RAW Results November 24, 2014
From Bankers Life Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, Indiana
Reported on by Kendra Bunyon For Wrestling News World
Sting thwarted Trip and Steph. So who is in control? Find out at the top of the hour.
Recap of Sting on Survivor Series last night!
Trip's music, and out he comes, Steph in tow. Steph has her hair pulled back into a low ponytail, wearing a black dress that's long sleeved, and to below her knees, and gold dangling earrings. Holding hands they head to the ring together. Huge heat for The Authority their whole way out, and deafening after the music ends.
Steph – We expected this kind of reaction tonight.
Steph – Because none of you know respect. None of you know the courage to come out here. None of you know how to be a leader. None of you understand adversity, and come out here and accept responsibility for your actions. That's why we're out here tonight. Team Authority would have won, if not for one man. One man who had never stepped foot in a WWE ring. One man who changed the face of WWE history forever. That man is, of course, Sting! Because of Sting, The Authority is out of power. Because of my father, the only person who can reinstate The Authority is John Cena. We stand here not as losers, but as leaders, as winners. At the end of the day we still have our corporate responsibilities. We man no longer have influence over the Superstars and Divas, but we have each other.
Trip whispers in Steph's ear.
Steph (tears in her voice) – And you people, I hope you enjoy Thanksgiving with your families, because...
Steph crumbles into Trip's neck and he takes the mic.
Trip – You love this, don't ya?
Trip – Us humbled. Humiliated.
"YES!" "YES!" "YES!"
Trip – You want to see my wife cry?
"YES!" "YES!" "YES!"
Steph – What kind of people are you?
Trip – I'll tell you what they are, they're bullies.
Steph – Look in the mirror, you people.
Trip – Go ahead, cheer. The Authority is out of power! You have everything you have ever wanted. Like I said before, be careful what you wish for. I know for a fact that there's nobody here who can handle that power. We live in a world, a 'Universe', governed by the laws of finance, and commerce. ("What?") Supply and demand, something you know nothing about, and in order to make sure those things get met, there needs to be a leader who is willing to do what it takes for business. Someone who will do what's what's best for business, not what's popular. Who will make those decisions on your behalf now? Will it be John Cena? (heat) Is it going to be Dolph Ziggler? (pop) I know, maybe it's Sting. (pop) Let me address that elephant in the room. Sting, I'm not sure why you decided to come here. Why you had to stick your painted face in our business. Maybe it was some attempt to stand in a ring with me for 30 seconds and make your career relevant somehow. It doesn't matter because your first night in the WWE is your last night in a WWE ring. What you think you did was assure The Authority was out of power, what you really did was ensure the demise of the WWE. Without The Authority in power, I give this place, maybe two, three weeks at best? We have a greater responsibility than you could ever possibly fathom. You cheer for Team Cena. You curse The Authority because you have the luxury of not knowing what we know. The things we did for all of you, while seemingly cruel and sadistic are what it takes to make the WWE thrive. While The Authority's grotesque and seemingly incomprehensible to you, are what it takes to make this place continue to be the Juggernaut that it is. Who is going to make those decisions now? Without The Authority there is no Cena, no Ziggler, no Ryback. Without The Authority there is no you! So congratulations. I have a question, what are all of you going to do on a Monday night when Raw no longer exists? Huh? What you going to do? Sit on your couch with memories of your pathetic day, and wallow in self pity at all your failures. Is that what you're going to do? Good luck with that. Cheer away! Cheer! We are going to leave now!
Trip – Mark my words, you will beg for us to come back!
Heat as Trip drops the mic. Bryan's music hits and out he comes in jeans and a plaid shirt, leading "YES!" "YES!" "YES!", even King on his feet with Bryan! Steph looks about to cry, and Bryan into the ring leading the "YES!" "YES!" "YES!" Bryan right in Trip's face leading the "YES!" "YES!" "YES!" Then over in Steph's face and leads it again! Bryan is all smiles at Trip after Steph walks away. The Authority leaves the ring, so Bryan leads more "YES!" "YES!" "YES!" Trip stops on the apron, looking in at Bryan who leads more "YES!" "YES!" "YES!" Right in Trip's face. The Authority start up the ramp, so Bryan leaves the ring, right in Trip's face, leading more "YES!" "YES!" "YES!". Trip goes around Bryan, so Bryan goes around to get in his face again. Then Trip goes around, so Bryan gets in Steph's face. Trip and Steph stop on the stage and look out. Before heading around and out, Trip with one more scowl.
In Ring Segment
Bryan – Man does it feel good to be in this ring tonight. I don't know about you guys, having the ability to kick The Authority out of the ring felt good too. What about Team Authority? You might not know this, but tonight I've been put in charge of running Raw. I know Trip is convinced with people like me running this show it will be gone in a couple weeks, but with the small bit of power I've been given tonight, I've made it so Team Authority comes out before you. Just because they lost last night doesn't mean they're bad people, so let's hear it for Team Authority!
Rollins leads his Stooges, then Kane, Rusev with Lana, Harper, then Henry. All of them on the stage together. "NO!" "NO!" "NO!" from the fans.
Bryan – I'm not a spiteful man. I'm not going to strip you of your titles, or put you in unfair matches, like Steph and Hunter would. I'm a fair man, and will prove it with Mr. MITB, Seth Rollins. (heat) Seth, you're used to competing in Handicap Matches, and it seemed like you were facing guys 3-2, 4-2, all the time. Why should tonight be any different? Tonight I'm going to team you up with two other WWE Superstars to wrestle the team of John Cena and the man who single handedly defeated The Authority last night, changing the course of WWE history, Dolph Ziggler! Now, I know Cena and Ziggler are always up for a challenge, and it's going to be just what you're used to, a 3 on 2 Handicap Match. Are you trying to say something?
Rollins – Yes, I am!
Bryan – Oh, okay.
Rollins – First of all, are you in control of the mics tonight too? Huh?
Bryan – Yes!
Bryan is all giddy and smiles, playing off an obvious mic issue. "YES!" "YES!" "YES!"
Rollins – Shut up! Listen! Let's get one thing straight, whether you like it or not, I am still the future of this company, alright? Nothing you can do about that. What's the deal? Who you going to team me up with tonight? You got somebody like Hornswoggle? Maybe El Torito? What about JBL and Cole? Who's it going to be Bryan?
Bryan – Actually Seth, I am not teaming you up with anybody, the WWE 'Universe' is. The 'Universe' will get to choose your partners on the WWE App. I'm going to give you people some really good choices. Team A – Mark Henry & Luke Harper. Strong, strong team. Team B – Mark Henry & Kane. Another strong, strong team. (getting a bit of heat) I'm not trying to be unfair here. The third team of who you could team up with. Could you just move to the side a bit? Step aside.
Rollins – What are you talking about? You think this is a game? You want what? Right or left, Bryan?
Bryan – Your right, my left. Moves a little bit.
Rollins moves to show Mercury and Noble whispering to each other. They both look up.
Bryan – Team C will be Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury! Voting starts right now.
Rollins – Wait a minute! No! They're not even real security! They're just security, why should they be an option? What are you trying to do to me?
Bryan – Life is not fair, you need to accept that, and the show must go on. Step aside Seth.
Rollins – Come on, get out of here! Let's go! Come on!
Rollins herds Noble and Mercury from the stage to the back.
Bryan – And that brings us to my long time buddy, Corporate Kane. If Dr. Shelby could see us now, what would he think? You as DOO, seems like you've gone off the path. If I were in charge, you wouldn't have that job any more. Wait, I am in charge. I'm trying to be fair, let's ask the people for a second opinion. Should Kane be DOO?
"NO!" "NO!" "NO!"
Bryan – Just kind of what I suspected. I won't kick you to the curb. I don't want you to be jobless in this economy, it's kind of tough, you're no longer going to be DOO. Your new Title should be Director of Food & Beverage! (pop) Instead of Corporate Kane, you will be Concessions Kane! So, somebody bring this man a tray, and a hairnet? Please, for Concessions Kane here? There he is! There's a tray, don't forget the price of the popcorn, Concessions Kane. Get on to selling Concessions Kane!
Kane is standing there with a tray of popcorn, chips and hotdogs. Kane glares and leaves.
Bryan – And now for the US Champion, Rusev and Lana. See, I don't know about you guys, as Rusev is the US Champ should be more patriotic. He talks up Russia and down the USA. That all changes tonight. You have two options tonight. Option one, you can compete in a company wide Battle Royal for your US Championship, where you will be in the ring with every other WWE Superstar, and the winner gets to be US Champion. (pop) You don't like that? Your second option is to come to the ring with a big US flag in the background and recite the Pledge of Allegiance to the United States of America!
"USA!" chants as Lana and Rusev freak out.
Bryan – Hey man, it's your choice, you can do what you want.
They stomp off.
Bryan – No, onto my bearded brethren, Luke Harper. Last week you won the IC Championship with the help of Rollins and J&J Security, who, I might add could be Seth' partners in Option C on the App. Tonight you will be fighting by yourself tonight, but who to face? I think Lunatic Fringe, Dean Ambrose!
Harper stares, glares and leaves.
Bryan – That leaves last, but not least, the world's strongest man, Mark Henry. Mark, don't go yet. Here's the thing, I was backstage and a big guy came up to me and asked me for a favor, and I said yes, because that's kind of my thing, and he asked me if I could help him avenge one of the most embarrassing moments of his career two years ago when he lost to you at WrestleMania, that man was The Ryback. He wants a match with you, tonight. And I told him "YES!"
"YES!" "YES!" "YES!"
Bryan – You see Mark, I can do that because I'm running Raw tonight and guess what? That's what I do!
Henry bows up on stage.
Bryan – That match is happening right now.
Henry to the ring wanting Bryan right now. "Feed me more!", and Ryback is there attacking Henry. They fight to the ring. Henry into the apron, then into the post. Henry slammed back over and over into the barricade. The ref gets Ryback off Henry.
Cole, going to commercial, says it's Rusev and Henry, live, next! (oops)/
Ryback vs Henry
"Feed me more!" and Henry can barely stand. Ryback on Henry with shoulders in a corner. Henry pushed Ryback off. Henry on Ryback and pushes him down again. Ryback fights back and slams Henry down with a spinebuster. "Feed me more!" led by Ryback. Henry slowly to his feet and tries to block the meathook, but goes down and takes the three.
Winner – Ryback (0:53)
JBL is having a hissy fit about the anarchy. Cole and King tease that Raw is still on, and they were told it wasn't possible! Video recap of the high points of the match. Henry rolls from the ring to the floor. Ryback from the ring in a graceful way. Ryback yells about two years!
Steph and Trip leaving, McMahon is there at the limo, waiting.
Steph – So sorry we let you down, Dad.
McMahon – I'm not angry with the two of you. I'm not an angry man. Don't ever use that word again. I'm just disappointed. I'm disappointed in the two of you. I put insurmountable odds in front of the two of you at Survivor Series, because you're going to have to overcome insurmountable odds in the corporate world. What did you do? You failed me. You failed me. I don't like that feeling. How did it feel out there? How did those people make you feel? Don't ever forget that. Somehow, some way, you're going to fix this. Sorry. Sorry.
Steph – I am sorry.
McMahon – The hell you say! I've never been sorry for a thing in my life! A thing I did! A thing I said! I've never been sorry. The only thing I might be sorry is having to spend Thanksgiving with the two of you. Let's go! Get in there! Let's go! Sorry!
Steph into the car. McMahon in after her. Trip around the other side and gets in. the limo pulls away.
IC Championship Match – Luke Harper (c) vs Dean Ambrose
Ambrose to the ring. Stills from Survivor Series where Ambrose faced Bray. Harper to the ring, all crazy eyes.
"Let's go Ambrose!" as soon as the bell rings. JBL says Harper has the best clothesline since, well, him! They work the corner, back and forth, then Harper on Ambrose all over the ring. Blows on Ambrose in a corner. Ambrose pushes off, then takes a shoulder that drops him. Harper yells and into a drop toe hold, Ambrose on his back with forearms across the face. A knee to Harper's shoulder, and Ambrose works the arm. Arm stabber on Harper, then back on the mat, face down, with a knee to the shoulder and working the arm again! Harper grabs Ambrose's nose and tries to rip it off to get free. Ambrose whipped, gets a foot up, then a flying elbow on Harper. Harper out, Ambrose flies out onto him
Chinlock on Ambrose on the mat. Ambrose up to his knees, then brought back down to the sitting position. Ambrose up, blows to Harper, backing him into a corner. Harper reverses a whip and Ambrose hits the mat. Harper walks across Ambrose's face! Ambrose pulled up and eats an upper cut. Another upper cut, then Harper puts Ambrose in a corner. "Let's go Ambrose!" chants. JBL and Cole talk about going to the App to vote. Harper grabs Ambrose's foot whips it back and Ambrose eats mat for two.
Gator role on Ambrose. Side headlock on Ambrose on the mat. Ambrose up, takes a blow, then flies out over the top. Ambrose fights back outside with a huge clothesline! Back in the ring, Ambrose on Harper with blows and clotheslines. Harper is splashed in a corner. Ambrose into a corner, waits, moves, and makes sure Harper eats corner for two.
Harper head butts Ambrose over the top rope, sets up to suplex from the ring. Ambrose counters with a head butt. Harper in the ropes, lands a drop kick to Harper still in the ropes. Ambrose up and drops a leg across the back of Harper's neck. Ambrose gets two for it.
Chops to Harper, over and over on the ropes. Ambrose runs the ropes, but Harper is there and plants Ambrose for two.
"Let's go Ambrose!" chants fill the arena. Ambrose ducks, back slides Harper for two.
Back elbow to Ambrose in a corner, then Ambrose set up top. Harper climbs, grabs Ambrose. Ambrose blocks up top. Ambrose head butts Harper a couple times, and Harper drops to the mat. Ambrose's flying elbow takes Harper down for two.
Harper kicks Ambrose in the face for two.
Ambrose out of the ropes with a clothesline, but Harper rolls out. Harper grabs his strap and starts to leave, but Ambrose with a suicide dive through the ropes. Harper pulled back in. Harper pushes Ambrose into the ref. The ref calls for the bell.
Winner - ? via DQ(14:38)
Big boot to Ambrose. Harper leans out through the ropes, and Ambrose clocks him. A chair into the ring. Harper grabs the chair, but Ambrose steps on it, pinning Harper's hand. Dirty deeds on Harper on the chair. "We want tables!" chants. So Ambrose concedes! But wait, Ambrose pulls a ladder out, slides it in. Then the table comes out, and slid in. But Bray is there an attacks Ambrose. Sister Abigail on Ambrose! Ambrose tossed over announce. Bray then trashes announce, yelling at people to move, tossing chairs and everything on top of Ambrose behind announce. Bray poses on his knees on announce, then laughs with his arms wide.
Big E's promo for a new day.
In Ring Segment
Lilian announces Santino and Larry The Cable Guy to the ring to Santino's music. Larry The Cable Guy is in camo shorts and a mask – no shirt.
Larry The Cable Guy – I fitting to go Uncle Elmer on someone tonight.
Santino – Ladies and Gentelman I'm missing you guys so much, but let me introduce to you, my good friend Larry The Cable Guy!
Larry The Cable Guy – Getting her done. I'm ready to wrestle. Fitting to go King Kong Bundy on somebody up in here!
Santino – We're not here to wrestle. That's why you're dressed like that?
Larry The Cable Guy – We're not? That's garbage. I gave up a colonoscopy to be here tonight! I will say this, I apologize to the ladies, but this is a lot of eye candy up here for y'all. Don't look too long, we don't want to give you diabetes.
Santino – You want to wrestle, you have to train, have experience. You have experience?
Larry The Cable Guy – I beat up old Savage in Florida one night.
Santino – You beat up Randy Macho Man Savage?
Larry The Cable Guy – Who?
Santino – Randy Macho Man Savage!
Larry The Cable Guy – No, I beat up Fred Savage one night. He got in front of me at the buffet at Cracker Barrel. I gave him the old Jerry Lawler elbow, like that! He don't mess with me at no buffet.
Santino – If you were a wrestler, what would all this be called?
Larry The Cable Guy – I'm a fan of Stone Cold Steve Austin. (pop) He's a friend of mine, I think if I was wrestling, I'd be Stone Cold Creamery! They make good ice cream!
Santino – The way they fold it into the flavors!
Larry The Cable Guy – That's right, but I was thinking that I got me a ni
Dust's music hits.
Larry The Cable Guy - ...what's that? Santino, what is?
The Dusts are all around Larry The Cable Guy, Stardust is hissing at him.
Larry The Cable Guy – I just pooped my pants. Santino, what was that? I was just kidding about wrestling! I'm getting out of here!
Stills recap of Fatal 4 Way last night for the TTC.
Tag Team Championship – Miz & Mizdow (c) vs Dusts
Miz and Mizdow to the ring. Miz is carrying the real set of straps, Mizdow has a toy set of straps. The ref doesn't know what to do with the pile of belts in hand. Miz gets heat, but Damien Sandow gets pop, and named that way by Lilian.
Stardust all over Miz early, but Miz comes back quickly. Miz reaches for a tag, Mizdow gets pop, but Stardust stops him and tags in Goldust. Inverted atomic drop, then Mizdow in and takes the same move via air, and distracts Goldust enough. Miz on Goldust, but Mizdow poses for pop. Mizdow abuses himself outside the ring. "We want Mizdow!" chants. Facelock on Miz from Stardust, takes Miz down, and Mizdow hits the apron. Stardust knocks Mizdow off the apron, then Miz sent out the other side.
Miz with blows on Stardust. Stardust whipped, but comes out with an elbow that drops Miz. Miz tags out to huge pop. Miz's double breaker move, distracted by Goldust, then hung up by Stardust who then hisses at the camera. Miz is being tended to outside the ring. Both brothers on Mizdow in the corner. Snap mare on Mizdow, then a blow to the back of his head. Face and arm lock on Mizdow on the mat. Mizdow fights back with blows, but is whipped. Mizdow with a foot up, but then takes a spinebuster for two.
Stardust tags in, gets heat when posing. Stardust on Mizdow, delayed face plant for two. Stardust with another two on Mizdow.
Miz is yelling about his precious nose. Arm hold on Mizdow in the ring, and more on Miz outside. Mizdow whipped, then comes back on Stardust with the fig 4! And does it better than Miz! Goldust kicks Mizdow in the head, then is reversed and tossed out. Stardust reverses on the SCF. Miz reaches up, tags in. Stardust connects on Mizdow. Miz with the SCF on Stardust for three.
Winners – Miz & Mizdow (10:12)
Miz poses with the real straps, Mizdow with the toys. Mizdow is the one getting the pops from the fans.
King goes through who to vote for for the main event tonight. (I, of course, voted for J&J Security)
He's selling nachos and popcorn. His manager comes up and says today they won't be burning things, so no deep frier. And Kane will be on chips, if any go missing, it's out of his paycheck. She gives him an apron. He's not impressed.
In Ring Segment
Rusev and Lana in the ring.
Lana – This is not fair. America is not fair. What kind of country forces its will upon its people.
Rusev – I don't care who's in charge of Raw! ("What?") I'm not going to be brainwashed by you dumb Americans! ("What?") Lana, we go!
Bryan (on tron) - Up here. See, I thought something like this might happen, let me remind you, should you choose not to perform the Pledge of Allegiance, I can send down a ref right now, and you can have a Battle Royal. Unlike the previous outfit that ran the show, I'm going to give you another chance. To make sure you do this properly, I'm going to enlist somebody to supervise.
Out comes Sgt. Slaughter! He's in a camo blazer and his hat and aviators. He's looking quite thin, but still broad! Sgt. calls for the flag and Lana screeches. Rusev wipes the spit off his face.
Sgt. - Now, place your hands over your hearts, repeat after me loud and clear, and that's an order! I pledge allegiance...
They don't do it.
Sgt. - I pledge allegiance!
The fans repeat after Sgt. Finally, Lana does it in a tiny voice. He gets right in her face over it.
Sgt. - I can't hear you!
Lana does it.
Sgt. - To the flag! To the flag!
The fans repeat after Sgt. each time.
Sgt. - Of the United States of America!
Rusev takes Lana's mic, then steps back and holds the ropes for her. "USA!" chants. The strap and the star to Lana, Rusev yelling at Sgt. Sgt. steps back to the corner, then out at Rusev. Off comes the hat. Then Swagger is rushing the ring with Zeb in tow. Rusev stomps down Swagger, then on Swagger's arm, but then Rusev slammed to the mat. Patriot lock! Rusev free and flees to heat from the fans. Swagger's music plays as Swagger and Zeb stand tall with Sgt. Slaughter. The fans are all there with the three in the ring.
He's handing out food, but not taking money.
Larry The Cable Guy – He don't look too friendly.
Santino – He set a few people on fire, but he's not bad. (to Kane) Hey, Kanney, hotdog, heavy mustard!
Santino is doused in mustard, then Kane gives Larry The Cable Guy a hotdog and tells him that he's a big fan. Larry The Cable Guy wipes his hotdog on Santino and leaves.
Justin Gabriel vs Fandango
Gabriel in the ring. Cole talks about how Fandango comes out, and with who. Lilian announces the new and improved Fandango. Rosa is in the ring dancing in a spotlight. Fandango in all black, slides into the ring, they circle, then dance, Rosa up on his shoulder, then rolls down his body, leg in the air. Outside Gabriel doesn't look impressed.
Fandango runs the ropes, then an elbow to Gabriel's face as fans sing Fandango's old music. Blows on Gabriel in a corner. Gabriel whipped, and Rosa swoons. Gabriel to the apron, then fight. Gabriel climbs, comes off the top with a blow. Off the other corner with an elbow. Back kick on Fandango, but Fandango comes back with another clothesline to flip Gabriel. More singing off Fandango's old music. Gabriel slammed to the mat, but then "CM Punk!" chants. Fandango with his left leg drop for three.
Winner – Fandango (1:41)
Video recap of the high points of the match. Fandango and Rosa dance in the ring again.
Big Show in a suit, his beard is darkened, and is all pissy at everyone in his way. Walking with a perma-sneer.
Indianapolis Colts are all smiles for the camera.
In Ring Segment
Big Show's music and he heads to the ring with his new look, but a huge smile and waving at the fans. Heat for Big Show.
Big Show – I wanted to come out to make sure we're all cool. I saw some things online, some reactions backstage. A lot of people are under the idea that I committed some horrible atrocity, and now I'm a bad guy! Well, honestly, that's the furthest thing from the truth, I'm a human being that made a mistake. Human beings make mistakes all the time. There's not one person who can't say that they haven't also made a mistake. (upset, almost crying face) Don't misunderstand what happened. I despise The Authority. They took my job, my house, and forced me to do horrible things to people I care about. People I respected! People like Daniel Bryan. Sure, physically I'm strong. I'm a giant. I didn't ask to be born this way. I have a medical condition that makes me this large and freakishly strong! But on the inside I'm just like each and every one of you. I have feelings. I have fears. I have a family to provide for, just like many of you. You know what you would do for your family. Last night at Survivor Series, in the heat of the moment, I made a snap decision, and I panicked. I surveyed the scene. Ziggler was out, Cena could barely get to their feet, and I looked across the ring to see three fresh, hungry guys. At that moment, I thought my team would loose. I did what I thought I had to do. If you put yourself in my shoes, you would do the honorable thing, the right thing, and be able to forgive me. I get it. You guys come to a show, you want to cheer and boo, but this is not the appropriate time for this. It's not. This is serious. I am a good person! (heat) Look, if I could do it over again, go back in time, knowing how things turned out, I wouldn't have done what I did!
"You sold out!" chants.
Big Show – You believe that, right? (heat) Look, not to sound like some kind of a jerk here, quite frankly, for the past 20 years, I've been putting my body on the line, performing for each and every one of you, and I kinda think you guys owe me a Mulligan. Let's just forget what happened at Survivor Series and pretend it never happened. What do you say?
"You sold out!" chants.
Big Show (turning to gravely heel voice) – How nice! For you to sit there and judge me on the decisions that I've made! How high and mighty all of you are to pass judgment on me when you have nothing on the line. This is my life, mine, not yours. You don't think that I don't hear the whispers? Big Show is a traitor.
"YES!" "YES!" "YES!"
Big Show – I am not a traitor. I am the Big Show I deserve respect, damn it! You wanna boo? Let me clear you in on a little secret. I hear those cowards in the locker room whispering that sentiment that I am a traitor. If any of you cowards in the back have something to say, come say it to my face. Don't whisper behind my back!
Rowan's music hits! Out he comes, sheep mask on his face. Rowan to the ring and Big Show is laughing.
Big Show – This is absolutely ridiculous! Are you kidding me? Are you absolutely kidding me? Eric Rowan, the upside-down Sheamus has something to say? I understand if someone like Cena came out here, he at least has a legitimate gripe. You, what do you have to say? I've got to say I'm surprised you have the courage (baby voice) without your itty-bitty stuffed kitty-cat with you. You're so big and brave to come out here without your wittle kitty-cat. Oh, you're a tough guy, aren't you? Look, Eric, this ring is made for men.
"Eric Rowan!" chants, and Big Show stops to let them chant. Rowan looks around, then removes his mask. Big Show right up to Rowan.
Big Show – Listen son, you have no place being out here. Why don't you go back up the ramp before you get yourself hurt. Let's go back up the ramp.
Big Show with an arm around Rowan to herd him back, but Rowan pushes the mic down and away from Big Show's face. Rowan takes the mic.
Rowan – I don't like bullies!
Rowan all over Big Show, into the spin kick. Big Show rolls out of the ring. Rowan is ready to go. Big Show tosses the top of the stairs off. Big Show yells that Rowan sealed his fate. Rowan is ready to go in the ring. Then Big Show stomps off. Rowan is left talking to his mask.
J&J come bumbling in. Noble says it will be okay, they will be like The Shield 2.0!
Rollins – You're great, but you don't exactly measure up to my other potential tag partners.
Ziggler – Seth may not believe in you, but I do. I just asked my 1.4 Twitter followers to vote for your guys.
mob and Mercury are all bowed up and ready to go. Ziggler leaves and they sink back down at Rollins being tweaked out.
WWE Slam of the Week
Stills of the Divas Championship Match at Survivor Series, including the kiss.
Brie vs AJ
Bellas in the ring, both of them are all smiles. AJ out to face her looking pissed.
AJ – Congratulations Nikki, you found a way to turn my life's work into a shiny new accessory! Seriously, (twirling her hair) though, that Title goes so well with your shoes, OMG! Brie, lez-be-honest, you should be proud of yourself too. You did the impossible, you proved that you are an even bigger skank than your sister!
Brie on AJ with blows in a corner. AJ comes out with forearms. Drop kick to Brie into the ropes. AJ slides out, knocks Brie down, then on Nikki. AJ then turns around into a huge clothesline from Brie. AJ rolled in and Brie gets two for it.
Arm slam on AJ, then Brie slams down on AJ's arm. AJ's arm locked on the bottom rope briefly. A kick to AJ in a corner, then a hammer lock with AJ face down on the mat. Nikki talks smack, Brie demands the ref ask AJ. AJ fights back with forearms, but Brie right back on AJ's left arm. AJ manages to comes back for two.
Thesz Press on Brie. AJ slams into Brie in a corner, then a back kick to Brie. Shining wizard for two.
AJ kicked off by Brie, but then a blow to Brie's chest and an elbow to her face. Nikki on AJ's arm over the top, then Brie rolls AJ up for three.
Winner – Brie (3:25)
AJ – And there it is, it takes two Bella twins to be the Champion. But two of you don't even come close to being half the woman I am!
Both Bellas check out their boobs in response.
AJ – You wanna cheat? Kiss your way to a Title. It's about time someone breaks things to the Bellas. Talent is not sexually transmitted!
Nikki poses while Brie seethes on the ramp.
Rose & Bunny vs Kidd & Nattie
Santino and Larry The Cable Guy are on announce, and the Bunny over to dance at them. Santino up to dance with him. Rose isn't thrilled. Larry The Cable Guy then gets up to dance too. Rose out to announce and grabs the Bunny and sends him into the ring ears first.
Bunny works Larry The Cable Guy, and Rose sends him back to their corner, and yells at him. Rose tags out. "Bunny!" chants. Bunny ducks Kidd and struts. Larry The Cable Guy says he has that outfit at the house. Bunny ducks Kidd in a corner, then poses with his bum up. Kidd rushes, eats foot. Missile drop kick to Kidd. Bunny on Kidd in a corner. Single foot back kick from Kidd, then all over Bunny in the Canadian corner. Nattie wants in, so her hubby tags in. Nattie tends to the Bunny. Kidd tags himself in and demands a cheek kiss. Kidd on the Bunny. Bunny tags out. Clotheslines and a SICK spine buster on Kidd! Bunny grabs Rose's foot and costs Rose the match when Kidd rolls him up for three.
Winners – Nattie & Kidd (3:03)
Bunny in to beg forgiveness from Rose.
Renee – Congratulations on your win against Henry.
Ryback – Thanks Renee, I'm not really concerned about that right now. It's almost Thanksgiving and The Big Guy's hungry. Speaking of which, you know where a concession stand is? Hehehe!
Kofi, Woods, and Big E, a new day is coming.
Ryback – The Big Guy's hungry!
Security is holding a HUGE group of people back, because you cannot really get food from Concession Kane!
Ryback – I'll take two cans of tuna fish. A protein shake with extra protein for The Big Guy, and a big bag of beef jerky.
Kane – Fresh outta all that, how about a hotdog?
Kane flicks a hotdog in Ryback's face. Ryback pushes the counter, and Kane back to the back counter.
Ryback – How about a little red for the Big Red Machine. You little yellow ___ coward!
Kane flees to cheering from the fans. Ryback grabs a bag of roasted peanuts that the camera zoomed in on.
Ryback – Hey Kane, you forgot your nuts! Stupid! Hehehe!
Renee announces Cena and Ziggler.
Renee – What an extraordinary 24 hours it's been.
Cena – That's the understatement of the year. You know, last night, after I was knocked unconscious by a 500lbs traitor, I woke up to find that Team Cena was Ziggler. Ziggler alone had to face almost the entire Team Authority.
Ziggler – Superstars' jobs were on the line. I promised you, I told Team Cena, if there was a last breath in my body, I was going to find a way to survive. Yet, somehow, the odds were not stacked in my favor, and we needed a miracle. That miracle was a man named Sting, and he helped change the course of history.
Cena – Because of Sting, and Dolph Ziggler, The Authority is history, which brings me to tonight. Daniel Bryan is running Raw, #YesMovement is running wild, and he has put the power where it belongs, with all of you. Tonight the 'Universe's voice will be heard as they decide who joins Rollins against the man who runs the place, and the showoff, and with a team like this, you can consider the show about to be stole!
Dolph Ziggler & John Cena vs Seth Rollins & Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury
Ziggler to the ring to huge pop, given more time to get in there, pose and bask than we've seen in a long time. Cena out to tag with him, but still given much more time. Bryan's music and out he comes, leading "YES!" "YES!" "YES!"
Bryan – Before we reveal the voting results, I want to introduce one opponent, Mr. MITB, Seth Rollins!
Rollins out looking very pissy.
Bryan – And now, to see who the 'Universe' has chosen as Rollins' tag team partners...
Kane & Henry 3%
Harper & Henry 4%
J&J Security 93%
Rollins looks about to puke. King said it was the second highest App vote in WWE history! Noble and Mercury out to tag with Rollins, both in their suits. Dueling Cena chants start before they get in the ring. Rollins tries to direct Mercury and Noble, ends up saying, "Fuck!" loudly, with a camera less than two feet away, looking side view at his face. Of course they bleeped it, but it was quite obvious what Rollins said.
Noble is ready to start. Rollins yells at him to remove his tie. Side headlock on Cena that Cena offered up cleanly. Mercury in off a blind tag. Noble ends up running the ropes over Cena and Mercury, until Cena is out of the way, and Noble and Mercury run into each other! Mercury up for an AA, Rollins pulls him off and yells at them outside.
Noble tags in and stomps and shoulder blocks a beaten down Cena. Noble uses the corner to stomp Cena in a corner. A knee to Cena's face in a corner. Noble rushes Cena, ends up shoulder first. Mercury yells at Noble to get to their corner. Cena tags out. Ziggler with clotheslines and a big splash on Noble. Swinging neck breaker on Noble. Epic elbow on Noble. Noble planted, Mercury breaks the count.
Rollins on Ziggler behind the ref's back with a clothesline over the top rope. Rollins tags in with blows on Ziggler. Ziggler out through the ropes. Rollins distracts the ref so Mercury can slam Ziggler into the barricade. Ziggler slammed face first to the apron by Rollins. Ziggler rolled in, then a hammer lock on Ziggler on the mat, also pulling out Ziggler's hair. Noble tags in and helps Rollins stomp Ziggler on the mat. Noble slammed Ziggler to the mat. Facelock on Ziggler on the mat. Jaw breaker on Noble who has lifts in his shoes to give him height! Ziggler flies on Noble, but eats corner. Noble stands his thick soled shoes on Ziggler's head and grinds. Ziggler up with an enziguri that drops Noble hard. Mercury tags in and stop Ziggler from tagging out. Ziggler is away and tags out. Shoulder tackles on Mercury, knocks the heels down, then 5 knuckle shuffle. Rollins in, up, ducks Ziggler, and then Noble and Mercury in to break it all up. Ziggler and Cena reverse whips, and so Mercury and Noble bounce off each other. Zig-zag on Noble, AA on Mercury. Both pinned for three.
Winners – Ziggler & Cena (10:46)
Bryan sends Rollins back to the ring. Superkick from Ziggler, then an AA and Rollins rolls out. Bryan in to lead the "YES!" "YES!" "YES!" from the fans.
Ding-Ding! And the lights blink on and off. (I honestly yelled no and threw my glasses down on the desk!) Again, ding-ding. The announcers act all shocked, but the Raw GM podium is right there. Cole laughs.
Cole – Can I have your attention, please. I just received an email from the Anonymous Raw GM! And I quote, "Forgive me for interrupting this joyous celebration, this party is officially over. Next Monday, Cyber Monday, order and discipline return to Monday Night Raw!"
Ding-Ding! Lights flash and the dinging is out of control. Cena is cussing out Cole. Raw goes off the air to the flashing and dinging.
Rusev & Lana