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RAW Results 3/26/12 - All Talk, Little Action

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This last RAW before WrestleMania starts with music and pyro.

Tag Team Match – Orton & Sheamus vs D-Bry w/ AJ & Kane

Orton's music and he heads to the ring. The announcers – King, Cole and Booker – talk through Orton facing Kane at WrestleMania. Sheamus out, so they talk about him facing D-Bry at WrestleMania. D-Bry out to the ring with AJ. The fire erupts, the organ music plays and out of the smoke comes Kane. Kane into the ring, only Sheamus and Orton stayed, then Kane calls fire from the corners.

AJ up on the apron and gives D-Bry a kiss. D-Bry and Orton shock up. Shoulder block to D-Bry. D-Bry up and on Orton with kicks. D-Bry runs into a body drop. Orton stomps his way around D-Bry, then tries to drop a knee, but D-Bry moves. D-Bry on Orton with blows, an upper cut, but Orton back with a clothesline for two. Orton pulls D-Bry over and Sheamus tags in, but D-Bry flees and tags out.

Kane and Sheamus lock up. Sheamus backed into a corner, but then reverses Kane into the corner. A knee, then an upper cut on Sheamus, but he reverses and a chop block. Blows on Kane, but into a back elbow. Drop kick to a sitting Sheamus for two. Sheamus whipped, but eats a boot. Sheamus up top and takes Kane down with a shoulder. Sheamus gets hold of Kane, but D-Bry on the apron and Sheamus rushes him. An upper cut and Sheamus out through the ropes. D-Bry off the apron with a knee to Sheamus' face.


D-Bry on Sheamus in a corner with blows and knees, but D-Bry rushes him and Sheamus moves. Both on the mat as Orton spazzes to get in. Orton gets the tag and on D-Bry, then that sick scoop slam. D-Bry through the ropes, then the DDT in what Cole calls 'vintage' Orton. Orton is ready, but Kane pulls D-Bry from the apron. Orton out and on Kane. Kane into the post, but D-Bry with a baseball slide drops Orton. D-Bry stomps Orton outside, then rolls him in. Kane tags in.

Kane stomps on Orton, then blows in a corner. Orton whipped and clotheslined in a corner. Kane gets two. Chinlock on Orton on the mat. Orton struggles to his feet, then free with blows. A knee to Orton's gut. Orton whipped, but gets a knee up. Orton out into Kane's side slam for two. Kane climbs and off the top with a clothesline! Kane readies for his chokeslam, but eats a drop kick! Both others reach for the tag and both get them.

Sheamus on D-Bry with clotheslines, then blows in a corner. Irish curse back breaker. Kane and or in. Sheamus and Orton beat on Kane and double clothesline Kane from the ring. Orton tries for the RKO, but Kane pushes him off and into the post. Sheamus heading for D-Bry, but AJ in between them. The ref gets AJ out of there, but D-Bry ducks the brogue kick. Kane chokeslams Sheamus from the apron. D-Bry pins Sheamus for three.

Winners – D-Bry & Kane

D-Bry celebrates in the ring as AJ looks up longingly at her man.


Rocky attacked Cena at WrestleMania 27 and Miz got the win from it.


Santino w/ Long & Hornswoggle vs Otunga w/ Laurinaitis & Vickie

Cole in the ring puts on a Team Johnny shirt. He says moments ago he was named the official commentator for Team Johnny. Cole says he's announcing the man who, after WrestleMania, will be the GM of RAW and Smackdown. Laurinaitis out and announces the official flag bearer for Team Johnny – Vickie! She comes out with a nice looking flag (compared to Horney's Team Teddy flag). Laurinaitis then announces the team captain, Otunga who comes out and poses. Laurinaitis over and shakes hands with Cole on announce. Booker is pissed, so he's standing on announce and announces that the man who will send Laurinaitis back to his office cubicle, Teddy Long! Long out to the stage and announces his team captain, Santino. Horney follows Santino out with a new flag that looks comparable to Team Johnny's flag.

Santino makes a motion about their heights and locks on a side headlock. Shoulder block to Santino who the fans chant for. Ant acts silly, then takes Otunga down. Santino whipped and tries to float over, but Otunga's not there. Forearm to Santino's back. On with the flag and showboating. Horns in with his flag, but chased out. Otunga hits himself in the head with the flagpole, then eats the cobra for three.

Winner – Santino

Long in to celebrate with Santino, then Laurinaitis in and into Long's face. Santino waves to Long who back Laurinaitis over to Santino who's on all fours. Laurinaitis falls back over him. Off comes his jacket and tie! Santino sets up for the cobra on Laurinaitis, but Miz rushes in and hits his SCF on Santino to get in Laurinaitis' good graces. Laurinaitis grabs a mic and says, "Miz, congratulations for being on Team Teddy. I mean Johnny!" Laurinaitis made quite the little slip there! Miz celebrates and Vickie in with the flag. Video of the end of the match.



Rocky on mic and says he doesn't like Cena, the night after WrestleMania 27. They plan their match for WrestleMania 28.


The announcers talk about the end of an era. It starts with Taker early on in the WWF. Then to Triple H early on. Then Taker is undefeated at WrestleMania. Trip is the Undisputed Champion. Trip is 13 time Champ. HBK's career is over. They face off at WrestleMania 27. Taker took a beating at the hands of Triple H and the victory means nothing. Trip refuses to finish Taker. HBK says Trip can't do what HBK couldn't do. Taker says it's because HBK was always better than Trip. Trip agrees to face Taker, but only in HIAC! Taker again says HBK is better than Trip. HBK holds the end of an era in the palm of his hand. Trip says everything he's been through is for one moment at WrestleMania.


Eve w/ Beth vs Kelly

Before the commercial Eve comes out with Beth in tow. Beth has her hair pulled up in a twist and is wearing a demure but sexy red dress. Kelly out in a orange outfit.

Kelly starts a 'hoeski' chant. Eve eats corner and is pinned for two. Eve kicks at Kelly, then slams her head to the mat. Kelly into the corner and Beth yells in her face. Beth tells Kelly to apologize to Eve. Eve chokes Kelly in the corner, then pins for two. Eve with Kelly's arms pulled back and a chin hold on the mat. Knees to Kelly's gut. Kelly hits her spinning head scissors, then blows on Eve, but Kelly pushed back on the mat and Kelly lands hard. Eve up for her moonsault, but Kelly moves. Kelly badly pins Eve for three.

Winner – Kelly

Beth in to help Eve as Kelly flees and talks smack as she backs up the ramp.


Survivor Series where Rocky and Cena were partners against Miz and R-Truth. They won, but after it was over Cena at a Rock bottom.

Backstage Segment

Punk heading for the ring to face Christian.


Christian vs Punk

Justin announces Christian as "The man who refers to himself at Captain Charisma, Christian!" Christian out with his slightly longer hair, wearing a Team Johnny shirt. Booker asks how you can stay out four months from a sprained ankle? Punk out to huge pop. Jericho is on the tron and demands Punk listen to him. Punk claims to be the best in the world but they know it's not true. He'll beat Punk, become Champ proving Punk as a fraud. Not just a professional fraud, but personal. Punk's father is an alcoholic, his sister is a drug addict. But he dug some more and found out about Punk's mother. There's nothing about her. She's someone in the family who is not an embarrassment. But he did find out that his parents got married after he was born. That makes Punk the legal definition of a bastard.

Punk was watching Jericho so intently that he didn't see Christian coming from behind. Christian takes Punk down, then stomps him. Christian on Punk with blows on the mat. Christian throws Punk out through the ropes. Christian out and is kicked in the leg. Punk then best Christian's head against announce, over and over. A big kick to the side of Christian's head. Punk with elbows over Christian's shoulder and into his chest. Punk moves the stairs, gets Christian up, then wants to know where Jericho is. Punk kind of hit a GTS, but instead of his knee, Christian's face hit the stairs. Then Punk locked on the anaconda as Punk kept yelling, "This is you Jericho!" The refs yelled at Punk to stop, that Christian had had enough, Punk aid he'd say when Christian had had enough. Punk let Christian free, walked off, but then bounces back over and locks on the anaconda again. Punk's music hits as the refs keep Punk back and Christian is tended to. Video recap of the abuse on Christian.

Winner – N/A

Punk poses in the ring with his belt over his head, but his head down. Punk's eyes look haunted as he shakes and seethes.


Announce Segment

King and Cole say Christian might have re-injured his neck, or maybe his shoulder and ankle.

Brodus Clay vs Curt Hawkins

Clay out with his dancers, all three in red. Hawkins is ringside looking very nonplussed.

Clay shimmied, then took down Hawkins. Hawkins on Clay's leg, but then runs into Clay's head. A blow to Hawkins' gut. Clay threw Hawkins back, then splashed for three.

Winner – Clay

Brodus and the girls dance in the ring, shaking and shimmying.


Last month Cena said he didn't respect Rocky. He went off about Rocky leaving, then leaving again. He called Rocky a movie star, but in a derogatory way.


Announce Segment

King and Cole are talking about who is inducting who into the WWE HOF – it's now up on the website.

Big Show vs Primo w/ Epico & Rosa

Big Show out, then a graphic played of his WrestleMania match. Video of Cody attacking Big Show last week after Kane had beat down Big Show. Big Show was cuffed to the ring and Cody beat up Big Show with boxing gloves. The Tag Team Champs out with Rosa. Rosa dances on the apron, then Primo into the ring.

Big Show throws him down, then a big slap to his chest. Primo is again tossed and slapped. Cole says Christian has been removed from Team Johnny due to a re-aggravated neck injury. Primo off the corner, but caught. Choke slam and three.

Winner – Big Show

Rosa on the apron yelling at Big Show, and Epico attacks Big Show from behind. Choke slam to Epico. Cody to the stage and tells Big Show that he won't catch him, it's like a giant water buffalo running down a cheetah, it doesn't happen. Besides, they have their time, this Sunday, WrestleMania. Does that scare Big Show? Time after time Big Show fails. Cody says there's this wonderful quote that says, "It's in the nature of every person to error, but only a fool perseveres in error." That said, after their match they're going to take his name and make him a verb. Students will pray they don't Big Show on their finals. Men going to the bar hope they don't Big Show with the ladies. Even better, I've got to take a Big Show. Big Show is going to Big Show himself when Cody retains his Title on April Fools Day, like every WrestleMania, Big Show will be the biggest fool of them all. Big Show just stares.



Another, longer, promo for Lord Tensai.

Backstage Segment

The Bellas wearing different team shirts, arguing about which team is. Ryder shows up, gets into it with both Bellas. Eve is there and Ryder is trying to make things right. Eve wants to know where Ryder is staying in Miami. She wants him staying at her hotel, but she won't let him kiss her.

Backstage Segment

Punk cuts off Josh, that he wants to know how Punk feels about what Jericho says. He tells Josh to ask Christian. Punk's not off limits, but his family has. Punk says his father has his demons, but he's doing much better now. What he said about his sister is a complete fabrication. What he said about Punk's mother is a lie. He's not a bastard, he's the best wrestler in the world.

Backstage Segment

Split-screen, Khali and Henry heading for the ring, each wearing their team shirts.



Promo for WrestleMania 28.

Henry w/ Laurinaitis vs Khali w/ Long

Henry out to the stage, removes his black t-shirt to show his Team Johnny shirt. Video of Otunga's earlier loss to Santino. Then Laurinaitis got tripped and wanted to fight, but Miz attacked Santino. Khali comes out, in his Team Teddy shirt, with Long in tow. Drew McIntyre will be replacing Christian on Team Johnny.

Laurinaitis on the apron distracts Khali, then Long up distracting Henry. Khali on Henry in a corner with blows. A big chop to Henry. Henry on Khali, but then Khali chops Henry. Henry up and hits his world's strongest slam on Khali.

Winner – Henry

Henry poses over Khali. Henry yells out at Long, then Laurinaitis throws Long into the ring. Long is facing Henry in the ring. Laurinaitis calls out the rest of his team. They line up and stop Team Teddy as they run down to the ring. R-Truth is a late arrival, but Kofi over the top of them all and takes Henry's slam. Long on the mat, but then up and tries to flee. Henry picks up his former manager and parades around with him, but then Booker is in. Booker takes Henry down with some blows then his scissor kick. Long publicly thanks Booker, but thinks the best way to do that is to ask Booker to join Team Teddy. "Now can you dig that, suckah!" Spin-a-roonie and Long gives Booker his Team Teddy shirt. Hugs all around.


Last week Cena faced Henry and finished with an AA. Cena then alerted Henry that Rocky was coming to the ring. Henry took a Rock bottom, then left the ring.


In Ring Segment

Rocky out to the ring. On the way to the ring, stopped, backed up, then slapped hands and woogled the head of a kid all decked out in Cena gear, then Rocky hit the ring and posed for the fans. Rocky calls for a mic. "Rocky!" chants and he smiles slightly. Rocky takes it all in. "Boots to asses!" chants and Rocky points to his shirt. He about to speak and the chants start again.

2004 WrestleMania 20, Rocky competed in what many thought was his last WrestleMania match. Since then he's been asked when he'd return to WrestleMania, to the ring. Always asking when you comin' back? At his doctor, drop your pants, turn your head and cough, when you comin' back?

Rocky knows he is, but not sure when, and I'm not dropping my pants, you're my dentist! Rock's got a freaky dentist.

All the starlets asking him to dominate their delicious pie, and when you comin' back?

I don't know, and cover that thing up Betty White! Trying to give the Rock Civil War pie.

Seven years they asked and he didn't know until last year when the Rock went down to Georgia. Rock walked into the Georgia Dome and the roof came off, he hit the Rock bottom and he knew the wait was over. That next night, in that arena... "Boots to asses!" chants cuts Rocky off.

Right in that arena was the match set. History was made that night because of the fans. In six days finally Rock returns to electrify the fans, the Rock is damn happy to stand there before them and say, "Finally, the Rock has come back to At-lan-ta!" The fans go wild! "Rocky!" chants.

There's only one man the people wanted Rocky to face at WrestleMania who the millions – and millions – of the Rock's fans wanted him to face and that's John Cena. Heat for Cena's name. Rocky listens to the chants.

Rocky's last WrestleMania was Cena's first. Since then Cena's transcended the industry, become the heartbeat of the WWE. Become one of the biggest stars the industry has and will ever see. But make no mistake about it, he has never – and the Rock means NEVER – faced anyone like the Rock.

Lemme tell you what's going to happen this Sunday Jack. The Rock is going to walk down that aisle...

Rocky is cut off by Cena's music. He comes out and tells the camera that it's six days now, that close. Cena to the ring and asks for a mic. Rocky doesn't look impressed. Heat for Cena. Cena asks if Rocky hears that? He's been knocked around a bit, but even he can hear that. He doesn't need a crystal ball to know that that's what will happen at WrestleMania. Happens all the time, so he knows what it looks like. But he's skittish about what the Rock says he never, means never seen anything like the Rock. "Ah, my movie star arch-nemesis, as usual, you're only half right." We'll never see anything like John Cena. Because for a year now he's listened to the best trash talk, from the best trash talker in the business, from the man who defined the Era of Attitude. Rock brought his Mom into the situation, but Cena is where he is every night, happy to be there with a smile on his face. Here's why. Rocky talks trash and is the best, but not the first. "Fruity Pebbles!" chants. Cena says Rocky's not the first, and in that ten year gap, when anyone wanted to make a name for himself, rattle the cage, there was one guy who was thrown into the meat grinder, one guy served to the wolves – Cena. Listen and think about it. How many people have talked trash about Cena? The list is as long and as distinguished as the self professed people's strudel, or holy moses, or Benjamin Franklin or whatever he's calling his penis. Cena holds his mic out to the heat and pop he's getting. Dueling chant for Cena – very obviously women and children against the men. Cena asks Rocky if he sees, just like that moment of electricity that happens when Rock steps into an area, you can't deny the emotion when Cena steps into the ring. Cena says he can sum it up in five words. Let's go Cena. The male fans responded with, "Cena sucks!" Cena then said, "Cena sucks." Cena gets the chant going himself. They're words he's heard for years. An audience divided. Sometimes an audience hostile.

And in any other situation in this business, every single Superstar has turned their back on the WWE 'Universe', he's seen the DVD. Finally there's one man with a set of ideals and an unfaultable resolve that simply just does what the t-shirt says (rise above hate). He rises above and he wins. Man, that's the thing that gets them. The guys that throw everything at him, Rocky, them, everybody. Their best physically. Their best verbally. They drop that Ace and say 'we've got him now!' NOPE. He rises above and he wins. Although there's some there who hate it, they know that he's going to win at WrestleMania. Huge mixed reaction for Cena after that comment. Cena says he meant what he said, he knows they hate it, but they know, as sure as Cena does, that he's going to win at WrestleMania. The fans are hot.

Cena says he wants to throw some truth in Rocky's trash. Did he know that Cena's been an active member of the WWE longer than Rocky? Rocky blew up in the AE, sold out every night, WWE could do no wrong, came back with unbelievable prosperity. Cena's had great moments in the WWE, but he was there when it wasn't so cool to be a WWE Superstar. In the good time and bad, he's the guy who beats the company drum saying this is where he belongs, this is what he's proud of, and this is what he loves. So many people say that now that it's become a cliché, but after ten years of doing this every night, when one guy says it, they know he means it.

That's why at WrestleMania, he has to win. After WrestleMania life goes on for the Rock. Rock stars in GI Joe this summer. Cena is excited too. This role will launch him into a new role of super stardom, but after WrestleMania, Cena's role doesn't change. After WrestleMania, this is still Cena's life.

The past year they've said a lot to each other, so he feels real comfortable saying this to Rocky's face. "I will be god damned if you come in here a visitor, no matter how good you think you are, and take my life!" This got Cena some pop. He says ten years, ten years and everybody knows he's just getting started. Every night he risks his health,you think anybody's going to remember that effort? You think people remember second place? He can't lose! He has to win and they know he has to win. That's why they know he has to win this match more than anything in his entire life! More pop for Cena.

Rocky says he knows how important this match is to Cena, it's just as important to the Rock. But Cena said something, talked about what the people know. Here's the first thing the people know, the people know the Rock is no god damned visitor in the WWE! They know! This house, this office, that is Cena's office, that's Cena's house. This is house is one Rock helped build. Let the Rock tell you what they know. They know Cena's never had an opponent Cena couldn't overcome before the Rock. They know that to Rock this is more than the biggest match of all time. They know it's more than Cena and Rock making history. They know the people's Champion has come back after all these years to beat Cena. That's what drives Rocky. Never before has a man been able to say he walked into WrestleMania and beat Hulk Hogan, beat SCSA, and beat John Cena. On a professional level Rocky needs to beat Cena to become the greatest WWE Superstar of all time. On a personal level, Rock just doesn't like Cena. Because of that, in six days not only is Rock going to beat Cena, but in six days the Rock is going to give Cena the ass kickin' of a lifetime! Cena knows it, Rock knows it, and you can bet your ass that the fans know it too.

Cena takes this in as "Rocky!" chants get very loud. Cena says nice speech. It really fits right here, "It doesn't matter what you think!" Shock from the fans! Cena says he'll tell Rocky what, put this in terms Rocky understands. He's seen this movie a thousand times and he knows how it ends. He's made a living off being the guy you can't see. At WrestleMania Rock will see him standing with his hand raised over Rocky's carcass and the headline will read what Cena already knows 'John Cena whips the Rock's ass at WrestleMania!"

Both mics drop and they get in each others faces talking off mic as the show goes off the air.

Biggest pop

Biggest heat

Most mixed

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