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RAW Results - 5 Moves Of Doom Vs The Fake Voice Of The WWE

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RAW this week starts with a video recap of Big Show's heel turn, including all the carnage he left ringside last week on RAW.

In Ring Segment

The voice of The WWE, Michael Cole, is in the ring says there's one person who's at fault for all Big Show's done. Please welcome that man, John Cena.

Cena is all smiles to the ring. Cole says that Big Show knocked him out twice in 24 hours, but that pales in comparison to what happened last week at Big Show's hand. It could have been prevented if Cena had done the right thing. He could have supported Big Show, but he had to go out and make jokes to Laurinaitis. Cena should be happy with himself?

Cena asks Cole if he still has his My Little Ponies? Of course he does, and of course Cena is proud of himself! He's going to tell Cole what he told the fans, Laurinaitis is a power hungry bully. Let's talk fact – Laurinaitis humiliates, embarrassed Big Show, a man Cena used to call a friend. Then he was out saying Cena didn't support him? He was going to get rid of Laurinaitis, then a new GM to hire Big Show back! Who wouldn't hire the world's largest athlete back?

Cole says that's very arrogant of Cena to say. Big Show didn't know that, it wasn't written in stone. Cena is so self centered, so wrapped up in his ego that he doesn't care about what else is going on! Big Show did what he had to do to feed his family. He took the sure thing, signing with Laurinaitis. Big Show decided it was time to teach Cena and everyone a lesson. He's not a businessman, he's an unstoppable giant. Everyone's feeling it and Cena will in a steel cage at NWO.

Cena says Big Show is a man who decided he wants a wallet the size of his waistline, that's it! Big Show went on tough times and took the easy way out. It's his decision and he has to live with it. Cena didn't turn his back on Big Show, Big Show turned his back on Cena and everyone else.

Cole says that's interesting. Maybe Cena is jealous because Big Show won his match at WrestleMania, that Big Show wasn't a punching back for Brock. Forget it. He's going to couch this by saying he's advocated and supported Cena from day one. He doesn't think Cena's interesting, that he's overrated. He hopes Big Show finally puts us all out of our collective misery. Before Cena gets carried away, you can't strike an announcer, it's strictly prohibited.

Laurinaitis' music hit and King says, "What can be worse than one loudmouth? Two." Laurinaitis rolls out to the stage on his mobility scooter, crutch between his leg, inane and vacant smile on his face as he waves to the fans. "My name is John Laurinaitis, Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and General Manager for RAW and Smackdown." Last week he let Big Show pick his own opponent, so Cena can pick his own tonight. Cena says he chooses Laurinaitis. Before he picks his opponent, Big Show has the night off. Per his new contract, he gets selected days off and this is one. Cena says he wants Laurinaitis. And, after beating Cena at Over The Limit, Laurinaitis has officially retired from one on one singles competition. Anyone else is game.

Cena says, no Big Show and Laurinaitis' too scared to get back in the ring. Laurinaitis says he's retired. Cena says he can pick anybody. It's the first good thing he's done since. No, the first good thing. He wants to face someone. He's scouted him for years and the reports reads that he's not interesting, overrated, and ask JR, he's being shoved down our throats. Greenville, tonight will be extra special as he's facing Michael Cole!

Cole is screaming to Laurinaitis to tell Cena he can't do that. The fans love this, as does King. Cole keeps yelling Johnny, Johnny, Johnny! Laurinaitis shakes his head and turns around, leaving the stage and Cole freaking out. Cena leaves his close friend Cole in the ring freaking.

Backstage Segment

Sheamus is heading for the ring.


Backstage Segment

Cole runs up to Laurinaitis and begs him to stop it. He's been Laurinaitis' biggest advocate. Laurinaitis says everyone'sjob is being evaluated. Cole says no one wants to see Cena beat him up. The fans react with a huge pop. Laurinaitis says they do. Cole needs to go, do his job, then get ready for his match. And stop calling him Johnny.

Slam of The Week – 2 weeks ago

Sheamus ran through Laurinaitis on stage. Then Otunga orders an apology on Smackdown last week, but eats a brogue kick.

Dolph w/ Vickie vs Sheamus (9:10)

Vickie out in a blue and silver dress. EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! Then Cole blows by Vickie, glaring at her on his way by. She introduces Dolph, saying he's better than all of us in all he does. Dolph to the ring in a strange furry vest. Cole is pissy on announce. Sheamus is out to solid pop and many signs.

Dolph ducks Sheamus and is on him with blows. Sheamus backed into a corner, but comes back with blows. Dolph whipped, but back at Sheamus. Dolph rushes Sheamus, is grabbed, but wiggles free. Dolph back up and a rolling senton on Dolph for two. Dolph in the ropes, Sheamus rushes him, but Dolph pulls the ropes and Sheamus out over the top. He pulls Dolph out. Dolph up, but wiggles free before eating post. Dolph sent for the post again, but jumps the stairs. Vickie screeches at Sheamus, distracting him, and Dolph hits a drop kick through the ropes onto Sheamus sending him to the floor.


Dolph om Sheamus, but Sheamus with head butts on Dolph, but then a high knees sends Sheamus to the mat. An arm and head hold on Sheamus as Vickie's boobs loll on the apron. Sheamus to his feet and flips Dolph to the mat. Clotheslines to Dolph. High knee to Dolph, then Dolph slammed to the mat for two. Dolph ducks a short clothesline, then takes Sheamus back down to the mat for two. Both slow moving, then Dolph climbs. Sheamus to his feet and on Dolph with blows. Sheamus climbs, blows to Sheamus' ribs and head. Zig/zag from the top rope for two. Vickie is screaming and Cole thinks she looks gorgeous!

Dolph on Sheamus' back, but flipped to the mat. White noise on Dolph who is now on the mat. Sheamus is all pumped up and a brogue kick for three.

Winner – Sheamus

Video of the brogue kick. Sheamus to the stage, poses for the fans, but ADR attacks from behind. Blows on Sheamus on the stage, but Sheamus is up. Ricardo holds Sheamus legs until he falls. Then ADR stomps Sheamus' head into the angled side of the WWE logo on the stage. ADR hangs Sheamus off the stage in a cross arm breaker. Finally ADR lets go and Sheamus crumbles to the floor. Sheamus is on the floor clutching his arm as ADR stares down at him. Refs over to check on Sheamus.


Backstage Segment

Laurinaitis demands to know where his coffee was. The guy leaves. Otunga comes up and asks if Laurinaitis has seen Laurinaitis doesn't care. Otunga says VKM is returning next week on RAW. Laurinaitis says that's a good thing. Otunga says maybe not, he's coming to give him a job performance evaluation. Laurinaitis gave that pissy, staring down his nose at the world while pursing his lips. Cole, on announce says he understands now, it's not personal, it's Laurinaitis doing his job!

Sin Cara vs Hunico w/ Camacho (2:33)

Sin Cara out in white and red. Hunico and Camacho to the ring on their low rider.

Hunico on Sin Cara with kicks and blows. Sin Cara bounces around. Then bounces around on the ropes, sending Hunico flying. Sin Cara sends Hunico outside and flies in a hurricanranna. Back in Hunico gains control, then hits a back breaker for one. Chin lock on Sin Cara. Sin Cara up in the rack, but reverses out and sends Hunico flying. Hunico loses control. A a hurricanranna from up top, then Sin Cara bounces off the ropes to send 'Universe' flying, then again with a back elbow. Flying head scissors sends Hunico down hard on his face for three.

Winner – Sin Cara

Video recap of end of the match. Sin Cara leaves the ring, slapping hands. Ryback is up next.

WWE Rewind

Ryback taking apart wrestlers in a montage, then he yells, "Bring me more!"


RAW 1000 – Greatest Moments

St. Louis, Missouri, JR announcing. Cena says his first night on RAW was the best. Jericho announced his guest would be the #1 Draft to RAW – Cena! Cena talks about it, glowing. It made the WWE Magazine.

Ryback vs Stan Stansky & Arthur Rosenberg (1:55)

Stansky and Rosenberg are in the ring. They talk in unison – BADLY! Actually, they're kind of cute, but still have no chance. Ryback out the ring.

Ryback sends Rosenberg flying – almost above the camera shot! Then Stansky is tossed at him. Rosenberg for a delayed, marching, then he hits the mat. Ryback tells him to get up and throws him into a corner. Stansky thrown at him. Ryback splashes both, then double clothesline. Ryback calls for the finish. Rosenberg, then Stansky up, Ryback marches, then plants them. Rosenberg on the bottom, Stansky on top, and then pinned.

Winner – Ryback (duh)

Video recap of almost every move, then Ryback was yelling, "Bring me more!"


Punk vs Kane (13:39)

Punk out to the ring to huge pop! Cole is on his cell with Laurinaitis trying to get out of his match. He was begging and was hung up on! Bryan out yelling "YES!" "YES!" "YES!" Bryan grabs a mic and stands on announce. He says before this match starts they need some Q&A time with Bryan. Has AJ gone delusional since he dumped her? "YES!" Will Kane completely destroy Punk tonight? "YES!" At NWO will Bryan be the new WWE Champ? "YES!" "YES!" "YES!" Fire erupts and out comes Kane! Bryan is ringside to watch this match. Kane calls fire from all four corners.

They lock up, Punk backed into a corner. Blows on Punk who is then stomped down. Kane slams Punk face first into a corner. Blows on Punk who gets tied in the tag rope, then free. Punk whipped, but gets a foot up. Punk kicks Kane in the head, then clotheslines him from the ring. Punk flies out onto Kane. Kane rolled in, Punk climbs and flies with a cross body for two.

Kicks from Punk, but then a knee too Punk. A drop kick to Punk on the mat for two. Cole talks about Punk and Bryan battling in the indies. Kane gets Punk in the corner and leaves the ring to attack from outside. Kane drops elbows over and over on Punk on the mat for two. Kane slams Punk to the mat, then drops a leg for two. Body scissors on Punk, then Kane wrenches Punk's head back to round out the hold. Punk elbows Kane's leg to get free. Forearms to Kane, then kicks to the legs. More blows, but then Kane grabs Punk. Punk free, then back on Kane with kicks. Kane grabs Punk and tosses him into the corner from close range, but Punk ends up going over the top and out.


Punk up on Kane with a sleeper. Kane free and a back suplex on Punk for two. Chin lock on Punk on the mat. Punk to sitting, then starts elbowing. Punk to his feet and free. Sidewalk slam from Kane for two.

Kane climbs, but Punk runs up with his high knee! Both on the mat. Punk hits the running knee again, this time with the bulldog, but only got two. Punk climbs and flies with a clothesline for two. Punk is frustrated, sets up for GTS, but Kane free and a big boot on Punk for two.

Kane is ready, hand out, but Punk reverses into a swinging neck breaker! Bryan watches closely. Punk climbs, but Kane with a big right. Kane climbs, but Punk with blows and Kane falls. Punk readies, back to his feet, points up and hits his Savage elbow for a LONG two.

Baseball slide on Kane outside. Punk on Kane, but Kane throws Punk into the barrier right next to Bryan. Punk up and to his feet by the apron. Bryan kicks Punk, the ref doesn't see it. Kane bring Punk into the ring. Kane sets up for a chokeslam, but Punk kicks out with a kick to Kane's head. AJ runs to the ring, tries to tell the ref that Bryan was involved. Bryan over to AJ, yelling at her. They argue until Punk flies through the ropes onto Bryan, then slams him back into the barrier a couple times yelling "YES!" "YES!" "YES!" each time he does it. Punk back in and each a chokeslam for three.

Winner – Kane

AJ in and to Punk's side, then Kane sees her and she backs into the corner, sitting on her bum, but Bryan attacks Kane from behind. AJ doesn't flee the ring. Kane takes care of Bryan, then turns back to AJ. AJ to her feet and tucks her hair behind her ear and gives Kane doe eyes. Kane looks almost smitten before turning to leave. AJ then quirked her head in a strange, slightly crazy way, then rushes to Punk's side. Bryan looks in at this with a very confused look on his face.


Backstage Segment

AJ is walking along and Josh walks up to her and asks about the look between her and Kane in the ring. She asked what look. Josh said she was petrified, then she smiled. AJ takes Josh's tie and says she likes when guys look at her. "Look at me!" She says he seems uncomfortable. Doesn't he like aggressive women? She does. She keeps fondling his tie and looking at him very closely. "You just might be my type." AJ says, then Josh quickly ducks away. AJ stares off into space a bit, giving a variety of facial expressions, but none actually connected to anything.


Cena picking Cole to face later in the show. Cole wasn't happy, Cena was all smiles. At announce King wants to see Cole's game face. Cole asks everyone to Tweet Laurinaitis and go to his FB page to change Laurinaitis' mind.


Big Show saying he doesn't care about being liked. It's all empty garbage his legacy is being a fool. A big smiling freak who made everybody happy. They have Big Show talking about all over this over Big Show being silly in the past. Now he doesn't care about anybody's feelings. 18 years of being suppressed, of holding back, of doing what everyone else wanted him to do. He's not an entertainer, not someone who makes people happy. He's a giant.

Kofi & R-Truth vs Tyler Reks & Kurt Hawkins (4:36)

Kofi and R-Truth to the ring, Kofi limping a bit. Tey pose for the fans and get some pop.


Kofi and Hawkins are locked up. Kofi's ribs are taped. Shoulder block drops Kofi. Hawkins runs the ropes into a back elbow for two. R-Truth tags in and they double hip toss, Hawkins, then Kofi kicks him in the chest. R-Truth dances, then drops a leg for one.

Reks tags into a drop toe hold, then a flying elbow. Poke to Reks' eye, then blows in a corner. Hawkins got involved on the apron, then Reks pulls R-Truth down and pounds on R-Truth on the mat. Hawkins tags in and on R-Truth' ribs. Reks tags in and stomps R-Truth' ribs. R-Truth fights back with blows, then a back kicks to Reks. Both are down.

Kofi off the top on Hawkins. Clotheslines, drop kick, then Kofi hits a boom drop. Kofi is feeling it, but is distracted by Reks. Kofi gets back in the groove with a cross body, but Reks in and on Kofi. R-Truth takes Reks out. Trouble in paradise for three. (The time is approximate as the match started during the commercial.)

Winners – Kofi & R-Truth

Video of the high points of the match. Kofi and R-Truth celebrating in the ring.

Backstage Segment

Cena heading to the ring. King says the voice of the WWE is about to be silenced. The camera shows Cole with his head in his hands.


1000 RAW – Greatest Moments

Trip says for him it's when he returned from his quad injury. He was out for nine months, returned at MSG after being told he might never step in the ring again. It was a surreal moment. He was worried about hearing crickets, but the roar of the crowd was amazing. He doesn't think he's felt that amped up in his life. It's something he'll never forget.

Cena vs Cole (9:17)

Cena to the ring, Cole still at announce saying this won't happen. Laurinaitis came out to the stage and stopped it. Laurinaitis says it's clear that everyone wants to see Cena versus Cole. In the spirit of People Power, Big Johnny over delivers. This will be a No DQ Match, provided Cena is victorious against this man. Tensai's music plays.

Cena vs Tensai (9:02)

Sakamoto out, then Tensai out, pushes Sakamoto aside, then heads for the ring with Sakamoto in tow. Cena's shirt comes off and the women cheer.

Tensai on Cena with a back elbow, then blows in a corner. Tensai tells Cena to get up. Cena pulled up, then a head butt drops him. Tensai tries to choke Cena on the bottom rope, but Cena is almost ½ on the apron. Cena slung up into the ropes. They exchange blows. Cnea on top and clotheslines Tensai from the ring.

Cena out and sense Tensai into the ring, but Sakamoto attacks outside while the ref tends Tensai.


Tensai wrenching on Cena's head, but he gets free. Cena eats a clothesline. Cena into a corner, then whipped to the opposite and splashed. Cole is loving this. Tensai yelling down at Cena. Dueling chants for Cena. Cena whipped, but gets his feet up, then bulldog. Cena grabs Tensai, but then Tensai on Cena's arm and slams him down for two.

Vulcan nerve pinch on Cena, then a head butt. Cena out of the ring. Tensai after and Cena eats announce. Cole slaps Cena and King gets up in Cole' face, yelling at him. Blow then head butt to Cena over the ropes. Cena falls to the floor. Tensai sends Cena into the stairs shoulder first. Cole to his feet and King yelling at him to sit down. Cole yelling smack down at his friend while King yells at Cole to sit down. Cole says it's all about Cena. The ref is counting, but Cena makes it in. double chicken win slam on Cena for two. Cena moves out of the way of the back splash. Shoulder blocks to Tensai, then Sakamoto knocks off the apron. Tensai slammed. 5 knuckle shuffle and Cole looks green! Tensai up and eats an AA for three.

Winner – Cena

Cena poses, as Cole looks like he's about to cry. Cena turns and looks to Cole who says he didn't mean any of it.

The ref calls for the bell and King tells him it's time for his match. Cena is waiting in the ring. King says he's heard JR say it before, it's a good thing Cole' wearing dark pants because... Cole flees into the stands. Cena gives chase grabs him, give him a noogie. Over the barrier. Before Cena can get to him Cole tries to flee again.

In the ring Cole says, on mic, they don't have to do it this way. They go way back, been great friends. Supported Cena his entire career. They don't have to do it this way, they can shake, like what friends do. Cena is laughing. Off comes Cole's jacket. Cole is made about them thinking it's funny. Off comes the tie. He knows how it felt when Laurinaitis pinned him, now for Cole to do it. "Need I remind you who I am? My name is Michael Cole and don't you forget it!"

Cena says they'll remember him as the guy who got his ass kicked. Cena rips Cole's shirt for a chop, then Cole's pants are ripped off. Cole's family jewels are stomped. Cena shushed the fans for the slap to the chest, the way Big Show did. Charles Robinson, the ref for these two matches, cringes at the chop.

Cena grabs a mic and Cole in a headlock and says that match at WrestleMania was a joke, King whipped Cole and he knows it. He need to apologize. Cole says he's sorry, over and over to King. Cena says he owes an apology to the man he drove off announce. He knows JR is watching at home. Cole says JR is his mentor, he's sorry, he's sorry, he's sorry. Cena says he loves JR's BBQ sauce. Cole says JR's BBQ sauce is slobberknocker good. The ref is trying not to laugh too hard at Cole. Cena wished they had some. King says he keeps some at announce and holds up three bottles with a smile. Cena pops Cole in the head with the mic and grabs two of King's three bottles. Cena pours BBQ sauce all over Cole in the ring. King says he's sorry, he gave him the spicy sauce, then laughs.

Cena goes out, gets a fire extinguisher. "YES!" "YES!" "YES!" "YES!" from the fans.

Cena uses the fire extinguisher on Cole, then set him up for an AA. There's a huge dribble of BBQ sauce running down Cena's spine that looked very cool! But then Cena drops Cole as Tensai grabs him and hits a really horrible looking sit down power bomb on Cena (Cena seemed to land on his bum, rather than taking it all spread out on his back.

Cole pins Cena, thinking he has Cena, but Cena kicks out! Cole over slapping at Cena about what he did to Cole. Cole grabs the extinguisher, and rushed Cena. Cena ducks, then grabs Cole for an AA for the three.

Winner – Cena

Cena poses, gets love from the fans, then sneaks around the ring, chasing Cole down with the fire extinguisher again. Cena finishes the rest of the extinguisher off on Cole, but it's leaking badly and there's very little left.


Promo for VKM returning to RAW and giving Laurinaitis a personal performance review. Judgement will be passed starting 8, 7 Central, only on USA!

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