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Hey everybody! Good to have you all here again with me. I'm Kevin Christopher "I put my middle name in there so people online don't think I'm some other Kevin Sullivan because believe me, some people do" Sullivan (that's a bit of a wordy nickname, I should work on that).
Last night's NXT TakeOver was one of the best shows of the year, as they usually are. I don't know if the Raw roster really feels like they need to live up to that standard tonight but... can you imagine if they did? Anyway, here's what to expect tonight...
As always, we run the results from newest to oldest following this intro. So if you want to start from the beginning of the show, scroll to the bottom and work your way up from there. While you're down there, leave a comment in the, you know, COMMENTS section. If any of you even bother, I may just reply. Anyhoo... the little hand says it's time to rock...
I hope you all enjoyed the show and tonight's commentary and I'll see you all again here at WNW for SmackDown on Friday! Until then... I'm outta here.
Well... that was something. Great way to end the show - and I'm not being sarcastic. Lots of fun. I still think 3 hours is way too long for a wrestling show but this one didn't drag on as long as some older episodes.
The red lights come on and we see The Fiend. He slaps on the Manible Claw onto Randy as the show ends.
The lights go out, but Orton hits Bray with an RKO quickly.
It's not enough.
Wyatt nears gets Orton in Sister Abigail twice, but the second time, Orton hits him with a thumb to the eye.
Wyatt vs Orton is on now. The two of them throw hands until Wyatt slams Orton through the announce table. Then, he grabs a headset and shouts "Yowie wowie! We'll be right back!" And then... commercial....
We get another Pat Patterson segment and I know they've been playing these a lot but, man, I still tear up each time they play one.
Lashley won't let go of the hold. Riddle hits the ring to try and help, but MVP tries to stop him. Eventually, Riddle breaks free and is able to protect the former World Champion.
RESULT: Bobby Lashley defeats Jeff Hardy
Lashley gets the Hurt Lock on Hardy and gets the win.
Riddle yelling at Hardy: "Jeff! You're SO CLOSE!"
Oh, hey, Riddle comes out to beat up MVP and even the odds.
I'm not a big fan of Lashley. And I'm a lifelong fan of Jeff Hardy - from even back when they had plaid tights, like the Bay City Rollers. But, I'm not buying this match.
Bobby Lashley is taking on Jeff Hardy next. Before the Charismatic Enigma can face off against the United States Champion, Riddle approaches him with a tag team idea - the Hardy Bros. And their finisher? Bro-etry In Motion.
Back from break and Sheamus and Drew are fighting backstage. An official tries to get in between them, and so the two decide to beat him up instead. After tossing him through a table, the two apparently make amends.
Lana is taking on Nia Jax 1 on 1 next week. Also, Drew confronts Sheamus about what happened during their match and apparently didn't bother to look at the video of the end of the match even though they have cameras all over the damn place. Nostrils flare.
RESULT: Miz, Morrison, and Styles defeat McIntyre and Sheamus
Styles gets an eye rake on McIntyre and Sheamus makes a blind tag into the match. Brough kicks on everyone... including Drew McIntyre - although it was intended for John Morrison. AJ nails Sheamus with a Phenomenal Forearm and gets the pin.
AJ gets the Calf Crusher on Sheamus and Drew jumps through the ropes to break up the submission hold. And why shouldn't he? Heels do that all the time and only get a chastizing, why not the good guys? Anyway, it's enough for Sheamus to get in a White Noise and a tag to Drew.
Well... not exactly....
It's Sheamus & McIntyre vs Miz, Morrison, and Styles. And already, Morrison has been thrown through the announce table.
RESULT: Cedric Alexander defeats Kofi Kingston.
Cedric Alexander picks up the win!
Cedric has been relentless since the match started, focusing on Kofi's left leg.
Cedric Alexander ain't having that and challenges Kofi to a match immediately.
RESULT: Kofi Kingston defeats Shelton Benjamin
Kofi dodges a charging Shelton outside of the ring and the Gold Standard crashes into a security wall. Kingston gets back in the ring, and so do Benjamin - but just barely before the ten count. Kofi with a Trouble in Paradise and the pin and the win.
And it looks like Kofi is taking on Shelton Benjamin.
Kofi Kingston comes to the ring with Xavier Woods, and they do the New Day thing while the commercials are happening.
Sheamus comes down to address Miz and Morrison's mocking of him and Drew... and, soon, McIntrye is there, too. Then, everything gets nuts.
Styles will be taking on McIntyre for his WWE Championship at TLC.
It's MIZ TV time and his guest tonight is his and Morrison's tag team partner for the evening, Eh Jay STYLES!
While Mustafa Ali is chastising his followers, Keith Lee is backstage confronting Sheamus, who still thinks he's going to turn on Drew McIntyre.
RESULT: Dana Brooke/Ricochet defeat Reckoning/Slapjack of RETRIBUTION
Well, that was quick. Dana with a... what was that? A Falcon Arrow? Either way....
Dana and Mia (look, it's easier to call her that, OK?) start the match, but it's not long before Ricochet and Slapyjacky McSlapslap are in the ring.
Dana Brooke and Ricochet are discussing their mixed tag match against Reckoning and Slapjack of RETRIBUTION - and Mat... er, just Riddle... approaches them offering donu... er... BROnuts. He was looking for someone but I missed who it was because my daughter just came down and told me she's got her very first loose tooth! Yay!
We're back from commercial break, and we're treated to footage of the Miz/Morrison vs Drew McIntyre/Sheamus match from last week.
RESULT: Asuka defeats Shayna Baszler
Lana just took out Nia Jax outside of the ring! Baszler goes to see what's happening and Asuka takes the opportunity to roll up Shayna and get the win. Three in a row!
Shayna Baszler: "Her back's gonna look like her front, and her front is gonna look like her back."
Nia Jax: "Her back is gonna have boobs on it...?"
At least, after these ads for Walmart and how bad vaping is.
WWE Raw Women's Champion Asuka (that still feels satisfying to type) comes to the ring, along with Lana, for a match against one half of the WWE Women's Tag Team Champions Shayna Baszler.
Orton wants a match tonight, but not with The Fiend... he wants one with Bray Wyatt. Wyatt accepts.
Bray appears on the Titantron and addresses Orton directly... in the form of a game show parody. And a funny one at that.
Randy addresses the crowd and tells everyone that he doesn't need a mask to be evil and blah blah blah. Actually, it was a good promo, I'm just feeling snarky.
Oh, hey! Congratulations to Becky Lynch and Seth Rollins on the birth of their child... Roaux, Roo, Ringo, Ricardo. I'll get back to you on that.
The show proper begins with Randy Orton coming to the ring and while he takes his sweet damn time getting there, we get a look at what happened last week.
I love how RETRIBUTION still kept their masks on.
Raw starts out much like SmackDown did last week, with a tribute to Pat Patterson.
Oh, CHICAGO P.D. You're such a.... TV show
We're three minutes away. Let's do this!