WWE Raw Results (8/1/16)
Monday, August 1st, 2016
From the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, GA
Report by Zack Krasney of WrestlingNewsWorld.com
Hello all my little darlings out there! Welcome back to Wrestling News World's coverage of Monday Night Raw! The NEW Monday Night Raw. Or as I call it, the new "New Era" which is absolutely rubbish, they should fix that. Anywho! We officially have a new championship for Raw the....Universal Championship. We have two challengers set, Seth Rollins and Finn freakin Balor! We also have a new Women's Champion in Sasha Banks! Raw didn't just hit a homerun last week, they hit a grand slam. We will find out this week if they are able to maintain that massive momentum moving forward!
Question of the Week: Do you like the name "The Universal Championship" if not, what would you name a new World Title?
Monday Night Raw
Raw starts off like a Boss! Sasha Banks heads to the ring and holds up her new Women's Championship!
Sasha- You guys, thank you! It's about time Raw popped off with a Banks Statement. The new Women's Champion, the Boss! Last year at NXT Takeover Brooklyn the WWE Universe went home talking about Bayley and the Boss. Because we stole the show, we owned the show! This year won't be any different, the reign of the Boss has just begun. I'm going to kick off my title reign with a W at SummerSlam against Charlotte. I didn't---
Charlotte's music cuts her off and she makes her way out to the ring.
Charlotte- There was a fly! I didn't tap out!
Sasha- Charlotte are you ok you look different! I can't seem to put my finger on it *taps the title* Oh that's right I made you tap out. Where's your little friend? Where is Toto?
Charlotte- Get over yourself. I don't need Dana to beat you, I don't need my dad to beat you. I mean I'm sure he's vacationing in a retirement home. I will beat you by myself. I was the very best for over 300 days. Sweetheart you capitalized on one mistake. It's one thing to bring home the prom king, it's another to get him to put a ring on it. That's what you are...a one night stand.
Sasha- A one night stand? Sweetheart, you're the daughter of Ric Flair. If it wasn't for a one night stand you probably wouldn't be standing here.
Chris Jericho- Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. I said quiet! Quiet Sasha you ungrateful disrespectful little punk! I was just minding own business when I heard you talking to Charlotte like that! She's royalty! She looks like a princess right now! She may be Ric Flair's daughter, but she's outdone anything Ric has done in his career. I mean who has Ric Flair ever beat right? But I know who Charlotte is going to beat at SummerSlam. You. Besides what makes you a boss? Are you my boss? Are you gonna tell me what to do. You going to make my hours? Pay my salary? You're only a boss of purple haired teenage bopper idiots! Maybe you're a boss because your brothers, cousins, uncle's butcher is Snoop Dogg. You're not a boss you're a brat.
Enzo Amore's music hits and the certified G comes out- MY NAME IS ENZO AMORE AND I AM A CERTIFIED G AND A BONAFIDE STUD AND YOU CAN'T TEACH THAT! BADA BOOM REALEST GUY IN THE ROOM HOW YOU DOIN! Sash, for real, how you doin? So listen, normally I come out here with my 7 foot friend but 3's a crowd and I like doing business for myself. I'm a G you're a boss, more like a bauce BAUCE! Let me be frank, I got that hot sauce. I'd like to do a little business. Maybe the Bank of Sasha is taking certified G deposits. How you doin?
Sasha- How you doin?
Enzo- How you doin?
Sasha- How you doin?
Enzo- How you doin?
Sasha- How you doin?
Enzo- How you doin?
Sasha- How you doin?
Enzo- How you doin?
Charlotte- Woah woah woah, oh no Sasha go for it sister! Rumor has it when comes to Enzo's love life there is only one word to describe it!
Jericho- Want me to spell it out for you?
Sasha- What do we got here?
Enzo- Coupla hatas coupla hatas. Jericho listening to you speak is like passing a kidney stone. Watching you hold that mic and try and come up with words is like texting on an iPhone and seeing the three dots jumping. And I'm just anticipating and then you never hit send.
Jericho- Listen here you hip hop hobit, I'm gonna tell you this one time. You better watch it.
Enzo- Watch what?
Enzo- Watch what, my mouth? Me thinking before I speak is like whipping my rear end before I poop. Besides, IT Bon Jovi, IT is my life. This ain't a direct TV commercial so we don't have the power to turn back time! Besides if I did I would help you and go back to when you bought that scarf.
Sasha- How you doin?
Jericho- I don't care how anyone is doing!
Mic Foley's music hits and out comes the GM!
Mic- I do care how they're doing. I may not be The Boss, but I sure as hell am YOUR boss. I'm going to tell you exactly what's gonna happen. That guy right there is Enzo Amore! He's a certified G, I'm the certified GM! I'm wearing cheetah print, we're practically family! And Sasha Banks last week set the bar mighty high! With her victory over Charlotte, one of the most exciting matches I've ever see and a great way to kick off the new era. Personally I can't wait to see Charlotte and Sasha square off again and that's why it's going to happen tonight. It's a new era so we're going to have our first mixed tag team match of the new era. It'll be Chris Jericho and Charlotte vs. Enzo Amore and the NEW Women's Champion, Sasha Banks. That match not only happens right here in Atlanta! But it takes place right now! How you doin!
Enzo and Sasha Banks vs. Chris Jericho and Charlotte
Kevin Owens joins the announce team. Enzo and Chris start things off, Jericho locks in a headlock. Enzo with an arm drag, and another! Jericho runs over to Charlotte and grabs her. It counts as a tag and Sasha rolls up Charlotte for 2. Backslide by Charlotte but only 2. Charlotte tries for chops but Sasha reverses it and hits some of her. Sasha with double knees but only 2! Jericho tags in but Enzo hits a crossbody from the top rope. Enzo and Sasha clothesline Jericho and Charlotte over the top rope then both hit a suicide dive! We head to break.
We return with Jericho stomping Enzo in the corner. Enzo counters a bulldog from Jericho, throwing him into the corner. Crossbody from Enzo, then a modified neckbreaker. Enzo tries a missile dropkick but it's caught and turned into Walls of Jericho! Enzo makes it to the ropes. Enzo to the top rope but Jericho catches him mid-air with a dropkick! Sasha and Charlotte tag in! Sasha takes down Charlotte and hits the knees to the ribs of Charlotte! 2 count! Sasha hits the Backstabber but Dana runs out for the distraction. Charlotte tries a roll-up but Sasha rolls it through. Jericho runs in and causes Sasha to break the hold, Banks smacks Jericho hard! Charlotte kicks Sasha in the back of the leg and hits the Natural Selection for the win.
Winners: Jericho and Charlotte
Jericho kicks Enzo and talks trash, but Big Cass comes out to make the save.
Braun Strowman vs. Local Jobber
Before the match Byron asks the guy why he'd fight Strowman, he responds because he needs the money. Braun picks this guy up straight then throws him clear across the ring. Running shoulder tackle through the jobber and then a massive splash in the corner. Reverse Chokeslam for the win.
Winner: Braun Strowman
Steph and Mic are talking when Mark Henry walks in. Apparently, he is the Olympic Ambassador for WWE. He says he wants to open the Hall of Pain back up. Steph says that she really only wanted him to be a mentor now. He says he wants one more run in WWE. Mic decides to give him what he wants and puts Mark in United States Championship match against Rusev tonight!
Golden Truth vs. Shinning Stars
Goldust and Primo start things off. Goldust starts off strong but Primo and Epico start to take control because R-Truth is playing Pokemon Go on the apron. Goldust tries to make a tag but Truth walks off. Truth drops his phone and it allows Epico to hit his finisher for the win.
Winner: Shinning Stars
Michael Cole welcomes Finn Balor to the ring.
Cole- Raw shocked the WWE Universe when you were drafted first round. You proved that it wasn't a wasted pick.
Balor- You are right, a wild week for me. I knew when I was drafted that I had to make an impact! I knew coming here meant a lot of things---
Seth Rollins' music cuts Finn off and Rollins makes his way to the ring.
Rollins- Take a hike Cole. My opponent for SummerSlam! Finn Balor! Let me tell you about Finn. He is a former NXT Champion. Not the first, that was Seth Rollins, thank you. Finn was a first round draft pick, not first overall, that was me! First night on Raw, he shocked the world when he pinned Roman Reigns. That's great, but I had a career threatening injury and my first night back I pinned Roman Reigns for the WWE Championship. You're like a bad Hollywood remake of me. Like Star Trek or Ghostbusters. I'm OG Bill Murray and you're Melissa McCarthy.
Finn- Seth are you done? You know, some of the things you say are true. You were the first to do a lot of things, but at SummerSlam I'm gonna beat you and become the first ever Universal Champion!
Seth-I mean I know I called you Melissa McCarthy but you're not an actual comedian! It's like the Atlanta Braves winning the World Series, it's just never gonna happen. I mean you created a helluva a legacy down in NXT. The bottom line is, look around, this is Monday Night Raw. My show! My ring! I am the man around here.
Finn- I watch Raw a lot and I used to think your laugh was annoying but in person it's horrible! You know every place I've been there is someone exactly like you saying "I'm the man." You know what I'd do? Beat them and become the man!
Seth- Well you've never faced anyone like me. I am strong, I am faster, I'm the best in the history of this company and you don't know who you're messing with! If you want an idea, why don't you go on the WWE Network and check out the sweet special they did on me. Or watch my match tonight against your friend Sami Zayn.
Finn- You know we are similar in a lot of ways, but the one big difference is last week I earned my shot at the Universal Championship and you had your spot handed to you.
Seth- You think it was handed to me? I've earned everything I've done in my career and at SummerSlam you're going to learn who the man really is! The only thing that's going to be handed to me is the Universal Championship after I beat you!
Finn- The only thing you're going to have handed to you at SummerSlam is your ass!
Seth goes for a cheap shot but Balor blocks it and hits a kick to the gut and a Pele kick to knock Seth out of the ring.
Rusev vs. Mark Henry for the UnitedStatesChampionship
They go for a test of strength but Henry wins easily. Henry throws Rusev across the ring. Mark with a powerslam. Headbutt from Henry that sends Rusev out of the ring. Rusev runs in and fights Henry back with some strong shots to the head but Mark hits back hard. Rusev gets hung up on the second rope and Mark leaps at him and goes through the second rope while colliding with Rusev. We head to commercial.
We return and Rusev is trying to lock in the Accolade. Henry fights out of it and hits a clothesline on Henry. Mark misses with a boot and Rusev hits a spinning heel kick. Rusev kicks Henry in the back of the neck. Rusev locks in the Accolade and Henry taps out.
Winner via Submission: Rusev
Rusev- This is the hero that represents you at the Olympics? The only reason Americans win is because the Olympics are rigged. America doesn't deserve to win at Rio and no one will take this title away from me! I am the Super Athlete. I--
Roman's music hits and the Big Dog makes his way to the ring! Roman gets in the face of Rusev. Rusev tries to walk away but Roman gets right back in his face. Rusev tries again and is blocked again. Rusev hits a cheap shot and beats down Roman for a minute but then Roman hits a huge clothesline on Rusev! Roman goes for the Superman Punch but Rusev rolls out of the ring. Roman slides out too and launches himself from the stairs and hits a MASSIVE Superman Punch. Rusev retreats as Roman looks at the US Title.
Darren Young w/Bob Backlund vs. Titus O'Neil
Darren puts Titus in the corner but Titus comes out of the corner hard and hits a huge shoulder tackle. Titus offers Darren a hand but Darren slaps it away. Titus puts Darren in the corner and smacks him. Darren tries a crossbody off the middle rope but Titus catches him and drops Darren on his knee. Big splash by Titus in the corner. Titus locks in a submission on the shoulder of Darren. Huge smack to the chest of Darren. Darren kicks Titus and fights with some wild punches but Titus shuts him down quickly. Titus picks Darren Young and drops him hard on the mat. 2 count. Darren gets put in another submission but he fights out, only to get powerslammed hard to the mat. Darren tries to counter the Spinbuster but Titus swats him off. Darren goes for the Gut Check but Titus reverses it and rolls up Darren. Titus grabs the tights and gets the win!
Winner: Titus O'Neil
Mic and Steph are talking. She got him a tablet to help him organize things. Sheamus walks in and asks why Henry gets a United States Title match when Sheamus was overlooked. Cesaro walks in and says it's because the millions in the Cesaro section don't want to see him. Mic and Steph say that they watched the WWE Network and saw both men complain about their spot in the draft and that Cesaro didn't even want to be on Raw. Mic says he wanted to draft Cesaro in the top 5 for Raw, but he saw the injury report that says Cesaro's shoulder is still a question mark. If he wants to erase that question mark go out there and prove it! They can have a match tonight and the winner gets a future championship match.
Titus is being yelled at by Bob Backlund. Titus tells Bob to shut up or he will knock his ass out. Darren runs out of nowhere and blindsides Titus and tells him no one threatens his mentor.
Nia Jax vs. Local Jobber
Nia shuts down the other girl fast. She throws her across the ring. The girl goes for a crossbody and Nia slams her to the mat mid-air. Nia drops an elbow then picks the girl up and hits a Samoan Drop for the win.
Winner: Nia Jax
AWWWWWW A-T-L DON'T YOU DARE BE SOUR!
Kofi- Now we all saw what happened last week on Raw Gallows and Anderson jumped us like a couple of bald cowards. For some reason, they followed a complaint against US and so one member of New Day will be banned from ringside.
Big E- And who made this decision?!
All- Who?! Who! Who?!
Woods- Regardless of who made it. New Day had to play an extreme round of pick the fruit. I unfortunately picked the fruit that didn't match. *They put the oranges together and Woods holds the banana on top* Actually that's too much. Too far. Anderson and Gallows, because of your actions I can't wrestle in front of my friend and family who are here tonight in Atlanta! Alas, I can chill backstage and eat a big bowl of Booty-O cereal.
Big E- Which you can pre-order at FYE and FYE.com. It's a real thing.
Kofi- Preorder it. It's real. Serious, we need the money.
Big E- And as Gucci famously said when he was released from Fulton County prision....NEW DAY ROCKS! NEW DAY ROCKS!
New Day (Kofi and Big E) vs. Gallows and Anderson
Big E and Anderson start off. Big E blasts Anderson as he's waving goodbye to Woods. E puts Karl in the corner and charges at him but Karl gets a knee up. Anderson punches Big E, but then runs into a Belly to Belly from E. Gallows runs in but E moves and Kofi pulls down the ropes. Big E goes for a tag but Gallows pulls Kofi off the apron. Anderson and Gallows go for 2 Sweet but Karl gets rolled up!
Winners: New Day
Anderson and Gallows continue the attack on Big E and Kofi. Woods runs out and attack but Gallows and Anderson have the numbers now. They take out Woods. The Club gets back in the ring and hit not one, but two, Boot of Dooms on Big E. They stand tall in the ring, when Woods tries to fight again, pulling Anderson out of the ring. Gallows grabs Woods by the hair and it allows Anderson to hit a running knee that knocks out Woods. Anderson and Gallows start to leave but then turn around and grab Big E. They each grab a leg and pull him into the steel post.
Cesaro vs. Sheamus
They lock up and push each other around the ring. Cesaro able to get the arm of Sheamus but Sheamus fights out. Uppercut from Cesaro, then from Sheamus, then Cesaro, then Sheamus, then Cesaro. Sheamus hits a running axe handle. Cesaro gets up and puts Sheamus in the corner and hits a barrage of uppercuts. Cesaro starts the uppercut train but Sheamus rolls out of the ring. Cesaro goes to the top rope and hits the bowling ball off the apron! Sheamus starts to get up and throws Cesaro into the steel post. Sheamus slams Cesaro onto the apron. Sheamus hammers away at Cesaro and then hits the 10 Beats and a clothesline. Sheamus to the top rope hits a shoulder tackle from the top! 2 count. Sheamus goes for a suplex but Cesaro counters and picks Sheamus straight up. Sheamus catches Cesaro and hits the rolling senton. Sheamus talks trash but Cesaro hits a headbutt! Springboard Corkscrew Uppercut! Cesaro signals for the Swing but Sheamus kicks Cesaro to break out. Sheamus goes for White Noise but Cesaro counters and puts Sheamus in the Neutralizer for the win!
We return from break and Cesaro and Sheamus are being pulled apart. Apparently during the commercial break Sheamus attacked Cesaro and the two have been going at it all break.
Heath- Yeah let them fight baybay! Ladies and gentlemen I want you to say hello one of my best friends! Jinder Mahal! 2MB is gonna rock this place!
Mic Foley comes out- This is interesting because neither one of you is actually on the Raw roster, but you have given me an idea. How about a battle of the band! The two of you face each other right here right now.
Heath- You can't split up the band!
Mic- Well the Raw roster is STACKED and I only have 1 spot available right now so winner gets a contract.
Heath- You think you can split us up by dangling a little contract between us?
Jinder tells the ref to ring the bell and hits a big boot on Heath and pins him.
Mic- Welcome to Raw!
Jericho is being interviewed by Tom "They make me do the splits" Phillips backstage. Jericho talks about his beef with Enzo and Cass, but says he has someone to watch his back, too! Phillips asks who and Jericho makes up a fake name when Kevin Owens walks up. He says everyone knows Chris just made up a name, but it's ok because Owens has his back.
Seth Rollins vs. Sami Zayn
They lock up and Rollins gets Sami in the corner. Rollins stomps Zayn down but the ref pulls Seth off Sami. Sami with a springboard over Rollins and a heel kick. Chops from Zayn and Seth rolls out to catch his breath. Sami runs right at Seth but eats a kick to the gut. Seth whips Sami at the barricade but Sami leaps onto it and hits a moonsault! Sami rolls Seth back in the ring but Seth rolls out again. Seth grabs Sami and throws him into the barricade successfully this time, then does it again for good measure. Back in the ring Seth whips Zayn at the corner but Sami counters and gets on the top turnbuckle. Seth is able to throw himself against the ropes to knock Sami down off the top turnbuckle. Seth knocks Sami from the top turnbuckle onto the floor as we head to break.
We return and Rollins has Zayn in a headlock. Slingblade from Rollins. Rollins talks trash but Sami rolls up Rollins. Rollins kicks out at 2 but Sami is right on him with right hands. Rollins is able to hit the BuckBomb but can't hit the follow up kick because Sami hits a wicked clothesline! Sami runs into a boot but Sami hits the michinoku driver! Sami goes for the Blue Thunder Bomb and connects! 2 count! Seth tries to get out of the ring but Sami won't let him. Seth hits an enziguri. Seth goes to pick up Zayn but Sami grabs the hand of Rollins and runs up the ropes to hit a tornado DDT! Sami lines up the Helluva kick but Rollins rolls out of the ring. Sami leaps over the top rope and takes out Rollins! Sami rolls Rollins back in and goes to the top rope. Rollins counters with a kick to the gut and tries for the Pedigree! Sami counters and tries the Helluva kick but misses and Seth turns it into a Pedigree!
Winner: Seth Rollins
Paul- Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman. I know for the last 3 hours you have been waiting for the single biggest box office attraction in sports to make his way down that ramp, to which I will waste no more of your time. The Beast of the Broctagon, the Slayer of the Viper, Brock Lesnar!
Brock makes his way down to the ring.
Paul- Ladies and Gentlemen, on August 21st at SummerSlam my client Brock Lesnar will entertain you. What did Paul Heyman just say Brock will, of all things, entertain you? Yes, this is not the same kind of entertainment that is marketed to you, Brock Lesnar's form of entertainment is politically incorrect and dare I say the word..violent. I know I'm not supposed to use that word but I stand next to Brock Lesnar which means I can say anything I want to say! For example, Brock Lesnar is not here to help the new era, the new era needs to step up to Brock Lesnar! He isn't here to impress Mic Foley or Stephanie McMahon or any single member of the Raw locker room, or the Smackdown locker room. That goes especially for Randy Orton. You've heard of this Randy Orton haven't you Brock, he's a 12 time champion, the master of the RKO, they say that Randy Orton is 1 RKO away from victory at any moment. That if he hits it at SummerSlam it will shock the world, like Brock shocked the world at WrestleMania when he beat the Undertaker's streak. I wonder where he gets these ideas, maybe it's the voices in his head. How many of those voices say that Brock Lesnar is gonna beat your ass at SummerSlam and drag you down to Suplex City. If your voice are telling you that, and you're not listening to them, listen to my voice. Listen to the wise old Jew, Brock Lesnar is going to beat your ass at SummerSlam. Now Randy Orton, let's take a victory out of the equation, maybe you survice though. Maybe you're healthy enough to fight against before 2016 is over. The only chance you have is the RKO, but you're not going hit it at SummerSlam. You're not man enough to land an RKO--
Orton hits an RKO out of NOWHERE! Randy taunts Heyman and Brock and then books it out and through the crowd. Steph and Mic Foley come down with security but Orton is already gone!
Keep reloading throughout the night for updated results or Ric Flair won't believe in you :(