forehead.
The usual charge of Superstars begins chasing after Truth, and they get in the way of Elias and Hardy - and a number of them find themselves on the wrong end of some guitar shots from both of them. As we head to commercial, Hardy and Elias look at each other as if they're saying...
Elias heads over to the grand piano - or, as Tom Phillips calls it, the Shinsuke Nakamura Memorial Grand Piano - and notices the lid moving. Flipping it open, we find current 24/7 Champion R-Truth hiding in the piano.
What do you guys think - will tonight's match be the final one in this Elias/Hardy feud or will it continue on through TLC? Share your answers in the comments down below.
Coming up after the break... Elias vs Jeff Hardy in a Symphony of Destruction match.
The Fiend is actually begging Orton to hand Bliss over to him. Orton does, slides out of the ring, and shouts "who's laughing now?" Well... according to my colleague Greg Bush of Sportskeeda.... he is...
The lights go out, and when the screeching and red lights turn on, The Fiend is in the ring... and he sees Randy Orton cradling Bliss in his arms.
"Is that what the voices are telling you, Randy? Or are they lying to you? Who's manipulating who?" - Alex Bliss.
And he thinks he found it in Alexa Bliss.
Speaking of which, Orton references his previous feud with Wyatt that lead to a WrestleMania main event. Randy points out that he had to find Bray's vulnerabilities in order to beat him, and he has to do the same to The Fiend, as well.
Out of all the positive things you can say about Bray Wyatt's run as The Fiend, one of the best is continuity. Nothing is forgotten when it comes to the stories he's been telling. Just look at how they regularly reference Orton's history with him.
Alex Bliss is in full Firefly Fun House mode as she introduces Randy Orton as her guest on Moment of Bliss. And Orton has his hoodie zipped up, so you know he's not here to mess around.
(8:00pm) And it's showtime.
I love how the USA always has some depressing police procedural to lead into Raw.
Also, here's our official preview of tonight's show.
Before the show starts, here's a little news for ya - the NFL's Steelers-Ravens game from Thanksgiving will actually be shown this Wednesday instead. Which, you may have surmised, is the same night both NXT and AEW Dynamite air. As an NFL and wrestling fan, I'm torn. As a Cincinnati Bengals fan, I hope both teams lose somehow.