WWE Raw Results (8/8/16)
Monday, August 8th, 2016
From the Honda Center in Anaheim, CA
Report by Zack Krasney of WrestlingNewsWorld.com
AWWWWWW WRESTLING NEWS WORLD! DON'T YOU DARE BE SOUR! CLAP FOR YOUR MONDAY NIGHT RAW RESULTS AND FEEEEEL THE POWWWWERRRR!! I hope everyone out there is feeling good and ready for some Monday Night Raw! Tonight Daniel Bryan has been invited to Raw, Bryan has accepted so we will see the American Dragon. We're also going to get an appearance from Puff Daddy...hold back your excitement.
Question of the Week: Who would you rather see win the Universal Championship at SummerSlam Finn Balor or Seth Rollins?
Monday Night Raw
Enzo and Cass start off Raw!
Enzo- My name is Enzo Amore and I am a certified G and a bonafide stud and you can't teach that! And this right here is Big Cass and he's 7 feet tall and you can't teach that! Bada boom realest guys in the room! How you doin!? So last week I came out here as a G. I was spitting some game to the WWE Women's Champ, how you doin?
Cass- And she was loving it
Enzo- No doubt, she was smittin.
Cass- Like catnip to a kitten.
Enzo- I ain't got no crystal ball but I had it in the bag.
Cass- Your bunsen burner was on fire.
Enzo- Then Bon Jericho wants to come out here and rob me of a home run. This guy comes out and hits me with a codebreaker. The only code you broke was the man code wearing a scarf with no shirt, how you doin?!
Enzo- You made me baby burp, for those who don't know that means I threw up in my mouth a little. You call yourself the ayatollah of rock and rolla? Well someone should have told you me and Cass are on a come up because we're some Anaheim Angels on the highway to hell. Welcome to the jungle baby. You're going down!
Jericho's music hits and Y2J makes his way out.
Jericho- You're out here spitting song titles, you're more annoying than acky breaky heart. Enzo Annoying. The only reason you're still here is because when your mouth makes a mess you have your 7-foot maid to clean up for you. Look at you two, you look like Spike and Jester, those dogs. You look like goofballs! At least you always have someone watching your back, but now so do I. How you doin?
Kevin Owens' music hits and he joins Jericho on the stage. The two make their way down to the ring together.
Jericho- Now Owens and I had some problems when he came here but I took some advice and now we're closer than brothers. Canadian brothers! Through Hell and high water! You got my back, right Owens? Right? Kevin?
Owen- I thought you were being rhetorical, yeah I got your back.
Cass- You got his back, and you got his back? Like Bert and Ernie? Washing each other's backs in the bathtub.
Jericho- Only a stupid idiot would think that was funny!
Cass- You don't like that? Do something about it.
KO- I liked you in NXT, Cass, I thought I could relate because I had a deadweight best friend, too. But you didn't get rid of yours, you brought him with you to Raw. And now I have to listen to him spew on the mic every week so now I don't like you anymore. Guess what, I don't care that you're 7-foot tall I'm going to hurt you.
Cass gets in Owens face.
KO- You know what, if it's not me, Chris Jericho is gonna hurt you.
Jericho- Yeah, if he doesn't want to hurt you then I will.
Cass- Then let's go right now.
Jericho- Calm down barbarians. I wasn't talking to you.
Cass- You were looking directly at me.
Jericho- No I wasn't....I was looking at you hip hop hobbit. You know what you're gonna get? It...
Enzo- I don't know what IT is, but when I find out what IT is, I'm gonna shove it down your throat!
Enzo Amore w/Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho w/ Kevin Owens
Jericho hits a shoulder tackle to start and Enzo hits a dropkick into an armbar. Jericho fights out with a slap and follows it up with chops in the corner. Enzo fights out of the corner with a hurricarana and then hits a second. Jericho hits a right hand and uses the ropes to choke Enzo. KO hits a cheap shot when the ref isn't looking. Jericho hits a suplex. Chris puts Enzo in the corner and uses his boot to choke Enzo. Enzo counters a right hand with several of his own but then runs right into a dropkick from Y2J. Jericho talks trash and slaps the head of Enzo. Enzo fights back with some right hands but Jericho throws Enzo over the top rope. Enzo hangs onto the ropes and skins the cat! Enzo throws Jericho out of the ring and hits a baseball slide. KO runs over but so does Big Cass as we head to break.
We return and Jericho is in control of Enzo. Jericho is beating down Enzo in the corner. Enzo tries to fight back and hits a leaping DDT from the middle rope! Cass tries to fire up Enzo from the side. Jabs from Enzo and a crossbody! Enzo with a shoulder tackle. Enzo slams Jericho's head into his knee. 2 count for Enzo. Enzo runs into a boot but Enzo leaps at Jericho but gets caught and Jericho locks in Walls of Jericho! Enzo makes it to the ropes after some struggles. Jericho thinks Enzo tapped. Enzo hits an elbow and then goes to the top rope, crossbody of the top rope and a 2 count! Jericho rolls out but Enzo launches himself over the top rope onto Jericho. Enzo rolls Jericho in but KO grabs the Enzo's foot. When he finally releases Enzo he turns around into a Code Breaker. Cass had enough and runs in and hits a Big Boot to Jericho that causes the DQ.
Winner: Chris Jericho via DQ
Cass- Kevin Owens you wanna stick your nose in our business? You two verse us two in our backyard at SummerSlam! How you doin?!
Kevin Owens shouts from the ramp that they're on!
Cass- At SummerSlam we're gonna prove that there's only ONE WORD to describe you! And I'm gonna spell it out! S-A-W-F-T!
Mic Foley is on the phone with Stephanie when Sasha Banks walks in. Sasha points out that it's never a 1 on 1 match with Dana Brooke at ringside, so why not just make it a handicap match? Mic says he is a big fan of Sasha so how about this, Sasha is going to have a match tonight, if she wins Dana is banned from ringside but if Sasha loses he'll grant her request and make it a handicap match.
Braun Strowman vs. Local Jobber
Byron asks his opponent why he took this match. The guy is speechless. Braun knocks him off the apron immediately! He is thrown back in the ring and then Strowman hits a running forearm so great that it turns the guy inside out! Reverse chokeslam for the win.
Winner: Braun Strowman
Puff Daddy is talking to Mic Foley and Woods and Kofi walk in. Woods wants to personally thank him for putting together the soundtrack for WWE 2K17. He asks how Big E's nuts are! Mic tells him he can't say that on TV. Woods says he's actually going to call Big E and check in, Puff Daddy walks off with him and Kofi.
Titus O'Neil vs. Darren Young w/Bob Backlund
Titus shoves Darren and Darren smacks Titus in the face. Titus with a knee right to the nose of Darren. Darren rolls out of the ring but Titus goes after him and tackles him into the ring. Titus smacks the chest of Darren. Titus pulls Darren to his feet and hits a massive clothesline. Titus beats Darren down with blows to the back. Darren smacks Titus in the face again and hits a big right hand. Darren tries a crossbody from the turnbuckle but gets caught. Titus goes for a throw but Darren turns it into a roll-up and grabs the tights for the win!
Winner: Darren Young
Seth Rollins makes his way to the ring- Ladies and Gentlemen the new era is upon us, and it's been quite the learning experience. Even I the great Seth Rollins have learned a thing or two. I thought I knew everything about my opponent at SummerSlam, Finn Balor, I thought he was just a cheap secondhand version of...me. I mean the Jared Leto to my Heath Ledger, I speak the truth! I thought I knew everything about him but after last week I was forced to re-evaluate my opinion of Finn Balor. So he's athletic, we knew that. He's agile we know that. Any normal man who got kicked like I did might have stayed down but not me! If I were an olympian I'd have more medals than Michael Phelps! I don't want to talk about me tonight, everyone knows how good I am. I want to talk about Finn Balor. For starts, did you know Finn Balor isn't his real name? He created his legacy under a different name. Finn Balor is a name he pieced together, Finn means famous warrior and Balor means demon king. Demon King HAHA. How ridiculous does that sound? That'd be me be like me calling myself Rambo Apocalypse! Now that we know who Finn Balor thinks he is, I want to know who he really is. He's one of the most disrespectful people I've ever met. This is MY show. He gets in my face like I'm so regular person. He's so arrogant that he told me face to face that he was going to beat me for the WWE Universal title at SummerSlam. You have won TWO matches since arriving here. You disrespect me and tell me the spot at SummerSlam was HANDED to me. Like I have worked for everything in my life! Like I didn't overcome a career-threatening injury in record time! Finn Balor you are disrespectful, arrogant, and stupid. I know my place in WWE, right at the very top. I am not ignorant because I don't need smoke and mirror and paint to hype myself up. I am the myth, the legend, the MAN! In 200 years when parents talk to their kids they'll tell stories of Seth Rollins. How I slayed the beast, crushed the face that runs the place, how I conquered the Roman Empire. At SummerSlam, I am only going to add to my legend when I beat Finn Balor and become the FIRST WWE Universal Champion.
Sheamus vs. Cesaro
Lock up to start but Sheamus quickly puts Cesaro in the corner and hammers away at him. Cesaro eats a shoulder tackle from Sheamus but then hits a dropkick and clotheslines Sheamus over the top rope. Suicide Dive from Cesaro and he kinda hit a headbutt, too! Sheamus kicks Cesaro as he gets back in the ring and hits uppercuts. Sheamus with some body shots. Sheamus goes for a suplex but Cesaro counters with a deadlift suplex! Cesaro with repeated uppercuts and then goes to the top rope but Sheamus knocks him down. Sheamus hits the rolling senton. We head to commercial.
We return and Sheamus is standing on the top rope! He leaps off and hits the battering ram. More uppercuts from Sheamus to Cesaro. Cesaro counters with a few of his own. Sheamus whips Cesaro at the ropes but Cesaro lands on the apron. Sheamus goes for the 10 beats but Cesaro catches the 4th shot and knocks Sheamus away. Cesaro signals the Swing but Sheamus counters with a neckbreaker. Sheamus goes for White Noise but Cesaro counters into the Swing but Sheamus counters it into a 2 count pin. Cesaro goesf or the Neutralizer but Sheamus counters and goes for the Brogue Kick but Cesaro turns it into a roll-up and gets 2. Sheamus hits the Irish Curse but Cesaro kicks out of a pinfall at 2. White Noise! Another 2 count and Sheamus is shocked! Sheamus goes up top but Cesaro runs in and hits an uppercut! Sheamus and Cesaro exchange blows while Sheamus is sitting on the top turnbuckle until Cesaro hits a massive dropkick. Uppercut train is rolling! Sheamus uses the ref to his advantage and hits both the ref and Cesaro. Sheamus goes for the pin but the ref is out! Cesaro gets a roll-up of his own and gets the win as the ref recovers!
We get a video package for the match between Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton and their intertwining careers.
The Dudley Boyz vs. Neville and Sin Cara
The Dudley Boyz challenged Neville to find a partner and Sin Cara answered the call. Bubba and Sin Cara start things off and Bubba hits a big boot to the chest of Cara to start. Tag to D-Von who pounds Sin Cara and tags Bubba in who does the same. Bubba goes for a cheap shot on Neville but Sin Cara leaps in and takes out Bubba. Back in the ring Sin Cara hits a springboard Moonsault to take out Bubba. Sin Cara leaps out of the ring to bait D-Von but Bubba takes Sin Cara out. D-Von tags in and hits an elbow drop but only gets 2. D-Von chops Sin Cara and then whips him across the ring but Sin Cara moves out of the way of the splash and tags Neville. Big kicks from Neville and a running kick to the head. Missile Dropkick and then Neville moves out of the way of a double attack and the Dudleyz clothesline each other. Neville leaps over the top rope and takes out Bubba on the outside. Neville hits a springboard missile dropkick on D-Von. Red Arrow on D-Von for the win!
Winners: Neville and Sin Cara
After the match, Bubba looks pissed at D-Von but they leave before things go south.
Rusev and Lana come out to celebrate their marriage. The ring is decorated with flowers and 3 wedding cakes.
Lana- I am Rusev's princess and when you marry a princess you give them a fairytale wedding. That's exactly what this man did. He gave me everything I wanted, unfortunately, none of you could attend because it was VIP only.
Rusev- RESPECT MY WIFE!
Lana- However, today is your lucky day because we are going to relive our special day with all of you!
Rusev- Look at her isn't she beautiful! And she's all mine! She's my bride, my Princess Lana!
Lana- We're about to give you the best gift you've ever gotten. To re-experience our wedding day, to see what it means to have true love.
We get a video package of some of the wedding pictures.
Lana- We rented a private beach, unlike you people who can't even afford a 1-bedroom apartment let alone a beach. But my husband is the greatest man of all time.
Rusev- This is why I fight so hard, so I can provide anything for you, my wife.
Lana- I had a custom made dress. Custom cakes. TMZ and other news outlets captured our wedding. Tonight we're going to re-read each other our vows.
Rusev- Be quiet and respect my wife!
Lana- All of you get on your feet and take out your phones to capture this life changing moment.
Rusev- You're jealous American pigs!
Roman Reigns' music hits and the Big Dog comes out to the ring. Lana is furious
Roman- Take it easy, relax. I'm not out here to fight you or ruin this. I was in the back and saw the video. I noticed you didn't even have a best man. Who don't have a best man. I figured I'd step up and take on the duty of being your best man. I'd pour some drinks and give a toast.
Rusev- I don't need your stupid toast.
Roman- If you don't accept my toast, accept my challenge for the United States Title at SumerSlam.
Rusev- I'll say no to that.
Roman- You're not gonna accept my challenge then you're gonna get my toast. Gotta have a little drinky drink. *Pours champagne* Thank you because I've never seen a marriage between a Bulgarian sasquatch and a mail order bride. Woah woah, calm down, you're getting mad. I wanted to celebrate and have a good time. I'm disappointed I'm not having a good time. I was expecting more, just like Lana was on your wedding night.
Rusev blasts Roman in the face and hammers away but Roman fights back, but Rusev quickly takes control again. Roman blasts Rusev who knocks Lana into the cakes. The RED cakes. Roman laughs and gets out of the ring.
We return from break and Rusev is shouting at Mic Foley to do something. Mic says he will do something, he's going to grant Roman's request for a United States Championship match at SummerSlam.
Sasha Banks vs. Dana Brooke w/Charlotte
If Sasha wins Dana is banned from ringside at SummerSlam, if she losses it will be a handicap match.
Dana hits a cheap shot to begin with. Sasha fights back and hits knees to the chest of Dana. Sasha puts Dana in the corner but Sasha gets thrown into the turnbuckle. Dana locks in a submission on the neck of Sasha. Sasha fights out but gets hit with a big clothesline. 2 count. Dana smacks Sasha and then sets her up for a cheap shot from Charlotte but Sasha slides out of the way, and Charlotte hits Dana. Dana goes after Sasha but ends up in position for the double knees to the ribs in the corner. Sasha get the pin for the win!
Winner: Sasha Banks
Finn- Seth Rollins, I think you have some misconceptions about me . What you call disrespect I call honesty. What you call arrogance I call confidence. What you call ignorance I call iron. I know your history, do you know mine. Do you know the myths? How about my namesake Finn Macool? he was a giant that threw an island into the sea to create the isle of man. He was a hero who stabbed his own face with his poisonous blade to save the city. And what about the monsters, Seth? Do you read about them, the Dullahan. The Banshee whose screams signaled the end. Read about them? What about the King of Demons, Balor. Do you know who Balor is Seth? Do you know what he does? When his evil eye opens the world ends. First, the grass burns and the oceans boil, then the air catches fire and the world burns. When a warrior enters a great battle and he knows his flesh and his flesh are not enough they can tap into these creatures to become more than a man, he can become a myth. I know you have your demons Seth but you've never seen a demon like this. At SummerSlam you'll meet the Demon King.
Kofi Kingston w/Xavier Woods vs. Luke Gallows w/Karl Anderson
Kofi gets behind Gallows but eats an elbow. Kofi goes for a sunset flip pin but Gallows catches him, but Kofi creates separation with a dropkick. Gallows is thrown out of the ring and then Kofi leaps over the top rope to take out Luke. Anderson up on the apron but Woods grabs him. Karl ends up throwing Woods into the steel post. Kofi is distracted and it allows Gallows to hit a spinning one man flapjack for the win.
Winner: Luke Gallows
The Club tries to do the same thing to Kofi that they did to Big E but Woods runs over with a steel chair to send them running.
Mic- When I was a wrestler I lived by the montra an eye for and eye but I now see that's a bit archaic. That's why I invited our next guest, my guest, Daniel Bryan here tonight.
Daniel makes his way to the ring.
Bryan- Guys as much as it pains me to say it, hasn't Mic been doing a great job running Raw? Congratulations.
Mic- Thank you, you're not only doing a great job on Smackdown Live, but your commentary on the Cruiserweight Classic has been phenomenal.
Bryan- I'm impressed that you invited me, because Smackdown Live has been doing so great!
Mic- Woah woah, I know why you'd want to plug your show on the flagship show, Monday Night Raw, but I invited you here to apologize for the actions of Brock Lesnar last week where he invaded your show and laid out Randy Orton. I'm deeply sorry.
Bryan- Thank you mic but you don't have to apologize because Randy did fire the first shot when he came out of nowhere to hit an RKO on The Beast! For that I'm sorry. It should have never happened. I want you to know I have the utmost respect for everything--
Mic- Knock it off Daniel, if you did you wouldn't have been talking smack on Talking Smack about our Universal Title. I've got the video to prove it.
Bryan- Now that was taken out of context. I thought you should have done an interspecies title or a galaxy title.
Mic- Our fans deserve a champion who will represent our brand.
Rusev's music hits and he comes out in ring gear.
Rusev- Raw doesn't need another champion, it has one and his name is Rusev. Next time your little Smackdown superstars try to invade I'm going to crush them for the greatest GM, Mic Foley.
Bryan- Are you trying to suck up to get out of your match with Roman Reigns at SummerSlam? That's kinda pathetic.
Rusev- Listen little man, I'm going to crush you like the little Smackdown bug that you are.
Cesaro comes out- Rusev, it seems like you're having a terrible night and I have an idea of how to make it much worse. Mic you said last week if I beat Sheamus I'd earn a title match, and I think I've done just that.
Mic- In his defense, Sheamus almost had you.
Cesaro- Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were a man of your word.
Bryan- Cesaro, by the way, I think you're being totally underutilized on Raw.
Mic- Stay out of it. I am a man of my word, I'm going to prove it. Roman Reigns gets his shot at SummerSlam, but you get your shot tonight. You vs. Rusev right here for the United States Championship right now.
Cesaro vs. Rusev for the UnitedStatesChampionship
Cesaro with an uppercut train on Rusev to start and then goes for the Swing but Rusev makes it to the bottom rope. Bowling ball off the apron to take out Rusev who rolled out. Cesaro to the top rope and a crossbody to Rusev. Cesaro goes for another but misses. Rusev sends Cesaro into the steel post on his bad shoulder, then again. Then a third time. Rusev hammers away at Cesaro and then stomps him down further. Rusev slams Cesaro's other arm into the steel post. Rusev takes Cesaro's arm and slams it into the apron. Rusev pust Cesaro in the corner and shoulder's his gut repeatedly. Elbow drop on Cesaro's shoulder. 2 count. Rusev locks in a submission on the shoulder of Cesasro. Cesaro deadlifts Rusev and slams him down with one arm. Cesaro hits a big stomp on the chest of Rusev. Uppercuts from Cesaro in the corner and a tornado DDT. 2 count! Rusev with a kick to the gut and then a throw into Rusev's knee. 2 count for Rusev. Rusev signals the Accolade. He kicks the spine and tries but can't lock it in. Cesaro stands up straight with Rusev on his shoulders and hits the Electric Chair! Both men struggle to get to their feet and the men exchange blows. Springboard Corkscrew Uppercut from Cesaro! Cesaro signals the swing! Cesaro gets it and locks in the Sharpshooter! Sheamus runs out and Cesaro knocks him away but Rusev hits a big kick to the face. 1-2-NO Cesaro kicked out! Rusev gets shoved into the ref and Sheamus. Cesaro with the Neturaizer! Goes for the pin but no ref. Cesaro wakes him up and does it again but Rusev kicks out. Rusev with a thumb to the eye and Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick from the outside and the ref doesn't see it. Kick to the head and that's all she wrote.
Rusev walks away with his title but turns around into a MASSIVE SPEAR from Roman Reigns.